Author's Note: This Fic has been evicted. It has 30 days to evacuate the premises of Note: Bob the Universal janitor is from my original cliché series entitled The Cliché, which is about an entirely different fandom, and also not very good.

Author's Real Note: Ok I know doing a silly-fic parody for this fic, is like trying to fill up the ocean with an eye-dropper. (Hmm, that sounded really deep, yet still made no sense at all.) The analogy I'm trying to make is doing a silly fic parody of this fic, is like how those Scary Movie movies were suppose to be a parody of Scream, but Scream was a parody of horror movies, so it ended up being a parody of a parody, which is kind of redundant and…well, stupid. But I'm doing it anyway. So endure…

Buffy the Cliché Slayer

Chapter 12

"Silly-fest"

Previously on Buffy the Cliché Slayer…

Look, if you want to know what happened in the last chapter hit the back button on the top of your screen, you lazy bastards.

The Magic Box

Lindsey sat on the floor outside the bathroom door. His head was resting just below the doorknob. It had been four hours since his costar had locked himself in there, and Lindsey had just drunk a full pot of coffee. He had two choices he could either use the restroom in the pot and then tell Steve-0 he made a pitcher of lemonade when he returned, or try to get Angel out of the bathroom, so he wouldn't get kicked out of the fic. So since he was on hiatus anyway, and nothing better to do he chose the latter.

"Angel." He called out.

"…" Silence.

"Angel, buddy."

"…Go away!" A voice resounded. It sounded like a mixture of crying, talking and chewing.

"Come on, Angel it's time to come out of the bathroom."

"No." Angel pouted.

"You know you can't stay in there forever why don't you come out and we'll talk about it?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm ugly."

"Oh come on, you're not ugly!"

"Yes I am!" Angel wailed. "I'm ugly, and I'm fat and that's why they cancelled my show!"

"You know that's not true." Lindsey said as he pounded the back of his head against the door.

"Yes it is!" That's when Lindsey remembered the crystal ball/Wal-Mart lawn ornament, which was flickering with the image of Steve-0 and his army.

"Hey if you come out you can watch Steve-0 screw up his fanfic with more incontinuity, and confusing story-telling skills."

"Really?" Angel said as he poked his fat head out the door.

"Yeah just look." Lindsey said pushing the soul and jelly-filled vampire out of the way and closing the bathroom door behind him. Angel wiped the tears from his eyes and peered into the ball.

Meanwhile back in Chapter 11…

"You want us to do what?" Cyborg Giles said in disbelief.

I WANT YOU TO KILL BUFFY AND HER SCOOBY GANG.

"Why?" Wuss Spike asked.

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T DONE A CHARACTER DEATH CHAPTER YET, AND I'M GETTING TIRED OF WRITING THIS STORY. PLUS, WHAT'S A MORE CLICHED ENDING THEN KILLING OFF A MAIN CHARACTER AND A FEW PRINCIPLES? I MEAN LOOK HOW MANY TIMES THEY DID IT IN THE SHOW.

"But how?" Tarot asked.

I DON'T KNOW YOU JUST KILL THEM.

"No, what she means is how are we going to kill them? You brought all of us here to this chapter after you sent all of them to another chapter." Bob said.

"Not only that, baby, you sent all but two of them into the Fanfiction Nexus, and trying to find a specific character in there is like trying to find a good deal at Macy's." Woody said.

"So how are we going to find them?" Sailor Moon asked.

UMM…UH…I HAVEN'T QUITE FIGURED THAT OUT YET.

"Why do I get the feeling that he doesn't really plan these chapters out before he writes them?" Mary Sue asked.

"Have you not been reading this fic?" Cyborg Giles asked.

WELL, WE'VE GOT A LOT OF TIME BEFORE I FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIX THIS, SO WHILE WE WAIT…" Steve-0 reached into a pocket of space and pulled out an edition of Candyland. "DOES ANYBODY WANT TO PLAY CANDYLAND?"

