Disclaimer: I do not own Ai Yori Aoshi and Ai Yori Aoshi Enishi. This is the property of Kou Fumizuki, Pioneer/Geneon, and JC Staff.

Blue Monarch
Act 4, Scene 1

Aoi settled on a bench on the end of the largest bridge on the Sakuraba compound. It crossed over the largest pond on the grounds, which was conveniently close to the main house. It was the bridge where she told Miyabi that she was supposed to be Kaoru-sama's wife when she was recalled home - it was the first time she had ever felt truly threatened that she would lose Kaoru-sama. That was the night that Miyabi most likely decided to deliver him to her.

She had in hand one of her books, and so she turned the pages slowly, her fingers aching every time she moved them. The bandages were gone now.

A breeze passed by her ear, a few strands tickling her cheek. Tucking the errant hair away, Aoi tried to turn away from the distant voices carried by the wind.

She didn't need to look up when it felt like someone had taken a seat beside her. Granted, he was perched on the other end of the bench, but she knew who it was.

"Ohayo, Seiji-kun."

"Ohayo, Aoi-hime. Your favourite, I see." He gestured towards the dog-eared copy of Genji Monogatari on her lap. "The Tale of Genji. How very much like you."

"Eh?"

"It's classic, traditional."

"Mm. I read it when Miyabi tutored me. I am still trying to understand it..."

"Don't get too down. Even if you learn everything you can about it, it's still very hard to read, you know. People have devoted their entire lives to studying it, researching it, making sure they understand it first so other people can too."

"Is that so?"

He smiled. "It is. But despite that, it still doesn't take away the fact that it's a very good book. Insightful, too."

"It may be insightful... but it bothers me."

"How does it bother you?"

"I... I never did like how he, Genji, had loved so many women... It saddens me. Even more so, now."

He nudged his glasses back up. "Sa... But he was a good man. His loyalty was admirable; he never abandoned any of his wives."

"A good man... But I don't think good men have affairs. To simply provide is one thing, to... to betray their love is another. Is it so hard to love just one person for your entire life?"

"All right. He was a good man, but a flawed one." He scratched thoughtfully at his cheek. "He was very young, and it was the kind of life he lived, being wealthy and handsome and constantly praised. I think his affairs and the conflicts he felt... it shows how hard it is to reconcile his duties to his passions... It's a very common theme, something that anyone can relate to."

She toyed with a yellowed, warped page. "I would have hoped he never loved again after his first wife died."

"Hm?"

"The lady of the Aoi chapter, she dies. I would have hoped that he would be faithful to her, even in death."

"Well, that isn't the way the story turned out, hm? But it's just a story, Aoi-hime, and it's about a time so long ago. Besides, it's not your story... Do you think that there is any way at all to get past this?"

Her silence was the only answer.

"No... I didn't think so. At least no way that any of us would know of. He has consumed all of your thoughts for almost all of your life, and you did say that you've gotten this far because of him."

"Ano..." Aoi started, changing the subject. "You were always skilled at telling a story. Have you ever thought of becoming an author?"

He laughed dimly, not bothering to to change it back. "It was my dream, but not anymore."

"When we were children, then." As if that was any indication. "You would tell me of all the books you read, and of life in... where you were living at the time."

"I used to."

"You still do." Her fingers twitched. "Why did you stop? I could have called you Seiji-sensei instead."

"I stopped because... because in all the stories I read, I learned many things. One of the things I learned was that obligations... well, obligations are very heavy things. And dreams, not so. They are light and delicate. And it turns out that obligations usually break fragile dreams..." Again, he pushed his glasses up. "Sa... Maybe I should stop reading so many books. I usually end up depressed. Or I should just change the kind of books I read. Maybe you should too."

Aoi shook her head. "Mm-mm. I do not think I will. Despite the fact that I cannot understand all of it and that it makes me sad, I still love this story too much." She held up her well-worn, well-loved copy.

His eyes widened at the sight of it. "I should get you another copy of Genji, Aoi-hime. I really should. Look at it. It's all dog-eared, and the spine has been stretched and bent back."

