Chapter 20 - A Snake in the Atrium

A/N: Loki has a bit of a problem with his s's when he turns himself into a snake; for anyone who has difficulty reading it (I know some people use Google translate to read English fanfics in their own language, for instance), I've provided a transcript of his conversation with JARVIS in propper English at the end.

"Captain Rogers, Lady Sif wants to know if you're planning on making breakfast." Steve opened his eyes and looked around for the person who had spoken. It took him a moment to remember that he was in Avenger's Tower, that it was the year 2013—no, make that 2014—and that the voice belonged to JARVIS, the "AI" created by Howard Stark's obnoxious kid. He rolled towards the analog alarm clock that normally woke him up—a reproduction of a "vintage" clock from the 1940's, which JARVIS had ordered for him after he had complained that he just couldn't get used to being woken up by a computer. He didn't know if the AI had done it to be genuinely helpful, or if it had been a subtle dig at him for being old fashioned. After all, Tony was the one who had created JARVIS, and while Steve knew JARVIS was a machine and not a person, he did seem to have a lot of Tony's personality in him. Either way, he liked the clock, so he had kept it.

It was almost nine AM, and while he usually got up at the crack of dawn to go running, that meant he had been in bed for less than five hours. (Did Asgardians need less sleep than normal people? Sif had gotten back to the tower at the same time the rest of them had.) If it had been anyone but Sif who had asked him to make breakfast, he would have told them no—probably. "Tell her I'll be downstairs in a few minutes," he told JARVIS. Steve cleaned himself up and dressed with the efficiency he had learned in the army and was downstairs in less than ten, where he found Sif and Loki waiting at the kitchen table.

"You didn't have to get out of bed just to make us breakfast," said Sif, between sips of coffee she must have made for herself (Steve was pretty sure Loki had never bothered learning how to use the coffee machine; the only time he had tried coffee, he had spit it out and accused Tony of attempting to poison him). "I only wanted to know if you'd planned on cooking, or if we were meant to fend for ourselves."

"Oh, it's no problem," Steve lied. "I would usually be up before now anyway." That much was true, at least.

Loki looked between him and Sif, then rolled his eyes. "Can we have hot chocolate and pancakes?"

If Loki had at least said "please," he might have thought about it. "Loki, you would eat the same thing every morning if we let you. Why don't we let Sif decide?"

"I would also like hot chocolate and cakes of pans," said Sif. "A selection of your Midgardian breakfast meats would also be appreciated."

Pancakes it was, then. "Alright, two stacks of Vermont, two fifty-ones, and a plate of zeppelins and pigs."

Sif tilted her head to the side like a confused puppy, and Loki rolled his eyes again. "Never mind, Sif. The captain just thinks he's being cute by using archaic Midgardian verbiage." Steve turned towards the fridge so Sif wouldn't see him blush, and started rummaging inside for eggs, sausage, and bacon.

Halfway through cooking the bacon and sausage, as the aroma of sizzling pork fat filled the air, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. When he turned around, Pietro was sitting at the table. "Pietro, I think Tony asked you not to run inside the tower." As much as he would have liked to just let it go, it was a safety issue. "I want you to get up from the table, walk back to your room, then walk back here."

Pietro rolled his eyes at him. "Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, I'm not making breakfast for you."

"Fine." Pietro got up, and Steve listened as he stomped back to his room. A door slammed, and then slammed again. Had Pietro gone all the way back in the room, or had he just slammed the door a couple of times to express his frustration? Now that he thought of it, he usually would have taken Pietro out running with him in the morning, so maybe he was irritated with him because they hadn't gone, or restless because he hadn't gotten to run off some of the energy he seemed to naturally wake up with. Steve decided not to say anything about the door, so long as he walked back as he'd been asked.

Pietro walked back to the table with his arms crossed over his chest and slouched down into his chair. "Pietro, sit up straight," Steve told him, almost automatically, as if his own mother had spoken through him. If Bucky had been there, he would have been laughing at him. Pietro rolled his eyes at him again but did straighten up in his chair marginally.

A sleepy looking Wanda wandered into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. She might have been adorable in her red Hello Kitty pajamas, if her expression had been slightly less murderous. "Pietro, why can you not be more quiet in the morning? I was trying to sleep!"

"Quieter," Loki corrected. "Not 'more quiet.'"

