Chapter 2: Dinner and A Show
((AN: HAPPY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LATE BIRTHDAY IGGY! (sorry i didn't get this chapter out on your b-day...11 days ago... yeah, day before Valentines. Funny.))
Temari had spent the several hours locked up in her room. Gaara waited in his own bedroom, next to hers, doing paperwork due the next day. Being Kazekage sucked... it was as bad as being an academy student, with all of this 'homework' he had to do. Not that he didn't have a lot of extra time on his hands. It's not as if he needed to sleep. He paused in his work, as if sensing impending danger.
"Gaaaara!" Temari said sweetly, opening the door to Gaara's room. The youngest brother shuddered at the sound of her voice. Could it be... Temari was the reincarnate of the devil?-! "Ah, you're normal! And by that, I mean notpsycho-mode!anyway, that's good! I made a list of the pros and cons of everyone who came!"
Temari pulled out a very short slip of paper from her pocket. One page, front and back, double-spaced and her big, loopy handwriting...
"It took you two hours to do this?" he asked his sister skeptically.
"It was a very long and difficult task," she said solemnly. "Now read."
Gaara looked down at the list of names on it.
Hyuga Hanabi (note to self: last resort only)
Pros
-She's a girl.
-Hyuga, cool white eyes
Cons
-She's younger, more likely to die after you.
-If you kill her, her family will hunt us all down.
-You're not a pedophile.
Hyuga Hinata
Pros
-Cute face
-Shy and probably won't try to run away
-Hyuga, cool white eyes
-Family won't care as much if she dies
Cons
-Stutters too much
-Kinda annoying
-Likes another guy
-The guy she likes is Naruto, who is your closest friend, despite having left without saying a thing to you a year or two ago... your only friend?
Tenten
Pros
-Cute outfits, cute face
Cons
-Disappears sporadically at random occasions
-No last name?
-No personality?
Haruno Sakura
Pros
-Cute face, nice figure
-Medic-nin (god knows, we need some of those in the family...)
-Smart
-Doesn't seem to mind demons?
Cons
-High forehead, though easily overlooked
-Naturally pink hair (will it run in the family?)
Yamanaka Ino
Pros
-Blond, confident
-Nice figure and hair
Cons
-Annoying
-Stuck up
-Rude
-Ditsy/Stupid
Hyuga Neji
Pros
-Pretty hair and eyes
-Hyuga prodigy
-Could look like a girl...
Cons
-A guy
-No kids
-End Sabaku line
-A guy
-Voted most likely to kill you in you sleep (of the girls/other guests) if you ever slept
-Is a guy
Gaara forced his eyes away from her list and looked up at his sister. "Are you crazy?"
"Well, it does seem to run in the family," Temari said. After all, their father stuck a demon in their mother, their mother went crazy from their father sticking a demon in their mother and died hating Gaara, and their mother's brother (their uncle) went crazy from their mother going crazy from their father sticking a demon and tried to kill Gaara, and Gaara went crazy from their uncle going crazy and trying to kill him because his sister (their mother) went crazy and died hating Gaara from their father being crazy, sticking a demon in the womb of their mother. It was all a tangled web. Maybe growing up with their younger brother made them crazy too? Hm... perhaps.
"Okay..." Gaara said, taking a deep breath. "I have already established to you that I am not interested in women... but I am even less interested in men. You know that. Why is Hyuga Neji on this list?"
"Oh, Neji's a last-last resort after Hanabi. They are only there in case you kill off all of the other girls."
Gaara glared at his sister. "Congratulations, you have just wasted two hours of your life."
"Thank you," Temari said. Gaara looked down the list and pocketed it. "Now... let's go do something!"
"Like what?"
"I don't know. I ran out of ideas once they arrived. Do you have any ideas?"
"No. This was your plan, and I don't even know what you're scheming."
"And I'm still not telling you," Temari said, giving him a 'Hah, I know something you don't know' look. He'd kill her if he could.
"We are so totally wasting our time here," Ino sighed, lounging on the couch.
