The following takes place on Monday.

Events occur in real time.

9:00 AM-10:00 AM

9:00:00 AM

A ringing noise echoed across the room, waking Jack Bauer from unconsciousness. He felt groggy. Too groggy. There was only one explanation—

He needed coffee.

There were several ways of getting out of bed, he reasoned. He could roll over and push himself up. It might require too much energy, however. There was the idea of just rolling off. Of course, that could really hurt. Then he could just slide off onto his feet.

Hm. Damn…I need coffee.

Finally he decided to perform a mixture. He began to slide off, and halfway towards his destination rolled the rest of the way.

Ouch. Bad idea.

"Oww…" Jack moaned. Coffee…he needed coffee. But how was he to get coffee if he was tired? "What kind of god created this world?" This was a sick joke. Coffee would wake him up…but how would he get the coffee if he was too damn tired to move?

"Alright," Jack told himself. "I'm going to count to fifteen. When I'm done counting, I'll get up." It usually worked. Why not?

Okay. "One."

Alright. "Two."

Get ready. "Three."

I really don't want to move. "Four."

Okay…just think of guns. Guns make you happy. "Five."

M-16s. Yeah… "Six."

Maybe AK-47s? "Seven."

Oh, damn! It's only five away! "Eight."

All I want is a coffee… "Nine."

Egad! It's another race against time! "Ten."

I have to fall asleep before I finish counting! "Eleven."

Clear your mind. "Twelve."

Clear. "Thirteen."

Emptiness. "Fourteen."

SHIT! "Fifteen."

But Jack couldn't get himself to move. He looked truly pathetic, his eyes droopy and his mouth dry. He scratched his leg. There had to be something to do.

A sudden burst of energy came from nowhere. At last! He stumbled to his feet. Perfect! He moved his aching legs toward the kitchen. Jack glanced at the television. Some show about dancing people. I wish I could dance. God, I've always wanted to learn how to dance. You know, really knock them out! Like the watusi or something…

After tired thought after torturing tired thought, he reached the kitchen. There it was…some old coffee from yesterday! This was great! Wonderful! The ol' Joemaker had come through again!

He grabbed the mug and took a long swig. Good stuff…but it tasted odd.

Bauer's first thought was poison. But no poison he could think of could taste this good.

"Oh my god…" His eyes widened. "Decaf!"

9:12:34