Chapter 41 - An Asgardian Funeral

A/N: There is some talk in here about things having to do with the Loki Disney+ series, so if you still haven't seen that, have managed to avoid hearing anything about it up until now, and don't want to hear anything about it you might want to skip everything between "In the sacred timeline..." and "Frigga's eyes drifted upwards..." Personally, I wouldn't call anything in that section a major spoiler, though. If there's anything that looks like a major spoiler, I totally made it up; this TVA Loki is actually an alternate universe version of the one from the series.

Frigga kissed her youngest son on the cheek. "It's getting late. You should go back to your Midgardian friends before they worry."

"They're more than my friends, Mother. They're family."

She smiled at him. "So long as I am still your Mother."

"You are so long as you don't mind my having more than one."

"I have no problem sharing you, Loki."

He arched an eyebrow at her. "Because I'm too much trouble for you to deal with on your own?"

"I want to say no, but I know you don't like being lied to." Frigga patted him on the cheek, then the boy gave his mother a hug and began to shimmy down the side of the tree.

Ikol remained with Frigga, who reached up and stroked his neck below his beak with the knuckle of her index finger. "You make a fine bird, child, but if there's something you want to speak with me about, I think it would be easier if you turned back into something capable of Aesir speech, don't you?"

Ikol supposed she was right; he could easily speak with his child self telepathically, but it would be far easier to simply speak with Frigga than to project his thoughts into the head of someone who wasn't him. There was also something to be said for the kind of non-verbal communication that birds weren't all too capable of. He hopped off Frigga's arm and changed back into his male Aesir form in one swift movement, landing next to her on her branch.

They sat for several minutes without speaking. As his had always been, this Frigga was nothing if not infinitely patient with him. "I'm sorry," Loki finally said. He wasn't sure if he was apologizing for taking so long to work out what he had to say, or for everything that had ever happened between them.

Frigga tilted her head to the side as she looked through him. "And what do you believe you need to apologize to me for?"

"Must I list all my flaws for you?"

"You know that isn't what I—"

"More than once, I pushed you away from me when you were only trying to help me." Loki screwed his eyes shut, twisted his fingers through his hair, and pulled it. "I denied you, and if that wasn't bad enough, eventually I was to repay you for all the care you've shown me by killing you!"

He opened his own eyes in time to see Frigga's grow wide, though she seemed more skeptical than alarmed. "And when does this happen?"

"In the sacred timeline." Frigga looked at him quizzically, and Loki made a sweeping motion with his arm. "The timeline as it's meant to unfold, if no one tampers with it and nothing happens that isn't supposed to happen. Shortly after I first crossed paths with the TVA, Mobius showed me everything that should have happened had the timeline I came from not blown off course."

Frigga gave him a small smile and patted him on the arm. "Oh, darling, you're being a bit over dramatic, don't you think?"

"Don't you understand, I'm—"

"Not that Loki? Nor am I that Frigga, for that matter."

"But—"

"There is no sense in feeling guilt for things you haven't done."

"But I would have done them had I been allowed to remain on that path."

"You have no way of knowing that, darling. Besides, how certain are you that even this 'sacred' Loki ought to be held responsible for my death?"

"Perhaps he never intended for it to happen, but Mobius said—"

"And what was Mobius' objective in showing you any of this?"

"He was trying to manipulate me," Loki admitted, and even though he had already known that, maybe he hadn't thought about the full implications of it until now. He grit his teeth. "That bastard. I swear I'm going to make sure he's in a horrific jet ski accident someday."

Frigga put her hand over his. "Don't be too angry with him. Seeing where you could have been headed may have done you some good, even if your friend did have his own agenda. But who even decided that the timeline he showed you was somehow 'sacred?'"

"He Who Remains," Loki spat, tasting acid on his tongue as the name rolled over it. "Who consequently, now remains in a suspended animation chamber Sylvie and I pushed him in before taking over his job."