Finally in Chapter 12…

The sky split open above the winding streets of an abstract and cartoony rendition of Sunnydale, and Buffy and Spike fell out, and landed on the street, knocking them unconscious. Six words later they regained consciousness.

"Oaf!"

"Ugh!"

The two groaned as they Spike was the first one to get up and dust himself off.

"I just had the weirdest dream. I dreamt that you were some high school prom queen, and I was a poetic geek, and we were being forced to live out a John Hughes movie." Spike groaned.

"That wasn't a dream, Spike. It was premise for 87 of the Spuffy fanfics out there on the web today." Buffy answered.

"Oh." Spike looked around. "So this isn't a dream either?" He asked as he helped Buffy to her feet.

" 'fraid not, and this doesn't look like Kansas anymore either." Buffy said cryptically as she noticed her surroundings. The landscape looked like what would have happened had Joss Whedon hired El Salvador Dali as his scenic designer.

"Bloody Hell." Spike cursed as he did the same.

"Well I guess our best course of action is to keep moving till we find the next book." Buffy said as she started walking away.

The pair walked for what seemed miles in silence until Buffy finally broke the tension.

"So when were you planning on telling me you were still alive?" Buffy asked. Spike froze, he knew this question was coming, but he still hadn't decided on how to answer it.

He could tell her the truth, that he wanted his death to mean something to her, and that he had been given a second chance he thought would have cheapen what his dying meant to her. He was about to apologize, and express his true feelings when out of nowhere he gets hit by a semi-truck with the number 1 ¾ scrawled in crayon on the license plate. It drove on another thirty yards, and then came to a screeching halt.

"Spike!" Buffy cried.

Spike was flattened like a pancake, but otherwise unharmed.

"I'm all right, just feeling a bit flat." He said dazed slightly by the blow. He blew on his thumb, and began to fill out. Just then, as Spike got up to dust off his duster the truck revved its engine, and began to back up at the same speed in which it originally hit Spike.

"Oh bloody hell." Spike cursed softly as the truck came to a screeching halt right on top of the bleach blonde vampire.

Buffy watched the spectacle in a mixture of awe and confusion. Suddenly the door to the truck swung open to reveal a small white rat in a police uniform. The rat scurried out of the truck and on to the road, and then stood up on its hind legs.

"Buffy Summers and William Bloody?" The rat asked with a voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

"Amy?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Buffy Summers and a William Bloody." The rat stated.

"Actually it's William the Bloody." Buffy corrected.

"Actually it's Spike, now will you get this Soddin' truck off of me!" Spike cried from underneath the tire of the semi.

Amy snapped her rat fingers and the truck disappeared. The tire-marked Spike crawled over to Buffy. Amy pulled out a small card from the pocket of her uniform and began to read from it.

"Elizabeth "Buffy" Summers and Billy Bloody, you two are under arrest for the crimes of trying to have a serious, plot-driven conversation in the middle of a silly-fic. You have the right to remain silly. Anything you say can't and will not make sense for the remainder of this chapter. You have the right to act completely out of cannon, if you can't do that; the writer will do so for you. Any questions?"

"Um, you got our names wrong again." Buffy stated.

"Who cares this is a silly-fic. Nobody does research for a silly-fic, because continuity, and good story telling isn't the goal."

"Then what is the goal?" Spike asked.

"Well right now the author's goal is to see how many times he can use the word silly without it getting too redundant." Amy explained.

"Did somebody say redundant?" Giles shouted as he jumped out of a hole in the sidewalk. He was dressed as a Cabana Girl, and began to salsa dance around the two confused protagonists.

"There's something you don't see every day." Spike observed. Just then Buffy farted loudly. Amy and Cabana Giles fell on the floor laughing hysterically.

"Now what was the purpose of that?" Buffy said visibly offended.

"Fart joke. Every silly fic has to have one."

