Chapter 18 - And a Happy New Year's

"Please may I come to the party tonight?"

Tony didn't even look up from the schematics on his computer screen. "You're still grounded, so no."

"You grounded me until New Year's, and it's New Year's."

"Technically, it's New Year's Eve, so until midnight, you're still grounded. Not that you would be going anyway, because you're not an Avenger or an SI employee."

"I'm Pepper's intern," Loki pointed out.

"Huh, that's right, you are. Too bad you're grounded."

"It's not even fair that you grounded me this time. Thor forced me to go to Asgard with him. I had no choice in the matter, and I had a horrible time." (Actually, it hadn't been entirely horrible; he had enjoyed that bubble bath.)

"Loki, I don't believe for a second that he had to drag you kicking and screaming. If he had, JARVIS wouldn't have let him take you out of the building."

"Perhaps not, but Thor is my elder brother, and an adult."

"Allegedly."

"And am I not supposed to do what adults tell me to do?"

"Not when they tell you to do things you know I wouldn't want you to. I feel like we've been over this before, but as long as you live here, I'm your guardian, not your dumbass brother."

"That dumbass is king of Asgard," Loki argued.

"He wasn't king of anything when you guys left the tower, and he still isn't king here. By the way, I've reprogrammed JARVIS so that now you can't leave the tower without permission from me, Pepper, or Bruce. If anyone else wants to take you out, adult or not, they have to clear it with one of us."

"And you still won't be going anywhere without me." Sif stepped out of the shadow she had been lurking in. For the past week, the woman had followed Loki around like a clingy Labrador retriever, which was more than he could say for Thori, who he hadn't seen all day.

The worst of it was that he was still just the tiniest bit infatuated with her, thanks to Sigyn's love potion, and the more time he spent around her, the more difficult it was for him to hide it. "Tony, please," Loki begged.

"You know, I'm starting to think it isn't a horrible idea. Now that you're a prince again, you probably shouldn't be walking around New York without a bodyguard."

Loki hoped he was joking but had the awful feeling he wasn't. "That's what you think now, until she commits some public faux pas that draws attention to us both. She still doesn't understand the ways of modern mortals. How many glasses has she broken so far?"

"It is difficult to break a habit of a thousand years," said Sif. "But I have already learned much about mortal culture. I have been watching their magic picture box."

Loki rolled her eyes. Like Thor, Sif wasn't that dense, which meant that she had to be doing it on purpose. "It's called a television, Sif."

"I also asked Lady Pepper for advice on how to blend in here, and she gave me a stack of literature to peruse, pertaining to mortal styles of dress."

"You've been reading fashion magazines," Loki translated.

"I have been studying them diligently and attempting to apply their precepts as I choose my Midgardian wardrobe. Though I am still confused as to whether I am a 'cool,' a 'warm,' or a 'neutral,' so I've stuck with the colors I usually wear."

Loki examined Sif's crimson red turtleneck sweater with matching lipstick, black skinny jeans, and a pair of ever-trendy chestnut colored Uggs. "I suppose you've done a decent enough job dressing yourself."

Sif gave him a small, deferential nod. "Thank you for saying so, my prince." Though he detected a note of sarcasm in the sentiment, for a moment, Loki thought she might be blushing. Then he realized that she had simply over-applied her rouge. He stepped towards her, licked his thumb, and reached out to try to swipe some of it off.

Sif caught him by the wrist. "What do you think you're doing?"

"You've put too much makeup on. I was just trying to fix it."

"Who are you then, my mother?"

Suspicious that he might be the one blushing now, Loki pulled his wrist away from her and ran for the stairs.

.° (;;￣-￣)ノ(❁•_•❁)

Sif watched as Loki dashed out of the room. She considered following him but decided to take the opportunity to speak to Lord Stark instead. Her prince seemed to have developed a surprisingly close relationship with the man, which perhaps meant he would have some insight into his behavior. "Loki has been acting strange," she announced, hoping it would be enough to illicit a response.

Stark's attention had returned to his work, but his mouth quirked upwards. "Stranger than normal?"

"He avoids eye contact with me whenever I speak to him, but then I catch him staring when he thinks I am not looking. At first, I thought he was only angry with me for being here, though it was hardly my idea—"

"I wouldn't worry about it. He probably just has a little crush on you."

"He wishes to crush me?" Sif supposed that made more sense than what she had begun to suspect, which was that Loki was falling in love with her.

"No, I said he has a crush on you. That's mortal for he like-likes you."

Again, the man had used a term that didn't quite translate, but Sif inferred his meaning by the wag of his eyebrows. "If you're saying that he fancies me, you must be joking. There has been no love lost between us for centuries."

