Wow - thanks to those who are reading! that makes me feel loved! And thanks to DavidJDuncan, Chromo26 and Rogue Butterfly for reviewing!

Here is the final part. I hope you enjoy it - and please, as it's the last chapter, let me know what you think!

Prinnie

Her mother had died knowing that her daughter had met her goal, also knowing that she had denied herself the dream that was once an ultimate goal. If her daughter was happy, well then – she wasn't dying. Andrea Cuddy knew her daughter like the back of her hand. She was pleased with what she had achieved throughout her career, and was satisfied with life in general. Her personal life was a whole other ballgame. Just as Lisa Cuddy knew all that went on in her hospital – Andrea Cuddy knew all that went on in her children's lives. It was like a maternal sixth sense. She didn't have to be told, she just knew. Andrea knew that despite her façade, Lisa still harbored many regrets in her life. She felt so guilty when she last spoke with her mother. She'd abandoned her childhood dreams and for that, she was guilty of. She assured her mother that she was happy – even though Andrea would see straight through her. Her last words to Lisa were 'You can still have what you want. What you need. You can still be happy, but no matter what, I'll always love you.'

Andrea knew what Lisa denied. Lisa denied that she had any regrets. Why would she? She was extremely successful, was well respected, and had few, yet loyal friends. Should she be guilty? She had achieved what some people could only see in their dreams. However, Andrea saw the truth, Cuddy was guilt ridden about letting her drive for success surpass her true dream to be a doctor. She had long given up her dream of practicing medicine in her field to become the Dean of Medicine. Sure, she still treated patients, but it was not the same. She wasn't exactly healing the patients like she wanted to. House was right. She hadn't been a Doctor in years.

Her biggest, deepest secret was also her biggest regret. She had no one to blame but herself. Her late nights study, being so into her work, committed to perfecting her grades – she forgot to take care of herself. Her doctors ordered her to take it easy especially in her condition, but there was a month until finals. She was young and driven. She had just been handed one-half of her dream, and the rest of it was a month away. She wanted it so badly she could taste it. Then the unthinkable happened. She could not blame anyone else but herself. It was her fault. She'd lost her child.

The wail of a baby shook Lisa out of her trance. She blinked a couple of times, and realized that she was crying. Anxiously, she quickly wiped them away, slightly smudging her make up.

"Erm, excuse me Dr. Cuddy?" The nurse tentatively walked up to Lisa, seeing that she was upset and not wanting to pry. She had only come to get a form signed. Lisa sniffled. 'Back to work. The one thing that keeps me going, the one reason I have to get up in the mornings.'

Lisa signed the forms, and returned the nurse a strained smile. She needed to get out of there. All of a sudden, the surroundings, the people, and the sounds – it was all too much. She felt like the walls were suddenly caving in on her, and her breathing became labored. She had to get out of there. She wiped away the remaining tears, and briskly walked out of the department, heading towards the stairs. Only one image stopped her in her tracks – a mother cooing over her newborn child. Again, her chest tightened as she turned and bounded up the stairs. 'That should have been me.'

She hated meeting with the parents of a dying child. There was nothing worse than telling a parent that their child wasn't going to make it. No body knew about her past, and she was going to keep it that way. No matter how painful it would be. Trying to objectively console grief-stricken parents when you couldn't reveal your own pains was torture.

"Do you have any children Dr. Cuddy?"

She paused, her voice catching in her throat, "No, I don't"

"Then don't say –'I understand what you're going through', because you CAN'T! You've never known what it feels like to face losing your child, or to have lost one!"

Lisa averted her eyes, silently thinking, 'But I DO, I really do!'

Stood on the roof of her hospital, under the stars, Lisa's thoughts led her back to her college days. Even though she completely immersed herself in her textbooks, she still had time to venture into the realms of College flings. She had had a few memorable flings, but one in particular would have to have been during her residency. She had heard of this man throughout her undergraduate years. He was a legend, and she knew him only as that. In the later years, they had crossed paths, becoming sparring partners. She then knew the Legend - they were friends. Before he moved on to bigger and better places, she not only knew the Legend, but she had the Legend – in more ways than one.

