Author's notes and disclaimer...I own nothing of the brilliant show Once and Again and I own no part of the song Someday We'll Know. I've just borrowed parts of both and added my own twist. I want to thank everyone reading and thanks so much for your replies...they keep me going and make me want to write more! Thanks so much for your kind words. This fic is almost finished but I definitely have more I can post and I've been writing again! Something I haven't done in a while...something I've realized I missed! Thanks again, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon

Standing in their spot in the yard, Eli put his arms around Grace and held her. He was worried about her. When he walked in and saw her trembling hands he knew the phone call was much more difficult thaneither imagined it would be. 'If I hold her maybe it will help. I don't think she's trembling as much as before. I need help with this because I don't know what to say.'

"E, what were Jessie and Zoe talking about? What do you have to tell me?" Grace was upset over her phone call but finding out Eli had been hiding something from her was definitely worse. They could discuss Geoff later. Whatever Eli was hiding had to come first.

Eli let go of Grace and took a step back so he could clearly see her face. "Zoe and I talked about...well, about why I never came back." He saw her tense expression ease a little but knew it may not last once she knew what he had done. 'Not that I did anything horribly wrong. I was just a total wimp and didn't trust in my love..or hers.' With a sigh he apologized. "I'm sorry Grace."

"Sorry? For what? What happened?" Grace was getting more and more confused and he wasn't helping any.

Eli took a deep breath and slowly let out a long sigh. "I didn't trust in our love. I didn't believe in my love, your love, or the love we could have together, and I stayed away. Well, not technically stayed away but you never knew I was here. Hell, Zoe thinks it was only twice but she's wrong." He saw the confusion, kissed her cheek, and continued. "I came back. Granted, it was in the middle of the night most of the time, but I still came back. It seems Zoe caught me twice. All I would do was come home, look at the house a while sometimes hoping I would see you and then I would go back. I missed you Grace. I missed this big old house. I missed Dad, Jess, Zoe and your mom. I even missed thatstupid garage. I hated being away from here. I mean, I loved what I was doing...what we were doing as a band. We're making records Grace...it is what I always wanted to do. Music is and always has been everything to me. I didn't have anyone to share it with and I wanted to share it with you especially."

He paused, knowing his next words would be the most important words hecould possiblysay. "You were always there to give me confidence in myself even if you never realized you did. I wanted to call you and tell you what we were doing. I wanted to come home. I wanted to see your beautiful face, gaze into those gorgeous eyes of yours and tell you everything. I never had the guts to. I never found the courage to knock on the door much less walk through it. I never had the courage to pick up the phone and call you. I could have visited you in college but I never did. I didn't want to interrupt your life or your happiness no matter how much I knew I loved you. Zoe was right...I didn't trust you or our love enough to take the leap. I stood at the edge of the cliff for years but never tried to fly. Now I feel like a complete idiot for not taking the chance to fall hopelessly into love with you." Eli turned away because he could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes and still didn't want her to see what he often thought were weaknesses. Some things would never change. He never knew she thought he was more of a man to show his feelings than to hide them.

Grace felt her heart in her throat. She never knew Eli felt that way. She never knew any of it. He's loved me for so long and never knew I loved him back. He was afraid of rejection and being even more alone so he never tried. He is a man now but still a boy in so many ways. Just like I am still Gracie even though I hate to admit it.

Grace touched his hand and moved so she was standing in front of him. She placed her other hand on his cheek, raised his head so she could look in his eyes, and softly said, "Eli, don't ever be afraid to tell me how you feel. Had you jumped I would have been there with you. I guess you never knew that though did you. You never knew because I was never brave enough to tell you. We are a sad pair aren't we? Neither found the courage to express our love until it was almost too late. I may have waited until today to tell you had I not heard Zoe yelling at you." Grace smiled warmly. "Where would we have been then? The minister would have said his line 'speak now or forever hold your peace' and I would have uttered my objection the same time you objected. You could have run to the front of the church, grabbed me, and pulled me into a breathtaking earth-shattering kiss and we would have heard gasps all over the church. It would have been priceless but what a spectacle. No, spectacles I don't need. Instead, we had a beautiful movie moment in the rain with just the two of us. That was truly priceless and unforgettable. You didn't have to follow me there. That took courage. Showing up this weekend took courage Eli. You wrote me letters and you always signed them 'love E'."

