"Oh. Okay. Let me think of one."
"Do you ever get bored?"
"Draco! It's my turn!"
"I know. Sorry. Sorry."
"And anyway, what do you mean, do I ever get bored? Of course I get bored! Everyone gets bored."
"I meant with your life."
"Oh. Well, there's no time to get bored with that."
"Of course there's time, there's always time! You could be busy doing something else and you could get bored!"
"Draco, you're in school. How could you be bored here? School is supposed to be all about not being bored and—what brought this up, anyway?"
"I was just asking. You know. Hypothetically."
"Hypothetically?"
"Mm-hmm."
"I don't speak hypothetical."
Pause. "You know what I meant, Hermione."
"No, actually, I don't. Would you be so good as to clarify?"
"I don't know…er…it's just that, you always seem so involved in school and everythi—"
"You're involved, too!"
"Yes, I know—"
"Are you asking because you're bored with your life?"
"No."
"Why, then?"
"I just thought…never mind. What's your next question?"
"What did you think? Did you think that poor, prissy Hermione gets so involved in school because she's bored with everything? Are you suggesting that my life has no meaning?"
"No! Don't get all defensive like that, it was only a question!"
"What did you mean, then?"
"I said 'never mind.' And I meant 'never mind.' Never mind."
"No, I wanted to know—"
"Never mind."
"…Can you please just tell me, please? I mean—"
"Look, can we go five minutes without fighting, Hermione?! Are we even capable of doing that?!"
"…Okay. No, okay. Fine."
"…Look, I'm not saying that you're picking fights or anything, it's just that—"
Tearful. "Then what are you saying? Merlin's Beard, Malfoy, it's just on and off with you."
"I wasn't trying to pick a fight, either. Can we just drop it? I think we're both just going bonkers from being in here so long."
"There's an extreme possibility." Sniffle.
"…Don't cry, okay, Hermione? I mean, I'm not trying to be insensitive or anything, but I felt that last tear, and it's not as if I have a tissue or anything to mop it up…"
Soft laugh.
"…It's your turn. You going to ask a question or not?"
"…I can't think of one."
"…"
"…Do you really think we'll be stuck in here forever?"
"Is that your question?"
"No, just wondering. Because if we do get stuck in here forever…"
"…What?"
"…I'm sorry, I'm just thinking some very gruesome thoughts."
"Gruesome? Like how? I'm not going to take out a knife and cut you or anything."
"No, I meant, like…you know what happens to a body after it dies…"
"Ahem. Er, no, actually, I don't."
"…You know, from what I've noticed you're quite well-educated, but there are just some places where you can be so ignorant."
"…"
"…Draco?"
"…I'm trying very hard not to take offense at that, Hermione."
Laugh. "Well, I just hope we're not in here forever. Let's leave it at that."
"We won't be in here forever."
"How are you so confident?"
"I happen to know that, er, every day, just before lunch, one particular student falls into this stair."
"Oh?"
"Just his leg, of course."
"You knew this all this time and didn't tell me?"
"Uh…"
"Who's the student?"
"Neville Longbottom."
"…And you have proof of this? You've watched him do this every single day?"
"…Well, not every day as such, I do have other things to do."
"How often?"
"Every other day or so."
"So, technically, he could be avoiding this stair whenever you're not watching."
"I sincerely doubt it."
"Why's that?"
"Because every time I am watching, he falls in."
"Maybe he falls in because you are watching. Because you expect him to fall in."
"Huh?"
"It's this new thing I've been reading up on. Vibes. It's a new magical theory. Of course, I don't expect it to hold up to much testing, since it's really in the cart with Divination and all that."
"Hey! Divination works!"
"Heh. No, it doesn't."
"Yes, it does. It does too—"
"No, it—"
"Yes, it does too."
"I can prove to you it doesn't."
"All right, let's hear it, Miss I-Know-Everything-About-Divination."
