Disclaimer: All Harry Potter people, places, things, or ideas (all Harry Potter nouns) belong to J. K. Rowlings. Mordecai and the Maddock family are mine.
Chapter 15: From a distance.
After having left the child with her cousin Fiona, Minerva did not see Severus until the evening meal on Monday. She noticed that he seemed more reserved than usual as she took her seat next to the Headmaster. He left before she could finish her meal, as if he had eaten something that did not quite agree with him. Was he avoiding her? Then came the staff meeting and the interrogation all of the teachers gave him, regarding his sincerity to work on the side of the light.
She had just made herself a pot of tea when she heard a knock at our door. She opened it to find Severus with an expression of seriousness written on his face.
"We need to talk," he said bluntly.
She led him in and closed the door before pouring him a cup of tea and joining him on her couch. "Severus, what's wrong? I've hardly seen you in a week."
I wish I didn't have to do this. "First, how are you holding up?"
She sighed and looked away for a moment. "I will be alright in time. I miss him and I wonder about the wisdom of this decision, but I can see that there is something troubling you as well. Is this about the meeting with the other staff members?" she questioned.
He took a sip of his tea. "Partly. Frankly anyone with eyes can see that they all loath me to the point of watching me closely for any little slip-up that they could send me back to Azkaban for," he paused and looked directly into her eyes. "I refuse to bring you into this mess or give you any more trouble than I already have."
"What do you mean?" she inquired as an uncomfortable feeling of foreboding sat in the pit of her stomach.
"I think you know. If they ever realize your connection to me, or associate you with me, it will hurt your reputation and your friendships with them," he remarked.
She shook her head and sighed heavily. "After all we have been through, you are suggesting that we remain no more than colleagues?"
He nodded. "You have been very helpful in finding me a position here, and as much as I appreciate your help for getting me out of Azkaban, I think that under the circumstances, it would be best if we stopped seeing each other." The minute he had said it, he realized that she was not going to take it the way he had intended. Bloody hell! She's going to hex me into next week! I didn't mean it like that!
Glaring at him, she stood and looked at him directly in the eyes. "Are you suggesting that you used me?" she began in a quiet voice.
I could either tell you the truth, or let you despise me. If you hate me, you will most likely avoid me and I won't cause you any more pain. I just hope someday you'll forgive me for this. "What do you think? I suppose what you think depends on how you view my acting abilities. Have I been acting with you, or am I acting now? A spy does have to be a good actor, does he not?"
"I know what you are doing, but what I don't understand is the reason. Why are pushing me away?" she demanded.
He sighed heavily, but managed to look her in the eyes. "The truth is that I was a deatheater and you shouldn't trust me. However, I wanted to suggest that we pass ourselves off as colleagues in order to quell the nosiness of the staff, considering that, as Dumbledore told you, the school will be under the scrutiny of the Board of Directors for a while."
Taking the now empty teacups to her kitchen, she spoke as she walked. "I understand your logic, but I don't much care for this plan."
He stood to leave. "There was a time when you made a decision that you thought was best for the both of us. Now it's my turn." Minerva sighed as she watched him go, not knowing what else to say. Slowly she walked over to her calendar and counted the weeks until the winter break.
Minerva might have invited Severus to come with her that Christmas Eve morning had she been able to find him. He had taken to sulking and avoiding her completely. With one last wistful glance at the castle, Minerva left the grounds and apparated to Fiona's home. She smiled seeing Gregory and Maggie building a snowman in the front yard. Thomas sat on the porch, watching them.
He stepped down and took Minerva's bag. "I'm glad you could make it this year," he said, loudly enough for the children to hear. They stopped making their snowmen to say hello. When they had resumed their activities, Thomas led her through the front door. "Fiona told me of your situation and I want you to know that the plan was agreed upon by both of us."
Minerva nodded in gratitude as he led her to the guest room. "How long are you staying?"
"Only until tomorrow, as always," she responded. Thomas headed back outside and Minerva headed to the kitchen in search of Fiona.