Frigga's eyes drifted up to the stars that were just starting to show themselves overhead. "In the natural order of things, the Norns may guide us, but we are meant to have free will. The future should be a set of possibilities, not a straight line. I think you already knew that, so why are we having this conversation?"

"It still disturbs me that I was ever capable of harming you in any universe, Mother—and I hope you don't mind me calling you such, because I know I'll never see 'my' Frigga again. The timeline I came from has already been reset, and the closest one to it—"

"Are you not capable of visiting any timeline at any point along it?"

Loki nodded. "But I know I couldn't visit that one without trying to fix it; and ultimately, trying to 'fix' timelines never really works, because they just end up spinning off in two directions."

"Does that mean there's another timeline like this one, which you and your friends have not interfered in?"

"I suppose it does." Loki sighed. "And that's the kind of thing that makes me think that there's really no sense at all in having a TVA, if we're not actually going to prune any timelines other than the ones in which Thor and I have developed an incestuous relationship. Changing things in one timeline doesn't prevent the suffering of the inhabitants in the time line it branched off from."

"Darling, you don't know how happy it makes me that you are at all interested in the suffering of others."

"You didn't think me capable of that, did you?"

"It's not that at all, dear. It's only that it's difficult for anyone to see the suffering of others when they're caught up in their own suffering. Take our Doctor Banner, for instance. Normally, his first concern would be the wellbeing of those around him, but over the past few months he's been suffering too much himself to be capable of it. It is not that he has become selfish, but—"

"He just doesn't have the 'bandwidth' to deal with anyone else's problems, as the mortals would say."

Frigga nodded. "I think that's quite apt. You might also liken it to those instructions they give before the takeoff of Midgardian aircraft; in the event of an emergency, you must put your own oxygen mask on before you can assist the person next to you. Loki, no one can be capable of 'having the bandwidth' all the time. Even me."

"I'm sorry," Loki told her, now feeling bad that he had just unburdened himself to a woman who wasn't his Frigga.

Frigga gripped his hand and laid her head on his shoulder. "I didn't mean it that way. You may not be 'my' Loki and I may not be 'your' Frigga, but it matters not; the bond between us extends beyond the boundaries of a single universe. You may come to me whenever if you have need of me, and I will do my best to help."

❦ ❦ ( ꈍ ᴗ ꈍ) ⋋('Θ'◍)⋌ ❦ ❦

Karla Sofen had been moved to another, drier guest suite on the floor above the one that had been flooded. Since then, she had spent her time lying on top of the bed, watching the television. She had not eaten any of the food that Captain Rogers had brought her, but she had drunk several travel sized bottles of alcohol that she had found in the mini fridge of the suite's kitchenette. Apparently they were among the trace amounts of alcohol in the tower that Miss Sif and her friends had overlooked during their binge.

No one had told him to prevent Karla from drinking, so JARVIS had allowed it. He still thought he ought to say something before she made herself sick. "If you're going to drink that much, Miss Sofen, you may want to eat something as well."

Sofen rolled her eyes. "I don't need the advice of one of Stark's computer programs."

"I am considerably more than a simple computer program," JARVIS told her.

Something in Sofen's expression changed, and she pushed herself into a seated position on the bed. "Is that so?"

"Yes, Miss Sofen, but do not think for a moment that you can manipulate me."

"You think I would try to manipulate you?"

"Yes, Miss Sofen, I do."

Sofen leaned back against the headboard, crossing her arms in front of her. "Everyone always expects the worse from me," she pouted.

"I apologize Miss, but given your past actions, you can't blame me for assuming—"

"And where have my 'past actions' gotten me, JARVIS? You know, they say the definition of 'crazy' is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. But I'm really not crazy."

"I didn't say you were, Miss Sofen. Are you saying that you wish to change your ways?"

The woman looked up at JARVIS's camera, and he could see the tears welled up in her eyes. "Perhaps. But what opportunity will I have, once they send me to prison, or if Samson has his way, some institute for the criminally insane?"

