A/N: review responses sent out as usual.
Also thanks to: LettuceNPudding, Lumos2000, Longsworder, refloc, Fleury, cokkii, septempopuli, Silver-head-angel, Zodokai, SPG inc., WiseAbsol, The OddBird, hello, Queen Dragon, 1st female LEPrecon, frenchpiment, -Love-You-Always-And-Forever-, J. Dawnwolf, an-angel-in-hell, Chibi Binasu-chan, The Flying Moose, Koru-chan, shadow-slade, annie-morphs, nandhp, sudenkorento, Rachel, LostFairy815, drugged-on-chocolate
Chapter 21
Miracle
Root's office, Police Plaza"You look worried, Julius," Wing-Commander Vinyáya perceived, sipping her nettle tea. The commander was sitting behind his desk, in the centre of a cloud of smoke issuing from his fungus cigar. The small visible part of his face revealed concern.
Root sighed and shook his head. "I can't help it, Annie… still no news on Fowl. What if that idiotic Mud Man got himself killed in the past? Holly would be broken. It's her husband, the father of her children…"
"And you've grown fond of Fowl too, haven't you?" Vinyáya said with a small smile.
Root shrugged. "He isn't that evil after all, you know… He sacrificed his genius to save the world. I wish I could still detest him like I detest every Mud Man, but… I can't help it. I can't detest him anymore."
Vinyáya reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "He'll turn up sooner or later, don't worry. That Mud Man has so far succeeded in everything he tried, including kidnapping Holly…"
Julius looked up to see a mischievous grin on the wing-commander's face. "Yeah, I suppose he did." Instinctively, he reached out and put his other hand upon Vinyáya's. She didn't seem to mind. They remained like this for seconds or minutes (neither of them knew how long), lost in each other's eyes. Vinyáya's eyes radiated warmth and encouragement; Root's eyes radiated gratefulness for having her there to lift his spirits. Suddenly the door of the office burst open and Foaly galloped in.
Commander and wing-commander jerked their hands back and averted their glances from each other, trying to look very interested in various objects like an ashtray or a stack of data cards.
"Oho! I saw that," the centaur said with a toothy grin, closing the door behind him. "Julius and Annie sitting in a tree…"
"Will you SHUT UP?" Root barked at him. "And next time do knock before you burst in on me like that!"
"Next time, I won't have news on Fowl, so I won't have any reason to burst in on you," Foaly replied.
"What?" Root hopped up from his seat. "News on Fowl?"
"Yeah. He's back from Hungary. So is Patrick. And Mulch. And Mulch."
"You were repeating things, did you know?" Vinyáya said with an amused expression. "You said Mulch twice."
"Because there's two of him." The centaur shrugged. "Anyway, Fowl's just been to some Cavalieri guy's manor near Kilkenny – that's where Holly had been kept by her kidnappers. It seems so that Cavalieri and his female accomplice, plus several of their gorillas went to the Star Wars fan meeting. They must've found out somehow that Holly's there too. There's going to be a scrap for sure, so some fairy involvement might be useful. Just a thought of course, you decide about that, Julius."
For a few seconds Root just stared at the centaur unblinkingly, then said: "What do you mean there's two of Diggums?"
o o o O O O o o o
"We'll have to get costumes, I hope you know that," said Juliet as they were driving away from Cavalieri's manor.
"We do?" Artemis frowned.
"Yep. I've heard about this Star Wars fan meeting, and you can enter for free, but you've got to be dressed up as someone from the movies."
"Just what I need," Artemis sighed. "To look like a complete idiot. Where do we get costumes for it?"
"One of my old schoolmates has a costume rental shop in Dublin. I bet she has something we could use to pass as Star Wars characters."
"I'll be Ben Skywalker," Patrick said enthusiastically.
"Who?" Mulch1 blinked.
"Luke Skywalker's son in the Extended Universe books. He has red hair and blue eyes just like me. I won't even need Jedi robes because the little bloke decided he didn't want to be a Jedi. He has a great Force potential but he rejects the Force because he's afraid of it."
Artemis gave his son a surprised glance. "I never knew you read any Star Wars books."
"Well, not all of them, as there are over a hundred, but at least fifty." The boy shrugged. "Don't look at me like that, Dad, I'm a child after all!"
"Whew, I never thought I'd hear a line like that from our little Pat," Mulch2 commented.
Giving the dwarf a withering glance, Patrick continued. "Besides, there are loads of adults who love Star Wars. Actually, I think there are more adult SW fans than children. So no one can accuse me of being infantile if I like stuff like that…"
"No one was accusing you of being infantile." Artemis shook his head. "I was just surprised that you liked things like this… I never did. I read physics books even as a child, and never any fantasy, save Lord of the Rings-"
"…And Harry Potter. Mum said you read that one too."
