A/N: Initially Alex was going to be released from the hospital back into Degrassi in this chapter. But I decided against it. This chapter is all about Paige and Hazel. I figured after the intensity of previous chapters, things need to slow down into a transition. This chapter will offer some explanations of where Hazel and Paige are going as friends, and whether or not Paige is recovering as much as she appears to be. It may be the next chapter or the chapter after next when I bring Alex back into the picture.

Now: The scene in which Paige broke the razor (In chapter 5). I'm not sure how accurately I wrote that. When I used to cut, I used exacto-knives and not razors so I'm unsure of how Paige would have broken hers. I just figured that in her rage and self-loathing the use of the heavy object to smash the plastic would suffice. I hope that wasn't a far reach as far as 'realistic' goes.

Song: On the Surface by Stand. (Yes, I love this group.) It took a long time for me to figure out which song I wanted to use for this chapter. I liked the content of the chapter, but no lyrics were fitting. Normally I choose a song that goes with the mood I'm going for, but it wasn't working this time: it's all about the content, not the mood.Finally I realized what I want to happen in this chapter, and instantly knew this song was it. Enjoy.

Part 6: Realization

One more week had gone by. Paige's scars were faded, and Alex was nowhere to be seen at Degrassi. That didn't have an impact on most people's day to day lives. It just gave them more reason to spread rumors about Alex. Now, on top of lesbian bully, the brunette had a label of certified mental case on her head. News had spread fast of Alex's freak out in that particular girl's bathroom, and the news was now twisted and contorted into a story of complete madness.

Rumors of Paige's sexuality ceased as she resumed her position as Spirit Squad leader. With the return of her popular status, the memory of Alex faded into the school's history as far as other students were concerned. Despite the seemingly erased 'incident' from the minds of Degrassi students, she still left a mental scar deep within Paige. It was only she and Hazel who waited diligently for the girl's return in the hopes to make amends to friendships.

She's so distracted her head looks like a train
That's been pulling too many carts
Sub-standard cameos, like the actress
Given the bit parts, where's your heart?

"Whoever's holding my left foot, stop slacking. I'm so damn crooked up here I'm practically parallel to the floor," the blonde ordered to the cheerleaders holding her up. She bet ten bucks that it was a new recruit. Sighing she held her balance as someone shifted her hold on the blonde's ankle. "That will do for now."

"Paige, stop being picky: this is only a warm up," the voice was Hazel's. "Just be glad we're saving our energy for the game," although annoyed at her friend, Hazel couldn't help but smile; the old Paige was back, except for one thing: "You can't cheer with those leg warmers and your sweatshirt on, you know."

They'd been through that issue so many times. Every day Paige was dressed in long sleeves and long pants. If ever she didn't wear long sleeves, she wore arm bands and bracelets up and down her left arm. The scars couldn't be seen unless someone was actually looking for scars, but the girl was just way too self conscious. She didn't want the school to see them and remember how they got there.

It's all genetics, she's feeding the starved
Their flesh, their bones
Until she engines out a plan

So far she's managed to give her peers what they want: a strong, normal Spirit Squad leader. As long as she kept it up, the past wouldn't come up behind her and bite her on the ass. She acted the part well, playing her cards with ease. Whenever someone had asked Paige about what happened with Alex, she would just reply that she was confused. She put on a show of weakness in a moment of confusion. When she couldn't get out of it, she didn't want to hurt Alex's feelings, so she kept pretending until things went too far.

But that was far from the truth. She was too scared to tell the truth to everyone, and Hazel saw it just as she saw Paige's self-loathing. The fellow Spirit Squad member was concerned for the blonde, but her ignorance made her irritable. No matter how hard Hazel tried, she couldn't convince Paige to see inside herself. It was like she was cut off completely from reality: More like she couldn't handle reality and just pushed it away.

Little miss drift-along, like in the movies
Given the bit parts, given the shit parts
But in command

A couple periods into the day, Paige sat in Mr. Simpson's class doodling absentmindedly in her notebook with one hand while typing d-mails to people with the other. Marco was shooting her disgusted looks, looking over and noticing that her doodles were hearts around Alex's name. He would have bet money that she didn't realize she was creating a shrine to the still hospitalized girl, but he was mature enough not to get under Paige's skin out of spite.

Finally having enough of her uninterested sighs and occasional twirling of her hair, Marco couldn't take anymore. In blistering frustration he snatched the pen from Paige's doodling hand; its latest masterpiece was a beautiful naked girl on horseback with a cape around her bearing Alex's name. "Paige, if you think you're fooling anyone, you're only fooling yourself," he muttered.

