Living on Borrowed Time

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Author's note: Prepare for a shock ;)

Chapter 9 – Life in a Box

"First Lieutenant Havoc, I'd like you to clean out Lieutenant Hawkeye's old desk." The words echoed in Havoc's head as he tentatively reached for the knob on the first drawer of Hawkeye's desk. His stomach felt like hundreds of insects were eating it from the inside out. All day yesterday and today he'd avoided looking over to Hawkeye's usual spot. The thought of not seeing her hunched over her paperwork, the thought of her not scolding Mustang for being lazy, just the thought that she would never be there again…it scared him. Hawkeye and he had never been the best of friends; far from it. In all actuality, he'd always thought she was rather scary. Though sometimes, he would catch her staring at Mustang in a sweet sort of way. It was moments like those he felt like he was watching a child sleep, she was so peaceful. He'd long suspected she may have had feelings for their commanding officer, but the actual thought of the two together seemed completely ridiculous, especially when they started fighting. Though there were times in Havoc's memory that he'd often felt like the third wheel with them. The two had shared something special that he could never quite grasp.

Her desk was fairly neat, the same way she'd left it on Monday. A few things to be signed were lying on her desk and there were a few papers in the drawers. He collected them all and put them in a box. Gently he picked up a paper weight that the unit had given her for her for her last birthday, it was a small bronze figurine of a dog scratching behind it's ear. Havoc smiled sadly at it. Their unit had all panicked when her birthday began approaching. 'What should we get her?', 'Should we get her anything?', 'Would she shoot us if we got her something?', and the less likely 'Would she shoot us if we didn't get her anything?' Once they decided that they should get her something, none of them could decide what to get her. The paperweight had been Fuery's idea, though Mustang and Havoc had really wanted to get her a mini skirt just to see her reaction to the gag gift.

He sighed heavily at the trinket and put it in the box with her other possessions. 'Last drawer', he thought to himself as he sat in her chair and bent down to open the bottom drawer. He'd felt momentary relief at the thought of finally getting to finish this project, but after he opened the drawer he felt he just unleashed a Pandora's Box.

Beneath a manila folder was a small collection of personal items. A few pictures of people he could only assume to be her parents; a picture of a yellow haired child and General Grumman, there was even a picture of their unit. The one that struck him the most was a picture of Roy, it was much younger Roy, giving the camera his trademark smirk and holding out his State Alchemist's pocket watch. Havoc felt like he'd dived into Hawkeye's personal life. It was one thing to work with her, but somehow having a life of her own…having people she loved, it just felt so wrong to him. It wasn't that he'd never suspected that she had a family, he felt wrong for never having thought more about her. He'd spent the better part of three years working less than twenty feet away from her and he didn't even know that her father was the man that invented the Axel Clip. 'So many things left unsaid, so many questions left unasked.' He thought sadly as he tenderly laid her photos into the box. He looked back to close the drawer, but saw there was one last slip of paper in the bottom. It wasn't a photo, but a letter. Havoc studied Hawkeye's gentle slanted handwriting with complete and utter shock.

Dear Colonel Mustang,

I've decided to resign from the military. I'm sure this must be a shock. I'm afraid I cannot continue serving under your command. I've thought long and hard about this decision and I believe it is the right one. My resignation isn't anything personal against you or anyone else of our unit. It is a personal matter that I must deal with myself. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise, but there comes a time in everyone's life when they realize that the road they've chosen isn't leading to where they want to go. This is my time, I'm sorry I can't follow you any longer.

Sincerely,

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye

Sorry for all the reposting, there were some issues in Ch5 I had to fix. Oh and as for this chapter, I'll explain everything soon ;)