Cmdr. Lee Adama glanced at the large stack of papers on his desk and sat back in his chair. He needed to approve the Pegasus duty logs from the past few days, but his heart wasn't in it. His heart hadn't been into much of anything these past few weeks.

Lately, his relationship with Lt. Dualla had been moving into a whole new arena. It started as a wonderful friendship, which evolved into a great playful romance... and now--- it seemed as though Dee wanted it to be a little more serious. He loved being with her, he loved every time they were able to get together, but he wasn't sure that he loved HER. He didn't want to jeopardize what they had by telling her his feelings, but he knew it wasn't fair to keep playing around either.

And then there was Kara.

To say their relationship was "complicated" was a serious understatement. Never before had anyone taken him to such heights and pushed him to such lows. Some might argue that he was a fool for feeling anything for her, because she had pushed him away on so many occasions.

Lee constantly replayed one scene in his mind from six months ago--- when Kara returned from Caprica with Sam Anders, a professional pyramid ball player who led the resistance movement on the doomed planet. She not only made a point of showing Lee that she felt something for Sam--- she rubbed his face in it, practically tearing off Anders' clothes right in front of him.

"You're not still frakking Dualla... are you?"

Those words from Kara stung at the time, but not as much as the ones that followed.

"I mean, I'm not one to lecture or anything because I'll do just about anything to get into the pants of some hot little young thing," she had laughed.

He loved her laugh. It normally made his heart jump. But with those words, her laugh cut him to the bone. It was a reminder that she clearly didn't want him.

Once she'd practically attacked Lee, saying she wanted him and acting like an animal. He still remembered every touch, every smell--- and he wanted it to be special, wanted to savor every moment. But he was too slow for her. She literally pushed him away and practically accused him of being a wimp. And then came the clincher. Her hurtful words: "There is no us. There is nothing here."

Lee shut his eyes and cursed under his breath, "Lee, stop. Move on with your frakking life." He tried to push thoughts of Kara out of his head and reached for the first duty log.

He didn't lift his head when he heard the knock at the door.

"Come in." Someone entered the door and closed it.

Lee continued to stare at the report. "What is it?"

"It appears a commander's work is never done." The tone was sarcastic, and slightly uneasy.

Lee looked up at the sound of her voice. Kara was standing on the other side of his desk. She looked into his eyes for a brief moment before shifting her gaze to the other side of the room. As much as he hated himself for it, he was glad to see her.

"Kara. What brings you over to my little kingdom?"

Kara laughed. But it was nervous laugh. "Kingdom? Pegasus is definitely newer and perhaps a little bit more elegant than Galactica, but I would hardly call it a kingdom," she said a little too defensively. Her face suddenly got serious. "You've been over here too long."

Lee tilted his head with a slightly quizzical look. "Kara--- I was kidding."

She didn't let him finish before she started in again with a flash of anger in her voice. "I mean, just because you have a better looking ship doesn't mean that your ship is necessarily better."

"Whoa, Captain," Lee said as he stood up and moved to the front of his desk. "Can we call a truce here?" He put his hand on her shoulder and was surprised to notice that she was shaking. His voice immediately got softer. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She wasn't looking directly at him, but Lee could see that Kara was trying to fight back tears. He'd seen Kara in a lot of sticky situations before, but she had never appeared quite so scared. He wanted to pull her close to him and tell her everything was going to be OK. But he knew Kara, and he could tell that she would not allow him to get that close to her right now. Whatever was upsetting her was big. And he knew that if he tried to comfort her, she would push him away--- yet again. So he simply took her hand.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" he said softly.

Kara couldn't speak. Her head was swimming, and that wasn't helped by the fact that Lee was now touching her. She had told herself over and over again on the trip from Galactica to Pegasus that she would simply pop into his office, casually give him the good news, and tell him to stop by the pilot's lounge for a celebratory drink during his next trip to Galactica. But now that she was just inches away from him, she found that she didn't want to tell him about the engagement. But she also desperately didn't want to leave.

