"I Will Never Be With You"
This isn't right. She's the Princess, and I'm the guardian. She already has her Prince, her true love. And she's my best friend.
But I can no longer deny this feeling. When I see her, my heart skips a beat. When she hugs me, I feel like I'm floating. At the very mention of her name, my heart races. When I get back to the shrine after being with her, I replay every moment that passed between us. She consumes my every thought.
I'm in love with her.
But this is wrong. Our destinies are already decided. I can't change them. Usagi is meant to be with Mamoru. And even if their paths were not already chosen for them, they would still be together. They're just meant for one another.
Every time I see them together, laughing, dancing, playing around, I feel like breaking something. Whenever I see them, my anger grows. It's rapidly increasing, becoming a while hot fire that burns inside me, urging me to lash out. I'm afraid that one day, I may snap. But I am able to stay calm. I don't act any differently than I used to. I treat them both as I have always treated them. I keep my mask on, and I can't let it slip.
I need to get over this. Maybe with time, this feeling will fade… But it seems so impossible. I just feel so much for her. I would, (and have) give my life to save hers. I love her so deeply, and feel so passionately for her. It's just something that I can't put into words.
But I have to do something. I can't keep loving her in the way I am now. It just cannot be. Going far away from Japan would be the best way to let this go, no matter how much it would kill me to leave her behind. But I can't just up and leave. I have a duty as a soldier to protect my future queen. So I must stay with her and try to push my feelings away. I have to bury them deep inside myself, to a place where they will never return.
Maybe I'll try dating. That could get my mind off Usagi. I'll try anything right now. I may love the feeling I get when I'm around her, but I know we can never be. I know my place. I can't let myself get carried away. I'll just have to be happy being her friend. It'll just have to be enough.
End