Someday We'll Know
if love can move a mountain...

"Grace." Eli was speechless. He could only whisper her name for fear the moment they were in would be lost forever. He felt a contentment he'd never known before. He didn't want to lose that so he sighed and kissed her cheek. He felt her relax in his arms and he knew what he had been missing in his heart all these years.

Grace mindlessly ran her thumb across the back of his hand. He came here for her. Everything was against them as it had been from the beginning and yet he came to her with no hesitation. They'd always had an inexplicable bond and time didn't change that. They tried to fight it, they ignored it for years but still it remained. She never knew the way it felt to be safe in Eli's arms until now and she never wanted the feeling to end. 'Contentment. Pure contentment.' She softly gasped as she realized why Eli was around in the first place. 'Geoff. What do I tell Geoff?' The reality of the situation began sinking in and Grace stiffened in Eli's arms.

"Grace, are you okay? Are you cold? If you are we can go inside. Mom will leave us alone if we need to be. It looks like a storm is coming. Maybe we should go inside." Eli could feel her tense body and he knew she wasn't okay even if she denied it.

He sighed. 'Of course we need to be alone. We have to figure out a way to talk about why my heart is pounding and my mind is spinning and why I cannot seem to breathe. Is this love? Is this really what love feels like? Wonder why I never felt this before when I thought I was in love?'

Grace took a deep breath and spoke. "No, I don't want to go inside. It's going to rain. I need to feel the rain." She knew she should explain and said a silent prayer she'd find the words.

Grace blinked back tears and sighed knowing she had to start somewhere. "Rain. The rain always reminds me of you Eli. You and that night. After all these years and I've never forgotten that night and the play. Somehow it's always stayed on my mind. You were the reason I put my heart and soul into that performance. I cried, basically broke down completely, and they all thought it was brilliant acting. I'd even said it was his teaching, his words of wisdom. I lied that night too. Those tears were for you...because of you. It had nothing to do with my acting skills. It was my heart breaking. You remember that night too don't you?"

Grace felt the change in Eli's breathing as she spoke and wished they were face to face instead of Eli still standing behind her. She knew he remembered that night and the days before. Jessie told her later that Eli regretted everything and hated himself for not being honest with Karen that night so he could see the play. Grace eventually forgave him in her heart but they never spoke about it or how it may have changed them.

Eli felt tears form in his eyes and closed them tightly, blocking their escape. He didn't want her to see him cry. He never wanted her to know the truth, the entire truth about that time in his life. 'I made so damn many mistakes. I have so many regrets.'

"I'm sorry Grace. I wanted to go that night for you. I promised you I would go. I was an idiot and was scared and didn't know how to stand up to Mom. I'd let her down again and I was sick of letting her down. I was a worthless idiot. I thought maybe I could have found another job before she found out the truth and then if I'd been there that night she would have known. I was a mess. I'm still a mess but I'm a little more of an organized mess now. I know, that is a contradiction but what can I say...I've always been a contradiction."

He tried to lighten the tone but knew it was hopeless. Nothing about the two of them has ever been lighthearted. "It was raining that night, I remember. I saw you in the kitchen with Mr. Dimitri and you were wet from the rain. I saw the look on his face and the look in your eyes and I...uh, whatever happened to him? Did you ever hear from him after he left?" Eli wanted desperately to change the subject and hoped Grace didn't realize what he was doing.

"I've gotten a few letters from him over the years. He's married now and has a child...a little girl. He says she's brilliant but in the next breath writes that he's completely biased and she has him wrapped around her finger even if she's only three. And you Eli Sammler, changed the subject. Why can't we talk about that night? Isn't it what has gotten us to this point in our lives? If it weren't for everything that happened those few days, weeks, wouldn't we be completely different people? It's the same with any situation a person goes through. Every moment is a life-altering moment. This, right here right now, is a life-altering moment." Grace sighed as moment after moment of her life flashed before her eyes pausing only an instant on the days to come. 'My wedding is a life-altering moment. Oh god, I can't marry Geoff. I have to tell Eli I can't marry Geoff. How? How can I tell him something like that without it sounding like I need something in return? Something I'm still not certain Eli could ever give me.'

Eli took a deep breath and turned Grace in his arms so she faced him. "Face to face remember? We need to do this face to face. You're right. I changed the subject. I've always changed the subject when it comes to that time in my life. I was scared. I was an idiot. I was a mess...hell, I was beyond a mess. My life was going nowhere fast and everything I did only made it worse. I'd felt like I could talk to you if I needed to. I hoped you felt the same too. I still feel that way. You can talk to me about anything Grace and I feel like no matter what I could say to you right now, you would never judge me." Eli waited a moment deciding whether or not to continue. He knew he had to...he knew he couldn't hold anything back anymore.

"I've always felt that. Even when everyone else felt I was a screw up, I never once thought you did. I went out of my way to make sure I made it to the play that night. I was there and I was nervous. I was nervous because I didn't know what I would say to you but I had to be there. I had to watch you on stage. I had to see your talent and your beauty and watch everyone react to you and see if they reacted the way I do when you're in the room. And then I saw her. Mom was there and I freaked. I didn't know what to do. I took what I thought was the easy way out and I left. I should have stayed. I should have been more of a man and stayed. I guess I thought you might understand someday and could forgive me. I knew you'd hate me. That's what hurt me the most. You hating me killed me inside."

Eli stopped and brushed her hair out of her tear-filled eyes. He saw love in her eyes and knew his eyes spoke of the same love. He knew he had to continue but somehow lost the words. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to feel his lips on hers. He wanted to wrap his arms around her tightly and never let go. He knew he had to tell her he loved her first. He knew he had to explain everything before he could tell her he's always loved her.

"E? What? What is it?" As Grace listened to his words, it hit her like a ton of bricks falling on her head, knocking some sense into her. 'I love him. I truly love him.' She knew she had to wait and let him explain whatever he needed to explain before he lost his nerve again and she lost him forever. "You can tell me anything. Don't ever be afraid to talk to me Eli."

He took a deep breath and continued. "That time...those days all those years ago, I guess that's when I started backing away from you. I...I had to. I didn't know what else to do. I thought you hated me and I...I was...Grace. Hell, I don't know. I just don't know." Eli was starting to tremble with fear and stepped away from Grace. He couldn't tell her. He couldn't stand it if she rejected him. He hated not knowing. He was torn and completely lost. 'What do I do now?'