"Then leave," Kankurou said, not looking up from his puppet magazines. Hm... a salamander-type puppet... He could install a few extra mechanisms of his own as well.
"But I don't wanna!" Ino whined. "Gaara's the guy she's trying to set up? Like, are you really really really sure?"
"Yes, now go away!" the puppeteer said, trying to think.
"I'm not sure what I'm thinking about this!" she said, ignoring the latter part of his comment. "I mean, Gaara's cute and all, but he's... scary."
"Then don't go out with him."
"Aw..."
"Well if you're going to be like that, then go out with him."
"But I don't want to die, he'll kill me in five seconds..."
"Then don't go out with him!"
"But he's cute with the red hair and the pretty green eyes..."
"Then go out-- augh, just shut up and go away!" Kankurou shouted, throwing a magazine at Ino.Ino jumped and landed on him like a rabid cat and whacked him repeatedly with the magazine."Ack! Hey...! Stop it. Stop it! That's annoying, you're annoying, quit it!"
"Try to do that again, puppet-boy, just try! I'll teach you to throw pieces of paper at me...!"
Sakura sighed. Thing had been going on like this for a while. "Well, I don't think Gaara's that bad," she commented.
"I-I-I-I h-h-h-heard h-he h-ha-hasn't k-killed anyone r-recently," Hinata said to Kankurou.
"Yeah, he hasn't really done anything like that recently, since he became Kazekage a few weeks back. Like, three weeks?"
"...KAZEKAGE?" almost everyone in the room repeated.
"You mean he's the new leader of Sunagakure?" Ino said excitedly.
"H-h-he b-beat N-Na-Naruto..." Hinata said, feeling a bit bad for Naruto. Then again, he and Gaara were almost friends. Maybe he wouldn't feel bad? Yes, Naruto was the type of person who would respect Gaara and be happy that Gaara had reached a goal similar to Naruto's.
"Wow..." Tenten said. The kazekage of the Sand! Then he must be, like, RICH! And if you're rich, you could import all of the weapons you want, no matter how rare! Or illegal! Neji glared at his teammate, who was currently lost in a daydream... swimming in a pool of kunai. And money.
"You're thinking with your wallet again, Tenten," he warned her.
"Huh? Oh, right..." she said.
Kankurou heard the girls' comments and groaned inside. They're staying! Aargh!
"Hello Kankurou and friends!" Temari said, running down the stairs with a kazekage in tow.
"Finally," Ino scoffed. "I was getting to wonder what you were doing upstairs.
"Oh, just making a small list of things," the Sand kunoichi said vaguely. "So uh... what are you guys doing?"
"Nothing," Sakura said. "We're just hanging around. Ino and Kankurou are fighting."
"Did you get your ass kicked by another girl?" Gaara asked his brother, who glared at the kazekage.
"No," Kankurou said, crossing his arms and looking in the other direction.
"Kankurou got beat up by a girl?" Sakura said. Kankurou glared at her. It wasn't as if he could do much in response to her comment... Sakura could beat him up too...
"Yeah," Temari said cheerfully. "Two and a half, actually."
Most of the people in the room sweatdropped. "...Two and a half?" Tenten repeated.
"Yeah..." Temari said with a thoughtful expression. "Well, stick around long enough, and you'll meet them. Let's go out and get some dinner or something. Gaara's treat!"
Gaara scowled. "I'm not going to pay for all of you idi..." They ran out before he could finish talking. "...ots..." he said lamely to himself.
"Too bad," Sakura said. "Are you coming?"
He frowned at her. She smiled. He glared. She smiled. He gave up. "If you guys are putting it on my tab, I might as well eat," he muttered. Sakura grinned.
"Kankurou! We're in public! Feet off the table!" Temari yelled as she and her brother argued at the buffet.
"Temari, we're in public!" Kankurou shouted back at her, imitating her sharp tone. "Cover your face!"
SMACK-FIGHT!
"Aaah!" Kankurou fell over when she poked his eyes. "Aaaaaaaah! My eye! My eyes! They're burning!"
"You wuss," she said.
