Heh...Don't hurt me.

Chapter 5 Contemplation

December 23.

Raven had spent the last two days in silent and on-going meditation; eating, fighting, and sleeping robotically, for no other reason than to avoid suspicion and sustain the energy to keep going.

Many thoughts crossed her mind in those forty-eight hours, but for the most part, she found herself continuously arguing in her mind. One moment she was sure, the next she was doubtful, and in seconds, she was completely clueless again. It as unbelievably tiring and had worn her patience paper thin.

Waking up from her industrious sleep, Raven gazed up at the patterns on her ceiling, breathing even and eyes solemn. To her surprise and shame, the empath was wearing the gray hoody, as she had the night before. More than once she had thought about trying to find him to give it back; he could have become seriously ill from his little act of selfless stupidity. She had already realized that she needed to keep it, however. It was her only piece of evidence, her one key to cracking the mystery.

An agitated groan escaped as her eyes squeezed shut against the dull ache in her head. Enough thought! She had done nothing but think for the past two days; it was time to put the thoughts to action and get some real answers. It was the only way to know for sure.

Raven entered the christmas wonderland formerly known as their kitchen, wary yet determined. Unsurprisingly, Robin was sitting at the kitchen table, gulping down coffee and attempting to read a magazine. She cleared her throat slightly, and his head jerked up in shock. It was clear that he had been dozing off.

"Oh...um, good morning, Raven."

Raven nodded, stepping up to the stove to heat the kettle, since she was the only one that used it over the microwave. The same old thought processes started over again as she felt Robin's gaze on her--it made her skin crawl in agitation, reminding her of all that she didn't know and couldn't find out. With a nervous start, she realized that she was still wearing the hoody, its sleeves falling past her fingertips. Nerves quickly melted into anticipation. If it was his...

Raven poured the boiling water over the teabag, then turned around and leaned on the counter, eyes fixed on Robin. Her sudden movement seemed to startle him, and she only just caught his head jerking away, mask staring down at his magazine. As she studied the subtle details of his face, she saw the slight dark tint to the skin beneath his mask, and the red tinge of his nose and cheeks--if that wasn't enough, his voice had been thick and hoarse...all signs of a cold. Raven's heart sped up in anticipation.

Fighting to maintain her usual bored tone, Raven spoke slowly and carefully. "So, what have you been up to lately?"

Robin opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut off by a gut-wrenching cough. He bent over slightly, fighting to control it enough to speak. "Um...nothing much, just...you know." He cleared his throat, drinking deeply from the coffee mug.

Raven raised an eyebrow. More stuttering...and if she could have seen his eyes, she was certain they would have been darting nervously around the room. Her breath caught. Eyes...

When he coughed again, Raven found her next angle. "Cold?"

Robin shrugged. "Nah, just...kind of stuffed up...the weather, I guess. I'm fine, though...It should be gone soon, I usually get sick in the winter, well not so much here, but in Gotham, the snow..."

Raven watched the red spread over his entire face while Robin rattled on at top speed. Her suspicions grew, though she fought to keep an open mind. Now was not the time to be blinded to all possibilities. She had to be careful, otherwise everything could come crashing down arond her ears. Clearing her throat and taking a sip of tea, she glanced out the window casually. "My abilities protect me from most illnesses. I could live outside without really weakening at all." She tucked her hands deep into the pockets of the gray hoody, turning back to face Robin. "I love the cold, the snow. It's so peaceful." She watched him carefully, analyzing for any sign...

Robin relaxed slightly, his grip on the coffee mug loosening as the worry lines on his forehead faded. Now he was the one watching the window, a dazed expression on his face as he gazed out at the pure white city. "It numbs it."

Raven's eyes widened, glancing from the window to his face. She wondered if he was even aware of what he had said...wondered if she dared to push any further. "It numbs what?"

Robin's head snapped up, every muscle visibly tightened. "Um...nothing. I-I just meant that...uh..." He swallowed hard, looking as though he was about ready to bolt.