Though an old kitchen, the large antique stove still baked excellently, the dinner menu containing lamb according to Minerva's nose. Fiona had always preferred to cook food the muggle way. She found her cousin bending over a high chair, feeding Mordecai. He saw Minerva before she did and squealed.
Fiona turned to see what had captured his attention and smiled. "I honestly didn't expect to see you here so soon, but I'm glad. Happy Christmas, Minerva. Perhaps you'd like to finish feeding him?"
Minerva smiled at he cousin as if the woman had read her mind. "Happy Christmas, Fiona. I decided that the tradition of my visiting your family would not be looked upon as strange."
"Will you visit on his birthday? I could arrange to order something that only you could bring. You could also visit in the summer because Maggie's birthday is the eleventh of July and Gregory's is the fifteenth," Fiona suggested.
Her cousin brightened. "That sounds like an excellent idea." She finished feeding Mordecai and having cleaned him up, scooped him into her arms and held him. "How did you explain him to your children?"
Fiona heard an over timer and rushed over to take the lamb out of the oven. "I basically told them what you told me, except I left you out, of course. I believe that they'll all be good for each other."
The twenty-third of April came sooner than expected and Minerva was able to make the visit, dropping off not only the book that Fiona ordered, but also a present for her son. Severus had managed to avoid her sufficiently for most of that year. As the students left for the summer holiday, she decided to try something.
Marching directly to the dungeons, she knocked on his door. He grumbled as he opened it, but then froze, noticing her. "Minerva, leave. This is not a good idea," he whispered.
"We have a few evaluations of yours to discuss, Professor Snape," she said aloud.
He sighed and let her in reluctantly. After the door closed he faced her. "What is this really about?"
"This is about our son and a way that you can visit him. I am quite tired of your avoiding me. Other staff members have asked me if your cold attitude is grounds for dismissal," she paused and smiled wryly. "Frankly I don't care about what they say, but I am here to offer you an opportunity, provided that you are willing to listen," she explained.
"Alright, what is it?" he grumbled.
"This summer I will be visiting Fiona's children on their birthdays, which are fairly close together. If you come with me at the beginning of the visit, on the grounds that you were on your way elsewhere and I offered you a free meal, then it might work," she relayed.
What on earth is she doing? My association alone is putting her at risk, and now she wants me to visit the child? "I will consider it, but I am not making any promises."
He did not come that year, but instead waited until the following summer to accept her offer. "You are on your way to collect a few rare herbs from the continent, but I invited you to lunch first," she suggested as she told him of her plan.
"I suppose that will pass, considering I am running low on a few things," he acquiesced.
Fiona greeted Minerva warmly at the gate, but stopped in her tracks when she noticed the man behind her cousin. Minerva noticed her discomfort and motioned for Severus to come closer. "Fiona, I hope you don't mind, but we have a guest for lunch. This is Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts. He is on his way to the continent for rare herbs and I invited him over for lunch."
She eyed Minerva incredulously, but agreed and headed into the kitchen to make sandwiches. Minerva pulled a few packages for Maggie and Gregory from her bag and then spotted Mordecai playing on the living room floor. She walked over to him and patted his head. He turned and smiled at her as Severus watched the scene from a distance.
Mother and son sat together on the couch rambling on about something he could not quite hear. This is my fault. If I had never joined the other side, Minerva would not have been put in such a position. Perhaps I should just go back outside. Severus turned to leave and felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Why don't you go and visit with the boy while I help Fiona with food?" Minerva suggested. She headed into the kitchen before he could argue otherwise.
Severus sat on the couch next to Mordecai. About two years old now, the toddler looked at the guest with curiosity, actually crawling onto his lap. "Who you?"
The Potions Master hid his shock well. "I'm Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master."
The boy seemed to think for a moment. "Posin Masser, no, too long," he paused and pointed a finger at Severus. "You, Sir."
He smirked. "I suppose that will do for now."
Fiona had come from the kitchen with Minerva and stopped at the door of the living room. Minerva noticed her cousin's discomfort regarding the attention Severus showed the boy. "Cousin, are you sure that the boy should be alone with him? I don't know anything about that young man," Fiona pointed out.