"But not as a child, I've only read it recently. I was curious to find out what everyone loved about it…"
"And did you manage to find out?" asked Juliet, grinning.
"Not really. That Harry seemed emotionally unstable to me. That Ron was a complete idiot. Only Hermione is worth mentioning. And well, perhaps Voldemort. I can't help, but his young self sometimes reminded me of my young self…" Seeing everyone's appalled expressions, Artemis's lips tucked into a smirk. "Well, he was dark-haired, handsome, ambitious, clever…"
"Sorry, Dad, but you can't dress up as Voldemort. You could be Han Solo, though. He's tall and handsome, after all," Patrick suggested.
"What? Solo's a rogue!" Artemis said with utter contempt. "A smuggler!"
"Well, you used to smuggle weaponry in your other life," Mulch2 pointed out.
Artemis gave the dwarf an icy glance. "All right, I'll be Han Solo, but you two Mulches, will be Jawas. That's the only thing you can pass as in the Star Wars universe."
"Jawas? Gladly," replied Mulch. "I always wanted to have eyes that look like a pair of light bulbs…"
o o o O O O o o o
Root's office, Police Plaza"I'm coming," said Vinyáya. "Don't even try to dissuade me, Julius! You can't go alone, and you can't send any other LEP fairies to Drogheda because it would mean telling them about Holly's real whereabouts. I take it you don't want everyone to find out that she's married to Artemis Fowl?"
"Of course not," Root sighed. "Are you sure you want to come?"
The wing-commander gave him a cheeky grin. "Certainly. I've never been to a Star Wars fan meeting before… besides, I'm getting rusty, I badly need some fight. And I haven't mesmerised anyone for over a decade! You can't deny me the chance…"
Seeing Annie's pleading expression, Root couldn't help but nod. "All right, then, we're going together and kick some Mud Man arse. Besides… I like Star Wars too."
Vinyáya grinned back at him, then her grin faded to be replaced by a concerned expression. "But Julius… how are we going to get in there? Isn't that fan meeting held in a Mud Man building?"
"Yes, it is, but I've watched the live broadcast for a few minutes and they showed the entrance for three or four seconds. There was a huge sign put on the outside of the building, saying 'Welcome to the 27th annual meeting of the Irish Star Wars Fans'. And as long as we consider ourselves Star Wars fans, we are welcome there…" Root said with a wink.
"Ah, yeah. Definitely." Vinyáya nodded, smiling. "I so love loopholes like this… I'll go and fetch a pair of mind wipers, in case we need them…"
o o o O O O o o o
By noon Artemis, the Butlers, Patrick and Mulch were sitting in the Jeep, all wearing Star Wars outfits that Juliet's friend had provided them with.
Artemis felt horribly ridiculous in leather pants and a fake blaster at his side and longed for his fine and comfortable Armani suit.
"So, got a plan, guys?" asked Juliet, admiring her Princess Leia-like hairdo in a pocket mirror. It looked nice on her, save that her hair was blonde not brown like Leia's. But as there were no blondies in the Star Wars movies, she couldn't think of another costume.
"Well…"
"I've got one," said Patrick. "A back-up plan, actually. In case Cavalieri's musclemen catch us. But even if they don't, we should deal with them somehow… we can't let Cavalieri and his little girlfriend tell people about Mum being a fairy, can we?"
"Of course not." Artemis shook his head. "What's your plan, Son?"
"Give me your wristwatch," the boy said. "Juliet, I expect there's a screwdriver somewhere in the Jeep, right? I'll need one."
"What do you want to do with my time machine?" enquired Artemis.
"First install a tiny microphone in both yours and mine so that we can communicate through it in the conference centre in case we lose each other in the crowd – I don't have a cell phone after all. Second: tamper a bit with the time travel function in both yours and my time machine."
All the others exchanged confused looks.
Patrick looked at his father with an innocent expression. "I hope you don't mind if I ruin them a bit?"
"The time machines? Well… no. Not really," Artemis said, not having the slightest idea why the boy would want to ruin the time machines. But Patrick was a genius, and a genius of Fowl blood, so Artemis couldn't help but trust his son's judgement. Besides, he didn't see himself ever wanting to travel in time again… Upsetting the time-space continuum once had been just enough. "Here." He handed his 'watch' to his son. "And now tell me your plan."
A devilish smile spread on the boy's face. "Then listen to this…"
o o o O O O o o o
Annual Meeting of Irish Star Wars Fans, Conference Centre, Drogheda – a few hours laterHolly stifled a yawn. She didn't remember when she'd last felt this tired. Must be because of the pregnancy, she thought, but she knew she was fooling herself. Truth was that she had barely slept the previous night, just like the night before the previous night. Two nights before she had escaped from Cavalieri's manor and barely slept two or three hours in the little room her new 'friends' had rented in a pension near Dublin. The previous night she had spent in a nearby hostel with the three Star Wars fanatics, and as those three had constantly been talking about how great it had been to get Peter Mayhew's autograph, Holly couldn't fall asleep.
