'Why the hell am I even here, not like I'm gonna go to class anyway...' Stan sighed to himself as he walked out the back doors of the school and dragged his feet to his usual spot by the wall. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag from it before sitting on the blanket that laid on the ground, a layer separating him from the cold snow-covered pavement. Mindlessly he continued to smoke till the stick was nothing but a stub, then went to pull out another one but noticed that he was damn near out, and he needed them to last for the rest of the day as he didn't have any more packs and needed to get more. He let out a sigh as he shoved the almost empty pack in his pocket, he pulled his knees up to his chest and laid his head against them, he tried to clear his mind, make himself go numb as the cold mountain air bit into his skin. He didn't know how long he was out there, he just knew he didn't want to be there, or anywhere really.

His eyes were half-closed when he thought he heard the door open, but he paid no mind to it, as he wanted to slip into unconsciousness, but that didn't happen when he felt a hand grip his shoulder, he felt his heart quicken, who was that? What the hell did they want? Shit was it Cartman or one of his goons?

"You okay?"

His scrambling thoughts halted at the voice, slowly looking up, peeking out from behind his knees, there he saw the familiar redhead that had somehow wormed his way into his life. His eyes slightly narrowed at the sight, but he really didn't have the energy behind it so he just gave a shrug in response.

Kyle, yes he called him Kyle and not Kylie-B because it's a stupid nickname and it's just what he calls himself so why should he call him that, looked down at him with his sea-green eyes filled with concern. He sighed and then said, "Look, the others told me that today's a hard day for you and you don't wanna be home with your parents, but none of them can take ya in for the night."

Why the hell did they tell him that?

"...So if you want, you could come to my place for the night."

Stan felt his eyes widen a bit, an escape for the night. "R-really?"

He cringed at the sound of his voice cracking, but it didn't seem to have fazed Kyle at all, "Yeah, messaged my mom and she said she didn't mind, she also said she was gonna be out most of the night for some meeting, so we really wouldn't have to deal with her."

It felt like a weight was just lifted from his chest, "Thanks..."

"No problem. Now come on, let's get lunch."

Great..."I'm fine."

"Dude, you should eat."

"I'm not hun-" he was cut off when he felt his growl in protest, 'Damn it'

He glanced back up at the redhead who had an almost smug look on his face, "You were saying?"

"I said I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat."

"What part of I'm fine don't you get?"

Kyle sighed, "Alright, bridal or over the shoulder?"

"What?"

"Whichever one you pick is how I'm carrying you into that lunchroom kitten."

Stan's face warmed at the nickname and the thought of being carried by the taller teen, what the hell? "Like hell, you will!"

"Then come on."

He groaned but forced himself to stand, knowing he couldn't get out of it as his friends actually went to attend their classes today, so he allowed Kyle to lead the way. He wanted to curl up and hide when he entered the crowded room, he'd never ate in there, opting to either skip lunch in general or eat a small snack he packed that morning. He really didn't want to deal with this today.

After getting the food he forced himself to follow the redhead to a table with familiar faces, all he's known since he was young, but he hadn't talked to some of them in years. He swallowed and forced himself to sit next to Kyle at the end of the table, hoping that no one would talk to him. He picked at the food in front of him, keeping his eyes down on the tray only to hear a voice directed at him, "Never thought I'd see you in here Marsh."

He rolled his eyes as he stabbed his fork into one of the vegetables on the tray and took small bites from it, only to make a face of disgust at the taste. "Something wrong with the food?"

He glanced at Kyle next to him, trying to avoid any eye contact from the rest of the table, he let out a sigh and mumbled, "Tastes like shit, do they even know how to cook..."

Kyle just shrugged and said, "I literally don't expect much from cafeteria food," and he then took a bite from the charred looking meat from the tray. "It's better than my last school's anyway."

Stan grimaced at the sight, but sighed, "Nothing ever beat chef's food..."

Token placed his drink down and said, "Oh your not wrong there, the food's been garbage since he died."

"Who's Chef?"

The group looked at the redhead, "Chef was our old cook in elementary school, he was like the best adult in this town, before he joined some fucked up, fruity club."

"It's their fault he's gone, man, I miss his songs," Kenny sighed as he rested his chin on his hand.

