Author's notes...thank you so much for reading and thank you for your patience as real life has been getting in the way and I haven't been posting much lately. I hope you enjoy...I still own nothing of Once and Again, I own nothing of the song...I just love the two and love to write and wanted to share. Thanks so much for reading...
"Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain..."
"Come on E, time to go." He looked at his son, watchingas he stood firmly in the kitchen, not making a move to leave. "Say goodbye Eli. She'll be here tomorrow son." Rick practically had to push his son through the door before Eli chose to attempt another goodbye to Grace and decide never to leave.
The women gathered in the living room once Rick and Eli left. They moved furniture and placed sleeping bags in the room so everyone had plenty of space. Zoe turned the stereo on after gathering every CD she could find throughout the house and in various cars. They finally settled and silence filled the house.
Out of nowhere, Jessie started to giggle and looked at Grace. Grace smiled and found herself beginning to giggle as well. Soon the room was full of laughter. Finally, when the laughter died down, Grace said, "I never thought having a slumber party at my age could be fun but I think it really will be. Especially tonight. I was supposed to get married tomorrow...to the wrong man. Thank god Eli came home. If I hadn't seen him, I'd probably be at the rehearsal right now practicing my vows with...with the big idiot as Zoe likes to call him. Strange to be laughing after my world has been flipped upside down. It's a good flip but also a major flip."
Karen sighed, walked to Grace and said, "The perfect time to find some sort of laughter in your life is when your world is flipped upside down. Or at least the time in your life you need to find a smile." Karen hugged her and was thankful Grace came into Eli's life even though the circumstances proved to be difficult in her own life.
"Come on Grace, let's get some food." Zoe grabbed her sister's hand and they went into the kitchen. "What are we going to eat first? Wanna start with the ice cream? On the other hand, do we want the chips and cook the pizza? You decide Grace, it's your party." Zoe looked at her sister staring out the window and saw she had tears in her eyes. "Aww Grace, it's okay. He is not gone forever. Look what the two of you have been through and look where you are today. You have overcome your fears and your silly barriers and you've professed your love and decided it was now or never. You stopped wasting time and took advantage of the moment and now you're madly in love. No need to cry tonight Grace. You will be happy and in love the rest of your life now."
Grace sighed. "Dammit Zoe, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to."
Lily and Judy had made their way to the kitchen to help with the food and Judy asked, "Do we have to start singing now? I don't think you need to hear me sing." Lily laughed. "Let's get some of this unhealthy stuff and eat it before I realize how awful it is for us and change my mind."
They ate too much junk food, drank too many drinks, and now the women sat in the living room talking and laughing. Zoe decided she would become a nun no matter what she had to do because she didn't want to have to go through the horrors of dating. She was also mad that she and 'the pregnant woman' were the only ones not allowed to drink. Tiffany was terrified that her children would not be safe in the hands of all the men and fought the urge to call and check up on them. Jessie realized she missed Katie even more and finally found the courage to admit it.
"So Jess, who is it that has your heart? Who is the keeper of the key to your heart?" Grace asked, pausing only an instant before adding, "I think its Katie. I think it has always been Katie and I think it will always be Katie. She has grown up and so have you over the years and I do not see a thing wrong with the two of you back together. Look at Eli and me. Took us forever and here we are. Well, there we were because he is not here right now considering every one of you made him leave the house. Okay, I've had too much to drink but you understand exactly what I am trying so unsuccessfully to say. You love Katie, now do something about it." Grace sighed and took another drink. "I love these things." She said and grinned.
"Grace shut up. You have no idea what you're saying. Let's drop the subject and talk about babies or something. Hell, I'll even talk about Eli and how Zoe thinks his butt is sexy." Zoe hit Jessie on the arm and Jessie laughed. "Well, yes or now...did you say it was about time he finally got his sexy butt back here or something to that effect? Yes young Zoe you did. Now tell your sister how you think her man has a sexy butt." Jessie needed the attention off her and decided anything she could say would help her situation and didn't care if it stung.
"No. Jessie you are not changing the subject. Anyway, Zoe, I as his mother, do not want to know whether or not he has a sexy butt so we'll leave that subject alone. Zoe is off the hook and now it is my daughter's turn. Jess, sweetheart, I know every time there is something you do not want to face you run away and go for a drive. I have a feeling you go to Katie's house. Grace ended up at my house today after she heard Eli was in love with her. It's natural. It is the most natural thing in the world to do when something happens to upset you. You go where you feel most safe. For Grace, it was where Eli grew up. For you, your safe place is Katie's old house."