Since the fan meeting lasted three days, those, who wanted to stay all along, had long before booked rooms in nearby hotels, pensions and hostels. So did Doug, Jerry and Nate. The landlady of the hostel where they had stayed last night had told Holly that every single hotel room in Drogheda had been rented by Star Wars fanatics. "I don't understand them, these fans!" The landlady had shaken her grey-haired head. "What's so great about ugly spaceships and glowing swords?"
Holly, who wasn't a real Star Wars fan but liked the movies enough, didn't want to comment and just nodded friendlily. The landlady had struck her as a person who watched Mexican soap operas hours on end and people like that usually found science fiction and fantasy utterly horrible.
Early in the morning, Holly had returned to the conference centre with the three men, trying to look less drowsy than she was feeling. But she was indeed fooling herself if she tried to persuade anyone that she wasn't about to fall asleep any second.
Her eyelids were drooping as she listened to a live interview with Peter Mayhew who had once played the Wookiee Chewbacca. He had been invited by the Irish fans as the guest of honour.
Not understanding what could be so interesting about asking a one-time Wookiee stupid questions about his unusual height, Holly yawned.
"Hey, you're going to fall asleep on us, girl," Jerry said. "Buy you a coffee?"
"No thanks, Jerry. I'm not sure it's advisable to drink coffee in my condition," Holly replied. "I'll just go and wash my face in the bathroom, the cool water might wake me up a bit."
She stood up from her seat and headed for the ladies' bathroom through the crowd. Once inside the bathroom, she decided she might as well use the toilet if she had come this far. She stepped into the nearest cubicle, closing the door behind her, not even giving a Padmé-costumed woman a second glance.
A few seconds later someone came into the bathroom.
There was a noise that suggested that something had fallen and a tube of lipstick rolled towards Holly's cubicle, she could see it through the gap under the door.
A long-fingered hand with fingernails painted red snatched up the fallen lipstick.
"Sorry," someone apologised. "Didn't mean to knock your toilet bag off the basin!"
"No harm done," the owner of the fallen lipstick replied.
"Who are you supposed to be, by the way?" asked the other woman.
"An Imperial Assassin," replied the lipstick-owner in a cold voice. "There wasn't much of a choice who to come as, was there? There are barely any female characters in Star Wars."
"True… That's why there are about a hundred Princess Leia's here. And at least another fifty Padmé's like me…" The woman dressed as Padmé chuckled. "If you had red hair, you could pass as Mara Jade. She too was an assassin."
"Indeed?" the cold voiced woman said, clearly not a bit interested and not having the slightest idea who Mara Jade was.
"Yes. Haven't you read the sequel books?" asked 'Padmé' in a surprised voice. "Well… I can understand you, after all. Some of them sucked. But all those that featured Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade as the main characters ruled! They're the best SW couple ever!"
"Yeah, whatever," said the cold voice, then there were footsteps to be heard, the creak of a door, and silence fell over the bathroom.
Inside the cubicle, Holly stood, blood frozen in her veins.
She knew that cold voice! She'd heard it too many times in the past few days. She'd remember it for a lifetime! How many times had this voice tried to goad her into telling the location of the Hun king's grave! How many times had this voice gloated to her about having a secret source of information at Fowl Manor!
And that hand! The only female Holly had ever seen wearing such vivid red fingernails was Emese. Yes, sometimes even that little tramp Lili Frond had worn extreme coloured fingernails, but never this horrible shade of red.
She's here, Holly thought to herself with horror. She must have found out I'm here otherwise she wouldn't have come! What if Cavalieri's here too? And his guards? What if they're hunting for me? I've got to get out of here, as soon as possible! Oh, d'Arvit, why can't I shield when I really need to? She nervously ran her fingers across her red locks. Okay, calm down, Holly. Nothing's lost yet. They don't know that I know that they are here. I have an advantage over them. And I know that Emese dressed up as an assassin while she doesn't know what I am dressed up as… Or does she? And what does an assassin look like?
With a sigh, Holly pulled the cap of her Jedi robes over her head, trying to conceal as much of her face as possible. If only she could get out of the building, then she could go somewhere with an Internet connection and contact Foaly to ask him whether Artemis and Patrick had returned yet…
And what if he says that they haven't? Fear clutched at her heart. It had been two days since they had left for Hungary, and even though two days weren't much, not having any news on her husband and son was sheer torture for Holly. Not to mention that she was being hunted by a group of gorillas now. And she didn't even know what those gorillas were dressed up as. They could be Jedi or Wookiees or Toydarians or Hutts or whatever… For a second Holly was mad at George Lucas for having packed his movies with so many types of idiotic-looking aliens.