She would often think of what her child would have looked like. Would he or she have looked exactly like her, but with his eyes? Or would he or she have looked exactly like him, but with her hair, and nose? One thing was for sure. The child would have its father's brilliant eyes, an intelligent mind, and with parents equally as stubborn as the other, the child was sure to have inherited that 'quality'. The tears started falling once again, as she imaged her life with an adorable child to watch over.

"Cuddy," Lisa started as she heard the gruff voice behind her, the extra thud on the concrete, and the slap of the files on the ledge of the roof.

"What do you want House?" her voice was filled with emotion. House winced. He had an emotional, slightly bitchy woman on his hands, and he was doomed if he blamed it on PMS.

"Steven Johnson and Marcus Kaii. Both in excellent health, with an exemplary sperm count. Anything on your mind Cuddy?"

Lisa snorted, and blew her nose on his offered handkerchief.

"I can't believe you carry around a handkerchief." Despite the directions of her earlier thoughts, and her seeming need to speak to somebody – she really did not want to be speaking to House. Period.

"Yeah I save it for when I'm rescuing damsels in distress." Lisa raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah yeah, I'm a regular Lancelot. What's going on? Those two files are not patient files. At least not for my department, maybe for the guys and gals heading up In-vitro- which in your case, is the right department. According to your garbage anyways, and that Red Clover seems to fit the bill of 'you want a baby'." House looked at her expectantly.

He was having a little trouble reading her tonight, despite the fact that already she had broken down twice, in the span of an hour. But she'd crawled back into her shell, and she wasn't coming back out. The only way she would come back out was if you smoked her out.

"House It's none of your business. Just drop it."

"You made it my business when you put that memo on those folders for your assistant to give to me." Cuddy made no move to elaborate, so he decided to take it into his own hands.

"Right, differential diagnosis. 38 year old, successful female. Workaholic, loner- ow" Cuddy slapped his arm for that last 'diagnosis' before he continued,

"Annoying, and scary maternal clock has to be ticking.Ahh so Cuddles dear," he said in a patronizing voice, "You are realizing that your time to pop out Mini-Cuddy's is running out, and are starting to look at other options, and obviously J-Date, hasn't worked out for you, so sperm donor it is. Personally, I don't see why you'd want a child. Just another bit of emotional baggage. Besides, the amount of time you spend here, would you even have time for it? I can see it now, 'Driven Dean of Medicine Neglects own Child.' Ohh your face would be so red."

Lisa turned away from him, as he'd hit the nail on the head. All her defences came down. All at once, she was flooded with the memory of sitting in a pool of her own blood in her bathroom, her mother banging on the door, tears streaming down her face. The aching pain in her stomach, the heartache afterwards and then that deep, numb feeling of loss. He didn't know. She refused to tell him. What difference would it make? It wouldn't change anything. Those exact reasons – her putting her work before everything else was the exact reason for why she was successful, why she wasn't in a stable relationship, why she was childless. She wanted to run, run away from it all. She wanted this day to be over, better yet, to never have happened. She wanted to forget.

House watched as the conflict of emotions flew rapidly across her face. His face if possible, softened,

"Cuddy, what's going on in that head of yours?" Lisa just shook her head, unable to speak. Suddenly he was concerned. The last time he saw her like this was when Andrea was diagnosed with breast cancer. What if –

"Lisa – is there something you're not telling me, that I need to know? Or that I don't need to know, but that I'll want to know?"

Cuddy looked into his eyes, dark, sad, stormy eyes, contrasting with the curious cerulean blue. She bit her lip, 'You were my baby's father.'

"No."

With that, she dropped the files on the ledge of the roof, and started to walk back towards the hospital, her captor, leaving House there to ponder what was going on.

As she walked past him, he grabbed her wrist, and she turned back. Their eyes connected for that brief moment, sad eyes coursing into the deep blue ones. For that brief moment, they reminisced, an un-spoken communication. Then she shook her head forlornly, and stepped away, not before softly squeezing his hand and walked away.

In the wind, the contents of the files swirled around, carried away by the breeze -lost, forgotten.

House watched her from the roof, watching her drive away. Home, to the comfort of her bed, pondering what could have been.

Fin

Ok the end!

please let me know what you think - pretty pretty please!

Prinnie