"Does this happen a lot...?" Sakura asked Gaara.
"Yes, which is I usually don't eat out in public with them," he replied, moving to the edge of the table. Several girls behind him watched him with a strange gleam in their eyes. Gaara decided it was safer for him to move back to his siblings and the rest of the group. Girls. He shuddered.
Temari saw this and sighed. It was time... she'll have to wait until they get him and try to go through It as quickly as possible, to try and shorten the pain. 'Poor Gaara,' she thought. 'It's almost time...'
They were all fighting over their dinners (despite their being at a buffet) when Gaara felt a suppressed, eerie sensation. As if someone was running a cold finger down his spine (how he knew how it felt like when no one had the guts to do that, no one will ever know... including me). He felt an impending sense of ddom as a shadow loomed over him. Gaara turned around and almost screamed if he wasn't a kazekage with a reputation to uphold.
"Gaaaaaraaakichi!" a girl cried, jumping on his back and nearly knocking him over. Aaaah! The had red hair, green eyes, and dark circles around her...
Everyone stared at Gaara, the girl, and then Gaara again.
"You have two sisters?" Ino said. "I thought there were only three Sand siblings...?"
"We are not related," Gaara said stiffly, pointing a finger at the girl hanging on his neck. "I refuse to be related to something so..."
"Cheerful?" Temari suggested.
"Cute?" Kankurou added.
"Girly?"
"Normal?"
He glared at everyone at the table. "Shut up, you two."
"So um...who is this?" Sakura asked him.
"That's our little sister," another voice said. Two blonds, a boy and a girl, walked over to their table. The girl had long braided hair, wrapped around her neck like a noose,and the boy had shorter, layered hair. They boy had similar facial features and expressions and wore outfits similar to each others: a plain T-shirt (do they have T-shirts...?) and sand-colored khakis.
"Hello, Kazekage-sama," the girl said.
"This is Makoto Maruko," Temari said, "a new merchant in Sunagakure. Mariku's his twin, she's a jounin. Mikoto's the youngest of them, and she's still a genin."
"Uh, don't you mean her twin?" Sakura said.
"Huh?" Temari looked at Sakura blankly. Maruko, the girl with the long hair, shrugged and glanced at the people gathered at the table.
"Aw, no guys?" the girl said. The other twin got a strange look on his face and hid a smile behind his hand.
"What do you mean, no guys?" Kankurou said, looking all offended.
"Oh, I'm not talking about you, Kankurou-kun. Just looking at your friends."
"What do you mean, no guys?" Neji echoed Kankurou, looking even more so offended.
Maruko stared at Neji for a moment and laughed. "Oh, oops, thought you were...uh, nevermind," she said. "I just never thought I'd find someone so much like me..." she said airily with a grin.
"You and I are nothing alike. You're a blue-eyed blond, so you're probably annoying and stupid as well. I've got dark hair, white eyes, and I'm a genius."
Maruko smiled, leaning close to him. "You're a very pretty genius..." she said, quickly giving him a kiss on the lips. "...aren't you...?" she added in a deeper voice.
Neji froze, one pale eye twitching. There was a flash as the other twin took a snapshot of Neji's shock. Tenten twitched. But before she could kill Neji for kissing this strange 'woman', the Hyuga prodigy screamed like it was hell on earth.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Temari, Kankurou, and the Makoto siblings were laughing on the ground. Maruko looked at Temari with a pleased look on his face.
"What's wrong?" Tenten asked.
Gaara sighed. "Maruko's a guy."
"...WHAT?"
Maruko grinned. "Want some proof?" he asked Tenten with a smirk.
"NO!"
Neji was downing his drinks and washing his mouth out.
"Oh, don't gargle in public," Maruko said to Neji.
"Don't kiss me in public," Neji replied, glaring at Maruko, which activated his Byakugan. "Or in private. Or anywhere else."
"But you're so pretty," Maruko said. More veins... He laughed. "No worries, Hyuga-sama," he said, giving him a mock bow. "I've eyes only for my dear, dear Temari-san," he said, hugging Temari, only to get hit in the face. "...Who can be quite exciting to be around of course," he said, rubbing his nose as Temari glared at him. ((No, it's not TemariXOC...but there is a point of having this...guy.))