Minerva sighed. "I promise that everything is fine."
"Then who is he? And don't give me titles. The boy is curious, but never quite so friendly with a total stranger," Fiona requested.
Her cousin led her back into the kitchen. "He is a colleague of mine, and possibly a friend as well."
"Who is Mordecai's father?" Fiona asked quietly.
Minerva took a deep breath, hoping that Fiona had not guessed the answer to her question. "As I've said before, I cannot reveal his identity because it might be dangerous."
Fiona put a hand on her cousin's shoulder and spoke warmly. "You forget that I know you well. That man in there is more to you than a colleague and someday you'll tell me about it."
You always were observant, Minerva thought to herself. Severus left after eating while Minerva spent the week at the cottage for her cousins' birthdays. In the years that followed, they kept their distance as colleagues with difficulty, each too proud to let the other know. She visited the Maddock family three times a year and was referred to as a cousin. Occasionally Severus would join her, appearing reluctant, but actually looking forward to the meeting, being referred to as "sir." Between the two of them, Mordecai had all the books he could ever want.
He grew up, happily playing with his cousins, becoming extraordinarily studious as soon as he was able to read. He was content with the Maddock family, questioning his "aunt" and "uncle" very little about his true parentage. His cousins, Maggie and Gregory, treated him as their brother.
His first display of magic that proved him to be a wizard occurred at supper one evening when he was four years of age. He sent mashed potatoes flying across the room with his mind, just missing Maggie. Though she had to scold him for making a mess, Fiona was delighted that he had magical talent because it meant that he would likely go to Hogwarts.
When Mordecai was eight years old, he asked about his parents, why they left him and where they were. Fiona smiled sadly at the boy, looking into his dark brown eyes and running a hand through his soft, obsidian-black hair. "Lad, your parents loved you. It was never that they did not want you. They left you with us so that you would be protected," she told him in her Scottish brogue.
"Protect me from what?" the boy inquired.
Fiona shook her head. "I don't know."
He sighed wistfully. "I just wish I could see a picture of them."
It was then that Fiona remembered a photo album that she had kept in the attic. It contained not only pictures of her as a child, but also of Minerva. "Lad, I have some pictures of your mum as a child. Let's take a look, shall we?"
He smiled with excitement and nodded. They went up to the attic and found the album. Fiona would not tell Mordecai his mother's name, but she told him several humorous stories relating to the pictures he was looking at. Then he spotted one of his mother playing Quidditch. "What is she doing there?"
"She is playing Quidditch for Hogwarts, of course. You'll understand in a few years," Fiona replied.
"Can you tell me what my father was like?" he asked with curiosity.
She sighed and shook her head, knowing that he would ask that eventually. She decided to let her suspicions on his identity rest for the moment. "I'm sorry lad, but I never met your father and your mum never told me anything about him."
"Oh," was the boy's quiet response. "Some day I'll find out who he is. I'm going to play detective like Sure-lock Homes."
Fiona laughed. "That's 'Sherlock Holmes.' I'm beginning to wonder if letting you read those muggle mystery stories was such a good idea,"
One of the happiest days in his life was the day that his Hogwarts letter arrived. He had picked up the mail from under its slot in the front door and atop the pile was a letter for him. Immediately setting the other mail down on the kitchen table, he read the letter and soon a bright smile spread across his face.
Gregory found him at the table and peered over his shoulder. "Looks like you have finally got your letter. Hey mom, dad, Mordecai has his Hogwarts letter!"
They were shortly joined by Fiona, Thomas, and Maggie. "You're too quiet. When I got my letter, I was running through the house shouting about it," Maggie relayed as they all congratulated him.
"You know he's just a quiet boy," Thomas mentioned.
Fiona grinned and put a hand on Mordecai's shoulder. "I'll take you to Diagon Alley later to get your supplies, lad," she told him. And I hope that you finally find out who your parents are. I think she is glad to know how well you've turned out, Fiona reasoned, deciding to write to Minerva as soon as possible.
(My thanks to Leta McGotor, excessivelyperky, and Underground () for reviewing :D)