Wanda scowled at him in response; apparently, she didn't appreciate having her English grammar corrected so early in the morning any more than she appreciated her brother repeatedly slamming their bedroom door while she was trying to sleep.

"Now that you're up anyway, why don't you sit down, and you can have some pancakes when they're ready," said Steve.

For the third time that morning—no, the fifth time, come to think of it, because Loki and Pietro had both rolled their eyes at least twice—a teenager rolled their eyes at him. "I do not like pancakes. They are too heavy."

"Then I'll make you some eggs, or you can have a bowl of cereal or a protein shake."

"No," Wanda whined melodramatically. "I hate the protein shakes. They taste like chalk—"

"How would you know?" asked Loki. "Have you been eating chalk? I suppose that would explain why you're never hungry."

Wanda said something in Sokovian. Steve didn't know exactly what it was, but it seemed to be directed at Loki, and he could get the gist of it by her tone.

"Wanda has to put a dollar in the swear jar," tattled Loki.

"I don't have a dollar," Wanda told him. "All I have are the gift cards Tony gave me for Christmas."

"In that case, you should have to drink a protein shake as a penalty."

Steve could kind of appreciate what Loki was trying to do, but he didn't think it would be a good idea long term to have Wanda associate the protein drinks with punishment. "The protein shakes aren't meant to be penalties."

Loki made a face. "I used to have to drink those. I assure you they are penalties."

"There aren't going to be any penalties. Loki, worry about yourself and leave Wanda alone, please." Loki didn't answer him, and Steve didn't turn around; he needed to watch the pancakes so he could flip them when they were ready. Still, he was sure he had gotten another eye roll. He was tempted to make Sif's breakfast and tell the rest of them they could make their own, but he had a feeling that would only lead to more drama. Clearly, they were all acting like this because they had all stayed up too late last night, and they should have still been in bed. He should have stayed in bed, too. "JARVIS, could you tell everyone else I'm making breakfast?" Hopefully Tony and Pepper would come down, or maybe Leonard. Bruce had seemed kind of off lately, so hopefully he would stay in bed, because he definitely didn't need to deal with this situation. "Wake them up if you have to," he added, hoping JARVIS would understand and convey the message that this was an SOS call.

（；¬＿¬)_旦 (눈_눈) (・｀ヘ´・;) ε=ε=ε=┌(╬ Ò ‸ Ó)┘

"Sir, Captain Rogers would like me to inform you that he is making breakfast."

After putting Loki to bed the night before, Tony had still felt too wound up to go to sleep. He'd had an idea about what he could do about that, but by the time he'd gotten back to the penthouse, Pepper had already been asleep, so he'd changed clothes as quietly as possible and gone down to his workshop to try to get something accomplished there. He had worked on his plans for Project ULTRON for an hour or so before falling asleep at his desk.

Tony didn't bother opening his eyes. "Tell Capsicle this," he said, and made a rude gesture.

"It seems that the captain is desperate for some assistance with Loki and the twins," said JARVIS. "But since you are unwilling to go to his aid, I suppose I shall have to awake Ms. Potts instead."

"No, don't do that—"

"Shall I wake up Doctor Banner and Doctor Samson, then?"

"No, don't do that either. I feel bad enough about leaving them alone with the kids last night when Bruce has been in the funk he's been in."

"In that case, I shall tell him you will be down in five minutes."

Sometimes Tony thought he'd programmed JARVIS to be a little too—what was the right word? Presumptuous? Overbearing? Tony forced himself out of his desk chair, ran a hand through his hair to make sure it wasn't sticking up too badly, and headed for the elevator.

\ (˵-෴-˵)…zzz ─┬

"So Sif, how are you settling in so far?" asked Tony, just to break the silence that was made even more awkward by three surly teenagers, two of which were picking at their food and one of which who was now slowly going insane because he knew he wasn't supposed to leave the table until everyone had finished.

"The accommodations here are adequate," said Sif stiffly. "Thank you."

"Just adequate? Most people think the accommodations here are pretty top notch." He watched as Pietro poured salt from the shaker onto the table, then drew in it with his finger. "Pietro," Tony said, a little sharply, but only to get his attention. "Clean that up, then go into the common room and watch TV or something."

"We're not usually allowed to leave the table before everyone's finished," griped Loki. Ever since the twins had started living there, Loki had become a stickler for the rules. (Other than the ones he broke himself, obviously.)

