NOTE: Another tough chapter for L/K shippers… it'll get better, I promise….! But it may take me a couple of days to get another chapter ready--- this has been emotionally draining…

Chapter Eight

Kara was freezing. And the rain wasn't helping. Everything in Sam's tent was wet.

"Does it ever warm up down here?" she called out to Sam as she picked through a pile of clothing, trying to find something that wasn't damp.

Sam had a sarcastic smile as he entered the tent, "Welcome to New Caprica. I've been here for five months now, and no--- I've never seen the sun."

"Great," she mumbled under her breath, "I gave up my warm, dry Viper for this."

Sam chuckled as he attempted to put more layers on. "I'm going down to the market. Do you need anything?"

"A dry bed would be nice. I know dry underwear is a luxury, but I'd appreciate that as well. If they don't have that, ANY dry food would be welcome."

"How about semi-dry? I think I might be able to manage that." He walked up behind Kara and squeezed her. "I think our completely dry days are over."

"Great," she said somberly as she continued to sort through wet clothes.

Sam turned her around and said softly, "Hey. I know it's only been two weeks, but I'm starting to worry that you really hate it down here."

"You don't hate it down here?" she said incredulously. "Sam, this place is a dump."

Sam smiled, "Yeah, but it's our dump."

She groaned.

"Seriously, give me a chance, Kara. I'm just so happy to have you down here. I promise I'll do whatever I can to make you happy."

Kara softened a bit. "I'm sorry, Sam. It's not you. I'm just having a hard time adjusting." She looked around. "Things are just so different here. I'm sure I'll get used to it... eventually."

Sam kissed her and grabbed his coat. "I'll be back soon. Try not to get wet while I'm gone."

Kara pointed at him and said sarcastically, "Ha--- you're funny! I knew there was a reason I married you." She watched Sam as he practically bounced down the mud path to the market.

How can he be so happy?

And will I ever be happy again?

Somehow, she doubted it. She missed Galactica. She missed her Viper. And more than anything, she missed Lee.

She turned back into the tent and moved over to the clothes she'd been sorting. As she placed her hand on top of the pile, she stared at it... and flashed back to the last time she'd seen Lee, when he was holding her hand in Galactica's hangar bay. She could still feel his lips on her skin as he kissed it.

"See you later?" he had asked. Those words haunted her now. She wondered if Lee ever wanted to see her again.

She hated the way she left things. She didn't tell him that she'd gotten married. Nor did she tell him that she was moving to New Caprica. She just left, because she couldn't face him.

If she'd told Lee that she was planning to actually go through with the marriage, he would've talked her out of it. If she'd told him that she was planning to move down to the surface, he would've talked her out of it. And she still believed that this was the right thing to do, not only for her sake, but for Lee's as well.

She knew he knew by now. The Admiral undoubtedly told him. She wondered how he was doing.

"Kara."

Kara froze at the sound of the voice behind her. Did she imagine it? She didn't want to turn around.

"Kara." The voice was louder this time.

She still didn't turn around. "What brings you here from Pegasus, Commander?"

"I think you know." His voice was very controlled, but she knew him well enough to hear a hint of emotion---was it anger… or possibly sadness… or maybe both?--- beneath the surface.

She slowly turned around. Lee was staring at her, his blue eyes piercing right through her. He looked tired--- as though he hadn't slept in days--- but he still looked amazing. It took all of her strength not to run to him. When his eyes caught hers, they appeared to soften for a split second, like he, too, wanted to hold her. But they quickly hardened once again as he started to look around the tent.

"So," he said slowly. "I just had to see what the big draw was."

His voice was still controlled, but there was no mistaking the underlying emotion that time. He was angry.

Kara took a deep breath. "Lee---"

Lee held up his hand. "Don't." He walked over to the opposite side of the tent from where she was standing. But he never took his eyes off of hers. "I only have a couple of things to say, and then I'll leave you alone Kara."

Kara shuddered at the way he said the word "alone." Like she wasn't going to see him for a very long time.

"I just wanted you to know that I get it now. I understand."

She was almost afraid to ask. "Understand what?"

"I understand that you really meant it that time when you said 'there is no us.'" His jaw clenched right after he said those words. She could tell she'd really hurt him. He continued, "I tried to force the situation, and that was a mistake."

Kara closed her eyes. No, I made the mistake when I said those words, she wanted to say. But she knew that wouldn't solve anything.

"I also wanted to tell you that President Baltar offered me a chance to come down to the planet to act as an advisor."

Kara tried not to let it show, but that news excited her. Even though he hated her now, just knowing that he would be nearby gave her hope that they could one day be friends again.

Lee continued. "But I said 'no.' I think Gaeta is going to take the job. He's ready to leave Galactica, and already has one foot in the door with the President."

He gave a weak smile.

"You know, I tried to tell myself that I didn't want to come down here because I couldn't leave the exciting life of a battlestar commander. But the truth is, Kara, I just can't be this close to you."

She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "Lee---"

She stopped because she couldn't say what she wanted to say: Lee, I love you so much. But love is not enough for us. You're much better off without me in your life.

Sensing that she wasn't going to finish, Lee turned to leave.

"Lee," she called again as he reached the opening of the tent. He stopped and turned to look at her.

"I never wanted to hurt you," she said softly.

He stared at her for several seconds before replying. "And yet, you always seem to." He walked out.

A tear fell down Kara's face. "And that," she whispered, "is why I can't be with you."