Grace paused a moment and felt the tears forming in her eyes. She dropped her hand from his cheek, sighed, and slowly continued. "I could have said something years ago. That rainy night after the play...we should have spoken. I was so angry and hurt. All I could think about was the fact that you lied...again. You said you would be there and you weren't. I should have yelled at you. I should have gone to the garage that night and let you have it. I could have gotten rid of all that anger and who knows what may have happened in the heat of the moment. Would we have been ready for it all those years ago though? Probably not. I wasn't ready to love you. I don't think you were ready for true love with anyone, much less me. I know, it sounds harsh but we were in no shape to begin a relationship all those years ago. It would have been a disaster." Grace saidas though she were thinking aloud.

"You're right. We would have been a disaster then. We would have ended up hating one another I think. Wonderful and perfect in the beginning but with everything we had yet to do in our lives and the growing left to do, you and I may have never survived. I suppose that is the reason why we're here now. I love you Grace. I apologize for never coming home for a real visit. There are so many other things I need to apologize for Grace I don't know where to begin." He sighed and took her face in his hands. He scattered butterfly kisses all over her beautiful tear-filled face. She sighed and held on to him as if she was terrified he would leave whileknowing in her heart he would always be there. They stood there a moment holding one another before he found the courage to speak.

"Grace, are you okay? I couldn't help but notice you were upset after the phone call. Who wouldn't be upset in your place? Can you talk about it? Would it help? Grace I want to help you if you'll let me." Eli pleaded.

Grace took a breath and looked away. "I don't know if I can E. I'm not certain I can handle reliving it right now. Eli, he was so hateful. I never dreamed he could be that horrible." She shook her head and fought the tears she didn't want to fall. 'I can't let myself cry over Geoff. He isn't worth it.'

Eli held her close and softly spoke. "Sweetheart I only want to help. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. You said I shouldn't be afraid to tell you anything and I want you to know you have no reason to keep anything from me. If there is anything I have learned the last few days it is the fact that no matter how scared you may be, you need to talk and express everything you're feeling and thinking. I learned the hard way but hey, I still learned. I may be hardheaded most of the time but occasionally something sinks in and makes sense. I love you Grace and I will bet there isn't one thing he said to you that is the truth. You know the truth in your heart and that is all that matters." Eli took a deep breath and quietly said, "You are all that matters to me. You are my heart, my truth, my life."

She looked into his hazel eyes she was never able to understand years ago and realized she could now see through them to his soul. Grace now kneweverything that was in Eli's heart. She knew she could tell him anything and he would understand, he would help her through it; he would convince her everything Geoff said he said out of anger, hurt and confusion. The phone call somehow didn't seem to mean anything anymore. She knew she had to tell Eli what was said, or she could never completely forget. "He said he hated me. Geoff told me he never loved me and the two years we were together, he was using me. He said I was nothing and would never be able to love anyone. Said I was terrible in bed. He told me you could never be faithful and you would leave because that was the only thing you knew how to do. Then out of nowhere Geoff said you and I had been having an affair since high school when you moved into this house and I used Geoff simply to hide the fact you and I were together." Grace sighed and realized Eli was smiling. "Why are you smiling? That really upset me Eli. He was hateful and that's not even the worst of what he said."

Eli stopped her and said, "Grace, you know that not one word of that is the truth. Maybe you didn't know that when he said it, but you know it now as well as I do how ridiculous it sounds. He's mad and well, he has every right to be I guess. Maybe in some twisted way you and I did have an affair. We've always been in each other's hearts and minds which to some people constitutes an affair of some sort. Bizarre but has happened. He was never able to completely get to your heart and he is angry with you because of that." Eli paused a moment and then said, "When did I become so philosophical? What has happened to me this weekend? I've been possessed." The two laughed and hugged as Lily stepped out the back door. She cleared her throat before speaking.

"I see the two of you are okay now." Eli and Grace broke apart and both nodded their heads as Lily continued. "They filled me in. I wish you had come inside Eli when you were here those two times. You know you're welcome here anytime you want. No matter what has happened in the past, you need to remember you are always welcome here. I'm going to pick upyour brother. I am sure he's ready to come home. You will both still be here right. He will need to know something...doesn't need to know everything but you will have to tell him something. When are you going back Eli? No, never mind. No need to think about that right now. You two behave." Lily smiled, waved, got into her car and left. Eli smiled a wicked smile while thinking Lily should know we don't want to behave. Grace smiled back and leaned in to give him a kiss. 'Mom doesn't need to know everything.'