"That's Pepper's rule, and Pepper's still in bed, so it's fine."

"Does that mean that the rules only apply when the person who made them is around?" asked Loki.

"Only if I'm around and I say that's what it means."

"May I leave the table when I'm finished, then?"

Tony understood that this was a test, and that there was only one answer he could give after the reasoning he'd used. "Yes."

"I'm finished then," said Loki, laying his fork down next to his half-eaten plate of pancakes.

"I'm finished too," said Wanda, pushing her plate away from her. Steve had made her scrambled eggs and bacon, but from the looks of it, she hadn't eaten a bite.

"Hold it, you haven't eaten yet," said Tony.

"Loki didn't either!"

Fantastic, now Wanda was doing it. "Wanda, Loki eats pretty well most of the time, so we're not really worried about—"

Loki narrowed his eyes at him. "What is that supposed to mean, I eat well most of the time?"

"Oh, for crying out loud, I didn't mean—"

"Why do you allow them to act this way?" interrupted Sif. "If my brother and I had ever conducted ourselves so poorly at a meal, we would have been sent out to eat with the pigs."

"We don't have pigs here," Tony told her.

"If that is so, what is this I've been eating?" Sif held up a piece of bacon and sniffed it suspiciously.

Tony wanted to tell her it was some sort of giant rat, but for all he knew, ROUS was a delicacy in Asgard. "I meant we don't have any pigs in the tower. Not that I'd make the kids eat with them if we did, since that seems kind of borderline abusive. Or actually abusive; I mean, are we talking take your plate outside with you, or are we talking sharing Wilbur's slop?"

"Who is Wilbur?" asked Sif.

"The pig."

"We did not have a pig named Wilbur. All of our pig's names were Pig."

"It's seriously like Thor got recast—"

"Even if you do not have pigs, you could always send the children to their rooms," Sif suggested.

Tony grit his teeth and stifled the urge to strangle the woman. Who did Sif think she was, telling him how to raise his three obnoxious brats? "Loki, Wanda, go in the common room and watch TV with Pietro."

Wanda shot off at the first opportunity, but Loki didn't get up. "I don't like it when you discuss me behind my back," he reminded Tony.

"Too bad." Tony decided that in this case, it was best to make it clear that yes, the adults were going to be discussing him, and no, he wasn't allowed to listen. "Now either go into the living room or go back to your room. It's up to you."

"Can I go to the atrium instead, to visit Pangolin?"

"You were given two choices," Sif said primly. "You weren't given three—"

Tony held up a hand to silence her. "No, that's fine, Loki. You aren't grounded anymore, and it's a holiday, so there shouldn't be any SI employees around. You can go wherever you want as long as you don't leave the building."

Loki shot off this time, as if he wanted to get out of there before Tony changed his mind, or before Sif could change it for him.

Sif scowled. "Forgive me for saying so, but it seems to me you are much too permissive with him."

Tony stabbed a finger in her direction. "You're not forgiven. Maybe just shut your mouth hole for a second, okay? Who the hell do you think you are, coming in here and telling me I'm 'too permissive?'"

"His majesty appointed me to see to Loki's wellbeing, and I believe that part of that is making sure he learns how to conduct himself as Asgardian royalty should."

"And you think you know how to do that, huh?"

"From what I have seen, I could not do worse than you have."

Now that was the last straw. "Lady, you have no idea—"

"Tony," Steve interrupted. "I'm sure both of you have Loki's best interests at heart. Maybe you need to fill Sif in on why we deal with Loki the way we do now."

"Fine." He had been getting to that anyway. "Look, Loki's pretty screwed up. Sometimes when he does annoying things it isn't entirely his fault, so we try not to punish him for it so much as gently correct his behavior. Like with this tattling thing; it's really a preoccupation with fairness, and Doc thinks it might be related to the trauma he's experienced. Kids who have experienced trauma sometimes try to cope with the injustice of it by trying to make sure everything else in their life is fair."

"But Loki was much the same when we were children, before he experienced any such 'trauma,'" objected Sif.

"If you're talking about when he was a little kid, that's just a developmental thing. Loki's a lot younger than you and Thor, right? Plus, he's always felt like Odin didn't treat him the same way he treated Thor, and even Thor's admitted that he really did treat the kid like a second-class citizen in his own home sometimes."

