Anakin growled in frustration as once again a screen popped up denying him access to a mission report. Anakin had been running into them constantly when researching Obi-Wan's early mission reports.

"It's too bad you can't just slice through to the information Master," Ahsoka said brightly trying to lighten the dark mood Anakin was beginning to slip into due to his frustration.

Anakin glared at his Padawan, not amused.

"That would be easy," he complained, "However as you know I'm on thin enough ice as it is Snips. I don't think they would be too lenient with me a second time around. Besides Obi-Wan would find out what we are doing, and I doubt he would be too happy either."

Ahsoka grimaced at the thought. She was sure that Master Obi-Wan had a reason on why he never spoke of his past. She could already see his severely disappointed look. The few times she had seen that face, she felt like a rock had dropped into her stomach. Except Ahsoka was sure that it would be even worse.

"Is there anything I can help you with Knight Skywalker, Padawan Tano?" came the unexpected voice of Madame Nu. She had been watching the pair for the past half hour and had felt the Knight's frustration across the Archives.

The wheels in Anakin's head turned, Madame Nu would have access to the reports as head of the Archives.

"Yes Madame Nu, I'm just trying to access Obi-Wan's mission reports when he was a Padawan, but I cannot get the access. And for some reason I can't find anything prior to him turning 13."

Madame Nu paused and Anakin felt a flicker of surprise and a sense of finality, as if Madame Nu had been waiting for this day.

"Follow me please," she said.

Anakin and Ahsoka shared a look of surprise but hurried to follow the elder Jedi as she led them out of the Archives and to her quarters.

"Please take a seat," Jocasta said motioning for the two to sit on her couch. "I will be back in a moment."

Anakin was again surprised how personable the apartment was. Madame Nu's apartment was done in light greens and blues and unsurprisingly several Data Pads were displayed throughout the room. In comparison of what he saw, Obi-Wan's apartment were sparse, only the plants he kept showing anyone lived there. Which was strange because Anakin could have sworn it was full of things when they arrived the first night back from Naboo. But when he woke up the next morning it was bare. Anakin had always put it down as being tired. But now he wondered if Obi-Wan had went through the apartment and gotten rid of everything that reminded him of Qui-Gon.

Jocasta left the two in her sitting room as she went back to her room. On her chest of drawers was a simple jewelry box where Jocasta placed her hair pins at night. However it also contained something very important, something Jocasta had thought would never be played. A small blue holocron lay in the box. Given to her by Tahl a good friend, and Lore Keeper.

Jocasta remembered the memory of this holocron being given to her days before Tahl had left for that final mission on New Apsolon.

"Promise me Jocasta, if Obi-Wan's future Padawan comes here searching for answers about their Master's past you will show them this holocron," pleaded Tahl. Her blind eyes uncannily staring straight in Jocasta's.

Jocasta had tried to argue that the Padawan would be able to look at the records like any other Padawan could with their Master. But instead of assuring Tahl, it made her more agitated.

"Most of Obi-Wan's records are sealed, no one without Council clearance will ever see them. The Council and Qui-Gon did him no favors by sealing those records Jocasta, they don't understand. Obi-Wan is not like other Jedi. He feels things deeply and tries to take the weight of the world on his shoulders. He so wants to be the perfect Jedi, for Qui-Gon to be proud with him, that he is suppressing everything."

"Have you seen something?" asked Jocasta gently. "Has the Force shown you something?"

Tahl pursed his lips. "I see him alone, alone with his guilt and broken. Feeling responsible for the collapse of his entire world. I can't let that happen!" Tahl said passionately. " Obi-Wan has already lost so much of his innocence. If the Council and Qui-Gon won't help him. I will!"

Jocasta had finally agreed to hold onto the holocron. She had forgotten it as the years passed, but when Anakin had come into the Temple, Jocasta had remembered and kept the holocron close on hand. But years passed and Skywalker had never ventured into the Archieves seeking answers about his Master until now.

"I thought I would be showing you this many years ago," Jocasta mused stepping out of her bedroom with the holocron in her hand, "But better late than never," she said gently. "This will answer all the questions you seek," Jocasta said holding the holocron out for Anakin to take.

Anakin hesitantly reached out and took the small holocron from the older Jedi. Like all holocrons it pulsed faintly with the recorders force presence. However there was something different with this holocron compared to many others Anakin had held before.

It took Anakin a moment to place the emotion the holocron was radiating, it was love.

Ahsoka ran a finger down the side of the cube. "I've never felt one like this Master," she said in an awed voice.

"Me either Snips," Anakin replied. A holocron was usually calm feeling, serene like a Jedi should be. Whoever had made this one, had made it with love.

Anakin reached through the Force, manipulating it until the holocron unfolded in his hand like a flower.