"I think I would appreciate the gift, Seiji-kun."

He turned to her and smiled, a faint reminder of her childhood. "Shall I go and buy it for you now? There's a leather bound edition I've had my eye on in Jinbochou. It's so beautiful; it's kept the original text and it has all these liner notes for better understanding and... and... ah, you should see it yourself. I think it's something you'll like."

She remembered the last time he assumed to do something she'd like. "Please, would you get it, Seiji-kun? I promise I will cherish this present."

Seiji bowed before her. "Anything for you, Aoi-hime."

Aoi was touched. He was her favourite cousin; really, he was her only cousin. He treated her more as his little sister, doting on her, though he was taught that he should be subordinate to her.

She watched Seiji leave again, and here she remained. She looked up at the sun, then at the grass that bordered the large pond.

The tips of her fingers were cold, like ice, and her hands twitched and shivered. She traced them over her palms and the back of her hands, chill as her touch was, and they felt soft. She inspected her hands all over and found all the faintly pink lines that were healing cuts, which weren't deep enough to scar. They appeared fully healed, though she felt (or maybe imagined) that they ached from time to time.

It felt like it was becoming harder and harder for her to heal now. It seemed that more than one illusion had gotten away from her. Home was filled with distant memories that she had forgotten, all because she had no one else in her heart except a boy she was promised to.

Shame filled her.

Aoi realized that her life was divided into three blocks: Before Kaoru-sama, Waiting for Kaoru-sama, With Kaoru-sama. She had never expected there to be an After Kaoru-sama, at least, not until she was well into her golden years. Her entire life had been defined by one man, and she never stopped to think that while her entirety was for another person, it was also inherently selfish. She could not define time in the Waiting Era since all the years blurred together until her goal was reached. In the Waiting Era, she did not pay mind to those who also cared for her, only giving them some token attention and taking in everything they taught and offered her as fuel to propel her towards Kaoru-sama.

The only other death in the family she could clearly recall was Obaachan's, and that was more than five years ago; she could only remember that because of the heirloom she received. It was something solid that she inherited, unlike the intangible skills and abstract lessons she was taught.

She could have brought herself to mourn for her dear aunt, but a short time after her death, it was announced that the betrothal was annulled.

So she chose to mourn the promise of a relationship to a man she barely knew instead of a woman she had also been raised and taught by.

She was lost when she heard the betrothal was dissolved, and the time until she would be connected to him felt longer than it should have been.

It was during that blur of years, the years between Meeting Kaoru-sama and Reunited With Kaoru-sama, that anything that had happened between those two points of time became indefinable. If there was some outstanding marker between Waiting for Kaoru-sama and With Kaoru-sama, Aoi would have to call it Finding Kaoru-sama.

She had to wonder, how did she find him in the first place? Her memories were a blur since she boarded that train and wandered lost in Ikebukuro station, and only until she was with him again that everything became so clear and sharp and defined. All she had was a scrap of paper with his address on it, and even then, she had scribbled it wrong.

She was noticing things more and more, and the glimpses of the once unreadable expressions on Seiji's face hinted that maybe he had helped her somehow.

It was an old memory, tied up in a dream. Or maybe it was a dream, masquerading as a memory.

She thought harder, trying to get past the blinders in her recollection. There was more to life than him, as she had learned from rediscovering her family.

Aoi's gaze became distant as she struggled to recall, but when she did grasp it, it played slowly as she tried to piece the words, the voices, the events.

"Aoi-hime, you've been crying for so long. Are you listening carefully? I think I found him. I think I found your Kaoru-sama."

She nearly dropped the phone in surprise, then scrambled to bring it back up to her ear. "Seiji-kun? Seiji-kun?" she asked, panicked by the second of silence.

"I'm still here."

"How did you find him?" She was astonished. She should have asked for the location first before asking how he discovered it.

"Even as a lower level employee for Sakuraba, there are many resources at my disposal." Traces of his smirk came over the line. "Plus, it helps to be closely related to Sakuraba-sama. Now, get a pen..."