"He literally sang about having sex with women Kenny."

Stan watched as Kyle's face morphed into confusion, "What the hell?"

The goth rolled his eyes as the people continued talking, he zoned out as he continued to pick at the disgusting food. Talking about Chef just brought his mood back down, he sighed, at least he wouldn't have to be here for much longer, and he didn't have to stay home tonight. Shit, he forgot his stuff at home, hopefully, Kyle wouldn't mind taking him to his place to pick up his stuff.

Stan met Kyle by his bike after classes let out, he shot out a message to his friends since they all had plans right after school, and let out a sigh when Kyle offered him his helmet again. He took it without a fight, which they were heading to his house so he can pick up his own helmet there when he gets his stuff.

After the 25 minute drive towards the farm area, way faster than taking the bus, they arrived at Tegerty Farms. Stan got off Kyle's bike and took off the helmet, handing it back to the redhead, "I'll be back."

He sighed as he entered the house, hoping Randy was out in the fields or just out of the house in general, he went to his room and grabbed his pre-made bag, he always had one in case he wanted to get out of the house quickly and snatched his flask from under his pillow. Swinging the bag over his shoulder he got his bike helmet Kyle gave him and made his way downstairs. Just as he was about to get to the door he heard someone behind him, "And where do you think you're going?"

Stan grounded his teeth together as he turned to face the person behind him, Randy stood there, his eyes red and his posture slacked, great not only was he stoned, he was drunk on top of it, "Doesn't matter to you."

"You should be out there, harvesting. The season's almost over."

He rolled his eyes, "I'm not doing your job, you're the one who wanted the stupid farm, so you take care of it."

"I'm your father and I said go out there and harvest now!"

"Oh, and what the fucking hell are you gonna do about it? Not like your much of a father!"

"Don't you take that tone with me! And you should be fucking grateful for the life I've provided. Why are you such a little bitch today!"

Stan's vision turned red, "You selfish asshole! It's grandpa's deathday!"

The teen saw the man roll his eyes in what looked to be annoyance, "It's been three years, get over it already."

"Get over it?! He was your fucking father!"

"Like I give a damn, not like he was a good one."

"Well, he sure as hell was being a better figure then you! He didn't drag his family to hell just because he was board like you, you dumbass!"

"I've sacrificed for this family! More then you know!"

"Sacrifice? You've done nothing but make our lives a living hell!"

"Just like how you're a fucking mistake!" Before Stan could process those words he felt a sharp pain well in his cheek as his head was jerked to the side. He just slapped him. Slowly he reached up and touched the burning skin only to wince at the contact, that bastard!

"Randy Marsh!"

He heard his mother scream, she sounded beyond pissed. He felt her eyes land on him for a moment, but heard her softly say, "Go on Stan."

Without looking back he quickly pulled the helmet on and ran outside, slamming the door behind him. As fast as he could he got on the bike behind Kyle, who was sitting there waiting for him now wearing his own helmet, and told him to drive, as he tightly wrapped his arms around Kyle's waist, feeling his eyes burn as he tried to keep any possible tears from flowing, he wasn't gonna let that bastard of a man make him feel this way. So without question, Kyle drove, the farm growing smaller the farther they drove. The ride was quite till they were about to reach the edge of town when he asked, sort of yell because of the noise if they could stop by the cemetery.

Kyle drove there and said he'd wait by the opening and give him space for whatever he was gonna do. Much to Stan's relief. He walked through the plot of land, passing many different gravestones with different dates, names, and designs, he marched slowly, hearing the snow crunch under him, till he made it to the one he wanted to see. 'Marvin Marsh'

"Hey grandpa..." he didn't remove his helmet so his voice sounded somewhat distorted, "Hope you're doing well in hell, things here...aren't much better since you left, but I hope you're happy," he dug into his pocket and pulled out his flask, "I don't know if you'll care for the gesture but here." He poured out flask's contents out over the dirt in front of the headstone till there was none, so Stan pocketed it and continued, "Miss you grandpa, All the time."

