Living on Borrowed Time
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Chapter 10 – Angel
The rest of Thursday and Friday passed by quickly as Mustang went about running strange errands and making arrangements for Hawkeye's funeral. The two comrades slipped easily into a bizarre sense of normalcy. Hawkeye hovered closely behind Mustang as he went about his activities. Occasionally they talked, but the conversations often lulled and became a comfortable silence. It was interesting it never really felt like silence to Mustang. Living with Hawkeye was like living with someone that knew him better than he knew himself. It was heaven. There were several instances that she would practically read his mind. She knew what he thought before he thought it.
Hawkeye seemed different since she died. She smiled more, used his first name a little more. She appeared to be more comfortable with him than she had been before, as if a great wall between them had suddenly been knocked down. Mustang casually wondered if the wall could have been his rank. An overwhelming sadness washed over him, what would have happened between them if she'd been so relaxed when she was alive?
Hawkeye was having the time of her afterlife. Finally she was able to see Mustang for everything he was…and everything he wasn't. It only made her admire him all the more. Seeing him in his home environment exemplified his usual quirks and mannerisms. She smiled at him living on his own. Washing his clothes in a sloppy haphazard manner, dropping food on the floor and leaving Black Hayate to clean it up…he was a bachelor that was certain. Hawkeye's heart ached to feel her in his arms again. Those last few moments of her life had passed too quickly and she would give anything to just be there for a few moments more. Other than her intangibility it was perfect…almost like playing house. Hawkeye caught herself calling him 'Roy' more and more. Her secrets had been revealed to him and now she couldn't help but feel so light.
Havoc had told Roy not to come in until after the funeral on Monday so most of the weekend he spent with his nose stuck in a an alchemy book. Hawkeye wasn't quite sure what he was doing, but whatever it was it made her soul feel itchy
It was Saturday, and Roy was actively studying some old journal he'd pulled out from underneath a floorboard in his apartment. He'd been staring at the same page for nearly two hours and Hawkeye was beginning to wonder how much longer it would be before he stared his eyes right out of his head. She'd so rarely seen him so diligently working on something. She stared at the delicate curve of his face, so pensive…she wanted so badly to caress it's edge like she had those last few moments of her life.
Roy had been staring at that one spot on the page for nearly two hours and the alchemic array was burned in his mind. After about the first hour he became aware of how quiet Hawkeye had been. He knew she was still there, he could feel her. It was a strange feeling, but he knew she was still there, floating just a few feet behind his head. It was just after the first hour that his thoughts began to wonder about her. What was it like? The question had nagged him for the better part of an hour and finally he couldn't hold it in any longer. "What's it like to die?"
His voice broke the silence and Hawkeye was jarred out of her improper reverie. "What'd you say?"
He was slightly afraid she'd take offence to the question, but as she made her way around the chair to face him he realized she really just hadn't heard him. "I asked, what's it like to die?"
Hawkeye thought for a moment and then crouched on the floor next to Mustang's feet. Staring up to his face with her most honest and sincere expression she said, "It was the most pleasant experience of my life."
Her answer surprised Roy so much his mouth almost fell open. "What do you mean? How could something like that possibly been 'pleasant'?"
Had Hawkeye still had blood, it would have rushed to her cheeks. "It hurt at first…when I was shot, but after a little while, the hurting just slowly stopped." She began, her memories taking over her body like they had a few days before, "I was lying on the steps waiting to die…I could feel the blood just slowly draining away. Then, suddenly, there you were, the rain was hitting your head so hard it bounced off and made this halo effect…you looked like a soaking wet angel." Her expression had become dreamy and Roy felt that she didn't really remember he was still there. She continued, "And for the first time you held me in your arms…you were so warm…It was all I could have ever asked for. You held me and told me that you'd never leave."
Roy's throat tightened as she described her last moments. He couldn't believe what she was saying…it couldn't be true. Those words she'd whispered to him that day on the steps, they couldn't be true. "I'm no one's angel." He replied, bringing her back to the present. Silently he closed his book and went toward his room. The tug of the invisible leash brought Riza to her feet. Solemnly she thought, 'You were an angel to me.'
Just in case a few of you were confused, during the last chapter it was just a random superior officer that ask Havoc to clean out her desk. Roy hasn't been back to work since Riza died.