"You know, I've got to wonder about that— isn't the whole reason you don't get along with him that he cut your hair?"

Sif failed to see what that had to do with anything. "It isn't the only reason, but the incident did nothing to endear him to me."

"Have you ever thought about why he did it?"

"I assumed it to be because he was jealous."

"Jealous of what, though?"

"My hair, obviously. Before he cut it, I had beautiful golden hair, which is considered a high virtue in Asgard."

"Whereas Loki's hair has always been dark, which was considered the outward manifestation of his twisted, unworthy little soul," Stark guessed. "Gee, and I thought I couldn't love Asgard more."

"We aren't quite as backward as you imagine," Sif protested. "Golden hair is a highly regarded trait in Asgard, but it isn't particularly shameful to have dark hair. My own brother is dark of complexion and highly regarded by all. But that Loki's hair was dark did lead some to talk. After all, the All-Mother's hair was golden, and the All-Father's hair had been red when he was younger—"

"Leading everyone to suspect Loki was the milkman's. I get it. But what if it wasn't really about the hair anyway—weren't you also going out with his brother?"

"I suppose it is also possible that he was jealous I had usurped his brother's attentions."

"But what if it wasn't you he was jealous of?"

"Are you saying he fancied me then? If he did, why would he cut my hair off?"

"I don't know, why did I push the gardener's daughter into the mud when I was five? Sometimes kids are mean to other kids they like because they don't know what else to do with those feelings."

"I see." Sif wasn't sure she did, but her king had spoken highly of the wisdom of mortals. Perhaps she only needed to spend a bit more time contemplating that wisdom, but before she had the opportunity, she heard the sound that she had learned accompanied the opening of the elevator doors. Ever vigilant, she turned towards them, drawing her sword.

"Whoa, whoa—put that away," said Tony. "People around here use the elevator to go between floors and enter rooms unannounced, Xena. You're going to have to get used to that."

Captain Rogers stepped out of the elevator. Satisfied that no one and nothing more sinister accompanied him, Sif returned her sword to its sheath.

"Hey Cap," Stark greeted him. "What brings you here?"

"I was looking for Sif, actually. JARVIS told me she was here."

"You have business with me?" Sif could only hope that he wished to consult with her on some matter having to do with an impending battle; that at least would be infinitely more interesting than following Loki about the tower, which she had begun to suspect to be a needless task given the security measures Stark already had in place.

The man shuffled his feet in a way that reminded Sif more of a blushing maiden than a warrior. "Could I maybe talk with you in private?"

"Welp, something tells me that things around here are about to get a lot more interesting." Sif wasn't certain what Lord Stark meant by that, though she did have a slight feeling of foreboding as she nodded to the captain and followed him onto the elevator.

When the doors closed, Sif met eyes with the man, but he quickly looked away. Something about his behavior reminded her of Loki's behavior of late—it wasn't possible that this man also fancied her? If so, the Norns must have a sense of humor more twisted than Loki's.

Her companion eventually found his voice. "I, uh, was wondering if you were going to the Stark Industries New Year's party tonight."

"I was not planning on it. Lord Stark has forbidden Loki from going, and it is my job to watch over him."

"I'm sure Loki would be fine if you wanted to go. Leonard and Bruce are going to stay here with the kids."

"Even if I did wish to go, I do not believe I have been invited. After all, I am neither one of your Avengers, nor one of those in Stark's employ."

"That was kind of what I wanted to—I mean—"

"You wanted to ask me to go with you," guessed Sif.

"That's pretty much it." The man seemed relieved that not to have to say it.

He seemed so hopeful that Sif didn't have the heart to refuse him outright. "I've nothing to wear to such a gathering."

"I'm sure Pepper or Natasha could lend you something. Natasha still isn't back yet, but I could text her and ask if it would be okay for you to look through her closet—although if you do, you'll want to make sure there aren't any bullet holes in whatever you find there."

She wanted to say no, but then she thought again; if Loki truly had a "crush" on her, perhaps he could be dissuaded if he saw her with another, especially one of his new household. After all, she would not know what to do if Loki ever decided to express his feelings for her, especially if he expressed them in the same way he had once expressed his feelings for Sigyn, namely subjecting everyone around them to poorly written poetry written in her honor.

"Very well, I shall allow you to take me to this event." Sif felt a little guilty leading him on, but allowing him one opportunity to woo her couldn't do much harm. It wasn't as if she had agreed to marry the man.

(*ﾟ-ﾟ)ゞ (❁•_•❁);;

"It isn't fair," groused Loki.

