Author's Note: Do fish go to heaven? What about the one's that aren't baptized?

Behind the Scenes Note: This chapter is dedicated to my friend who said there was no way I could write a whole chapter around one joke. (A vampire fighting salad bar.) Ha, I write everything around just one joke!

Author's Real Note: Sadly, I start school again next week so I won't be able to update as often. But I'll still update, so please stick with me and I promise I'll keep giving you the quality, (well maybe not quality) the quantity of entertainment. (Well maybe not entertainment either.) Ok, I promise to keep giving you the quantity of words on a page that I have been giving you since I started this series. Oh and if you like this check out my new humor fic in Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossovers called Scooby Doo meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So while I still have free time I present to you...
Buffy the Cliché Slayer

"A Slayer is Bored."

The magic SHOP...

BWUHAHAHAHA! FOUR FANFIC GENRES DOWN AND ALREADY I CAN SEE THEMSLOWLY SLIPPING INTO MADNESS. Steve-0 laughed as gazed into the crystal ball that was really a Wal-Mart lawn ornament.

"Didn't you die?" Angel asked.

WHAT?

"I thought you died in the last chapter."

NO I DIDN'T.

"Yes, you did, you died and the Magic Shop blew up when you did that whole: Previously, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...' joke that wasn't funny the first time." Angel explained.

OH WELL THOSE HAPPENED BEFORE THE CHAPTER SO THEY DON'T REALLY COUNT AS ACTUAL PLOT POINTS.

"Oh." Angel paused.

"Then what are they doing here?"

He asked as he pointed to Lindsey and Indiana Jones, who waved back.

FANSERVICE.

"Oh, ok I guess that explains everything then..."

GOOD, I'M GLAD I COULD CLEAR THAT ALL UP FOR YOU.

"Except for remember back in the first chapter, when you said the Magic Shop was sucked into the 8-ball and we were floating in a vastless, which by the way isn't a real word, white void and then in the next chapter and every chapter after that we're back in the Magic Shop as if nothing ever happened?"

UH-HUH

"Yeah. What was that all about?"

HEY, LETS CHECK ON BUFFY. Steve-0 suggested nervously. Inside the 8-ball...
The sky opened up outside the Sunnydale Cemetery, and Buffy Summers fell out, and onto a freshly-filled grave.

"Ouch. Oh great, just my luck. I end up landing in a cemetery at night."

Buffy noted as she started to get to her feet.

"It looks like your, luck's about to run out, girlie," said a blonde vampire in a Catholic school girl uniform.

"Hey, I know you; you were in the first episode. I must be in Season One Sunnydale!" Buffy cried excited because now she knew when and where she was.

"Um...what?" The vampire asked as she tilted her head in confusion.

"Nevermind. Okay, Blondie, prepared to get dusted." Buffy said and then reached into her jacket pocket to pull out a stake that wasn't there. She quickly patted herself down to find that she didn't have one anywhere on her person.

"My weapons!" She cried.

"Awww, too bad. Now you'll just have to die." The vamp said as it made its way over to bite Buffy. Just then they heard someone call out in a British accent.

"There's one, quick now, and don't forget your training!"

It was followed by the sight of a salad bar complete with sneeze guard and wooden railing with sharpened points at the end rolling down the hill towards them.

"What the!" The vampire was too shocked and confused to move out of the way, and was impaled by the railing.

"You did it!" Giles cried as he came running towards it.

"Giles?" Buffy called out.

"I'm sorry do I know you?" Giles asked.

"It's me! Buffy! The slayer."

"You're not the slayer. She's the slayer." Giles said pointing to the salad bar that was now tipped over from the fight.

"You've got to be kidding me." Buffy arched her brow.

"I'm not that's Buffet: The Vampire Slayer. And I'm its Watcher, plus I always make sure it's restocked with crotons when needed to be." Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Ok, let's start over. Hi, I'm Buffy Summers, I come from another dimension. One that doesn't have serving venues as superheroes. But I was sucked into a magic 8-ball, and then I was sucked into a book, and now I'm here and I really like to go home so I can pursue my non-existent movie career." Buffy explained.

"Well then I think you better come with me." Giles said as he led Buffy to his car.

"You believe me?"