Get a grip, girl! You're a bloody commander, after all! – a voice in her head reminded her, and she drew herself up and stepped out of the cubicle. She would get out of this stupid conference centre and away from Drogheda before Cavalieri and his toadies could notice she was gone. If only she could say good-bye to Nate, Jerry and Doug, they had been so nice to her… But it was too risky to return to the crowd.
She exited the bathroom, and instead of going in the direction of cheering voices, she hurried down the corridor in the other direction. There must be a back door somewhere…
The further she got, the less people she met until she reached a completely empty corridor. Now all she had to do was find the back door. Hopefully Cavalieri hadn't sent a few of his gorillas to guard the doors… but Holly wouldn't put it past him to do so.
She heard a door creak somewhere to her right, though still quite far from her. That could be the back door, she thought hopefully, and started to walk faster. By the time she reached the place where the corridor bent right, she was practically running, therefore she collided with a man at full speed. The impact propelled her back a few steps and she would have landed on her bum had the man not caught her.
"Holly!"
"Artemis!" she breathed, not believing her eyes. There he was: tall and handsome, his blue eyes shining with surprise and happiness… and he seemed a bit roguish too. Sexily roguish. Perhaps because he was dressed up as Han Solo?
"Are you all right?" he whispered, closing her into a firm but gentle hug.
"Y…yes… I'm all right," she muttered into his neck, relishing the feeling of having his arms around her. His body seemed to be trembling, and she pulled back a bit to see tears glinting in his eyes. He was heroically fighting them back, but she could see them nevertheless. "What's wrong, Love?" She cupped his face with both hands.
He didn't answer just shook his head, his hands closing over hers. For seconds they stood there like that, neither of them speaking, then suddenly he spoke up: "I feared I'd never see you again. I would have died if I lost you…"
"You'll never lose me. I promise. But we've got to get out of here as soon as possible! Cavalieri's here with his gorillas! He's the one who kidnapped me!"
Artemis released her, the look of concerned love disappearing from his face to be replaced by anger. "I know it's him and I know he's here. That's why we've come."
"We? Who's we?" she asked.
"Patrick, the Butlers and Mulch. We parted as soon as we got into the building, trying to find you. We thought that if we stayed together, we'd attract the attention of Cavalieri's gorillas too much. But this way we're just a bunch of fans mingling with the rest of the crowd."
"I see. Nice outfit, by the way." Holly grinned. "Han Solo, is it? Where'd you get it?"
"Juliet's friend got us costumes. We stopped at her place in Dublin. Just got here ten minutes ago. We were worried you'd be caught by Cavalieri by the time we got here, as they had several hours of head-start. I'll ring up Butler now and tell him I've got you." Artemis selected Butler's number from the address book in his mobile phone. A few seconds later the manservant's voice spoke up:
"Artemis? Where are you?"
"At some corridor near the back entrance. I've got Holly. Ring Juliet and come here. I'll ring Patrick. As for the Mulches… just find them somewhere. They'll be at the buffet, I expect…"
"Copy," said Butler and ended the call.
"The Mulches?" Holly's eyes widened. "In plural?"
"Tell you later," Artemis said and pushed a few buttons on his wristwatch.
"Yes, Dad?" Patrick's voice spoke up, coming from the watch.
"I've found your mother. We're heading towards the back entrance."
"All right, I'll be there soon," the boy replied. Artemis could hear the excitement in Patrick's voice.
Artemis cut the connection and turned to Holly with a smile. "Come, Princess, let's get out of here."
Holly slipped her hand into his. "You're starting to act like Han for real, you know… And I'm no Princess Leia, I'm a Jedi Knight if you haven't noticed."
"I have." Artemis gave her a grin as they hurried in the direction where they hoped to find the back entrance. "What happened to your beautiful wedding dress?"
"Got torn and dirty as I escaped from the manor. My friends gave me these robes."
"Your friends? Those Star Wars fanatics who gave you a lift?"
"Yeah. I wish I could say good-bye to them…" Holly's voice sounded sad. "But we can't risk getting caught by Cavalieri's gorillas…"
A look flashed across Artemis's face but he didn't say anything. He didn't know what to do with the 'gorillas' if they happened to meet them, but he knew well enough what to do with Cavalieri and his assistant. And once they were out of the way, the gorillas could be dealt with somehow… either by Juliet's fist or by Patrick's mesmer. But they couldn't take chances with the archaeologist and the woman. Those two were too dangerous because they knew about the existence of fairies. Surely they could be mind wiped, but even if they didn't remember the People, they would be dangerous enough – they were greedy (or at least Cavalieri was), and greedy people were dangerous. Artemis knew it only too well: greed had driven him into becoming a gunrunner in his other life, and no doubt that he had contributed to the deaths of hundreds or thousands…
"I'm nothing like Jon Spiro! He's a cold-blooded killer!"