"Hey, Rat Amy do you know what time it is?" Cabana Giles asked. Rat Amy, checked her watch.

"It's obscene humor time!" Rat Amy shouted. Cabana Giles knocked three times on a nearby mailbox and a midget that looked surprisingly a lot like Dawn opened the slot.

"What the #$ do you want? You #$$. I was just #!#$ your mom when you #$$! Interrupted me you!#, &#, &&#, Rob Reiner!"

"Hey, Chibi-Dawn, what's the inside joke of the day?" Amy asked.

"Aunt Margo ate my hamster!" Dawn shouted and the three of them fell back with laughter, while the disturbed Spike and Buffy looked on.

"Buffy, we've got to get out of here. This place makes less sense then new season of Charmed." Spike whispered.

"I know! It reminds me of what it would be like if we did an episode of Buffy with Mexican wrestlers or evil talking puppets." Buffy whispered back.

"Easy! At least some of us are still working."

"Whatever, let's just slowly back away while they're still laughing." Buffy suggested. The two tip-toed back a few paces, turned around and ran away. They waited till the obnoxious trio was out of sight, before stopping to catch their breath.

Huff Puff "Okay, so far I hate this chapter the most." Spike wheezed.

Huff "No kidding." Buffy concurred. "Look, off in the distance, is that another book?" She cried pointing to a floating object that lay on the horizon.

"God I hope so." Spike said as they ran towards the object.

There it was, as predictable as ever, a book entitled Fanfiction Nexus levitated before them. Buffy quickly opened it and the two were sucked in. The book fell to the ground.

Five minutes later.

A hole opened up in the middle of the sky, and Steve-0 and his band of Scooby killers fell out of it and landed harshly on the ground in a heap.

OW!

"Ugh!"

"Oof!"

"Eek!"

"Ohh!"

"Will you get off of me, Sailor Moon? You're a lot heavier than you look." Cyborg Giles complained.

"Could've been worse. Steve-0 could have picked Optimus Prime to represent the crossover chapter. Then we'd all be dead." Sailor moon said as she rolled off of the robotic watcher.

"Hey wait. Sailor Moon wasn't in the crossover chapter." Woody stated.

OKAY, WE'VE ARRIVED. NOW GO KILL THE SCOOBIES.

"They're not here." Mary-Sue said.

WHAT?

"You sent us to the wrong place! Again!" Tarot barked.

OH DARN IT ALL. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.

"Speaking of your teeming list of failures, didn't you all think this chapter was a little…?"

"Awful." Woody chimed.

"I was going to say forced." Bob said.

"Yes, it definitely wasn't as funny as the last chapters." Mary Sue noted.

"It definitely wasn't funny period." Tarot snipped.

LOOK, IF I WANTED TO HAVE MY WRITING CRITICIZED I WOULD HAVE STAYED WITH ANGEL AND LINDSEY. NOW DO ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE BUFFY AND HER FRIENDS COULD BE NOW?

"This is just a hunch, but do you think they might be in this book here?" Wuss Spike asked as he picked up the Fanfiction Nexus book.

GOOD WORK, WUSS SPIKE. Steve-0 said as he went to pat W. Spike on the head.

"Ahhh! Don't hurt me!" Wuss spike cried and recoiled.

NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. THIS CHAPTER JUMPING SCHTICK IS GETTING REDUNDANT.

"Did somebody say redundant?" Cabana Giles shouted as he led a Congo line of Amy and Dawn towards Steve-0 and the others.

OPEN THE BOOK! OPEN THE BOOK! QUICK! Steve-0 shouted.

Tarot complied and the band of antagonists was quickly sucked inside. Cabana Giles, Rat Amy, and Chibi-Dawn looked down at the ground sadly, because now they had no purpose in the story even though they didn't have a purpose to begin with.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next time on Buffy the Cliché Slayer: I will use the letter "t" at least once in the next chapter. I know you can't wait to see that. See you then!