"Of course I do. You're in an AU fic, or Alternate Universe fanfiction. This is where the fanfic writer likes the characters, but doesn't like the story or the setting. So they tweak the series either slightly or drastically by changing everything from the time period to Spike's hair color. But it's basically your What If? Scenario." Giles explained.

"Wow, how do you know all this?" Buffy asked as they drove to towards the high school. "Because I'm a cyborg."

"Say what now?"

"I'm from a reality, where in the future the Watcher Council has been destroyed and vampires and demons rule the Earth. So future Buffy and the future Scoobies using the same technology used to build the Buffybots during the great Robot Wars injected my brain with a chip that had all the information that the Watcher's Council and Wolfram and Hart had on file. Then they took my brain out of my body and put it into a robot body that looked exactly like my body, but was in fact a robot body."

"Why?" Buffy asked.

"Why what?"

"Why did they put your brain in a robot body? You could have just had the chip in your head and be human. The robot body thing sounds kind of pointless. I mean does your new body have any special features besides the fact that it looks and functions like your old body?"

"Well no. It was just the future, and they needed a robot-type character, and you know what never mind we're here. Come on inside I'll introduce you to everyone." He said as he stopped the car, and the two made there way to the library.

"So is everybody in this dimension a robot from the future, or is that just you?" Buffy asked as they walked down the hall. Giles smiled wickedly,

"You'll see." He opened the double doors to expose a sight that left Buffy standing there motionless with her mouth agape. All her old friends were there except, they were all different, it was if she had landed in a bad Wizard of Oz rip- off.

"Who's she?" Angel asked Giles. He looked just like he did in season one, except he had large, white, feathery wings, and a halo.

"Angel?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm an angel of God. I was sent here to help the helpless, and rid the world of vampires. What's it to you, stranger?" Angel asked sternly.

"Don't mind him; he's a little cranky, because he went from cursed vampire with a soul who can't have sex in the series, to an angel, who still can't have sex because he doesn't have genitalia. All that repression can't be good for a man." Anya explained. She was dressed in beautiful dress you would expect to see at a Renaissance Festival.

"Hi, I'm Fairy Vengeance Demon/Godmother Anya. In my universe everyone from the series is forced to act out various Fairy Tales. What's your name?" Anya asked and extended her hand in greeting.

"This is Buffy Summers. She was transported here by a book." Giles explained.

"Arg, I was transported here by sailing my pirate ship off the edge of the world." Xander said in a pirate dialect. He stood there in full pirate garb, with one peg leg propped up on a barrel of rum.

"Xander? Since when did you become a pirate? You got seasick and threw up on the Small World ride at Disney World." Buffy asked. Xander sighed.

"Well after Caleb plucked out me eye I decided that it was fated that I leave the Scoobies and pursue a life at sea. Of course my leaving caused us to inevitably lose the fight against the First, but such is life." Xander said dropping the pirate accent.

Just then a creature that looked like Cordelia, but with a bad skin complexion appeared from the shadows to inspect Buffy. "No, you can't be Buffy Summers. I wished you out of existence before I decided to become a vengeance demon! I mean that's how Vampire Willow got here." Cordelia protested.

"She's right. I come from a universe where everyone's a vampire, because you lost the fight with the Master." Vampire Willow said as she showed a fangy smile.

"Well at least your all AU-selves are cool. In my universe, instead of getting bit by a werewolf I got bit by a salmon. Now whenever there's a full moon all I want to do is lay eggs and swim upstream." Oz sulked. Just then a guy who looked an awful lot like Luke Perry rushed into the room holding a book in his hands.

"Hey Giles, this book sort of materialized at my house, so I figured it was one of your." He said.

"I'll take that." Buffy said simply as she snatched the book from the guy's hands.

"Hey!" He protested.

"Sorry, but this book might be my meal ticket home. Who the hell are you suppose to be anyway?"

"I'm Pike."

"Pike's not a name it's a fish."

"I'm from an Alternate Universe where you never went to Sunnydale and you stayed in an obscure 80's movie and you were played by Kristi Swanson." He said

"Yecch, now that's a reality I never want to see." Buffy groaned, and then she looked at the book's title.

"Hmmm, silly fic. This must be the way home." Buffy opened the book and was instantly sucked inside. TO BE CONTINUED...Eventually.