The form of a woman appeared over the open holocron, smiling softly.

"Hello young Padawan. If you are watching this, then this means I am both dead and Obi is being stubborn," joked the woman with a trace of sadness. "I am Jedi Master Tahl, Head Archivist and Lore Master and I am the closest thing to a Mother Obi-Wan has in the Order."

Anakin felt stunned at that admission. He had never heard another Jedi coming out and saying that.

The image chuckled as if she could feel his shock. "If your anything like my Obi, you are probably shaking your head at the blasphemy of the idea. But since I am already dead, I no longer care. I love Brant and Obi-Wan like they were my own and it is a Mother's job to protect her own, even from themselves."

Anakin was surprised, he had never ever heard Obi-Wan mention this woman. Already he could tell he would have liked her. She was strong and passionate, and not afraid to say her feelings. Her face was fierce as she declared it was her job to protect Brant and Obi-Wan. It reminded him so much of his Mother it hurt.

"I first want to say to be patient with Obi, young Padawan. He has lost much in his young life, too much and Qui…Qui is to broken to fully see the damage he is doing to Obi."

Mace had hinted that Obi-Wan's relationship with Qui-Gan had been rocky. And Anakin had a feeling he was about to find out how bad it was.

"One of your many questions might be why you can't find records of Obi-Wan going on missions prior to his 13th year. I imagine Obi-Wan has grown into one of the best Jedi the Order has to offer, and you are eager to see where such a Jedi first began. Well dearheart, your Master was not chosen and was sent away to the Agri-Corps two weeks prior to his 13th birthday."

"What!" Anakin exclaimed, not believing it. He turned to Jocasta as if hoping she would deny it. However Jocasta just looked grimly back at him. Anakin turned to Ahsoka who had a thoughtful look on her face.

"Snips?"

"There were always rumors about how a Jedi Knight had returned from the Agri-Corps," Ahsoka spoke up, "But we all thought it was just a story to keep our hopes up. You know, even if we are sent away there would be a chance someone would come for us. I never thought Master Obi-Wan wouldn't get chosen, I mean it's Obi-Wan, one of the youngest Councilors in generations and one of the Orders best Negotiators."

"Why the kirf could he not be chosen," muttered Anakin. So many Knights and Masters had wanted to train him, and Obi-Wan was the perfect Jedi, so patient, so kind. Why hadn't Master and Knights fought to train him in the Agoge. Hadn't they seen the bright light that was Obi-Wan Kenobi?

The image of Tahl looked sad as she continued to tale. "It wasn't Obi-Wan's fault, not really. The closer he got to his birthday, the more scared and angry he became. Scared because his whole life he had been told he would be a Jedi Knight and he hadn't been chosen yet, and if he didn't he would be sent away from the only home he had ever known. And anger because he was trying his hardest and it wasn't making a difference. After the initiate tournament, Qui-Gon refused him. And due to a lie he was sent away two weeks early. Only because the Force willed it, Qui-Gon was on the same transport. Obi-Wan still tried to prove himself to Qui-Gon, yet the stubborn bastard kept refusing Obi-Wan. It was only when Obi-Wan offered to blow himself up so Qui-Gon could escape the Qui finally accepted him as a Padawan."

"Rather than being returned to the Temple after forming the new bond. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan went from mission to mission with very little rest between times. Then came Melida/Daan. I had been sent to negotiate, but was captured. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were sent to rescue me. Two fractions the Melida and the Daan had been fighting for generations, and a third group the Young, made up of children from both sides fought for peace. The Young helped Qui and Obi to find me. I was badly wounded and unconscious. If I had been awake I would have stopped Obi-Wan. Because for the first time Obi-Wan disagreed with Qui, and stood up for his position. Obi wanted to stay and help the Young, and Qui was more worried about me."

Tahl paused and discretely wiped a few tears away from her checks.

"Obi-Wan left the Order that day and Qui-Gon just left him there. A child, the child he was responsible for, a child that only wanted his acceptance, Qui just left him there to fend for himself. But then again Qui never gave Obi-Wan a reason to stay. All Obi-Wan wanted was his acceptance, to be told he was worthy to stand by Qui's side."

The image took a breath, "I was so angry when I found out what Qui had done. I was ready to go back to the planet and get Obi-Wan myself. But my injuries left me Temple bound, and by the time I was well Obi-Wan had returned to the Temple. The Council placed him on probation, and warned him if a Master did not step forward to claim him, he would be sent back to the Agri-Corps. Qui-Gon refused to take him back on, seeing Obi-Wan's choice as a betrayal and after his last Padawan's betrayal that was his last straw. Oh but the bastard had to rub salt into Obi-Wan's wounds."

