"Do you have to swear?"
"Yes."
"Right. From now on, Malfoy, 'civil' will also mean 'no swearing,' okay?"
"How is it that you suddenly wound up making up all the rules, Granger?"
"You promised me, though."
"I'm obviously not going to keep my promise if you keep on adding clauses!"
"And I'm obviously not going to want to listen to you curse and insult me all day long!"
"All day?! Lord, I hope not. But, really, Granger, that doesn't mean that you should be allowed to make the rules."
"And who should, Malfoy? You?!"
"Malfoys are born to make rules. It's in our nature."
"Why do you keep on bringing up your family? It's irritating. Here we are, trying--for once in our lives--to have a civil conversation with one another--"
"There you go with the bloody 'civil conversation' again. Look, it's hard not to bring up my family with the way you keep saying my surname. In fact, it's distracting. I wish you'd bloody--stop doing it."
"Well, what else am I supposed to call you?"
"You could try my name."
"But--Pansy's the only one who does that."
"Please, don't bring up Parkinson now. I'm already queasy enough as it is, being in close quarters with you."
"But everyone calls you 'Malfoy.'"
"And why do you think I'm always talking about my family, hmm?"
"You mean...that's the only reason you're always bringing up your dad?"
"One of the reasons, Granger."
"...So what should I call you, if not 'Malfoy'?"
"My name is 'Draco,' you know."
"Cnnrf, cnnrf. Hee-hee-hee."
"What? I'm not tickling you again, am I?"
"No. Hee-hee. It's just. It's such a funny name. Hee-hee, sorry, I mean, I really am."
"First that wretched Weasley and now you. I don't see anything wrong with my name. It's strong, unique, dare I say..."
"Silly?"
"Well, it's not as if 'Hermione' is winning any prizes for stark conformity."
"...You...you said my name."
Awkward. "So?"
"I had no idea you knew my first name."
"I'm a prefect, Granger. It's my duty to know the names of--"
"Yeah, but--you haven't ever called me anything but my last name. I've always felt like I was in the army or something, you yelling insults at me and only saying my last name."
"And what would I be? Your drill sergeant? I'll have you doing push-ups for that slap you gave me in third year."
Snort.
"Was that a laugh, Granger? Funny, I thought friends of Harry Potter didn't laugh at Slytherins."
"Are you promoting Inter-House Unity now, too? Yes, I did laugh, if you must know."
"And why would perfect Hermione Granger laugh at evil Slytherin Draco Malfoy, if I may ask?"
"Because that must be the first time I've ever heard you make a joke that wasn't at the expense of another person."
"...Technically, it was at the expense of you."
"I'm not so hard-hearted that I won't laugh at myself every once in awhile."
"And I'm not so hard-hearted that I won't laugh at you every once in awhile."
Sigh. "There goes that civilized conversation we were having."
"Yes, well. Bugger it anyway. It was too weird for me. While I'm at it, bugger you. No, that implies something too awful: go bugger yourself."
"You're mad at me again."
"I'm always mad at you."
"You weren't just a minute ago. Why are you mad at me again?"
"You were making fun of my name."
"Oh, now that's petty for you."
"Please! Like you've never gotten touchy about your name."
"I haven't."
"Or how about this: ever get touchy about your study habits? I heard a rumor you never leave the library except for classes. Got a little cot set up in the back. Gone cross-eyed from staring at books too long."
"Shut up, Malfoy."
"See? Little things can be important to a person."
"But that's--that's about what I do, how I act. Something I control. You can't control your name."
"Let's try this: do you ever get annoyed when people call you 'Bookworm'?"
"Of course I get annoyed, what kind of stupid question is that?! It's an awful thing to say about a person, implying that I never--"
"But you can't control your nickname, Granger. So why get upset over it?"
"..."
"Look, Granger, when your mother addresses you as her 'Little Dragon,' you tend to be a bit touchy about it, okay?"
"Hee-hee. She still calls you that?"
"Yes. Oh, damn, now I've given you fuel for blackmail!"
"Ha! You're right! Let's see, what will I make you do...Ha! You're going to tap-dance on the Teachers' Table in the Great Hall!"
"What?! You can't make me do that, Granger!"
"Sure I can. In a pink tutu. With frills." Laughter. "Otherwise everyone's going to hear about the wittle dragony-wagony..."
"What!"
"No, wait, wait! This is too good! I'm going to make you announce your secret engagement to Crabbe and Goyle! Ha! That's bigamy and homosexuality! You'll be ruined!" More laughter.
"No! You can't do this to me! I'm a Malfoy! I have dignity! I have respect! I have--"
"No, no, wait! What if I--"
"You've been planning this for ages, haven't you, Granger?! Plotting it out, digging around, trying to find something to use! Well, I won't put up with it! I'll stand strong! I'll--"
"You won't be standing too strong if it gets out what your mum calls you. But don't be ridiculous, Malfoy, I haven't been planning on blackmailing you. In fact, I'd be happy if I could just go the rest of my life not talking to you!"
"...Same here."
"Good. Then we're agreed."
"We are."
A/N: That's the last chapter before I head out. Sorry, guys, you'll just have to wait until late tomorrow for any more. And thanks so much for reviewing! It makes me feel all sparkley! :D