Aoi already had the paper and pencil in hand before he even suggested it. "Hai, hai!"

"You'll have to go to Tokyo. He lives in a neighbourhood located close to Izumigaoka Station. The address appears to be an apartment number. It's..."

It was like a dream that she was afraid would escape her. Her hand rushed to catch up and scribble down the words and letters and street names that were Kaoru-sama's. In her haste, she did not notice that she had reversed two digits.

"Thank you, thank you..." she whispered into the receiver, tears brimming in her vision. She needed to hurry... to her room? To the train station? To somewhere, but she had to hurry.

"Aoi-hi-"

Click.

Hope had surged when Seiji-kun had given her his address. She didn't even consider how much he risked to give her those numbers and words. He could have lost his position in the company and any future prospects within Sakuraba to find someone so disgraced, and all she did was grieve and worry.

It wasn't fair.

Aoi could see Miyabi and Seiji and Otou-sama and Okaa-sama and she could now see that the zaibatsu, that tradition, had been very unfair to her family.

The entire clan's reputation rested on Otou-sama because he was the head, and her selfish pursuit was making an already difficult job more so. He already had to deal with in-fighting and the factions that would take any opportunity, any scandal, to usurp Otou-sama; now he had to protect her and the unity of Sakuraba.

Okaa-sama could do nothing, aside from support Otou-sama, run the house, and try to bring some sense and reason to a stubborn daughter who thought the clan reputation didn't concern her.

Miyabi was intimately acquainted with Sakuraba and the business, and highly accomplished in many areas of the corporation. With such talent, knowledge, and stern discipline, she could have been one of the few women to make the board of directors, and yet she was basically playing nursemaid. To a girl who wasn't even her own child! She had robbed Miyabi of a chance to realize her ambitions, to find her own love and start her own family... A lot of Miyabi's time and dreams were sacrificed for her.

And Seiji-kun... He was a prodigy, and from what she had heard, he proved himself to be just as capable, if not more so, to run Sakuraba by the time Otou-sama chose to retire. Midori-obasan was Otou-sama's sister, he was male, and he was born before her - that was close enough to be heir. And yet, he was most likely destined to become some sort of middle manager, or if he was lucky, a board member. All because he was not Sakuraba-sama's son.

Aoi reflected on her cousin, who she had known most of her life, and yet had forgotten about. Seiji-kun had been raised to protect and respect and do anything for her, even if his overall behaviour departed from what formality demanded. Despite her higher position, he had been given more than her: a chance to travel the world, to study abroad, and to be educated as well as become deeply involved in the family conglomerate. His position would be close enough to the top, and he had proved himself to be more than competent to become head if not for the assumption that her husband would be it.

And looking beyond him and all her family, she forgot she even had a life before - without - Kaoru-sama.

But of course, it had to come back to him. If he was to ever be with her, he would have to return to Hanabishi.

Aoi had always said that she could not bear to be the source of his suffering. To force him to go back to that place, filled with terrible memories, because of her... That she would not stand for. He truly deserved to be happy, and with someone who would not bring him pain, or remind him of his traumatic past. He needed someone who could understand him, all of him, heal his scars and give him a brighter future and never hold him back from experiencing all that he wanted.

All of the girls - Tina, Taeko, Mayu, even Chika - loved him and would be suitable for him. Of course, she was an obstacle to Kaoru-sama's pursuit, and she had removed herself. She never wanted to ask Miyabi how the other girls were, in relation to him. She knew the answer would only hurt her, no matter how innocuous it really was. In the instances she brooded, the pain of betrayal was at times replaced with loneliness, for she missed them. She was sure that all of them missed her too, for they were once a family. Even her absence was most likely a hindrance to their happiness.

What could she do to make everything right for everyone she loved and cared for?

Maybe what she could do wouldn't be enough, but it was the best that she could provide.

The trees that bordered one end of the pond began to prepare for the season. Autumn leaves of red and gold were shed as her thoughts turned over and over.