Disclaimer: I Miss You - Incubus

Chapter 6: I Miss You (INCUBUS)

---

To see you when I wake up

Is a gift I didn't think could be real

So here I am alone again... Alone in a house I've lived with someone I knew or I thought I knew once. Someone I was used seeing in the morning when I wake up. Seeing her was more than enough for me. A fulfillment I would never give up for anything else. The strength that she seems to offer me just by seeing her face. It was enough.

Anna...

What am I thinking?

To know that you feel the same as I do

Is a three fold Utopian dream

I never really knew what she feels about me since she never even tried to tell me about it. I have absolutely no clue. But there is something in the way she acts towards me that assures me that somehow we share the same feeling. How can I know?

You do something to me

That I can't explain

Why am I feeling this way? I thought I would be over you in time...

But

...Just to find out that I failed.

Why did this happen?

Did I do something wrong?

Why did you leave me?

So many questions, but none that I could answer. I was slowly changing. I was not my usual self anymore. A lot of things are unexplainable. But you left...without even explaining a single thing. If I were to ask you now, would you explain everything to me?

So would I be out of line

If I said I miss you...

I pretended to be okay and I know I was only deceiving myself. I don't know whether to be angry at myself for letting you go or to you for leaving me hanging in midair. For until now, I am still waiting. It's going to take all my courage and letting my pride go just to say that...

I miss you. I really do...

I see your picture

I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine

You have only been gone ten days

But already I am wasting away

As I stare blankly at an empty space, I can't imagine which is much emptier. Is it the space that I stare at? Is it my heart?

No.

Maybe it was YOUR heart.

I was starting to get used to this empty house. Yet, some things just keep on reminding me that you once exist while I try hard to remind my self that you don't. It seems that I can always see you or feel you. Can anyone blame me for feeling like this? I even argue with myself because of the turmoil of feelings that you seem to evoke within me.

I know I'll see you again

Whether far or soon

Will I see you again? I don't know. But I am hoping as much as I could, as much as this could help that there maybe someday that you'll come knocking on the door and ask me to welcome you. Or perhaps it would be better if you shout at me again? I can bear with that...

Rather than bear this deafening silence because of you.

I know you will come back again. Someday.

Someday.

Someday.

But I neeed you to know

That I care

And I miss you

Will it be too late now? If shout at the top of my lungs that I need you? That I want you back? That I want you beside me now?

If so, I will be more than will be more than willing to do all these for you.

Just to have you back.

Would it also help that I tried to find you?

That I care?

That I miss you so much?

And that I love you?

Still?

---

A/n: revised as of 03/26/2007