Karen had a feeling her daughter wasn't listening, but she continued...hoping for another miracle. "If you admit it, you will feel so much better. A weight will be lifted and then you will be able to do something about it. We knew. Exactly the same way we knew Grace and your brother were in love, we knew there was love between you and Katie. I am sure not one of us ever thought you shouldn't feel that way. Love is love and we should take it and never let it go once we're lucky enough to find it. I'm sorry. I'll be quiet now. I simply had to get that off my chest after all these years." Karen gave her daughter a hug and never expected her to speak. She simply wanted Jessie to know how she felt.
Jessie took a deep breath andbegan to explain, "You're right Mom. I have always been in love with Katie and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where she is because we lost touch after she moved. Maybe that was because I was afraid of everything I was feeling and was never completely certain she felt the same. She always hid a part of herself I could never reach. Maybe I just gave up on her and on us. I know, that was stupid but I didn't know what else to do. I still don't." A tear fell down her cheek.
Grace put her arm around Jessie and said, "Jess, I will help you do whatever you have to do. We'll find her. We will find Katie and once we do you'll know exactly what to say to her. You'll have your happily ever after too. Trust me, if I can find mine, anyone can." The girls smiled at one another.
"I cannot believe we all get along. I cannot believe I am able to have all of you as my friends." Tiffany spoke through tears of her own. "I have no idea why I am emotional right now. I expected all of you to hate me and never speak to me. I expected to be an outcast. I wasn't. Well, okay for a while I felt a chill in the air but after what happened, it was fine to get the chill. But now, I look around the room at all of you and I am baffled as to how I am sitting here amongst friends and family and feel like I belong. No, no one say anything. I just want to say thank you and we need to change the subject before I cry anymore. Thank you all so much." Tiffany smiled warmly at everyone in the room as she wiped her tears.
"I'll change the subject. Judy, I have to ask." Karen looked at her friend and smiled. "Why are you Judy Gluck? We had a discussion once about the what-ifs for you and Sam. You told me, rather emphatically, I might add, that you would never change your name for a man...any man. What happened to that?"
Judy took a deep breath and sighed. She looked around the room at the awaiting faces and realized they all had the same question. "I love him and I am still me. I am still Judy Brooks." She smiled at the confused faces and continued. "You still don't understand do you? See, I'd never been so completely in love that I would be willing to take a man's name when we married. That was something women did centuries ago and I was not about to do the same. Had I married Sam, goodness I would have been Judy Blue. Anyway, Will and I discussed this, many times after I went across the country to find him. He told me I didn't have to take his name. But it's only a name. We talked about having children and if I didn't take his name, our children would have a different last name than mine. That started to make me really think about it. Marriage and family is not about one person and their selfish reasons for not making aname change. Will said he loved me and that would not change no matter what my last name was. I surprised him and said I would." Judy smiled at the memory of his expression on his face and the rest of their discussion. "I always thought if a woman took her husband's name she lost herself...she lost the family she came from.She would not be the woman she'd always been and that is wrong in so many ways."
"But Judy, I didn't lose myself when I married Rick. Won't discuss my marriage to Jake. Thank god he's changed. With Rick, I ended up finding myself after I married him. Did you think I gave in and lost myself?" Lily questioned.
"No sweetie, I didn't. I suppose I started thinking that maybe I could get married someday and not lose myself in my husband and my marriage. I wondered if it could be with Sam and I honestly thought I could. That didn't end up working out though did it? You see, in the past I looked at my friends and I saw how strong we used to be and how determined we were. We all had such big plans and dreams. Nothing stood in our way of greatness or success. One by one, each got married and one by one I watched each one slip further and further away from the women they were...who we all were when we were together. They completely lost themselves and that terrified me. I wanted to be Judy Brooks forever, no matter what kind of man came into my life. I was me and no one could change that. Will did. He made me feel things I had never felt before. He made me realize there was passion, love, commitment, and a completeness I'd never found with anyone else. I took his name but I stayed Judy Brooks." Judy sighed and took a drink of her tea.
Grace stood, walked over to her aunt and said, "Judy Brooks Gluck, I love you. I really do" and gave her a hug.
"Well girls, I think it's time we got some sleep. I don't know about any of you, but I am tired. Exhausted really, and considering it is my party, I get to decide when it ends. Now is when it shall end. Night night! I love you all you know that right. I love every one of you. Thank you." Grace lay down in her sleeping bag and closed her eyes. Lily, Karen and Tiffany finished cleaning up the mess and soon all were asleep. Everyone was asleepexcept Tiffany who could not stop wondering how her children were in the hands of all the men.