"..."

"Thought of anything yet?"

"No, you see, because I'm instead trying to think of ways to bother you."

"Grr, save yourself the trouble, Malfoy, I'm already bothered enough just being stuck in this stupid stair with you, and missing class."

"Great! All of the pleasure, none of the trouble! I might have to sell this secret to the other Slytherins: Tips for Annoying Granger, by Draco Malfoy. It'll be a book. I'll sell millions of copies."

"I won't be buying any stupid boo--ow! Hey! Why'd you pinch me?!"

"Chapter One: Pinching. A good way to begin to incense Granger."

"Malfoy, if I may ask, why is it that you like to bug me so much?"

"You may not ask, but, since I'm bored, I'll tell you anyway."

Sarcastic. "Oh, I feel so blessed."

"Thought you might."

"You going to tell me, or what?"

"I like to bug you so much because...you're so much fun to bug!"

"A little further explanation, please."

"Well, see, your face turns all red, and then you clench your fists, and your knees lock, and--you just look so--"

"Malfoy, why do you have to pick on me, of all people?! ...No, wait, don't answer that. Let me guess: it's 'cause I'm friends with Harry, isn't it?"

"Well, it used to be."

"What?! Well--what is it now?!"

"Not telling."

"Oh, come on, Malfoy, after that lead-up, you have to tell me why it is."

"I don't have to do anything, Granger. Or don't you remember who you're talking to?"

"Oh, that's right. Insufferable Malfoy. Doesn't answer to anyone except people he's afraid of."

"Bugger off, Granger."

"In case you've forgotten, we are trapped here, Malfoy."

"...Do we have to be lying here like this, I mean, I'd rather not be in full-body contact with you for this long, Granger. I might be ill."

"Oh, that's mature."

"Feel above you, will you? See if there's any room to move."

Rustle, rustle. "Nope, nothing. Geez, it's like a coffin in here. Thank goodness neither one of us is claustrophobic."

"What's 'clawstrophoobic'?"

"Afraid of small spaces."

"Ah...yes...um, yes, good thing."

"...This is awfully uncomfortable."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Granger, wouldn't have noticed otherwise."

"Shut up, Malfoy."

"No, don't think I will, thanks. Chapter Two: Sing Incessantly. Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do--"

"Oh, no, don't start this, Malfoy!"

"--crazy, all for the loooove of you! It won't be a--"

"Please, please shut up, Malfoy!"

"--marriage. I can't. Afford. A carrrrrriage. But--"

"Hey, Malfoy, feel this? Feel where I'm pinching you?"

"--upon the seat of a bicycle built--for twoooooooooo! Um...oh yeah! Here we come a wassailing among the leaves so green!"

"Oh, God, no, anything but Christmas Carols. Malfoy, know how my hand is right there?!"

"Ow!" Louder. "Love and joy come to you, and to you your--"

"Know where my hand could easily be if you continue singing?"

"..." High-pitched. "You'd do that?"

"Think about it, Malfoy. How well do you really know me?"

"Let's see, you're a stuck-up, stupid, bookworm, Mudblooded Gryff--OW!"

"Next one won't just be your leg."

"Chapter two: Conclusion. Do not attempt singing at Granger unless wearing appropriate bodily protection."

*********

A/N: Yeah, good way to conclude chapter two, ne? I thought so two. Wowza! I didn't expect to get so much of a response for chapter one. Thanks, guys!
Yeah, so, this fic will most likely be updated once a day. Size of installments will vary, depending on what these two are talking about. :D