A/N: Severe writer's block has really delayed this chapter. I apologize. I also apologize because there is no actual "song" for this chapter. I do not have the greatest repertoire of music in my knowledge of music.

So instead of a song I have integrated a poem into this chapter.

The poem is called Stripped and it is written by yours truly

Yes. I am indeed a poet. I'm not that good, but I try. I wrote Stripped quite a while ago. And one day in the shower it struck me that I might use it in this story

A random tidbit before we make it to the chapter: It's strange, but the shower seems to be a fountain of inspiration. For some strange reason it always cures my writer's block. Or maybe I just need to get myself a padded room in an insane asylum. Here you go. Chapter 10.

P.S. Mini Menzel, I know you know that I know who you are. Thanks for your enthusiastic reviews. It was also you that made me realize I should use this poem in this chapter. Whenever you've heard me read it, you've given me kudos. Thanks. It means a lot. One more thing before I talk to you at school tomorrow...no fucking green m&m's!

Part 10: Realization

You thought you had me.
In your strong, rough hands I shook.
I didn't think I wanted it, wanted you.
But I wasn't sure, did I make it clear?
Did you hear my pained whispers and cries of no?

They sat on the couch, a short distance from each other, just one hour after their emotional 'reunion.' Alex felt like she did in the hospital bed: when she had been shaking and in tears she felt the need for Paige's arms, but now that she was relaxed she needed her personal space. But only a little personal space; she still liked feeling that the blonde was there with her.

There was that trust issue again. She didn't distrust Paige, that wasn't it at all. Quite the contrary, she felt that she loved the cheerleader with every ounce of her being. The fact was that Alex's being didn't trust Alex. Violation can do that to a person, she thought ruefully. Any sort of human contact was sort of out of the question at the moment; at least until things were talked out. After everything, there was still the question of what to tell the Michalchuks.

When you had me pushed against the wall, your body pressing mine,
Did I only imagine I struggled, pushed, and shoved?
You touched me and then my mind blanked out.

"Don't worry about my parents, Alex," Paige sighed. She wanted to lay a comforting hand on Alex. She wanted to gently stroke her back and tell her everything was going to be ok. But she also knew that Alex would most likely feel even more violated at any unasked for physical contact. "First and foremost, you should probably…well, it's not a matter of should and shouldn't. I bet you really want a shower right now," another sigh wracked her body as she wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Alex grumbled. "I just can't go back to your house yet, Paige. Not like this. Your parents might just see me as unruly and unfit to be in their care," she shook her head. "I don't even know what I'm saying. I guess I'm just really shaken up," attempting a smile, she ventured a little closer to Paige on the couch. "I knew he wasn't happy about my switch to the other team, and I knew he wanted me back. I just didn't know how much. I mean, how could he say we could be happy together and then show it by trying to rape me? Love can't be forced. It's not love; it is condemnation and torture."

Next thing I know, I'm on the road running.
My memory breaks, and I'm under the shower, steamy water streaming.
Down in the drain, there's no dirt disappearing.
The filth is inside me, with you and your crime.

Paige looked Alex in her eyes, glanced down at her hands, then looked back to Alex. The brunette nodded and Paige laid one hand on her arm. The blonde nearly pulled back when her friend flinched, but decided to leave the hand there. "I know, Alex. I know what it's like," her eyes burned into Alex's; and inside them were confusion. "Look, I know you don't want my parents to see you like this. But if they knew what happened, they wouldn't toss you out. Shower here: I'm sure Hazel would be more than glad."

That wasn't the best move the blonde could have made, and she realized it when Alex jumped up from the couch and fixed Paige in a hard glare. "You couldn't possibly know what it's like to feel as if filth was crawling and alive, permanently glued to your insides and out," she wrapped her arms around her own shoulders and hunched up. It was almost like she was trying to hide from demons watching from every corner. "I feel…"

Curled up under the blankets on the guest bed,
I'm defiling my grandparents' home with my shame
You pushed me to the point I'm eternally alone, afraid.
Your voice is in my ear, mingled with my muffled screams.
When did that happen? What was it you did?

"You feel like nothing is real," Paige cut her off. She slowly rose to her feet and took a step towards Alex. "The paint on the ceiling, the-the grass on the lawn, each car horn that sounds on your way to school: nothing is real. It's all a dream turned into a nightmare by the memory of his hands. That's the only thing that's real in the nightmare because you hear his words and your screams on repeat in your head." Silence fell upon the room and both girls closed their eyes.

All I remember is my flight from your actions.
All I see are your needy hands bruising me and feeling me.

Finally Alex spoke. "So, those rumors about you and some soccer player a couple of years ago, hooking up at a party?" She raised her line of vision up to see Paige looking away. A hurt expression graced her features. "You didn't hook up. He hooked you up, and then threw you in the trash. Just like a fish that's too small to keep. He's a bastard, you know? They all are. There were so many rumors about you. I only heard the rape story once, but to tell the truth I had my doubts. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Alex, I can be here for you. My parents will be with you every step of the way. They were there for me, and now you're family. You can press charges, but let's not think of that now," Paige smiled and shook her head. "We'll get through this together, hon. Let's get you into that shower. The dirt won't wash off in one day, but in time it will fade. Reality will slow down to normal when…when the time is right for sanity."

Next thing I see, on memory's TV screen, is the blurred ground beneath my feet.
The seagull's screech up above, reminds me of unwanted, refused, received love.
Crawling up my flesh are scars, results and proof of my abuse,
For the whole world to see what you did to me.

Years have passed, as well as my physical torment.
I'm sure you remember how I squirmed in your grasp,
And how I tried to avert my eyes from your withering glare
You think you have me now, just as you had me then.
Trapped standing still while the world lives, spinning around me.
You have no idea, you cannot comprehend, that I'm moving forward
And I'm breathing again.

The next day was new at the Michalchuk's residence. Paige was on the couch again, but this time she wasn't complaining. Alex was curled up in Paige's bed, wide awake. She couldn't close her eyes without feeling like she was back on the kitchen table at Jay's place. She knew, however, that she was safe.

As the morning became afternoon, she went downstairs. She hadn't shown herself to Paige's parents yet. That night she and Paige had come home at night. Alex immediately had gone to Paige's room, without asking any questions. She knew that Paige wouldn't let her refuse the bed.

It was time to tell the Michalchuks everything. When things calmed down, possibly in two days, she would add the attempted rape charge to Chad's neglect and child endangerment charges. The case against her mom would be stronger, too. She didn't wish to hurt her mom, but she knew that without this case her mom wouldn't be able to get help for her alcohol problem.

She didn't know where she and Paige were going. Of course she wanted to pursue the relationship. It was great to have someone who understood her pain. After all they had been through this certainly had been an emotional way to be brought back together. All the faith she had left within her was telling her that she and Paige would someday have a future.

I still hear your voice, like yesterday's song,
You're being backed up by my whimpers and sighs.
Your face haunts my nightmares, but my strength lightens my dreams.
As hard as it seems, I manage to live.
I know I have someone with soft love to give.

A/N: Yes, I know. This chapter wasn't the best. I think the next chapter will take place a couple weeks in the future. So you'll get your fill of Palex cuddles. Now, here's the big question. This story will be done in a couple chapters. Sequel is possible. Yes? No? Tell me what you want.