But what lay on the surface
Never expressed her underneath
And what lay on the surface
Only enhanced her appeal
For me to slip inside, she lets me slip inside

Unable to prevent the rush of blood to her face, Paige raised her hand and asked to be excused to the bathroom. Without realizing it, she'd gone into the same bathroom where she and Alex had talked two days after the premier. It was the same bathroom, she thought, that Alex broke that mirror over yonder and unwillingly tried to take her own life.

A glint of strange light shone from a crevice between the faucet and the porcelain sink. When she picked the unidentified object, and saw what it was, she rolled up her sleeve with a shaking hand. It was a piece of the mirror, with red spattered on it. That one speck of red tinge on the tiny, one-inch shard could be none other that Alex's blood. It was enough to make Paige break down.

Reveal it all or just keep this underground

The bathroom doorknob rattled, the door opened, and in stepped Hazel. Paige hurriedly pulled the sleeve of her shirt back over her arm. "Paige, the heat in the school is broken. It's like what, eighty degrees Fahrenheit? There's something up with you and I think your choice of dress is something to do with it," Hazel frowned and touched Paige's shoulder. "What's in your hand; is that glass?"

Paige shook Hazel's hand away from her shoulder as though it were a scorching fire. It was true; the heat was almost unbearable to Paige in her long sleeved, long pants apparel. "I found it wedged in the sink…it has her blood on it." Her gaze was fixed on the shard in her hand, but her eyes were unfocused and distant. Before she knew what was happening, Hazel had pulled the blonde's sleeve back up to her elbow. First she was angered by Hazel's unrestrained violation of personal space, but then she smirked at her friend's apparent shock. "You know what they say. Old habits die hard."

"You call this an old habit, Paige?" Hazel grabbed Paige's wrist as she began to turn away in defiance. "You cut once, once Paige, and it was in a time of desperation. That's not a habit, it's a mistake."

"Oh, sure Hazel, you're the world expert on self-inflicted wounds," the snapping remark stung. "Maybe if the cutting had been premeditated, it wouldn't become a habit. 'Ok, I'm depressed so I'm going to try cutting.' How does that sound versus emotional blindness? I didn't know what I was doing when it happened. All I know is that now whenever I'm stressed my first instinct is to reach for something sharp. I don't want to, but I'm not in control!"

"Were you in control when you left Alex at the steps of Degrassi?" Hazel's eyes were hard. "You love her, and don't you dare give me your denial shit either. You love her, but you were too scared of what I thought. Paige, I know I was cruel at first but I thought about it. If you're happy, I'm happy. That's what friends are," she softened up a little. "And friends don't let friends cut."

"So now not only do you decide my position on the squad with a vote, but now you decide for me who and what I'm afraid of? Screw you, Hazel. I'm sick of people judging me…"

"Take her back! Beg and plead on your knees, for god's sake!" Hazel threw her hands out in front of her for emphasis. "She should be back soon, and when she does you have a chance. Can't you see I care about you, Paige? You're waiting for her to come back so you can do what? Metaphorically kill her?"

"You don't get it, do you? If she and I are together, they will hurt her. I won't let that happen," Paige's stance said both everything and nothing. It said she wanted Hazel to leave her alone, but it lied. She wanted her friend to stay.

"You know what? Maybe I don't get you and your weird feelings for Alex," Hazel sighed and took a few steps back. "You won't let them hurt her, but will you stop yourself from hurting her? If I'm such a horrible friend to give you honest advice in your favor, then I guess I can just leave you here to wallow. Have fun with your damned piece of glass." And with that Hazel was out the door.

But what lay on the surface
Never expressed her underneath
And what lay on the surface
Only enhanced her appeal
For me to slip inside, she lets me slip inside

Reveal it all or just keep this underground

Keep this underground

A/N: Paigey, Paigey; what has she gotten herself into? Look's like Hazel actually has a human soul, but does Paige have her precious sanity? Can she listen to Hazel's advice and take it seriously before she gets in deeper?

I'm sorry if this chapter was a disappointment. I'm not so pleased with how I wrote it. Try as I might, it just didn't come out like the others. It was difficult because I wanted to just have Paige be sane and clear-thinking again. Because in a perfect Palex world clear-thinking is code word for Paige loving Alex withno confusion. Unfortunately, though, a perfect Palex world like that isn't realistic compared to the real world. So I was forced to continue with Paige's "popular cheerleader syndrome." It's going to take hard work to get those two back together...tell me what you think because I'm sure as hell lost.