A/N: The song is Forgive Me by Evanescence
Part 5: Realization
Paige remained sobbing on her bathroom floor for what seemed like hours. She lay curled up in the fetal position, just wishing so many things at once that she didn't know what she really wished. Her razor was clutched in her fist; so far she was winning the battle against her urges.
Her cell phone rang again, and upon checking her caller ID she saw it was Hazel again. Sighing she decided to see what her 'friend' wanted to say to her. "What is it, bitch," Paige answered the annoying ringing device. She both loved and loathed the bitter anger in her tone.
"Paige, I know you must hate me," her friend began on the other end. "But just hear me out. I want you to be happy. Alex makes you happy. You make Alex happy. The squad makes you feel like shit. If you aren't thrown from the squad, you'll want to quit when you hear my news."
Paige sat up straight and wiped her eyes. "You have thirty seconds to say one thing I care about and then I'm done with you," she really didn't have the time to put up with Hazel's antics. "Starting now."
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
And I didn't mean to hurt you
"Alex was just rushed off to the hospital," at Paige's startled gasp, Hazel quickly continued. "Now before you jump to conclusions, no one beat her up and it wasn't an accident. Well, not the usual accident. I swear, I didn't say anything to her, Paige, but Jay might have. I don't know. All I know is that Marco found her in the girl's bathroom after she broke a mirror with her fists. He found her, bloodied, with a shard of glass pressed to her wrist. She started cracking up and then shoved the glass into her artery and passed out. That's all anyone knows right now."
I heard the words come out
I felt that I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you
Then you looked at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken
Paige shook as the cell phone clattered to the floor. She didn't remember dropping it, and she didn't hear Hazel shouting her concerns to her. Her mind blacked out. All she knew was the heavy bottle of shampoo in her hands crashing down on the razor multiple times. Her hands reached for the now broken item, and extracted the blade from the cheap disposable plastic.
I'd give anything now
To kill those words for you
Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah
Her tears mingled with her blood as her mother came bursting in the room, alerted by the pounding of the bottle against the floor above the den. Paige didn't care that the razor in her hand was moving seemingly of its own accord over her arm, legs, and any other bare flesh it could find. She didn't protest when her mom tore the blade from her hand and tossed it absentmindedly aside. The only protesting was done by her heart, aching for the ability to rewind and redo the last day.
'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me
I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive
So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry
After being patched up in the emergency room, Paige waited in the intensive care waiting room for word on Alex. Alex was still asleep after surgery and the doctors didn't know if and when she would wake up. Paige didn't really care to think of the fact that her mother needed an explanation. The only thing that registered in her mind was Hazel holding her close as she waited and prayed for Alex's life.
And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you
A/N: I realize the shortness of this update. I've been on a writing spree and have felt the need to get a large amount up in a short amount of time. The last few chapters have been really hard, but helped me get out some inner personal issues that needed an outlet. This is the end of the outlet: a transition period into the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.
This chapter needed to be short to fit the song. Too many words would ruin the meaning, you know? Paige and Alex hit rock bottom, and Hazel realized what her friendship with Paige meant to her. So this story will take a few days for a break while I welcome our ladies back to Degrassi. Thank you for reading.