Notes from the author: Okay guys, I know you're reading because I can see the stats, so please, please drop a review. It may seem nothing to you, but it really means a lot when I know that people actually care enough to let me know that I'm doing something right. Or wrong. Or anything. If you don't like something, tell me! I don't mind flames. Okay, maybe they're not the best thing to hear, but at least people will tell me if they don't like something. I try to review every fan fic that I read in hopes that people would do the same for me. I even appreciate a short, "I like it" or "Please continue". And I do accept anonymous reviews, by the way. Anyway, that's enough pleading for now, lol, on with the chapter...

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with The OC, or anything else for that matter. So please don't sue, I don't have much to give except for six tattered Harry Potter books and a fat rabbit.

Pairings: Ryan/Marissa, maybe some Seth/Summer and Kirsten/Sandy – no fluff.

Rating: T for language and violence

Summary: The death of Ryan's brother, Trey, sparks a domino effect that will alter the Cohen's lives forever.

I've tried everything but somehow
You find a way to shut me out
This time maybe you will let me
Get inside your mind, inside your mind

Somewhere behind your silent eyes
There's a story
I swear that I can help you write
The perfect ending

- Inside Your Mind, Justincase

My Elusive Drug

"Ryan?" Soft tapping on the glass to the doors.

Tap, tap, tap.

Maybe if he didn't answer, she would go away.

Tap, tap, tap.

Guess not.

"Yeah," Ryan called, annoyed, not wanting to leave the warm comfort of his bed. The door squeaked open, in walked Kirsten Cohen, a plate in hand. "Oh sorry sweetie, were you sleeping?"

He reached over to flick on the bedside lamp, "No, it's fine."

"I brought you a sandwich," Kirsten offered, setting it down on the table. "Don't worry, Sandy made it," she joked, and he forced a smile, irritated by her presence. Go away. Leave me alone.

"You know," she started, coming over to sit on the edge of his bed. Ryan propped himself up on his pillows to look at her, wishing she would just leave. "If you ever want to talk -,"

Oh god, the 'We're here for you' speech.

"- I, Sandy and I, we're here for you." He forced another small smile, tried to look grateful, nodded. She patted his leg. "I'll see you in the morning, sweetie." Getting up, she made her way over to the door, gently closing it behind her.

Thank god. Ryan flopped back down onto his pillows, eyeing the sandwich. His stomach rumbled, but he was too tired to pull himself out of the comfort of his bed. Instead, he reached over to flick off the lamp and buried himself under the covers once more.

"Is Ryan up yet?" Seth asked eagerly as he came into the kitchen the next morning, opening the cabinets and pulling out a box of Cap'n Crunch. Kirsten shook her head over her coffee cup, "I think he's still in bed."

"Oh." He pulled out a bowl and spoon, struggling to balance them in one hand and open the fridge to grab the carton of milk at the same time.

"Let him rest, son," Sandy commented from behind the sports section. "He's been through an ordeal."

"I know, I know," Seth responded, half whining, as he dumped the contents of his arms onto the counter, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

His eyes wandered out the window above the sink at the pool house. The blinds were shut. Ryan didn't sleep in, he was always up early, even when they had no school. Sure, his brother had died, but things would still be the same, right? Ryan would still be the same old brooding, fist-fighting Ryan who played Play Station with Seth and listened to his rambles about Summer. Seth took a bite of cereal and perched himself on top of his usual stool.

"Hey." Ryan opened the sliding glass doors, coming into the kitchen, already dressed as he sat down on a stool next to Seth, who was still in his pajamas and robe.

"Hey dude!" Seth greeted, a bit over-cheerfully, earning him a 'look' from Kirsten.

"Morning sweetie," Kirsten smiled warmly. "Want me to make you some breakfast? Eggs? Bacon?"

Seth snorted, stifling a laugh into his bowl, "Not unless you want to poison him." Sandy and Ryan smirked as Kirsten glared. "No thanks," Ryan responded, taking a bowl and spoon from the drawer and grabbing the red box of cereal from in front of Seth.

"Hey!" Seth exclaimed, looking up at Ryan. "I was looking at that!" Ryan glanced at the box then back at Seth. "You were finding the way to the Captain's magical cereal treasure chest?"

Now it was Kirsten's turn to smirk. "Yes," Seth grumbled, snatching the box back as soon as Ryan poured himself a bowl.

"So, dude, up for a bit of sailing today?" Seth asked, nudging Ryan with his elbow a few moments later. "The water's perfect and the beach will be flocked with girls in bikinis!"

Kirsten looked over at him, "I don't know if Ryan's up for sailing today, Seth," she interjected.

"No, it's fine," Ryan said, annoyed. "Sailing sounds great."

"Awesome." Silence fell over the boys. "Okay then! I'll go get dressed and we'll go!" Seth pushed himself off of his stool, dumping the remains of his cereal into the sink.

Fearing another 'We're-here-for-you' speech, Ryan, too, slid off his stool and placed his bowl in this sink as Seth ascended up the stairs. "I'm just gonna go ... outside ...," he stuttered, as he guestured randomly out the window and hurried out.

"I'm worried about him Sandy," Kirsten said as soon as Ryan left, her eyes following the boy as he made his way back to the pool house.

Sandy sighed, putting down his paper. "He's a tough kid Kirsten, he knows that we're here for him, but Ryan's not really the talkative type."

Kristen snorted, "You think?" Sandy came behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "He'll come to us when he's ready."

Ryan made his way bac to the pool house, slamming the door behind him and collapsing on top of his bed. In truth, he didn't want to go sailing. He didn't want to sit in the kitchen with the Cohens and eat Cap'n Crunch and pretend that everything was just dandy. He didn't want to leave the pool house. He wanted to lay in bed, in the dark, and brood.

"Hey, Ryan!" Tap, tap, tap. God, that tapping could drive a man crazy. "Ryyyyyan! You in there, buddy?" The door opened and Seth poked his head in. "Hey dude, c'mon, let's go!" Ryan forced a smile, standing up and walking past Seth out the door.

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Eh? Pleeaasseee review (see above Notes from the author), because a reviewed author is a happy author!

But...

I did have one review!

slimkay: Thank you oodles! You're my new favorite person, hehe. And the story shall develop... I think... I really am making this up as I go along, hehe.