"How did you know who he was?" Tenten demanded.
"How many white-eyed shinobi do you see everyday?" Maruko asked them with a smile. "I'm not a shinobi, but I'm far smarter than either of my sisters. Of course, it doesn't take much to be so. No worries, Hyuga, I'm not interested in you."
"Then why in hell's name did you kiss me?" he asked Maruko angrily.
Maruko shrugged and pointed at his twin. Mariku grinned and waved, a camera in hand. "We've got a scrapbook."
One thing led to another, and the Makotos were now sitting at the already crowded table. Gaara sighed. What were these people doing here...?-! It seemed these idiots were multiplying and spreading everywhere. Must... escape...!
After dinner, he decided, glancing at a certain person down the table.
"Hey, Hyuga," Kankurou said, "Give me my drink."
"Get it yourself, I'm not your servant."
"Of course not, you're the Main House's servant."
"...You want to run that one by me again?"
"No," Kankurou said truthfully, shaking his head. "Not really. Hyugag-girl, you hand me my drink."
Hinata reached over when another voice told her not to. No, it wasn't some voice in her head...
"Hinata, do not lower yourself to that level," Neji said coolly.
"Yeah, you show 'em!" Hanabi piped up. "The Main House listens to no one!"
"...I-I-I-If I-I get th-the drink for K-K-K-Kankurou, I'll be l-l-listening t-to K-K-Kankurou..." Hinata said thoughtfully. "B-b-but if I d-don't get th-th-the d-dr-drink, I'll b-b-be l-l-l-listening to you, N-N-Neji-kun."
"...That's true," Hanabi said.
But the dilemma was solved when Tenten reached out and took the drink herself. Not for Kankurou. She drank it. Kankurou frowned.
"That's not enough to stop me," Kankurou said haughtily, grabbing for the drink, which Tenten hadn't had enough time to finish it. She pulled it back out of his reach, spilling a bit of the water over the side. This time, she licked the rim.
"Giiiive iiiit," he said, still not dismayed by her actions. He still wanted to drink that?
Tenten gave it to Neji, who drank it as well.
"Okay, now that's just unfair," Kankurou muttered. He gave up and grabbed for another drink. Tenten grinned and took those too.
"Hey! You don't need that much water!" he growled as she took the three remaining cups and backed away.
"Oh, but I'm so parched!" Tenten said, holding the back of her hand to her forehead, looking faint. "This is my first time in the desert, and I need the water soooo much!"
"No you don't you liar!" Kankurou said. He ran straight at Tenten, meaning to take a glass of water from her when she turned to the side and tripped him. Flailing wildly, he grabbed the first thing he could hold on to. Neji's eyes widened and twitched when he saw Kankurou... grabbing Tenten.
"Uh...oops?" Kankurou said. He had that familiar feeling again... the one he experienced to much when he was on the same team with Gaara. The one that told him that he was going to die.
"Ten years of pain!" Tenten cried, kicking him in the nads.
"Juuken!"
Together, Neji and Tenten proceeded to beating the crap of out the puppet user.Gaara sighed. He was surrounded by idiots!
Sakura laughed at that. "It almost seems unfair, double-teaming on your brother."
"If he can't handle two Leaf shinobi, then he doesn't deserve to be a jounin, let alone my brother," he muttered.
"Well Neji's a jounin too," Sakura said. "And Tenten's one of the best kunoichi in the Leaf."
'Who got beat up by my sister who didn't so much as break a sweat...' Gaara added silently, not really feeling like talking back. "Are they going out?" he asked her.
"Who?"
"Neji and Tenten."
"Are you jealous?"
"No. Neji's a guy, no matter how bishified he is."
"Of Tenten, I mean."
"Oh... No, I'm not."
"Well why not?" Sakura asked him.
"One, she's not really that strong. Two, she has no personality to speak of."