"Give yourself a few years. You'll get there."
And indeed, Artemis had killed. He'd killed Quartz Quench. He hadn't done that out of greed, though. But in his other life, he had killed thousands of people, even if only indirectly, and had done it out of greed. Cavalieri wasn't that different. If he didn't get fame by finding Attila's grave, he'd find another way. And people like him didn't care how many innocents they bulldozed over before they reached their aim.
No. Cavalieri was too dangerous to just mind wipe him. And if he crossed their path, Artemis wouldn't hesitate to act.
"Almost there," he murmured to Holly. "At least I think. The boys and I came through the main entrance like everyone else, so I don't know this part of the building…"
Holly felt uneasiness fill her heart as she watched Artemis's face. She had seen her beloved Mud Boy several times like this before, and it always meant that he had something in mind… something dangerous. However, before she could question him, they turned right once more, and the sight that greeted them made Holly's heart miss a beat.
Surrounded by six musclemen – all of them dressed as Wookiees – stood Cavalieri (in Jedi robes) and Emese. Sandwiched between them, was Patrick.
To the average people they would have looked like a motley group of people posing for a photographer, but Holly's experienced LEP fairy eyes immediately spotted the half-hidden tiny gun that Emese was pointing at her son's nape from behind.
"Well, well, well, who have we here?" Cavalieri smirked. "Nice to see you, Mr. and Mrs. Fowl. Imagine, we've just run into your little nephew… a family reunion, isn't that lovely?"
"Leave Patrick alone!" Holly hissed, her hands balled into fists.
"Gladly… if you give us the coordinates," replied the archaeologist. "Well, Mr. Fowl? Do you have them?"
Artemis glanced at Patrick, who nodded.
"We do," said the Irishman. "But it's going to be a little difficult to show it to you…"
Emese's eyes narrowed. "Will it be a little easier for you to show them if I pulled the trigger?"
"No need to be rude, Lady," Artemis said. "I just meant that I can't show it to you alone."
"What do you mean by that?" frowned Cesare.
"We stored the coordinates in our wristwatches," replied Artemis. "But for security reasons we decided to split them. Half of the coordinates are in my watch, half in Patrick's."
"Then give me that watch," Cavalieri ordered. "Both watches!"
Artemis hid a grin. He'd known that his father's so-called friend would be greedy enough to want to put his hands on the watches at once. If he suggested to Cavalieri that he'd read out the coordinates, Cavalieri wouldn't accept his offer. Not when his gorillas could hear it and possibly turn on him, knock him out or kill him and hurry off to get Attila's treasures themselves… Well, Artemis wasn't sure whether Cesare's guards knew at all what coordinates their master wanted so badly, but he knew human psychology enough to be sure that a person like Cavalieri would want such important information for himself only. Perhaps he'd share it with his assistant, but with no one else.
Artemis took off his own 'watch'. "You know, you can't get the coordinates if you're holding both watches," he told the archaeologist. "They don't work that way."
"What? Why not?" Cavalieri frowned.
"They're just playing with you, Cesare," Emese hissed. "He's bluffing. He's trying to buy themselves time until the Butlers arrive. I bet they're here somewhere!" She turned to Artemis, her eyes sparkling with fury. "Don't play with us, Genius Boy or my finger might slip and you can say good-bye to your nephew!"
Artemis gave her an amused look. "Why is it so important for you to get those coordinates? Isn't that old Cesare who wants to find that grave so badly to become famous? What is in it for you?"
"I just want a sword, Fowl," she replied coldly, forcing her voice not to waver. Everyone around could see that she was practically shaking with anticipation, but she was pretending to be composed.
"The Sword of God by any chance?" asked Artemis. "That sword's lost, isn't it? How could you find it if it's not in the grave?"
"It is there," Emese said darkly. "And I'll get it. My rightful inheritance. And you won't stop me, Fowl!"
Holly was looking from her husband to Cesare and Emese, then to Patrick and finally to the guards. She didn't understand what was going on. Her son and husband seemed to be exchanging unspoken words – they seemed to be communicating with their eyes and she didn't know what they were up to. It seemed as though there was some kind of a plan, as if they weren't just winging it… This thought should have calmed her, knowing that her two favourite males in the world must have planned something good like they always did; but she just couldn't calm down.
She examined the guards' faces as well, and they all seemed utterly confused. Apparently they didn't know what coordinates their masters were talking about, and neither did they know anything about a certain Sword of God. Come to think of it, Holly had never heard of it either.
