Zoro was hiding in the guys'collective bedroom and putting the finishing touches on his cunning master plan (tentatively titled: 'Beat Up Luffy And Take The Figurehead'), when Usopp confronted him. "So. Uh, Zoro. You're, uh... in love, eh?" Zoro looked at him suspiciously, suspecting a Luffy spy. "Yes."
"With, uh... the figurehead."
"Call her Marianne."
"Marianne."
"Yeah."
Usopp chewed on that for awhile. Long enough, in fact, for Zoro to write two angsty haikus and one sonnet in Marianne's honor before the sharpshooter broke his silence. "Yeah, okay, I'll ask." He looked deeply into Zoro's eyes. "Zoro... what the fuck are you smoking?"
Zoro glared at him. "Me and Marianne share something special, Usopp. We're kindred spirits, and I love her. I don't expect you to understand."
Usopp shook his head. "I'm sorry, I must have had something crazy in my ear. Did you just say... I mean, how would you..." He shuddered, images of hot Zoro-on-Figurehead love ranging through his head. Why was there never a drill handy when a man needed to get the evil thoughts out of his head?
"Whatever. Look, Kaya gave me this ship. I'm not about to let you..." Words failed him. "Look, just don't, okay?"
"Usopp," he snarled, his eyes brimming with manly tears. "You can't stop us! Our love is like rain!"
The sharpshooter mouthed that last line to himself, trying to figure out what it was supposed to mean, but Zoro rode right over him. Verbally, that is.
"And anyway, you can't tell us what to do! You're not her real father! You're just trying to keep us apart!"
Zoro ran out of the room in tears.
Usopp shook his head. It had to be drugs. Poor, poor Zoro.
---
Short one this time, I'm afraid. Next up, Zoro cries into Sanji's manly bosom. Angst ahoy!