"Well, she has a personality..." she said, sweatdropping. "She just...doesn't stick around long enough for anyone to figure out just what kind of 'personality' she has."
"She's 'sporadic' (1)."
Sakura smiled. "True. Very random. You don't like random girls?"
"They're too weird. Anyway, you can't really say Tenten's the strongest kunoichi in the Leaf anymore, with everyone getting stronger the way you are."
"Wow, was that a compliment?"
"Of course not," Gaara retorted. "I don't compliment people."
"Ah. Well good because that would be totally out of character for you," Sakura said. Sure, Gaara would never compliment her, but at least she knew a few things about him. One: he liked strong girls. Two: he liked personality. She smiled.
Gaara and Sakura (as well as everyone else in the restuarant) watched Tenten and Neji double-teamed the poor puppetmaster.
(1) While Tenten can mean heaven or sky or something like that, it also means 'sporadic', which really fits her since her appearances are really random and she's hardly a main character.
My Thinking Corner
Okay, okay, I am updating as slow as hell. Sorry? I changed my mind about something that you'll never know about, so it doesn't really matter whether I tell you about it now or not anyway.
I got hit in the head by a textbook recently... All of a sudden, I think my brain was fixed. (Or screwed up in other ways as well, but let's not get into that...) Why? Because I now have several other ideas regarding new fics and old plans. The list Temari made for Gaara was based on another person's fiction. Yes, it was a fiction about setting up Gaara, but... I can't remember what it's called. Sorry, Writer-Whose-Fiction-I-Cannot-Find-Therefore-Cannot-Cite... T-T
Anyway, I was expected a review or two, but I didn't expect fourteen of them! Thanks! (dances like nobody's watching... and nobody is.)
Sorry about the slow updates. My computer at him is crapped up so I'm stuck using library computers in which, if I am caught here, I shall be banned from the library. Yeah... mean people T-T.
BloodHeron: Neji's worst nightmare is probably having to join them in their 'cool guy' pose, which he actually ended up doing in my other fic. Poor Neji... T-T Anyway... a lecture for Gaarakichi, eh? Oooh yeah...He's going to go through hell...scarred for life... Are you happy now, you evil evil person?
sakura13pisces: I'm trying to keep it all equal later until they start getting rid of the useless girls he has no interest in girls. There'll be more of her, I suppose. I was actually just planning on bringing in girls to annoy the hell out of Gaarakichi and then end up not pairing him with anyone at all, but just think of all the flames I'd get!
Twistedmemories: (stars in my eyes) Yaaaay! Thanks!
masaki1: Don't worries, I'm writing and thinking as fast as I can.
another spazz case: Thanks, I'll try to keep it as funny as possible then!
Me: (nice penname...XD) I know, I know, Gaara may end up single forever, the way Kishimoto writes Naruto... which is why I'm doing this! I don't really like a lot of Cannon Char. X OC pairings, so I usually try to use original characters more unless I have to.
pixiegirl100: ... I can sooo imagine Neji beating the hell out of Kankurou. Poor puppet guy... I like him too. May he rest in peace... (laughs evilly) Hehehehehe...
ladyaymie: Well what other characters are there? I only meant to bring in the girls for Gaara in the first place, but then, I was like, 'Bring Neji! He's halfway there!' I mean, the only guy girlier than Neji is HAKU. I like Haku, but I hate bringing him back to life. Weird... Of course, I can't bring in Naruto since he's on a training thing, and Sasuke because he's AWOL. Shikamaru's going to end up coming... But who else? I don't know who to bring then, so if you have any suggestions, feel free to help me out and give me a few names/people to add to the fic and I'll try to find an excuse to stick them in here then.
TemariKolulu: (salutes) Hai! Updating ASAP!
Stardancer: Yaay, another chap!
Zero-vision: Hehe, I'd tell you, but it almost ounds as if you already know!
Brokenbird: There you go! And I'll update the next one soon too! (Hopefully)
XxRevengexX: It's hard to see someone with your pen name have watery eyes, but okay!
Sabaku no Hana: Yeah, you know Neji makes an awesome stalker, with his Byakugan and all!