Disclaimer: I do not own Ai Yori Aoshi and Ai Yori Aoshi Enishi. This is the property of Kou Fumizuki, Pioneer/Geneon, and JC Staff.

Blue Monarch
Act 1, Scene 5

It had been a few weeks since Aoi had that meeting with her father. Whispers in the house talked of the change of heart, years after the betrothal was annulled; they had looked forward to the union for years and their mistress had loved the boy all her life, but there was also the possibility that she would be ready to find another husband. All that their mistress needed was time to recoup before finding a suitable match.

Now that Aoi's reasons for coming home were redressed as something more presentable, more palatable to Sakuraba, all she had to do was hide herself away and try to recover.

She had left her home, the mansion, to escape her memories, to come back to Sakuraba, another home, only to find that it too had memories of him.

So home was not a place; home was people, a person.

Aoi decided to take a walk along the grounds of Sakuraba in an effort to stave her thoughts off Kaoru-sama and the past.

She passed by one of the family's servants, an old woman who she remembered was there even as a child. The elder smiled and bowed. "Aoi-sama, please smile. Your devotion to him is admirable, but some things can't be helped. Smile, ne, and know that any man would be so lucky to have you for a wife."

A small nod and a tiny smile, and she continued on her way.

Through her drained senses, the cool summer day was filtered to a drab autumn one, even though it was still months away. The blue sky was as bright as ever, but through tear-tired eyes, it was washed out to the point of grey. The sparse clouds could've overcast the sun. She looked up as one errant cloud drifted overhead, and all she could see was a sheer curtain covering a bright disk, like a dim paper lantern. Even the cool breezes felt more like the harsh whispers of cold.

The meeting with Otou-sama turned in her head. What she said, what she did.

Aoi was almost disgusted by her softened words. How could she cover up the hurt that he caused her when she wanted nothing more than to let everyone know how disgusting and terrible he was with his betrayal? She wanted to spew and rage and let it be known the misery he caused her, and yet, she couldn't bring herself to.

Maybe she was being more prudent. Even though the relationship failed, if it was revealed, it would cause internal rebellion within the Sakuraba group.

That was the problem of having a hidden relationship. Neither of them could not show it, and if anyone else intruded on it, they could not stop it. Appearances had to be kept up.

So this was pride. This was what that held every illusion together.

Aoi pondered her reflection as she stood by the still waters of the pond that she had found herself at. The surface acted like a mirror to her past, for she remembered another time held within those waters. She looked over her shoulder to the small building behind her.

She had spent countless hours there, engrossed in her wifely lessons. She was drilled and indoctrinated in the ways of dancing, cooking, presentation, flower arrangement, tea ceremony, etiquette, and so on.

This was the tradition for the daughters of the clan, of the zaibatsu conglomerate, and among her family, tradition was its own religion.

Her own mother had gone through the same, as had her aunts.

So that was the world she was born into and raised in.

At times, her mother and aunts had helped with her instruction. Miyabi may have been knowledgeable of the why and how and had a good eye for perfection and error, but as a modern woman, she was lacking in the application or the true inner workings that such lessons would come into play.

Useless. Everything for him was now a waste.

Everything she did was for him. She - his wife.

Thrown away.

A hot ball of anger and grief welled up in her chest, creeping up her throat, and her eyes began to sting with a new wave of tears, but a deep inhale and clench of her jaw stopped that. She had done enough weeping, and now was not the time to start again. She had to try to be strong, even if for a little while, and think of what she had presented to Otou-sama.

Bundled amongst those forcibly sensitive words, she had implied that she would find another person.

I owe you and Okaa-sama that much.

A future without Kaoru-sama.

A future with someone who was not Kaoru-sama.

If she could not think about the happy past, nor the painful present, then all that she had left was an uncertain future. Whether she could bring herself to be with another person, let alone love him, remained to be seen. She said what she had said, and though it was not a true promise, she wondered if she could uphold a deceitful, half-formed one.

Aoi looked into the waters and caught sight of one of the large mottled koi fish swimming over an algae covered rock.

It had been years since she stood in this spot, with no one else but her thoughts. If only her memories were more cooperative, because she could not remember anything to ease her pangs of nostalgia.

She tried to think of something other than grueling lessons and persevering for Kaoru-sama's sake, and all she could conjure up was her mother.

Aoi knew that her mother had been in the same situation as she was. Her mother, a very stoic, very private woman, never spoke much about what she went through with her father; Okaa-sama did not even recount her past experience to ease the anxiety of being betrothed.

The circumstances, the procedures were common knowledge, yet not the feelings.