With her hand still in his, Kara tried to give a small smile and change the subject. She looked down at the stack of papers on the desk. "Is this what you do all day? Gods, don't ever make me a commander," her voice quavered.

Lee frowned. He was now sensing TWO emotions he'd never felt from Kara before: fear and apprehension. She was never afraid to speak her mind.

"Kara," he repeated. "What's wrong?"

A million thoughts rushed into Kara's mind all at once, most of them filled with unlikely scenarios. Perhaps she could figure out a way to get married to Sam without Lee finding out. Maybe she would tell Lee and he would laugh at her and tell her she was nuts. Or hopefully, a giant hole would open up beneath her right as she started speaking, and she would be whisked away into nothingness.

Or--- the absolute worst case she could imagine--- maybe she would tell him and he would be genuinely happy and excited for her, thus proving to her what she suspected all along--- that he didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him.

She shuddered. The giant hole scenario was looking better and better.

Lee noticed the shudder. Frak it, he thought, and moved to hold her. He turned her around so she was facing him and pulled her to him. To his surprise, she let him do it. He stroked her hair with his hand and moved his mouth closer to her ear.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he whispered.

That seemed to call her to attention. She jumped and moved away from him quickly. As she turned away from him, she gave a forced laugh. "Wrong? What could be wrong? I'm happier than I've ever been."

"You sure aren't acting happy."

Kara snipped, "Well, that just shows how much you DON'T know me. Because I am INCREDIBLY happy." Her voice cracked--- and she felt her face get hot. No Kara, she thought. Not NOW. Don't lose it NOW.

But she couldn't stop it. She burst into tears.

Lee was there in an instant, his arms around her. This made her cry even harder. He was at a loss--- she obviously didn't want to tell him what was wrong--- so he tried to lighten the conversation. "If this is you happier than you've ever been--- remind me to stay away from you on your bad days."

She pulled away and gave him a little smile. "Too late. You've already seen my bad days." She moved her hands up to wipe away the tears from her face, and noticed Lee stiffen almost instantly.

"What?" she said. "What is it?"

Lee reached up for her left hand and held it.

"This is new."

Frak, Kara thought. I didn't take off my ring.

"Oh yeah... I'm engaged. Great, isn't it?" She gave a small nervous laugh.

Lee turned around and walked back behind his desk. His voice was quieter than she'd ever heard it before. "That's great. I'm sure you and Sam will be very happy." He pulled another report off his desk. "Now if you'll excuse me--- you can see I have a lot of work to do."

Of all the scenarios that rushed into Kara's head... this was not one of them. He was just going to dismiss her? How dare he.

"That's all you have to say? Have a nice life, Kara--- I have work to do...?"

Lee threw the report on the desk and stood up. He yelled, "What do you want me to say?"

Kara felt more emotions right now in one moment than she'd ever felt in her life. She stared at Lee, infuriated and aroused at the same time. " Why don't you just say how you feel!" she yelled.

"I feel---- I feel---," Lee was shouting. He stopped for a moment and sat down in his chair. He looked directly at her. "It doesn't matter how I feel. You've made that clear."

Kara stared back at him. She couldn't leave this situation this way.

"Frak it," she whispered under her breath. She knocked the reports on Lee's desk to the floor and fell onto the desk, at the same time pulling him on top of her. She felt some initial resistance, but as soon as she pulled his lips onto hers, he gave in. His hands were on her face, her neck, her waist. She scrambled to find the buttons on his shirt... and pulled it off of him. He buried his face in her neck and moved his hands to the button on her pants.

"Gods, I want you so much," he whispered into her ear as she pulled her fingers through his hair. She could only moan in response. She softly bit his shoulder as he pulled off her pants.

"Lee... gods, Lee... I love you."

Lee stopped for a moment and looked in her eyes. She looked shocked at her own words. And more than a little scared. He'd never seen her appear so vulnerable before.

"I love you, too, Kara. I always have."

He gently kissed her on the lips, a kiss that grew stronger and stronger... until it felt as though he would lose himself inside her. Then, he WAS inside of her. Their bodies moved together as though they'd never been with anyone else. They both felt complete.

TBC