What it means to Live
Gin/Matsumoto
First line is taken from another one of my fics; it randomly inspired me to write this. That line and the relationship I'm in...modified a bit.
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She lived to be a dying star, exploding and collapsing at the same time in one incredible moment. Turning outside and inside and upside and allside, twisting and writhing and curling and gliding and 'there keep going don't stop I LOVE YOU'.
She lived to see that one moment when he didn't have that false smile on his face. That smirk that spoke of ridicule and secrets, knowing and hate replaced by the strain of passion which flashed briefly when he flooded her insides.
She lived for a man that she didn't know anymore, but she didn't care because once, he had been.
She lived for that moment when she thought she was dying, because dying with him felt more like living than anything she experienced before.
She lived to be near him even if being near him meant giving up everything that was her. Funny, because even though she was near him, they were further apart than anything else and she wanted so badly to strip away the barriers and the clothes and the lies.
She lived for the feeling of being left, because it made his coming back that much better.
She lived to make everything right again. If it went wrong then her whole life would continue to crumble out from underneath her and the only thing she wanted crumbling underneath her was the body of the man that saved her and escaped her and ignored her and showed her the way.
She lived because really dying meant being away from him.
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