"Fine. Here's an example: almost every day in class, Professor Trelawney predicted, through the use of Divination, that Harry would die. Is Harry dead? No. Point proven."
"Is Harry going to live forever?"
"What? No."
"Exactly. Point proven."
"No, but—all right, here's another example: in our first class, Professor Trelawney predicted to Lavender Brown that the thing she was dreading would happen in April. In April, Lavender's pet rabbit died. But she was shocked—she hadn't been dreading it! Do you see? People fill in the events afterward and claim that they've been predicted, but really it's all a bunch of—"
"Hermione, have you ever had a real prediction taken for you?"
"What?"
"Not by Professor Trelawney, who's a right old fraud?"
Grin.
"By a professional?"
"Erm…well…no…"
"I had it done once."
"Oh yes? And what, pray tell, was predicted?"
"It was predicted, Hermione, that on December 14th, 1997, I would fall into an enclosed space and be trapped there with another person."
"Wha—who—wha—you—I--?"
"No, I'm just kidding, they never said that."
"Wha—you—hey!"
Laugh.
"Ha-ha-ha. What did they say?"
"They told me that I'd be expelled from school on December 20th, 1997, so I guess we've got to get out of here before then. Hell, I'll probably get expelled for killing you and eating you." Sigh. "And then I'll be sent to Azkaban…"
"Draco! What? No, that—that—that can't be right, you—"
Laughter. "I thought you didn't believe in all of this."
"Grr. Draco. What did they really say?"
Solemn. "They said that the turning point of my life, as far forward as they could see, would take place in December 1997."
"Ha. Fine, Draco, don't tell me what they said. I probably wouldn't believe it, anyway."
"No, that's really it."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"No, you're just being silly, now—"
"Look, were you there? That's what the man said!"
"Logically, if I were there, you wouldn't be telling me now."
"So do you believe me?"
"No."
"No? You're going to tell me that you don't think this is going to be the turning point in my life? What do you think I'm going to do once I get out of this stair?"
"I don't know! Probably go back to being such a prat, the way you're acting now!"
"I am not acting like a prat!"
"You won't even stop lying to me about what was predicted for you!"
"I wasn't—!" Calmer. "Hermione, I was just teasing you."
"Yes, of course, you were just teasing me, just the way that every time you insulted or belittled me and my friends, you were just teasing."
"Hermione!"
Tearful. "What?"
"You've trusted me up 'till now. You going to give up so quickly?"
Sniffle. "No."
"Right. So why are you so upset all of a sudden?" Arms go around waist.
Sniffle. "How'd you get to be so nice?"
"Bolt of lightning hit me. Now are you going to stop crying?"
Sniffle. "Maybe."
"I can't understand what's gotten you so emotional."
"…ha, well, it's just…you mentioned getting out of here, and I just…I don't know. No, I really don't. Do you have any idea how hard that is for me to admit? I don't know."
"That's okay. Maybe they'll have an emotions class next year and you can take it."
Softly. "…how did you get so nice?"
***
A/N: Augh! I'm back! But not for long, I'm afraid. I got sucked into writing this one chapter—I'll try and see if I can get a couple more, but I'm not promising anything. But look! Complex characters! I'm proud of myself. And, before you say anything, yes, Draco would act that way. Take a look back over previous chapters. This is not out of nowhere.
Ohyeah. And I apologize for having more drama in this chapter than you're used to. More comedy next time, I promise. And Draco will be more cranky next chapter, because, let's face it, he probably wouldn't be quite so sane after all this time in an enclosed space.
Once more, let's hear it for the reviewers!
(To the tune of "Take me out to the ballgame," most popular disclaimer/review song used online):
Oh, I love all my reviewers,
They're so wonderfully great!
I'd like to hug them and give them a cheer—
If they said nothing I'd never stay here,
So let's hoot, hoot, hoot for reviewers!
Here, let me ruffle their hair!
And there's lots—more—cha-a-a-pters
left in Tri-ick Stair!