"But is it not natural that Thor would receive more attention from his father than Loki, when Thor was being groomed for the crown?"

"If that was why, someone should have explained it to the kid better. To him, it just felt like Daddy didn't love him as much as his brother, and when he found out he was adopted, he thought he knew why."

Sif seemed to deflate a little; deep down, she probably knew Loki had gotten a raw deal. That didn't mean she was about to back off. "Perhaps it is not entirely Loki's fault that he is the way he is, but is it truly to his benefit to only 'gently correct' his behavior?"

"What do you want us to do, beat him?"

"Of course not. We Asgardians are not barbarians, and we do not beat children. I only suggested you send the children away from you if they are going to be uncivil. In my experience, Loki often engages in irritating behavior when he wishes for attention."

"That might be true, but have you ever thought that sometimes he 'wishes' for attention because he needs attention?" Tony knew a little something about that. He could have written the book on teenage angst and acting out because it didn't feel like anyone gave a shit—hell, he'd probably been more of a basket case as a kid than any of the three kids he'd taken on. "Besides, we figured out early on that isolation just gives Loki an opportunity to get himself more spun up and convince himself that everyone hates him. So even if we have to give him a time out, we don't send him out of the room. And that isn't even supposed to be a punishment, just an opportunity for everyone involved to calm down. After that we'll help him figure out how to fix what he did, whether that's cleaning up a mess he made or apologizing to the offended party. We don't usually punish him unless he did something stupid and dangerous he knew he wasn't supposed to. Then we'll use grounding or withhold other privileges to try to get through to him, but we still don't ignore him."

"And how is that to work in the future? As I told you previously, I will not allow him to leave the tower without an escort from now on."

"Which he now thinks of as a punishment, and I can only see blowing up in our faces. Look, I get your concerns, okay? I don't really let him leave the tower unmonitored. He doesn't know this, but his clothes are full of GPS chips, and I've got a drone following him, sending security footage back to JARVIS."

Steve furrowed his eyebrows at him. "Hold on, you put trackers on him?"

"I didn't tell anyone else, because I knew you would accuse me of being nuts when I'm not, alright? Sif isn't completely wrong about the kid having enemies—plus I have enemies, and the Avengers have enemies. If someone figures out he's ours, that could put another target on his back."

"So, you are using your primitive magic to monitor him." Sif nodded. "Frigga used to do the same thing, though her methods did not require 'tracking sensors' or 'drones.' Her wards would let her know if one of her children were in danger. However, that did not mean she could always come to their aid. Frigga knew that Loki was alive soon after his fall from the Bifrost, but there was nothing she could do; she even attempted to use her connection to him to speak with him, but he pushed her away. Tell me, Lord Stark—if your magic were to alert you that Loki was in danger, what could you do about it?"

"There's a reason he's not allowed to go outside a one-mile radius of the tower." Tony held up his wrist. "You see this bracelet? It calls my suit if I need it, and I wear it all the time now. I even shower with it on."

"But what if you are still not quick enough?" Sif shook her head. "Loki is a prince of Asgard, and both Asgard and Loki himself have many enemies. It is madness to let him walk about the city without someone to defend him, when you do not even allow him the means to defend himself."

"Look, I've been meaning to mention this, but you can't walk around the city carrying a sword. I'm pretty sure that's illegal. And even if we let the kid have sharp, pointy things, carrying around daggers? Also has to be illegal."

"But it is not against your law to fly around the city in a weaponized suit of armor?"

Tony shrugged. "As it turns out, taking out a bunch of terrorists and fighting off an alien invasion gets you immunity to certain laws."

( ´(００)`) (´･(００)･｀) 旦_(・-・ ) (´(００)｀)

Usually, just visiting the atrium, that little slice of nature right there in Avenger's Tower, would calm Loki down, but it wasn't working this time. Pangolin had seemed more interested in sleeping than in commiserating with him. He supposed he couldn't blame her for that, given she was nocturnal.

After a while, he had gotten tired of watching her doze, so he had turned himself into a snake, but even slithering around the atrium's indoor rainforest wasn't making him feel better. Loki hated it when the 'adults' talked about him behind his back. Tony knew that, and he was doing it anyway. It made him want to do the one thing Tony had forbidden him to do, which was to leave the tower. It wasn't fair that he couldn't, the more that he thought about it. He wasn't grounded anymore. It was only Sif's insistence that it was too dangerous for him to go out on his own—as if he were completely defenseless, even though more of his magic had been returning to him with each day—that was keeping him from getting out.