Wanda's eyes left the glowing screen in front of her long enough to glare at him. "Will you shut up? Alison Blaire's New Year's Dazzlin' Eve is about to come on."

"All you do is watch television. You're going to ruin your eyes sitting that close to the screen, by the way."

"So? All you have done for the past week is play games on your phone."

"That's only because I'm grounded and can't go anywhere." Also, there were candies that needed crushing, and enraged avians that required assistance in their vendetta against the piggy horde.

"You're grounded almost all the time," Wanda pointed out.

Loki had to admit to himself that she had a point. Perhaps he ought to think about behaving in a way that didn't get him confined to the tower so often, but if Sif got her way, he wouldn't be going anywhere on his own anymore anyway.

No sooner had he thought of the she-devil, she appeared. "You're blocking the TV," Wanda complained. Sif stepped to the side; she had been there long enough to know better than to come between Wanda and her excessive television viewing habits.

"Whatever are you wearing?" Loki demanded.

"A dress. Lady Pepper lent it to me."

"I can see it's a dress." Sif wore a crimson floor length gown with off the shoulder sleeves and a slit up the side. Through the slit, he could see not only a generous portion of Sif's shapely leg, but the same pair of red Monolo Blahnik pumps that Pepper had said no to Lady Loki borrowing, on the grounds that she was "too young" to wear four-inch heels. "What I meant was, why are you wearing it?"

"Captain Rogers has convinced me to accompany him to Stark's New Year's Eve celebration," Sif told him. "While I am gone, I expect you to be on your best behavior for Healers Banner and Samson."

"You have to be kidding me! You get to go to the party, while I'm stuck here watching television?" Also, did she just say she was going with Steve? He distinctly remembered Thor telling him that she had once admitted to feeling no romantic attraction. Then again, it wouldn't have been the first time that Thor had had a conversation with someone and come away with an entirely wrong interpretation of what had been said.

"If you wanted to go, perhaps you ought to have obeyed your guardians," she said primly.

Loki was hit by the urge to wipe the smug look from her face, preferably by kissing her in a way strait-laced Captain Rogers never could have—Odin's crappy beard, what was he thinking? He shouldn't care at all where she went and with who. But these weren't his thoughts at all; it was only Sigyn's potion making him think these things. He needed to do something about that, but he didn't remember the recipe for the antidote, and even if he did, he doubted he would be able to find the ingredients for it in Manhattan. Frigga might have been able to help him, but he knew no way of contacting her, since all Latveria happened to be a dead zone for cell service. Tony might have been able to get a message through, but Loki couldn't imagine admitting to him that he had done something as stupid as intentionally imbibing a love potion. "Fine, do whatever you want. Have fun. I hope you and the captain hit it off."

Sif's eyebrows knit together. "Hit what off?"

"Never mind, Sif. Just go." At least this way, he would be rid of her for a few hours.

\(^o^) ｏ=

Before Sif had announced her intent to go out with the Captain, Loki had been contemplating dressing for the evening anyway, even though he couldn't go to the party. Instead, he had donned a grey sweatshirt and sweatpants, and had eaten his way through almost an entire extra-large Canadian bacon and extra-cheese pizza by himself.

"You might want to slow down before you make yourself sick." At first, Loki thought Samson had been talking to him, or possibly to Pietro, who was already on his fourth pizza.

But then he looked up to see Bruce, his own mouth crammed full of pizza and his eyes full of shame. Bruce threw the half-eaten piece of pizza he had been working on back into the box he had been eating out of. "Sorry, I've just been so hungry lately."

"That could be another side effect of your medication."

"Maybe, but can we not talk about it in front of the kids?"

Loki tossed his empty pizza box on top of Pietro's pile. He had little to compare it with, but this had to be the most depressing New Year's Eve ever. "Someone kill me now, please."

That got Samson's attention. "Loki, is everything alright? I know you wanted to go to the party, but this isn't so bad, is it?"

"You have to be joking."

"Personally, I'd rather stay home than go to some dull, crowded corporate New Years Eve party."

"You have to say that, because your boyfriend is agoraphobic now."

Bruce pushed his own half eaten pizza away from him. Without saying anything, he stood and headed for the stairs, and Samson leapt up to follow him. "Damn it, Loki. You need to start thinking about what you say before you say it."

Loki took a slice of pizza from Bruce's box and stuffed the end of it into his mouth.

( ◜o◝ )%)

"So, um, do you want to dance or—"

Sif stared into the bottom of her empty champagne glass. "I believe I find myself in need of more refreshment, actually."

