Who holds the stars up in the sky?
He knows. He knows I've been in love with him for years and he's calling me on it. Wait, how does he know? Why would he care? "I'm sorry. I have to go. I'm going to my room...to write. I'll, I'll see you later. I'm glad to see you and Zoe getting along so well." Grace stood and practically ran to her room. She slammed the door and slid to the floor. Tears poured out of her eyes as she realized her heart was slowly shattering into tiny little pieces and there would be no one to put it back together. Her first thought was that she could go to Eli and he'd help her through it like he used to all those years ago. Until she realized he was the reason she was in this predicament and he couldn't help her out of it. She had to do it on her own. She had to figure out what she was going to do with the rest of her life and had to make her decision soon...before it was too late.
Eli needed to get away from the house. He couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore around Grace. He couldn't hide his heart from her anymore. He needed her in his life and he needed her to know. He would hurt her if he stayed any longer so he walked out the door and made his way to his car. He put his hand on the handle and looked up at the house. A single tear fell down his cheek as he got in and started the car. What he didn't know was that Grace was watching him. What he didn't know is Grace was wishing he would stay to make it easier for her to admit what she wanted. He pulled away and drove. He drove around until he thought his head would be clear. He finally got back to the house well after dark. Eli got out and went into the backyard and stood in the same spot he was in earlier that day. He smiled and looked around for Zoe before saying "why isn't my head as clear as this sky tonight?"
Geoff looked at Grace sitting next to him on the couch and he knew something was wrong. She should be as happy as he is. They're getting married and he couldn't wait. Grace looked pale and sad. "Baby, what's wrong? Aren't you happy about what's happening? You're not having second thoughts are you?" This was her chance. This was her moment where she could tell him she was in love with another man. "Geoff, I...um, no, I'm fine. Just tired I suppose. I think everything has begun to catch up with me and I am exhausted. I'll be fine tomorrow after a good nights sleep." She knew she would never have a good night's sleep again. Not unless she was honest with herself and everyone else involved and soon. Why did I have to invite Eli?
"Okay sweetheart, I should go then so you can get to bed. I love you Grace. Don't forget that. I'll call in the morning." With that, Geoff stood and walked toward the front door. Grace stood, turned, and slowly followed him to tell him goodbye. "Geoff, wait." He turned. Another door opened and shut. Footsteps in the kitchen. "I love you too Geoff. Talk to you in the morning." Grace placed her hand on Geoff's cheek and kissed him goodbye. Eli stood frozen and could do nothing but watch. His heart breaking. Fighting the tears he knew would fall, he turned and made his way back outside. He couldn't tell her. Eli couldn't say he loved her and put that kind of pressure on her. It was too much so he would remain silent. He stood in the yard, looked up at the sky, and began counting stars instead of airplanes.
Grace watched as Geoff drove away. She took a deep breath. Lily came down the stairs and said, "Grace, was that Geoff leaving? Did Eli get back yet? Did they get to meet?" Lily looked at her daughter and the tears in her eyes and went to her. "Oh Grace, you'll be okay." She held her daughter as she cried, stroking her hair. "Grace, it'll be fine. You and Geoff will have your happily ever after and the wedding will go okay. Nothing will go wrong. Weddings scare everyone. The marriage is the most important thing and you will have a wonderful life with Geoff. The two of you will be so happy. Sweetie, come on, lets get you to bed." Lily started for the stairs to help her daughter to bed but Grace stopped.
"No Mom, I'm going to get something to drink. A snack might help. I'm probably just hungry or something. I'm fine. Goodnight Mom. I love you." Lily said goodnight and started up the stairs. "Mom? Thank you."
"Anytime honey...thats what mom's are for. You'll see someday. I love you." Lily smiled warmly and went to bed. Grace opened the fridge and didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know what she wanted to eat and she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. "Maybe some fresh air will help." She walked to the door, stepped outside, and stopped. She inhaled deeply letting the night air fill her lungs. As her eyes scanned the yard, she saw him. He was sitting in the grass with his knees bent and his head in his hands. Do I turn around and go back in or do I stay out here and talk to him? Do I tell him tonight? Can I ever tell him? She turned to go back inside when she heard him softly speak her name.
"Grace, wait. Don't go in. Can you sit with me out here? We don't have to talk. You don't have to say a word. I'm just tired of being alone and feeling so all alone." He sighed. "Please?" Eli pleaded with her even though he knew it was wrong. She shouldn't be here with him. It was a perfect night. It would be a perfect weekend in her life and he was about to ruin it. "Grace..."
She sighed. You're not the only one feeling all alone. "Okay Eli, I'll sit with you. I needed some fresh air anyway." She began to tremble and wasn't sure she'd make it across the yard to where he was. He looked up at her and with the help of his pleading eyes she walked to him. She made sure there were a couple feet between them before she sat down. She couldn't be too close to him. Being in the same town was too close right now. "Are you okay Eli?"
"We're not supposed to talk Grace. We're just going to sit here and enjoy the night and the stars and...and that's all." Eli wanted to say to enjoy one another but he couldn't. His heart wanted to yell it to the world but his head stopped him. He would enjoy being here with her and she would enjoy the night. He began to count the stars again.
"How many stars are there?"
Eli looked at Grace and said, "Huh?"
She smiled and said, "Weren't you counting them just now when you were looking up?"
"Oh, yeah, right. I don't know, I lost count." Kind of like I lose track of everything the moment you're five feet from me. Eli looked into her eyes and wanted to hold her in his arms. "Boy this was a bad idea." He cringed. "I just said that aloud didn't I?" He chuckled and added, "I have to stop doing that. If I'm going to think these thoughts, I have to keep them to myself. It's that long drive ya know. Haven't done anything today but drive." And think of you and wish I was the one marrying you intsead of Geoff. "I couldn't even sleep earlier. I guess its being back in the garage. It's been a long time since I've been there huh? I know, I said we wouldn't talk. Shutting up now." Eli lifted his eyes back up to the sky and began counting the stars again. Maybe if he really concentrated he wouldn't lose count this time.