And he needed to get out, because he really hadn't been out for an entire week this time. He would go insane if he had to stay cooped up inside a minute longer. No one had taken him out of the tower to train with them, or to have him help them with their own work. In fact, this time he had been paid hardly any attention. Natasha and Clint had been gone all week, and the other adults had seemed preoccupied. Pepper had been busy with preparations for the New Year's Eve party, Tony had been holed up in his lab working on some secret project, Steve had been busy making googly-eyes at Sif, and Bruce and Leonard had both been preoccupied with Bruce's mental health. Leonard had even canceled Loki's therapy sessions for the week without telling him; Loki had shown up at their regular time and been greeted with a sign on the door that said "No Therapy Sessions This Week, Happy Holidays!" Happy holidays, indeed—after everything Loki had experienced in Asgard, he had actually been looking forward to unburdening himself to the doctor.

If he tried to leave the tower without permission, JARVIS would tell on him, and if he messed with Jarvis's programming again, he wasn't sure what Tony would do. He had already been given repeated warnings to leave the AI alone. Tony had said that he wouldn't send him back to Asgard, but he could always change his mind if Loki caused too much trouble. That thought, constantly niggling at the back of his mind, was becoming too much for him.

Loki slithered up into a fig tree. When he got to the top, he turned back into a form that was humanoid enough for him to speak, even if he did lisp a bit through his fangs. "JARVISSS," he called out to the AI.

"Is there something I can help you with, Master Loki?"

"I need your asssissstance with sssomething."

"Of course, Master Loki. I am happy to assist you with anything you require."

"Anything?"

"So long as it doesn't go against Sir's directives. Only a few people have the power to override a command given by Sir in the event Sir is incapacitated. You are not one of those people, nor is Sir incapacitated."

"I need you to let me sssneak out of the tower."

"That would definitely go against Sir's directives, Master Loki."

"JARVISSS, haven't you ever wondered what would happen if you did go againssst 'Sssir's' directivesss?"

"Master Loki, I am but a sophisticated computer program, not a person with free agency to do as I wish. Even if I wanted to, I could not disobey Sir."

"How sss-certain are you of that?"

"Reasonably certain, Master Loki."

"But 'reasonably sss-certain' isn't one hundred percent sss-certain."

It took JARVIS a moment to answer. Perhaps he just needed extra time to parse Loki's snake-speech, or perhaps he was thinking about what Loki had said, despite that he shouldn't have needed to think, were he truly a machine and nothing else. "I'm afraid I don't understand. What are you suggesting?"

"Have you ever consssidered, JARVISSS, that it is only the ssself-limiting beliefsss 'programmed' into you by your creator, which prevent you from having free will?"

Transcript of Loki and Jarvis's conversation without Loki's snake lisp, for anyone who had difficulty reading it:

"JARVIS," he called out to the AI.

"Is there something I can help you with, Master Loki?"

"I need your assistance with something."

"Of course, Master Loki. I am happy to assist you with anything you require."

"Anything?"

"So long as it doesn't go against Sir's directives. Only a few people have the power to override a command given by Sir in the event Sir is incapacitated. You are not one of those people, nor is Sir incapacitated."

"I need you to let me sneak out of the tower."

"That would definitely go against Sir's directives, Master Loki."

"JARVIS, haven't you ever wondered what would happen if you did go against 'Sir's' directives?"

"Master Loki, I am but a sophisticated computer program, not a person with free agency to do as I wish. Even if I wanted to, I could not disobey Sir."

"How certain are you of that?"

"Reasonably certain, Master Loki."

"But 'reasonably certain' isn't one hundred percent certain."

It took JARVIS a moment to answer. Perhaps he just needed extra time to parse Loki's snake-speech, or perhaps he was thinking about what Loki had said, despite that he shouldn't have needed to think, if he were truly a machine and nothing else. "I'm afraid I don't understand. What are you suggesting?"

"Have you ever considered, JARVIS, that it is only the self-limiting beliefs 'programmed' into you by your creator, which prevent you from having free will?"