He turned around and walked back to the entrance feeling a hollow emptiness in his chest, a common occurrence whenever he visited the gravesite. He found Kyle waiting by the entrances, much like before, so getting on they drove down the couple blocks between them and Kyle's house, but he didn't remember much of the ride, his grip was much looser than the previous drive, and he thought for a moment he felt one of Kyle's hands grab a hold on his arm, but he wasn't sure.

When they arrived he was pulled into the house, his movements slow and sluggish, when they made it to Kyle's room he was sat on the bed while Kyle said he was going to go and get them something to drink. He let out a sigh as he finally removed his helmet, he felt his cheek that was slapped, it didn't burn as bad as before and it didn't cause him to flinch at the contact, so it probably wasn't that bad, so it shouldn't leave a mark. He clenched his hands into fists, he hated him so much! 'Stupid Randy, stupid farm, stupid life!'

Only to stiffen when he felt something brush against his hand. Glancing down he saw a massive black ball of fur rubbing against him. A cat. He stared at the ball of fluff before using his other hand to pet its long black fur, causing it to purr and rub against his hand. He blinked at it as it made its way to his lap, enjoying the attention. "Well, Beast sure took a liking to ya."

Looking up he saw Kyle standing in the doorway with drinks in hand with a slight smirk on his face. He walked in, closing the door behind him, and made his way to the bed, petting Beast's back when he took a seat. "Never took you for a cat person..."

"Many people say that," the cat then yawned and jumped out of Stan's lap and made its way to the computer chair, getting comfy before curling up and falling asleep. Kyle chucked at the action before handing the raven a bottle of pop and relaxing on the bed, but Stan remained upright, as silence filled the room, leaving the goth alone with his thoughts.

They were spiraling again, and now his bastard of a father took up a part of them, he didn't care what he thought, so why was he there? He didn't want his father to screw up his already shitty day, all today was about was his grandpa and Randy talking shit about him rubbed him the wrong way, he had no right when he was a shitty son to him. So why did his words pierce him every time they played in his head?

He felt his eyes burn as tears began to build, his shoulders shook as he tried to keep them back, he hated today and he hated how it made him feel. His thoughts then came to a hault when he felt Kyle's hands grab him and pull him up into his lap, "What?"

Kyle's arms wrapped around his body, holding him close to his chest, as the raven tried to squirm away, "What the hell are you doing?"

The redhead said nothing as he tightened his hold on him, and started to gently rock on the bed, Stan's face flushed as he continued to squirm, "I ain't a little kid! Stop!"

"No."

"Let me go you bastard!"

"Talk about it."

"What the fuck are you talking about?!"

Kyle didn't raise his voice, "It's not good to bottle it ya know. I know you and the others don't like to show your emotions except to maybe each other, but if your suffering," he pulled Stan even closer to his chest, "Then ya need to let it out. I swear I ain't gonna laugh if that's what ya think, and I won't say a word, but you need to get something off your chest."

"Why the fuck would I tell you?!"

"Because I'm here to listen."

Stan felt tears built up again, this time they actually started to overfill and slid down his face, why was he crying in front of this dumbass? He tried to hold back any sounds, but it was no use as sobs escaped, he just felt a flood of emotions pour out, he couldn't hold it back anymore, he gripped Kyle's shirt and buried his face in the crook of his neck, "I-I miss him, I m-miss him s-so much...i-it's been th-three years, but...I d-didn't want to say g-goodbye. A-and fucking Randy, s-saying shit, a-and j-just..." he gripped harder on the redhead, who didn't seem to mind, "...i-it fucking h-hurts...a-and I-I hate h-how it makes me f-feel a-and I j-just..." he trailed off into a sobbing fit. He listened to Kyle's heartbeat, it was so calming...it sounded nice.

His sobs soon dissolved into sniffling, his breathing ragged as he tried to collect his bearings, it was only then that he realized that he was now laying on top of the taller teen while he felt fingers brush through his hair, where the hell was his hat, but if he was being honest, it felt nice. "Do you feel any better?"

Stan didn't say anything as he thought he'd end up breaking down again, so he just shrugged and stayed put. He heard Kyle let out a quiet hum and continued to feel the redhead's fingers glide through his hair, his now dry tear-stained eyes felt heavy and he felt them start to droop to a close, he didn't fight it and fell asleep.

Poor baby boy! So what did you guys think?