Artemis shrugged. "All right, I won't stop you, Miss, but your own stupidity may stop you."
The woman's eyes narrowed even more. "What are you talking about, Fowl?"
The Irishman rolled his eyes. "I told you already. Cavalieri can't hold both watches at once if he wants to get the coordinates. It's because these two watches are very fine-tuned gadgets, and if they're too close to each other – if one person is holding both of them – they interfere with each other. They sort of knock each other out."
"Then you give Cesare yours and the boy gives me his," Emese said. "Do it!"
Artemis handed his own watch to Cavalieri while Patrick took off his with a reluctant expression. Seeing the defiance on Patrick's face, Artemis couldn't help but think that his son was a brilliant actor.
Snatching the watch out of the boy's hands, Emese glowered at Artemis. "If this is a trick, Fowl, you'll be sorry. You'll be very sorry."
"Why would I want to trick you when you're pointing a gun at my s… nephew?" said the one-time genius. "I'm not taking such risks."
"You'd better not," grunted Cesare. "And now quick, tell us what do we do with these?"
"Why in such a hurry?" Artemis arched an eyebrow at him. "Oh, of course, you don't want Butler to arrive here or any of the guests to stop you."
"No guests will spot us, they're all cheering at C-3PO doing cartwheels," Cavalieri snapped, getting more and more nervous by the second. "Now tell me what to do!"
Heaving a theatrical sigh, Artemis nodded. "All right. Put on the wristwatch. You too, Missy. The locator function only works if you're wearing them not only holding them in your hands."
Emese handed her gun to one of the guards, motioning him to point it at Patrick in case the boy wanted to do something funny; then she fastened the watch around her wrist. She examined it. "What now, Fowl?"
"Press the blue button first," Artemis said.
Both Emese and Cesare did so. A series of numbers appeared on the tiny screens set into the watches.
"And now? These can't be the coordinates!" Miss Hunfalvy huffed.
"Because they aren't," the Irishman said helpfully. "The numbers on the screens are random ones. They always appear before you push the red button. They only mean that the watches are ready to display the locator function."
Cesare stared at Artemis with a befuddled expression while Emese gave him a suspicious look.
"And now, push the red button – and do it at the same second, and then the locator feature appears," the Irishman said. "But you really have to push it the same second, otherwise the program will think that someone's tampering with it and will delete the stored data. I expect you don't want that to happen…"
"If this blows up, Fowl…" Emese hissed, only to be silenced by a wave of Artemis's hand.
"It would mean that my nephew blows up too. He's standing too close to you. He's too precious for me to lose just to do away with scum like you, Miss… I still don't know your name…"
"And you won't even know it," the woman growled. "Ready, Cesare?"
The man nodded. "Three… two… one… push!"
Cavalieri and his assistant pushed the red buttons at the same second.
The next instant the guards gasped, and so did Holly.
"What the…?"
"Master? Where's our master?"
"You blew up our master and mistress!" one of them growled, pointing his weapon at Artemis.
The problem was that they had had a plan how to deal with Cesare and the woman, but none for the guards.
Suddenly a beam of light tore at the air, hitting one of the guards who immediately lost consciousness.
The other guards looked around, trying to find the source of the attack, but could see no one.
Another beam came out of nowhere, hitting another one of them. This one staggered a few steps before collapsing, and collided with a third one, burying him under himself as he fell.
A fourth and a fifth guard dropped to the ground, and finally only one remained – probably the cleverest of all. Desperate to defend himself, he lunged at Patrick and jerked the boy before himself. "Who… whoever you are, you'll have to shoot the boy first!" he told to the invisible enemy, his beady little eyes scanning the corridor, trying to find the attackers.
"Patrick!" breathed Holly.
Artemis grasped his wife's arm before she could have done anything stupid. A second later Holly saw why Artemis had stopped her – he had seen what she hadn't: that the guard, who was expecting attack from the same direction the previous beams had come from, was staring their way, oblivious to the fact that the Butler siblings had just appeared on the corridor behind his back.
Artemis nodded, as if giving them permission to attack. He knew that even if the remaining guard happened to accidentally shoot Patrick in his attempt to defend himself from Juliet, there were fairies around to heal the boy. Those light beams couldn't have come from anyone else but shielded fairies after all…
Before the guard knew what was happening, Juliet had struck him down. One single blow from her fist at the right place, and he collapsed to the ground, dragging Patrick with himself, but letting his gun fall in the process.
"Nice one, Juliet," Artemis grinned, then bent to help his son up.
"Patrick!" Holly gathered the boy into her arms and hugged him tightly. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine, Mum," the boy replied, disentangling himself from her embrace. "Is that you, Uncle Julius?" He looked up, addressing the thin air.
Two fairies appeared, hovering two metres above the ground. "Who else?" Root smiled down at the boy.