Raven's mind was racing, desperately searching for a way to keep him here. If Robin left now...she might never know the truth. Deciding that the best way to do that was to avoid eye contact, Raven turned to the sink and started rinsing last night's dishes, humming quietly and pretending that nothing was out of the ordinary. Honestly, she had almost made up her mind as to who the hoody belonged to...now she was just waiting for Robin to come clean. A sarcastic smile tweaked her lips. That should happen some time this century...

Robin seemed to like the prospect of a new and less threatening subject, since he was quick to offer one. "So, um...what do you want for Christmas?"

Raven froze with a plate halfway to the counter, eyes opened to their full extent as Robin's words bounced around the quiet kitchen. Had he really just asked that? Had he gone completely insane? That was a question that parents asked little four-year-olds, because they liked to watch them bounce around in excitement. Why, why would Robin be asking her that?

...More importantly, what was the answer?

Raven set down the dish slowly, picking up her rhythm with a show of ease. "I haven't thought about it, Robin," she muttered. Well...I guess honesty is sometimes the best policy, she thought.

"What?" Robin seemed genuinely surprised, though she couldn't see hisface. "Why not?"

Raven sighed, frustrated with his failure to take the hint. "Because it doesn't interest me." Again, bluntly honest.

Robin was quiet for a moment, and Raven couldn't help thinking about the deep blue orbs as she felt his gaze on her back. After what felt unbearably long, he tried again, sounding distinctly nervous. "If it did interest you..." he sopped, stuttering quietly as though deciding whether or not to ask the forbidden question twice. "...If it did, what would you want?"

Raven set down the dishes in defeat, turning to face Robin, who was now biting his lip nervously. She rolled the idea around in her mind, considering it carefully...but still, she felt no desire for material things. There was something wanted, though.

Looking directly into his shielded eyes and feeling open before them, Raven's response came slowly and deliberately.

"Honesty."

She didn't wait for an answer, but sank into the floor, leaving him to think it over.

Raven was breathing hard by the time she had slipped back into her room, pale cheeks tinged an angry red as she jerked off the gray hoody and dropped it carelessly to the ground. Falling onto her bed, she gripped her head tightly in her hands, eyes squeezed shut though she still saw him in her mind's eye. She had come here to rationally consider everything that had happened and analyze the information, yet here she was, feeling anything but rational.

Robin.

How could it be Robin? Uptight, obsessive, secretive Robin? Her bossy leader? Her at-arms-length friend? How could Robin be the boy who had made all those dumb jokes and even laughed at her dry ones? How could her fierce leader have touched her so...

Raven raked her hands through her hair with an agitated sigh as she remembered that morning; dream-like and hazy as it was, there was no doubt that it had happened. The hoody proved that.

The hoody... It glowed black and drifted upwards to flop on the bed next to her, limp and innocent. Some part of her had known the truth from the instant he slipped it over her head. The smell that lingered on the material...it was distinct and unmistakable, the very same she had noticed the few times she had been close to Robin. Her heightened and perceptive senses could never miss something as basic as that.

Placing a tentative hadn on the gray material, Raven gazed thoughtfully inward as the idea rolled around inside her. Logic rebuked her gently for her cemented assumptions about Robin, while Forgiveness whispered that anyone could change. Bit by bit, she found herself truly grasping the idea of Robin as a flesh-and-blood human being, not an emotionless entity.

With realization came an overwhelming ache to know more. The violent want for some kind of record of all their meetings, just so she could rethink the information from this new perspective, sprang up in her chest. Everything had changed, now that Richard had become Robin.

Wait, some small part of her whispered. What if it isn't Robin?

It is, Raven retorted. I'm sure it is...

A moan escaped her as she fell back on the bed, the heels of her palms digging into her eyes.

Hum...yeah next chap will be the last. About Raven's attitude to Robin...remember, this is before any episodes when their relationship developed...she knew basically nothing about him then. Anyway...review?