Chapter 12:

With Rimmer still fuming over not being allowed to save his own life and Lister grinning from ear to ear like a hungry Lion that's just about to pounce on an antelope; Kryten decided to be brave and asked "what happens next Sam?"

Sam said "well, they fly back to Earth. Then Dave and Kristine get married and with the gold that the Cats gave you, you not only buy a farm on Fiji, you actually buy ALL of Fiji!"

"What smeggin' gold?" said Lister, eyes widening like a 10 year old boy who's just found one of his big brother's girlie magazines.

"Oh! Didn't I tell you about the gold?"

Rimmer was adamant when he said "NO! You didn't you oversized…"

"Do you really want to finish that sentence Arnold" said Sam as a pair of small flames like you would get with a cigar lighter appeared from his nostrils.

"Umm, sorry… please; continue."

The flames ceased but smoke slowly poured from the dragon's nostrils as a reminder to Rimmer to watch his mouth.

"How much gold are we talking about here Sam?" asked Lister wondering just how rich was going to be.

"A lot actually, more than you'll ever be able to spend Dave" said Sam.

"Smeg, why did they do that? The ship they gave us would have been more than enough of a trade for Red Dwarf."

"Call it a love offering, Dave. Besides, gold is a fairly common element on the Cat world and they were probably happy to get rid of it."

Lister said "really?"

"Yes to the first bit, no to the second; I suppose they just wanted to show you their appreciation."

The Cat piped up and said "so chipmunk-cheeks and wiggle-hips get hitched and buy Fuschal; does goal-post head live with them, and what about Holly?"
"It's called Fiji, Cat" said Lister; "not smeggin' Fuschal."

"Whatever; what happens to these two?" and he pointed to Holly and Rimmer.

"Well, they both stay with Lister and Krissy for a while, then, after about six months Arnold says he's really, really bored with all of the lying around in the sun and drinking cocktails and he tells them he's decided to become a Space Adventurer and he asks Dave if he can have the ship."

I do?" said Arnold. "That doesn't sound like something I would do?"

The others just stared at the guy who was such a coward that he used to start fights and then run and hide while Lister usually copped a beating for just simply knowing Rimmer.

"Yes you do Arnold, but Holly decides that he wants to stay with Dave and Kris. So he builds the ship a new AI and then permanently transfers himself to his trolley."

"Of course I would! Gordon Bennet; why the smeg would I want to be on a ship with Rimmer in charge."

"You're a goit Holly, you poor excuse for an abacus" said Rimmer angrily.

Holly responded by blowing Rimmer a very loud and very wet raspberry.

"So what happens to Rimmer?" said Lister.

"Well, he makes himself a Captain, renames the ship the SS Rimmer and…"

"Renames it?" asked Lister. "What was it called before?"

"It was called 'Cloister's Pride!"

"Wow" said the Cat. That's pretty cool."

"Yea, it is" said Lister, smiling.

"So what happens to me in space, Sam?" asked Rimmer. "Do I become a brave and heroic icon, the wet dream of damsels everywhere?"

"Good question Arnold" said Sam. "I wish I could tell you. The next thing I see is you guys coming here and then my death."

"Bummer" said Lister.

"Not really, Dave. I've had a long time to prepare for it."

"So that's it" asked Rimmer.

"I'm afraid so Arnold."

"So what happens now, Sam" asked Kryten.

"Well first, the Cat and I have to have our date. Will a stroll around the cargo bay suffice Cat?"

The Cat didn't answer, he just held out his arm and Sam took it gently, like it was made from porcelain. They strolled off and sauntered around the cargo bay for about half an hour then came back into the stasis room.

"And now?" asked Rimmer.

"Now, you guys go back to Red Dwarf." said Sam. "I reverse the direction of the tractor beam and lift you up out of the crater and into space. Holly can fire up the engines and then you can be on your way."

"But what about you Sam, why don't you come with us?" asked Lister; almost pleading for the dragon to accompany then on their travels.

"Two reasons, Dave. One: Someone has to be here to lift the Dwarf back up into space and…"

"But Sam, can't you put it on automatic or something" Kryten said.

"… And two: I die here."

"You smeggin' what?" said Lister flabbergasted.

"I die here, I saw it happen right here."

"How?" asked Holly.

"Natural causes" said Sam, smiling warmly at the way the guys were reacting to his news.

"Really?" asked Lister.

"Yes, in fact, just seconds before the tractor beam machine blows up and destroys this entire moon."

"What?" said Lister.

"What?" said Rimmer"

"What?" said Kryten."

"What?' said Holly.

The Cat didn't say anything, he just fainted.

The Cat woke scant seconds later and cried, eyes filling with tears, "I'm gunna miss you Sam!" he blubbered, then he ran over and gave Sam a big hug.

In fact, all of them went over and gave Sam a great bit group hug. Well, all of them who actually had arms did. Holly just bumped into the dragon a few times to show his affection.

"You'd better go guys, it won't be long now" Sam said.

So they said their goodbyes to the only creature that they had met in all the years that they were travelling in space that didn't either try to eat them, kill them, or hold them hostage.

Once back on the Dwarf the sombre mood continued as they waited for Sam to push them back into the inky blackness of the cosmos.