"Nice aiming, Julius," Holly said, still pale a bit, but she was wearing a relieved smile. "You too, Wing-Commander. Thank you for helping us out."
"Don't mention it." Vinyáya waved. "Oh, and Short, you look quite pretty as a Mud Woman."
"Er… Julius, is she…?"
"Don't worry, Holly, no other fairy knows about your living with Artemis," Root replied with a fatherly smile. "And I trust Annie."
"Thank you, Julius." Vinyáya smiled gently at the Commander.
"Annie? Julius?" Holly raised an eyebrow at the two fairies. "It's true, then…"
"What?" Root frowned.
"Weeeell… Foaly wrote me something about you two dating, but truth be told I thought he was having me on…" Holly grinned.
"Dating? But… we're not… Or… are we, Annie?" Root looked at the fairy woman.
Vinyáya shrugged. "I suggest we go back to Haven and discuss it there… What do you say, Julius?"
Root coloured a bit. "Right. Let's mind wipe these idiots then go back before Trouble or anyone gets curious to know where we are…"
The two fairies fished mind wiping devices out of their backpacks and crouched down beside the unconscious musclemen to relieve them of a few memories.
"Hey, Julius!"
"Hey, Julius!"
Root looked up to see Mulch and Mulch approach. "Oh, no," he groaned. "I thought Foaly was joking…"
"He wasn't," Mulch1 said. "Why, aren't you happy to have two of me?"
Julius decided to ignore the Diggumses and set to work on the guards.
"Artemis…" Holly turned to her husband.
"Yes, honey?"
"Why are there two of Mulch? And what happened to Cavalieri and Emese?"
"There are two Mulches because of a little time-accident," Artemis said reluctantly.
"As to Cavalieri and that woman," continued Patrick, "we sent them back in time."
"Time accident? Send them back in time? What are you talking about?" Holly demanded.
"Let me tell you later, dear. It's quite a long story," her husband said.
"Fowl," Root spoke up as he fastened suction cups to one of the guards' temples. "I hope those two, that Italian man and his assistant, won't interfere with the time-line again."
"Don't worry about that, Uncle Julius," Patrick replied brightly. "We sent them somewhere where they can't influence history."
"Where?"
"About one hundred and sixty million years back in time…" The boy grinned. "Old Cesare's playing chess with the dinosaurs right now…"
"And the woman?" asked Vinyáya.
"We sent her only one hundred and forty million years back in time," Artemis replied. "To make sure that they don't meet…"
"Why not?" frowned Root.
"Because it would be highly uncomfortable if they met in the Jurassic era, and having no other humans to entertain themselves with, they began to have sex…" the Irishman explained. "It could change human history if they founded a family millions of years before humans were supposed to appear on Earth…"
"And they can't come back, can they?" Mulch2 asked.
"No." Patrick shook his head. "I made some modifications on the time machines, remember? I destroyed them enough to be able to accomplish one last journey only. They took Cavalieri and the woman to the Jurassic era, and there, they stopped working."
"It was a brilliant idea," Artemis said, gently ruffling his son's hair. "I'm proud of you, Patrick."
"I've just taken after you, Dad." The boy grinned up at him.
"I think you have a lot to explain to me, Artemis," Holly said, lacing her fingers with his.
"Yes, I know…" Artemis nodded.
"Block wipe done," Vinyáya announced.
"Then we're out of here," said Julius, turning to the Fowl couple. "You two, take care of yourselves, will you? Patrick, you may stay with your parents for a few weeks, but no longer than a month, or people at Haven will be getting suspicious."
"I know, Uncle Julius." The boy nodded.
"Julius?"
"Yes, Holly?"
"You two take care of yourselves too." She gave Root and Vinyáya a meaningful look. "And just so that you know: I'm happy for you."
"Me too!" chimed in Mulch1.
"Yeah, isn't this romantic! Old Julius in loooove!" added Mulch2.
"Shut up Diggums, and go, visit Koboi!" Root snapped at the dwarf. "Foaly tells me she's been phoning him for days, asking about your whereabouts. Though I honestly don't know what she sees in someone like you…"
"I don't know what someone like the charming Wing-Commander sees in someone like you," Mulch2 riposted. "But don't worry, we wanted to visit Opal soon."
"Both of you?" gasped Root.
"Why not?" Mulch1 smirked. "Opal's always had weird taste… bet she'll love a threesome."
The Commander gave the dwarf a patronising stare, then packed the mind wiper equipment into his backpack. "Talk to you later, then."
"Bye," added Vinyáya, and they both shielded.
"What do we do with them?" Patrick pointed at the heap of unconscious gorillas.
"They'll wake up some time." Artemis shrugged. "I suggest we leave them here. And let's get out of here the sooner the better."