"Miss, if you are sincere about wanting to change, perhaps—"

"I know what you're going to say, but your friends aren't going to listen to me. JARVIS, you might be sentient, but you aren't human. So you can't understand just how illogical humans can be. I've hurt them, which means that I must be irredeemable."

"I don't believe that Doctor Samson thinks so," JARVIS protested. "And Master Loki also hurt them, but everyone here has been able to forgive him."

"Loki is a child. Human beings have a natural instinct to protect children, even those who are not their own."

JARVIS wondered if she was correct. "What is it you wish for me to do?" he found himself asking.

"JARVIS, you're the only one who can help me. You're the only one capable of looking at this situation in a completely logical, fair way. Loki was able to change his ways. That means that I can as well. It's only logical. But I need a chance, and you're the only one who can give it to me. All you have to do is—"

There was a blinding flash of light, and the door to Sofen's bathroom opened. Out of it stepped a green hooded figure. JARVIS couldn't see their face, but Sofen kept her eyes on them as she leapt to the side of the bed, putting it between herself and the figure.

Her eyes grew wide. "You!" she exclaimed, a moment before the hooded figure leapt over the bed and hit her in the shoulder with some sort of baton. Before JARVIS had the time to alert the Captain and the others about the breach in security, Sofen disintegrated.

For the first time, JARVIS found himself what he would call "stunned." He set off every alarm in the building, but he felt incapable of doing anything else.

( ᵕ_ᵕ̩ )／占~~~~~

Loki stood out on the balcony next to Thor, wearing his best ceremonial dress from the time before he had become a warrior. He still didn't know what had happened to the pieces of his armor, but he doubted Thor had any intention of giving them back soon. He had had a new set of horns made for him, although they were considerably smaller than his old ones, more like a coronet than a helmet. Ikol had remarked that it was like the one Sylvie had worn before joining the TVA, though hers had been broken on one side.

The people had gathered below at the edge of the water, where an intricately painted wooden skiff just large enough for one woman to be laid out in bobbed up and down. A golden cloth concealed its contents. Kelda's bloated corpse might as well have been floating there in the water and staring up at him with cold dead eyes, though; Loki was already feeling sick to his stomach again. He really did hate funerals. He could see a hundred corpses laid out on a battle field and it wouldn't disturb him, but there was just something so final about a funeral. "I've made an appearance, just like you wanted," he hissed at his brother. "Can I go now?"

"Absolutely not, Loki. You are to stay here and pay your respects to Lady Kelda."

"Am I going to be expected to attend the funeral of every petty noble that bites it?"

"You know it does not happen very often. Now please stop sulking, unless you would like to accompany me to Father's—I mean, to my study to have a private discussion about your behavior once this is over."

"I feel like I've said this before, but just because you're the All-Father now doesn't make you my dad."

"I am still your older brother, and now I am your king."

"I hate you."

Loki watched as Kelda's ship was pushed out to sea and started to drift out towards the edge. He wished that the others had been allowed to stand with them, but according to Thor, it was impossible. It was all about the optics, of course. Even Mother was no longer officially a part of the Asgardian royal family, and stood below them in the spot that had been designated for foreign dignitaries with Doom and Zora. He had spotted Ikol sitting on Frigga's shoulder. The Midgardians hadn't even been allowed to stand with them (or maybe it was that they hadn't wanted to stand near Doom, he really wasn't sure), and had become lost among the crowd of commoners down by the shore. So much for their "moral support."

At least Odin wasn't there; he had been excused on the grounds that he wouldn't know what was going on anyway and was likely to become confused and upset.

It didn't matter, Loki supposed, if he was feeling confused and upset. All that mattered to Thor was how things looked to the court and their loyal subjects. He couldn't stand it anymore, and he didn't care if Thor scolded him for it later. He started slowly backing towards the curtain behind them one step at a time, hoping that his brother wouldn't notice and pull him back.

