Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updates guys! I know I've been somewhat on a writing hiatus. Work's got me going up the wall with all these irregular shifts leaving me no time to write as often as I'd like. Plus I've sort of been out of inspiration but I'm back and ready to continue. Hope you guys haven't abandoned me yet!I've got six chapters today!

Oooh new reviewer whooo hoo! LOL TongueTwister hahaha I want Jill and Nathan to get it on soon too!

Her heart raced like a jack hammer. The temperature was below ten yet she felt like she was in a sauna. She had been pacing in front of the house for five minutes, not knowing whether she could muster up the courage to knock on the door.

"Okay I have to do it. Peyton grow some balls and just knock on the door," she whispered to herself as she stood in front of the mailbox.

She continued the ritual of walking midway up the driveway then walking back countless times. She would dare to be brave for a couple of seconds but it would diminish as fast as it came. She thought of what was going to happen if she did what she was set out to do tonight. That thought quickly faded as she shook it out of her mind. It was too painful and nerve racking.

"Why can't I do this?"

She chewed on her finger nails. A habit she had since she was a child. It was always brought upon by stress. Her nails were practically non-existent with all the worrying she had been doing. Just by standing out there was making her blood rise. Her frown lines were beginning to deepen with time. If she kept this up she'd have wrinkles by the time she was twenty.

"Come on Peyton, come on."

She began to shake and tremble. Partially because it was chilly out and she was only wearing a purple henley under her leather jacket. But mostly because she was having a hard time keeping her nerves in check. She was never really good at handling stress. If she wanted she could be the poster child for manic depressive teens.

"It's the right thing to do."

All she could do was stare at the window. A small lamp was shining through the glass giving the room inside a warm glow. She frowned knowing she would ruin the warmth in that room with her news. Tears were beginning to cascade down her face. She was a horrible person she thought. Why was it always her that brought drama and ruined things? She drove her mother to rush the red light. She broke Lucas' heart last year with her stubborn behaviour. She went behind Brooke's back and had a rendezvous with her boyfriend. She introduced Haley to Chris, ruining Nathan and Haley's relationship. She drove Jake away. With her luck she probably even had something to do with Nikki running off with Jenny. Peyton felt like she was the cause of all things gone wrong with the people she knew and cared about. Did she want to do more damage?

Wiping back her tears she reached in her jacket pocket for a kleenex. As she put it back she caught a feel of something, it had gotten caught to her bracelet. She pulled it out to find the charm her mother had given her when she was six. She wanted a bracelet like her mother's and so on her birthday her wish came true. It came in a black box wrapped in pearl white ribbon. It was too small for her to wear now, so she kept it in her pocket. Always at arm's reach.

She read the inscription.

"My dear Peyton, my beautiful baby girl," she started to tear causing her to fish for her kleenex again, "Always listen to your heart. It'll lead you in more ways than one. Believe in yourself always, my sunshine."

Peyton put the charm safely back in her jacket pocket. The charm was right, her mom was right. She needed to listen to her heart. That was the only thing that stayed true to her and there was no way she was going to go against it, not this time, not ever. Suddenly she felt more safe and sure of herself. She was no longer trembling, and she felt her feet moving towards the door.

Looking up at the sky she smiled, "thanks mom."

Concentrating back on the door she took a deep breath and walked towards it.

"It's now or never."