Steve reached for her glass. "Oh, okay, I'll—"

"No, that's alright. I'll get it myself."

Steve watched as Sif walked away, then turned to Tony. "Is it just me, or is this not going well?"

"Nah, it's not just you. Don't take it personally, but I'm honestly surprised she agreed to come with you. She does know she's here with you, right?"

"How am I not supposed to take that personally?"

"Uh, well—" Tony had heard Thor say that Sif was of the aromantic persuasion, but he had only brought it up by accident. He wasn't supposed to know, and he definitely didn't have the right to out her, especially to someone she was maybe-sort-of on a date with for whatever reason. Hell, maybe Point Break even had it wrong, considering she had agreed to go out with Steve. "I'm just saying, you don't seem like her type."

"How would you know what her type is?"

"Well, she used to date Thor, so I'm guessing if she had a type, it would be big dumb blonds—okay, maybe you are her type, now that I think about it."

Steve narrowed his eyes at him. "Just because I didn't graduate from some elite college when I was sixteen—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. When you were sixteen, you were too busy fighting the war between the cavemen and the dinosaurs."

"Why do I even bother talking to you?" Steve shook his head, then headed off in the direction Sif had gone in.

"Ah, come on, you know I'm just joking," Tony called after him.

*⌒*＊※ Happy New Year ※＊*⌒*

Bruce and Samson hadn't come back downstairs, and Loki only felt worse as the night wore on, not only because he had hurt Bruce's feelings, but because he had eaten enough pizza to make an eight-legged horse sick. By the time the ball dropped in Time's Square, he was in such a carbohydrate-induced stupor that he barely had the energy to push Pietro away when he tried to give him a New Year's kiss.

Like good little children, Pietro and Wanda had gone to bed after that, leaving Loki on his own to finish off their bottle of non-alcoholic champagne and cry himself to sleep on the couch. Before he fell asleep, he could hear rustling in the kitchen, but he didn't feel like getting up to check it out.

"Hey Lokes, time to wake up and go to bed." Loki opened his eyes and looked up to see Tony still in his blue-black tuxedo, although he had lost his tie and his cuff links somewhere. "It's almost four o'clock in the morning. By the way, I think your dog got into the garbage—"

Loki shot up and threw his arms around Tony's waist, pulling him down onto the couch with him.

"Hey, is everything alright?"

Loki shook his head.

"If it helps, you really didn't miss anything. I honestly wish I didn't have to go to these things."

"That's only because you're a jaded multi-millionaire, and you have a fiancée who won't allow you to drink and act foolishly at social functions anymore."

"I can't argue with that, I guess. But I really don't think you would have had that good of a time."

"That isn't the problem anyway."

"Is the problem that Sif went with Cap?"

Loki pulled back so that he could look Tony in the face. "No. Why would you think that?"

"No reason," Tony said a little too quickly. "Is the problem that Point Break abandoned you so he could be the Space Viking King?"

"I wasn't even thinking about that, but thanks for reminding me."

"Okay—is it that your own dog likes Sif better than you?"

"Again, no, but thanks for reminding me."

"Well, you're going to have to help me out here, because I'm running out of guesses."

"I upset Bruce."

"Oh. I wouldn't worry about it too much, then. He upsets pretty easily these days. Remember when we were having breakfast the other day, and he dropped the milk carton? I thought he was literally going to cry over spilled milk."

"Commenting on his mental state was what upset him."

"Yeah, you probably shouldn't have done that. But you know he'll forgive you if you apologize, right?"

"Perhaps, but why do I always manage to say and do things to make people hate me?"

"Loki, Bruce couldn't possibly hate you, and again, he's going to forgive you if you apologize. As for why you're such a jerk to people without meaning to be, I wish I could help you, but I kind of have the same problem. Maybe you should talk about this with Doc."

"I think Doctor Samson is upset with me too, for upsetting Bruce."

"And again, you're going to have to apologize, but he's not the kind of person to hold a grudge. He forgave you for turning his hair green that time, right?"

Loki buried his face in Tony's tuxedo shirt again and nodded into his chest.

"Why don't you go to bed now? Everything will look better in the morning."

"Why would it?"

"I don't know, it's just a thing people say." Tony patted him on the back. "Hey, I love you, okay kid?"

"I love you too, Daddy," Loki whispered. When he realized what he had said, he felt the blood rush to his face, warming his cheeks as though he stood before the flames of Muspelheim.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Loki thanked his lucky stars that Tony had a preference for listening to music at decibels conducive to early hearing loss. This time, he spoke loudly enough for the man to hear. "I said I love you too, Tony."