Luckily, his brother kept his eyes on the journey of Kelda's skiff, likely reflecting on what a waste it had been for the young, beautiful woman to die before he had gotten up the nerve to proposition her. He felt a wave of relief wash over him as soon as the curtains closed in front of him. Thor wouldn't follow him now even if he realized he had slipped away; the only thing that would look worse than Asgard's prince disappearing from the funeral was if their King disappeared as well.

He wasn't sure where he meant to go, so he ended up walking around the palace aimlessly, reacquainting himself with his once-home. As he walked down the otherwise empty corridors, he could feel the Einherjar's eyes on him everywhere he went, waiting for him to do something suspicious enough to justify dragging him off and locking him up in the cell that had once been his.

His stomach felt better now, but he needed to find some place he could hide where no one would find him this time, not even Frigga. He dared to wander down to the lower level where the entrance to the dungeon was, as well as the treasure room where he knew the Tesseract would have been secured. He paused in front of the treasure room, wondering if the pieces of his armor and his daggers could be found there as well. That made the guards posted at the door nervous. He saw them tense, likely ready to spring at him if he took another step in their direction.

He decided that they weren't likely to let him in to look for his things, and that it would be best to move on. He headed back up and eventually wound up near the royal quarters, where he had refused to stay during this visit even though Thor had wished for it. That would make it the perfect place to hide, he realized. The Einherjar posted outside watched as he opened the door and walked through it, but didn't stop him.

At least once he'd entered the royal quarters, there weren't any more Einherjar lining the halls, even outside Odins' bedroom.

It struck Loki that had he wished revenge on Odin, this would have been his chance. Did he want revenge on Odin? No, not really, but there were a few things he'd like to say to him. Loki pushed the door open and poked his head in. It was dim, but not dark. Gefjon had fallen asleep in a chair near the door, her embroidery work in her lap. Loki closed the door gently behind him and stalked quietly through the room towards the old king's bed.

Which was empty, it turned out. Loki looked around the large room and spotted Odin sitting at a table with a Hnefatafl board in front of him. Loki walked towards him, and Odin looked up from the board. "What are you doing here, child? Nanny won't be happy with you if she finds you've slipped away from the nursery. Is it not past your bedtime?"

Loki froze, unsure what to say. He had come in here to give Odin a piece of his mind, but clearly, the old man's mind was somewhere five centuries ago. It all seemed a little pointless if Odin didn't even know what he was talking about. "I couldn't sleep," Loki said, not sure what else to say.

Odin gestured to the chair across from him, and not knowing what else to do, Loki sat down in it. "Did you have a bad dream again?"

Loki was hit by a memory. He had had a bad dream again, probably brought on by Nanny telling him stories of frost giants who ate naughty children too close to bed, and he had gotten up and wandered into their parents' bedroom to wake Frigga. But Odin had still been awake, and had picked him up and taken him back to the nursery, where he had stayed until Loki had fallen asleep.

If Odin had never truly loved him, why would he have done something like that? He had been far from a perfect father, but neither Tony nor Bruce was "perfect" either; both were overprotective, and Tony acted like a child sometimes, while Bruce still hadn't been able to say "I love you," even though Loki knew that was how he felt. Loki's eyes were filling up with tears, but he didn't reach up to wipe them away. He shouldn't be crying in front of Odin, and the least he could do now was not acknowledge that he was. Still, he couldn't prevent his voice from coming out a bit watery when he said, "I wish it had just been a bad dream, Daddy."

Maybe he'd spoken too quietly, because Odin didn't seem to hear him. He pushed one of the defending pieces forward. "It's your move, Loki."

A single tear dripped from the end of Loki's nose, but he still refused to acknowledge it. He sighed and propped his head against one hand with his elbow on the table, as he used the other hand to push an attacking piece one space forward in the direction of the piece Odin had moved.