"I had not chosen Brant as my Padawan yet, so she was still free to be chosen by any Master. Qui-Gon began to pay attention to her, acting like he was going to chose her to become his new Padawan. It crushed Obi-Wan, he wanted to be happy for his best friend, but couldn't help the jealousy of the actions. Events happened though, Qui's former Padawan invaded the Temple. Obi-Wan was forced to watch one of his crèche mates die, and then be held accountable for it during a trial. The only good that came out of it was Qui and Obi-Wan were forced to work together to stop Qui's former Padawan and Qui excepted Obi-Wan back as his Padawan."

Anakin and Ahsoka sat in shock. They couldn't believe what they had just heard. It was harder on Anakin, he had spent years wishing Qui-Gon had been around to train him. Often comparing how Qui-Gon would have understood and been more compassionate in situations, drawling on the memories of how nice Qui-Gon had been to him. Now he was questioning everything he ever thought of Qui-Gon. How could a man, let alone a Jedi Master be so cruel to his own Padawan. Anakin couldn't fathom just leaving Ahsoka on a war torn planet, especially so young. Sure he had thought of her as a liability when they first met, but he couldn't imagine just leaving her by herself to fight.

"I hope by telling you this, you will understand your Master better. He was a fine young man when I made this, and I can only imagine how he has grown. You have one of the finest Jedi as your Master and I hope this helps you appreciate him a bit more. Good-bye young Padawan."

Tahl's imagine disappeared and the holocron folded back into its original shape. Though Anakin made no move to set it back on the table. Jocasta silently stood and headed towards her kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a tumbler of amber liquid.

"Drink this Anakin," she said taking the holocron and replacing it with the brandy. Anakin did what he was told. The alcohol burning his throat and clearing his mind.

"That is all true, what she said?" he asked finally.

Jocasta nodded, "It is all true."

"I don't understand how Qui-Gon could do that."

"Tahl has given you a big piece of the story Anakin, but you do not know it all. Only Obi-Wan could tell you all the details I'm afraid. Even if you did gain access to the reports you seek, very little information would be new. I'm afraid the Council let Qui-Gon get away with quite a bit."

Anakin sighed, he knew then he probably would never get the full story. He couldn't understand how Obi-Wan could just keep all of this to himself. Though Anakin know understood why Obi-Wan rarely talked about his Padawan days.

"What happened to her?" asked Ahsoka. "Master Tahl?"

"She died when Obi-Wan was 15. A mission on New Apsolon, the Council didn't approve of the mission but Tahl went anyway. She was always like that, she never let anything stand in her way. Not even when she lost her sight did she let it get in her way. Even blind she still went on missions," Jocasta rambled before going back to the original question. "Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were sent to rescue her, they didn't make it in time," Jocasta said sadly. "She died in Qui-Gon's arms with Obi-Wan watching on. I think she knew she was going to die, she insisted I take that holocron before she left."

"Did Master Qui-Gon and Master Obi-Wan's relationship ever get any better?" asked Ahsoka.

"I'm afraid Tahl's death set them further apart. It was only in later years that they seemed to grow closer," Jocasta admitted. "Many in the Temple were concerned for them, a few were actually considering challenging Qui-Gon. I know Yan loved that boy, the few times they met face to face," Jocasta said with a small smile. "He could feel the greatness he could one day possess. But Qui-Gon seemed to come to his senses."

"Yan?" asked Anakin.

"Dooku. We were crèche mates together, and were close during out younger years," Jocasta said with sadness in her voice, and a hint of longing. "Qui-Gon and he had never been close but he did meet Obi-Wan a few times in his early teens. Though if Obi-Wan realized it was him or not I do not know."

Anakin and Ahsoka traded looks, Jocasta and Yan? That was something they hadn't expected to learn about today. In fact Anakin never thought of Dooku being close with anyone. Anakin could feel it in the Force that Madam Nu had loved Dooku, it was faint but still there. How could Dooku do that to the woman he loved, how could he turn to the Darkside and become a Sith while turning his back on everything he loved. Dooku killed Jedi and it didn't seem to faze him.

Anakin promised himself then and there he would never fall. He would not do to Padme what Dooku obviously did to Madam Nu.

I was not expecting this chapter to come out like this. But I had a burst of inspiration. Who is the one person who tries to protect us from ourselves...ding ding ding our Mothers, and who could be seen a Mother figure to Obi-Wan, Tahl. It was to good of an idea to pass up.
And can anyone else see the parallels between Dooku and Vader I did there? Lol. I secretly ship Dooku and Madam Nu and found the perfect place to put it.
Please let me know what you think. Next chapter I will be getting back to Obi-Wan and seeing how he is coping all alone.