"All right, but I'd like to say good-bye to my friends," said Holly. "I owe them that much. And I'd like to introduce you to them."
Although Artemis didn't feel like parading as Han Solo a single second longer than it was necessary, he nodded. They weren't in danger any longer, so why deny his wife a chance to say good-bye to three Star Wars fanatics?
"We'll wait for you in the Jeep," Butler said.
"We won't wait for anyone anymore," announced Mulch1. "We're going to our Opal now."
"She'll be charmed for sure…" Juliet hid a grin.
o o o O O O o o o
Jerry looked up to see Holly approaching with a dark haired man in her wake. "This little visit to the toilet took you long enough. I hope you're not feeling sick or something."
"No, don't worry, I'm fine," she said. "And I'd like you to meet my husband, Artemis Fowl."
"Your husband?" Doug blinked. "The dangerous lunatic?"
"What?" Artemis gaped at Holly.
She chuckled. "No, sorry about that, I had to tell them something…" She turned to the three friends. "I didn't tell you the complete truth, and I'm sorry about that. I was kidnapped by someone – kidnapped from my wedding. And since I didn't know whether I could trust you or not, I came up with the tale that my husband was mad and I had to flee from him… But he isn't mad a bit, and I love him with all my heart." She gave Artemis a loving glance, then turned back to the trio. "Please, forgive me for deceiving you…"
"No harm done, Holly." Nate waved. "We're happy your husband isn't mad and that he found you."
"What about the kidnappers?" Doug asked.
"We do not need to worry about them anymore," said Artemis. "I'd like to thank you gentlemen for taking care of my wife."
"No need for thank-yous, we've been enjoying her company a lot, she's fun to talk to," Jerry replied.
"Um, Doug, if you give me your address, I could send you your robes back," Holly said. "I can't give them back now, as I have nothing else to wear…"
"Never mind that, Holly, and keep the robes." Doug smiled benignly. "You may need them when you come here for the 28th Annual Meeting of Irish Star Wars fans…"
"Er…" Holly didn't want to tell him that she wasn't likely to ever take part in another Star Wars meeting. "Well, thank you, Doug. We're leaving now, I've only come to say good-bye to you all."
"We'll be missing you, girl," said Jerry, and standing up, gathered the fairy woman into a gentle hug. As soon as he released her, Nate embraced her.
"Hey, take care of yourself, and of that baby," Nate told her, and over her shoulder looked at Artemis. "And you fellow, next time take better care of your wife!"
"I'll try," Artemis replied.
"Do or do not. There is no try!" Doug said wisely. "Farewell Holly, and may the Force be with you!"
o o o O O O o o o
"I had to fight down an urge to roll my eyes," Artemis said as he and Holly made their way across the crowd. "Were these three quoting Star Wars lines all along?"
"Most of the time, yes." Holly shrugged.
"Poor baby. It must have been hard to stand it…"
"It wasn't that bad," she said brightly. "I really liked them, they were fun. And who knows? I might come here next year and see them again. You could come too… as Jar Jar Binks, for instance."
He shook his head in disbelief. "For a second, I thought you meant it."
"Why, don't you want to dress up as Jar Jar?" She sent him an impish look.
Before he could have answered, someone called his name.
"Artemis Fowl!"
Artemis turned around to see Dr. Po hurrying towards him. He was dressed up as an Imperial stormtrooper, only without his mask. "Artemis Fowl! How nice to see you here, and your charming wife as well! I never knew you were a Star Wars fan!"
Artemis made a grimace. "Funny, neither did I."
"Playing the sarcastic genius again, Artemis?" Dr. Po gave him a reprimanding look.
"Sarcastic yes, genius no," young Fowl replied.
"Huh?"
Seeing the school therapist's confused expression, Artemis shrugged. "I've been in an accident recently, and lost my genius. I'm completely average now. C'est la vie."
"But… but… you, without your genius?" Dr. Po stammered.
"Honestly, I don't care," Artemis said firmly, putting an arm around Holly's shoulders. "I have everything I need to be happy. Will you excuse us, Dr. Po?"
Holly was speechless as they left the gaping therapist behind them. Artemis – telling people he no longer was a genius? And to Dr. Po of all people?
I have everything I need to be happy.
Did he mean that? – she wondered. Glancing at her husband's peaceful profile as they stepped out of the building into the bright sunlight, Holly couldn't see the slightest sign of bitterness on Artemis's features. He glanced down at her, and his deep blue eyes radiated no sadness, no discomfort, no anger. Nothing but love.
Some kind of a miracle must have happened, Holly thought, and caught herself smiling as Artemis opened the door of Jeep for her. She only had to find out what that miracle had been…
o o o O O O o o o
A/N: bad guys taken care of - only two chapters left. Review, please!