Author's Note: Please excuse Steve-0 from gym class today. He is suffering from lower back pain after the football team stuffed him in a locker yesterday

Signed

Steve-0's Mom

Reference Note: Nicholas Brendon (Xander.) did a B-movie called Demon Island or something dumb like that where he fought off a killer piñata. True story!

Author's Note: You like me! You really like me! I was so glad that people gave me good reviews for that piece of crap that I'm writing the next chapter of that same piece of crap! So without further ado...

Buffy the Cliché Slayer

Chapter 1

"Once More without Feeling."

A portal of dazzling blue light, that was reminiscent but distinctly different from that which could be seen on that show Sliders (But legally different enough that it didn't infringe copyright laws) opened up in the sky above The Magic Box.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Thunk

Buffy, Giles, Willow, Xander, Spike, and Anya fell from the portal and landed in a disheveled hump.

"Ouch, Do I get frequent flyer miles for this?" Buffy groaned.

"Is everyone all right?" Giles asked.

"I think so. A little sore, but basically in one piece." Willow stated.

"Oh my God! I can't feel my leg!" Xander cried as he pinched and punched a black-panted thigh.

"That's my leg you stupid git! Get off me!" Spike yelled turning over knocking Xander off of on top of him. Everyone slowly got up, and dusted themselves off.

"Where are we?" Anya asked.

"It looks just like we never left The Magic Box." Willow noted.

"Maybe we didn't. Maybe this was all a dream. Maybe we were all at the Magic Box at the same time and we all fell asleep at the same time, on top of each other mind you, and then we all woke up at the same time from having the same dream." Xander explained.

"That's impossible." Buffy said

"Why's that?"

"Because Anya and Spike are dead." Buffy said.

"I'm not dead, well technically I am dead, but not dead, dead." Spike said

"You're not?"

"No, when I read in a magazine that you were leaving the show and it was getting the old heave-ho. I signed a contract with the WB. At least Angel knows better than to commit career suicide." Spike explained.

"I had my reasons. I wanted to pursue a movie career." Buffy retorted.

"Oh great move there. What have you been in since Scooby-Doo?" Xander asked.

"Oh like you have room to talk piñata-boy."

"At least it wasn't Simply Resistible."

"Xander's right, Buffy, you peaked at Cruel Intentions." Anya stated.

"Stay out of this, Darkness Flops." Buffy and Xander yelled.

"Look lets face it. None of us has had a very successful movie career." Spike said.

"Um...hello? American Pie? Biggest teen sex-comedy since Porky's?" Willow said as she raised her hand.

"Yes, and I was Frankenfurter in the Rocky Horror Picture Show."

"The movie?" Buffy asked.

"Well, no, on the London Stage..." Everyone made a "Feh" motion with their hands and turned their backs to him. "I think we're all losing sight on what we are suppose to be focusing on here, and that where we are and how to get back." Giles said.

"Yes I so want to get back to being dead." Anya said dryly.

"Huh, that's funny." Willow said perplexed as she left the crowd and made her way across the room.

"What is it Will?" Buffy asked.

"I never noticed that bookshelf there before." She said pointing to a large bookshelf across the room that glowed with an unholy light. The gang moved cautiously towards it. It was filled with different colored books with an odd array of titles.

"That's it! The answer to our freedom must lie here in these books." Giles said.

"How do you know that?" Buffy asked.

"Because this isn't an ordinary bookshelf. It's really what they call a plot device. Something, usually extremely predictable, that writers use that has no other function but to get the story moving." Giles explained.

"Ok, then we should get reading then." Willow said. "I'll take this one. It's entitled Slash. See?" She said as she held up the book. "I wonder if it has anything to do with Guns and Roses."

Xander took out another book. "Next Generation? Must be about Star Trek. I guess as the elected geek of our group I should read this one." One by one each of our heroes took a book from the shelf.

"AU? Must be a college somewhere." Buffy pondered.

"WAFF? This book must be about those pale, thin girls. Sounds like my cup of tea." Spike said

"I believe you're thinking of a waif, Spike." Giles informed.

"Yeah, that's what I said WAFF."

Ugh, never mind. Oh here's one that looks promising 'X-over'." Giles said.

Anya stared at the shelf. "Hmm, I can't decide if I want 'Mary-Sue' or 'Angst' Hmm...Now I what know Angst is..."

"Yeah 6th season." Xander interrupted.

"So I'll take Mary-Sue."

"Ok on the count of three open you're books." Giles instructed.

"Why count to three?" Anya asked.

"I don't know the author made me say that for story's sake...1...2...3!" As each of them opened a book, they were each sucked into that book from which they opened. The Magic Box was now empty, except for the six books lying on the floor.

Meanwhile...Back at The Magic Box outside the 8-ball.

YES, EVERYTHING IS GOING TO PLAN.

Steve-0 said as he stared deep into a crystal orb.

"What are you doing?" Fat Angel asked.

I'M WATCHING YOUR FRIEND'S PLIGHT THROUGH THIS MAGIC CRYSTAL BALL I FOUND IN THE SHOP.

"Um...that's not a magic crystal ball. That's a lawn ornament from Wal-Mart. Giles bought it last night for his townhouse.

OH. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST CLOUDY.

"Hey, didn't you say in the prologue, that the Magic Box was sucked into the 8-ball, and that all that was left was a vast white void."

NO.

"Yes you did! I read it!"

UM...THAT WAS A DREEEAAAMMM...Steve-0 said in a spooky ghost voice and waved his hands in front of Angel.

"Fine, whatever." There was a slight pause.

"Hey, what am I doing here anyway? I thought you said we'd only be in the Prologue, and that's it."

YEAH WELL, I READ MY REVIEWS FOR THE STORY AND THE PEOPLE SEEMED TO REALLY LIKE YOU, AND I'M A GOOD REVIEWS WHORE, SO I BROUGHT YOU BACK FOR THE FIRST CHAPTER.

"You're really that shallow and vain?" Angel asked reaching into his pocket for a cupcake.

OF COURSE I AM. ISN'T THAT RIGHT HARMONY, LINDSEY, FRED, AND DRUSILLA.

Fred, Harmony, Lindsey, and Drusilla appeared, nodded and disappeared again.

AH, IT GOOD TO BE THE FANFIC WRITER.

Steve-0 said as he propped his feet on the table and leaned back in his chair.

To Be Continued...You know provided I don't die or anything like that between now and my next update...