Hiya everyone! Now this story is quite different to any other I have written although it doesn't follow my usual Draco/Ginny theme have going with my other stories.

This story was written by me and my friend Kathy during a boring English lesson yesterday. If you want to read any of Kathy's stories check out her account kittyluvr. She has written some good Harry Potter stories!

When we wrote this we took turns writing words. I would write one then she would write one and so on. The first word was written by me and so on.

Warning: This story is very crap and very random! (Hence the title)

Rated for language, sexual references and stupid themes.

-

Random

Ron picked at his food glumly. Across from him Hermione sat chatting animatedly to her fellow chums. Ron felt worse than usual. He had spoken to Hermione earlier.

"H, hi Hermione," he stuttered nervously. He had finally decided to tell her how he felt.

"Er . . . hi Ron," she said giving him 'the look'.

"I . . . I . . . um . . . Hermione I – er . . ."

"I'm waiting," Hermione said impatiently.

Ron gulped. "Well . . . uh . . . I – am going to have pickles for dinner!"

Hermione stared at him. Her look said it all. He had screwed it up again. He cursed himself for being such a dumbass. Pickles?

"Er, Ron? Are you feeling okay?" Ron realised that Harry was waving a hand in front of Ron's face.

"Uh yeah, sorry, what?" He could feel his ears burning.

"Why are your pickles untouched?"

Hermione tried not to laugh as Ron stuffed his pickles in his mouth and choked.

Harry thumped him on the back. "Are you alright mate? You don't seem yourself."

"Fine," Ron spluttered spraying Hermione with pickle juice. Hermione shrieked and Ron winced. "Sorry." This day seemed to just get worse and worse.

-

Ron dreamed of Hermione that night. She floated through his window on a bed of rainbows surrounded by sparkly butterflies. She stopped before him and started stripping. Drool dribbled down Ron's chinny-chin-chin as Hermione began the can-can in nothing but her lacy lingerie. Suddenly there was a loud POP! and Hermione turned into a pickle.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Ron bolting upright in bed.

Across the room Harry leapt out of bed shouting, "YOU CAN'T STEAL MY PARSLEY POTATO BALLS!"

The two boys stared at each other. Obviously Ron wasn't the only one with weird dreams.

-

Hermione tossed and turned, lost in her own dream. Ron was belly-dancing on a table in nothing but his boxers. She blew him a kiss from her position in her bed. Ron caught it and tucked it down his boxers. Suddenly he slipped on a banana peel and fell off the table. Hermione screamed because he was dead.

She woke up sweat pouring down her face. She raced into the boy's dorm to make sure the banana peel hadn't really killed him.

Ron looked up in shock as Hermione burst through the door. In an instant she was on top of him and they began making out.

"I love you Ron!" she cried.

"I love you Hermione!" he cried.

Harry looked on in wonder. If that's all it takes then he should confess to the parsley potato balls how he really feels.

THE END!

-

Okay, I admit it. It's crapness out rules it's randomness but I couldn't exactly change the title because I would get into trouble.

R & R please but no flames. We already know that it's crap and we wrote it purposely like that. If you didn't like it because of that you should've listened to my warning in my Author's Note at the beginning.

Thanks to those who enjoyed our stupid and pointless oneshot!

Tash