Project mayhem

The great Maximus Rahl was walking down the corridor of her European palace when she reached the grand double doors that lead to where she would be meeting her acquaintances Link and Zelda.

It had been month's since she had last seen them. She had recently taken over the mushroom kingdom and had started her quest to rule Europe. So far, she had Germany, Russia, Greece and her new addition, the united kingdom under her control.

Her guards opened the doors and she stepped in. they saluted her when she walked by.

Maximus Rahl had platinum blonde hair and silver eyes with no pupils. She was 14 years old and 6 feet tall. She was nearly perfect like Darken Rahl, the ruler of D'Hara her home land. He raised her from the time that she was able to chase cuckoos the local bird until recently when he was killed and skinned by a warlock named Ganondorf. He had groomed her to be his prodigy of abnormality and she learned like a professional.

When she stepped in she saw lick, Zelda, and someone else along with some kings and queens of Europe. She recognized the other person as her enemy Tyson the prince of Calatia.

"YOU! What are you doing here! This is my palace! I stole, stabbed and beat up the queen of England for this place! Get out! Why are you here for Calatia?" Maximus yelled at Tyson.

"I'm here because my dad sent me. He wants me to be the ambassador you fag. …God … idiot." Tyson sighed.

Tyson was older but not as tall as Maximus. He had black hair and eyes and a gigantic afro and a mustache. Tyson had average muscle size and was 18 years old even though he look like he was 30.

"I know what I have to do to get rid of you." Maximus said. She pushed her cape back and revealed six poke balls. She grabbed the one to her right and pressed the center to enlarge it.

Tyson also had poke balls. He took out one of his. " you dare to challenge me prince Tyson the cool? Bring it on." Tyson yelled.

Link knew he had to stop this before something screwed up happened. "since when do you to know each other?" he asked.

"since this prick thought he was so cool." Maximus told him.

Zelda spoke up. "that doesn't explain how you two know each other."

"I've known this sci-fi reject since she was eight years old. My dad, the king of Calatia sent me to D'Hara to train to be the ambassador and when she left there, t had to the ambassador for this knew place … England … or whatever it's called." Tyson explained.

"I'm changing the name to Rahlland … BECAUSE it's a pretty cool name and only someone as cool as the Great Maximus Rahl could come up with it." Maximus said.

"You mean someone as dumb as the great Maximus Rahl could come up with it." Tyson taunted.

Maximus began to talk like Vegeta.

"Yeah, nice come back but YOU … have gone too far … and NOW! YOU SHALL SUFFER the CONSEQUENCES … that I, … THE GREAT Maximus Rahl have made incase I ever saw YOU … around MY palace … you fag … I THE GREAT Maximus RAHL… CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE!"

The other people in the room were freaking out. 'Oh my' and 'dear' were heard frequently now. None of the other people in the room knew what she meant by battle, but they guessed that it had something to do with pokemon.

"I, Prince Tyson the cool of Calatia, accept your challenge. I accept it because I'm a prince and an attractive on at the that."

Maximus released a Typhlosion and Tyson released his Venonat. A servant came in and asked everyone if they would care for a drink. Link and Zelda ordered milk. The servant returned seconds later with everyone's requests.

Tyson began to prepare for the battle, meanwhile Maximus walked over to Link and Zelda.

"I see your drinking 2. … is it because you think your fat? Well, your not. You could be drinking whole milk if you wanted."

"can I buy some pot from you?" Zelda asked.

"Amsterdam or Columbian?"

" … I'm not gonna even answer that." Zelda told her.

Maximus got ready for the battle. She gave her Typhlosion instructions on how to defeat Venonat. When the battle began, Typhlosion used a flame wheel and instantly killed the Venonat.

"I, the Great Maximus Rahl , have won. I shall now take one of your pokemon as a reward for having won against… Afro Thunder." Most of the people in the room were completely freaked out by now.

"The only pokemon that I Tyson the cool have with me are Abra and the cutest pokemon Pikachu."

"PIKACHU IS NOT THE CUTEST POKEMON! THE POKEMON IS TEDDIURSA! …I will take your Abra." She took the poke ball and they took their seats.

One of the people in the room stood up and spoke.

"now that the interruption is over, we can begin our conference. A wizard named Shitsuya has been killing diplomats all over Europe. He was last seen at 2 Hyde Park Square 10 minutes ago. We have code named this mission 'project mayhem'."

"We decided that we need someone cruel and unusual for this mission, so we chose you two." Zelda said nodding towards Maximus and Tyson.

"Well then you've picked the right person," Tyson leaned towards Zelda. "Hey why don't you ditch the loser and hook up with me, Prince Tyson the cool."

"I don't think so." Zelda told him.

"ay! You get away from her! She's my friend!" link yelled.

"I don't see your name on her did you mark her as your territory?" Tyson asked.

Maximus licked Zelda's arm. " there deal with it. Heh heh heh"

Everyone in the room responded with an 'ewwwwww'

"you two belong together!" Zelda said in disgust.

Link laughed so hard that he almost cried. "you ever seen a more perfect couple Zelda? Think about it. They're alike in almost every way. Hey we should get going."

When they arrived that evening Maximus bought a water pistol and a super-soaker. They saw Shitsuya beating up Tony Blair with a scone. When he saw them, he let the prime minister go and came towards them.

He had orange eyes and green hair. He was a giant. Maximus squirted Shitsuya with the super-soaker. He tried to attack Zelda but he stopped dead in his tracks. Everyone knew what had happened. Maximus used her magic to temporally paralyze Shitsuya. She put away her super-soaker and got out her water pistol.

She walked up to Shitsuya and began to pistol whip him with the water gun.

She started to talk to him while she was pistol whipping him. "What's my name?"

"snoop doggy dog!" he answered.

"It's the GREAT Maximus Rahl! Get it right! NOW WHAT'S MY NAME?"

"the great Maximus Rahl!" he cried.

"GOOD! And I'm rollin' on WHAT? "

"On dubs!" Maximus hit Shitsuya 10 times harder.

"On WHAT?"

"On 24's!" he said with tears in his eyes. Link and Zelda were amazed at what Maximus Rahl could do with a water pistol. Maximus told Tyson that it was his turn to get a hit in. before he started, Shitsuya yelled.

"Wait! Maximus , I am your father."

"darken Rahl is my dad! But he died so now Vegeta is my dad." Maximus told.

"no he's not. He kidnapped you from your mother and me. But we can go home to the ranch now. I'll even forget that you pistol whipped me." Shitsuya said.

"… Gay dad, … I can't go. I have to take over the world, then I have to rule the galaxy. … the milky way galaxy. …then the WORLD WILL HAVE TO BOW BEFORE BECAUSE I AM … THE GREAT Maximus Rahl! THE MASTER SLASH MISTRESS OF THE D'Hara AND SOON TO BE THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! …Come back when I'm 15. … I should be done by then.."

Tyson wanted to beat up Shitsuya but Maximus told him that she'd lick everything that he owned if he touch Shitsuya.

Everyone got ready to leave and everyone said goodbye except for Maximus who said, 'Sayonara Ritz crackers … you peanut butter and jelly fags!"

When everyone was gone, Maximus took out a sheet of paper and a pen. She scratched something out and said. "Next Africa and then Asia. Yes…yes…"