"Leave." He stated, as he quickly put at least ten feet of distance between them.
As tears continued streaming down her face her pleading continued with a stuttered statement.
"God…no, please, I love you…" And a much quieter whisper, "Jack, Jack, I love you Jack."
"Don't call me that! You have no right to call me that. Walk out that door right now Carter. NOW!"
She was shocked into silence, but her body refused to move but in one direction. As she slid down the wall and the world became a blurred mess with her tears, she realized that she couldn't leave if she wanted to. There was no way; she knew if she walked out that door it would be over. Gone. He'd never come back to her, if he ever could at all.
His loud tone didn't lessen, but through the raised voice there was also a hint of desperation.
"Don't you get it Carter? Don't you see? I can't handle this… us. It would never work."
Her head shot up as she quickly started to protest, "No, it would, we'd make it work."
"No Carter, it wouldn't. Don't you understand how much power you have over me? You almost getting married took me to a place I'd only been once in my life. A place I never wanted to go again and you took me there. I loved you and trusted you, and you led me back to the darkness. What would I do if you decided to leave? What would happen to me? For crying out loud Carter! You didn't even stop the wedding! If Cassie hadn't broken down would you have gone through with it? Would you have?"
Knowing he'd know if she lied a whispered "Yes" was the reply he received.
His tone softer he continued, "You see Carter? I can't let you have this control, this power. I can't live the way I have been the last five months… and you?"
His voice suddenly strong and angry beyond anything she could have imagined, "HOW DARE YOU! How dare you think that you can come back here after all this and expect anything of me! You say you love me but they're just words Carter, just words. Of all the jargon that has ever come out of your mouth, those words are the ones I don't understand. Your actions speak volumes and you think a whispered declaration because you're alone again is going to fix it? You're smarter than that, Carter. Now leave, before I let my anger get the best of me."
Standing up to face him her frustration at his dismissal manifested itself in a response.
"Is that a threat, Jack?"
Before he could protest her use of his name again she continued.
"Are you going try and hit me too? Go ahead, bring it on, I can handle anything you throw at me! The only thing I couldn't handle is you giving up on me… on us." Lowering her voice she continued, "I did that, and it was the worst mistake of my life, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you don't repeat my mistake. I love you. If you don't believe me, let me show you. Please, Jack. Don't let me go, love me, please."
When she finally got the nerve to look him in the eye again she could tell he wasn't there. There was a hollowness to his eyes the belied the fact that he was lost in a memory.
She approached him hesitantly and as he looked down at her standing about a foot away, he said the strangest thing. Merely a whisper, but clear none the less.
"The C4 is going to blow. You've got to get out of here."
Suddenly she knew where he was. He was on that ship so long ago, and there was a force-field between them.
"So do you." was her whispered reply.
Then, slowly, hesitantly she reached her hand up and keeping eye contact placed it on his chest over his heart. His frantic heart beat would have worried her, but his next actions frightened her more than anything.
He broke.
Jack O'Neill broke.
Directly in front of her he was suddenly back in the bedroom staring at her, gripping her shoulders as he slumped towards the ground, his legs no longer holding him up. Tears were once again streaking down his face as he whispered through hurried breaths, "Oh, God…Carter—don't hurt me anymore, please don't. I love you, I can't handle this, no, no, no, I can't live without you but please, please…don't hurt me anymore, please don't hurt me…"
She sank to the floor with him and answered his desperate pleas with kisses all over his face, when their lips finally met it was different than before. More desperation, more love, and somehow more passion broke free and they were all over each other.
Literally, metaphorically, Sam didn't care how, she just wanted Jack O'Neill.
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A/N Ok, here's another chapter, do you think it's too out of character for Jack? I mean, we don't ever get to see the vulnerable side of him really, and I think of anyone, Sam would be the one who could evoke that.
Now, I have to read for my doctoral class tomorrow which I haven't been able to read for cause this was rolling around in my head. I think it's at a good position to end the story, but I'll leave it up to popular demand—for what is entertainment if not for the masses? Let me know.