Before she was known as Lady Sakuraba, she was Lady Okumura. The Okumuras' flagship industry was the innovation and manufacturing of dyes, especially their shades of indigo, and chemicals. For the Sakurabas, who spearheaded kimono fabrication, a dye operation would be a convenient addition to the group.

A corporate takeover was too impersonal, too distant; it could breed resentment amongst the workers. A union would be more effective with instilling the idea that two groups were coming together and cooperating towards one goal; this way, the resentment was isolated to those within the marriage than those outside of it.

Sakuraba was the bigger of the two zaibatsu, and it held more prestige. So it came to be that the Okumura's eldest was betrothed to the Sakuraba's eldest, and so the merger was cemented with Aoi as the issue of the marriage.

Okaa-sama must have given her some words on the subject of marriage, and she must have tucked this memory away because it would have been useful for her life with Kaoru-sama.

Aoi gazed into the pond again and recalled a time of feeling loss and confusion. Ah... that feeling of loss... It must have been around the time that her engagement to Kaoru-sama was nullified.

She must have been brooding here, just watching the water. Some of the koi aimlessly swam over the submerged rocks, and from the grimy layers of algae, she could see some white peeking through. She wondered if she should go and feed the fish, but the thought was stopped when she remembered the weight of a hand upon her shoulder.

It was Okaa-sama.

Her mother suddenly grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her close into a tight embrace.

When her mother finally did pull away, Aoi had looked up at her, tears threatening to spill at her confusion.

"Cherish what you have and never mind the hardships. Never, never let your grief consume you. Never..." Okaa-sama momentarily looked down and away.

She paused and then smiled tenderly.

"Know that with life comes many disappointments, many heartaches. I have lived with many, but Aoi-chan, I tell you that you are not one of them."

Her features rippled, smoothing over so that she looked stern again.

"Your father is a good man. He has given me you. He has been good to us and has provided for us."

Was she reassuring her daughter or herself?

Her mother must have interpreted the lost look on her face as confusion.

She clucked her tongue and shook her head. "Such a fragile child. May you know never the meaning of my words."

Such a fragile child, one who has never experienced hardship. That was how she was described. And so she was transparent in her emotions, a stark contrast to her parents' countenance.

Okaa-sama's words must have been about this, about the disappointment of an arranged marriage.

Aoi briefly wondered if mother ever felt as nervous, as excited, as full of hopeful expectation as she was. Maybe she lost that kind of wide-eyed innocence and notion of love a long time ago. Or maybe she never had it in the first place.

Throughout Otou-sama and Okaa-sama's marriage, they understood their duties and obligations and never hesitated in performing them. As far as Aoi believed, though it was not entirely a love match, they were faithful to each other and had a strong mutual respect and understanding that carried them both with dignity; this was something that was as close to love in the world of tradition and the zaibatsu.

They knew so much about each other; they made small gestures to let each other know that there was some feeling between them: a ghosting touch on the hand, a glimpse from the corners of their eyes, noticing the nuances in their rigid posture and knowing what each one meant.

Though Otou-sama and Okaa-sama never expressed themselves as freely as she did, Aoi had grown up feeling a strong sense of family between all of them.

Maybe that was why they were hardened, not because they resented each other, but because this tradition only brought them together only to keep them apart.

Aoi had never felt so much respect for her parents in her life than at this moment. She truly understood that while they did not initially love each other, maybe they did grow to love each other quite deeply; it was guaranteed that they would always be there for each other. Tradition bound them to constantly stand beside each other for the rest of their lives.

To think, she could have what Otou-sama and Okaa-sama have if she had just taken to another. She would not experience the cruelty of holding onto such great love only to have it purposefully sabotaged. All she would have are the constants, the guarantees, and a lifetime to appreciate them.

Oh, if only she had obeyed her mother and Miyabi when they beckoned her home. If only she had obeyed Miyabi when she came through the apartment door. If only she had resigned herself to the fact the engagement was over.

Aoi blinked. The cool breeze made the newly wet trail feel like an icy line on her skin.

"Aoi-sama."

Aoi turned slowly, cheek pressing to the shoulder of her kimono to dab the tear. She faced the servant girl, head still tilted but rising away from her shoulder. Her eyes were closed and a wide smile was on her face, appearing coy.

"Hai?"

"It... it's getting colder, Aoi-sama. It's almost evening."

She opened her eyes.

The girl was young and nervous, and she held out a tray with a small cup and tokkuri.

Aoi contemplated the offered sake.

"Could you please draw some hot water and leave it by the tub?"

"Hai!"

The girl left quickly and diligently, making sure none of the tray's contents fell over; she was not to refuse a lady of the house.

Aoi turned to the pond and looked into it again.

It was a good idea to take the drink with her to the warm water; it would help her relax as she took her bath.