Chapter 11 --- Holding my last breath

A gloomy landscape of misty clouds captured the morning sky. It set the mood for Hermione. Memories scanned her head. She continued to lie on her bed; she didn't want to see him. She felt like dying. Dying was her only option. A roll of questions folded out before her.

How could I be so stupid? What do I do now? Why is my heart broken?

She felt like someone ripped her heart out and smashed it against a highway. She felt that there was no oxygen left in her body, she was lifeless. Thoughts were running through her head.

Why did I have to fall for him? I know the truth now. It never was and never will be. You're not real, and you can't see me. I'm everybody's fool. I feel like jumping off of the tallest cliff in the world, into icy water to capture my soul and leaving me to rest. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't it just turn out to be perfect? He seems to be taking over me, why do I still want him? Maybe it was love, or not? It sure did feel like it.

Tears streamed down her face. It was unbearable and she couldn't take it.

She wanted to punch him in the face, and again and again until he hurt as much as she did.

Too much pain pounded through her veins, love and hatred were combined. It felt like fire and ice. As she walked the halls to her class with a fresh face full of makeup, a poem played in her mind.

Looking through the icy glass of my life,

I have no fear.

Stepping on the cold stone of my footsteps,

The adrenaline sears through my body.

I'm not the only one who needs this.

One more jolt, and it's all gone.

Why am I this way?

I ask myself time after time.

I look up to the cold blue sky;

Now I know that I am broken apart,

And you would know that you shattered my life

And broke my heart

I look in the mirror I see my puffy, tear-streaked eyes.

Life is nothing like the carefree skies…

Hermione rammed into Harry on accident while walking down the corridor, "Oh, sorry Harry."

"It's O.K. Hermione, how are you doing?" Harry asked sympathetically.

"I'm fine," she choked out and walked away.

"Don't let him do this to you!" Harry yelled after her.

She sighed as she was walking fast down the hallway to her first class, which was potions. 'Just perfect, Gryffindors with Slytherins, this is just my day!' She thought.

She felt just as she did before when she came to Hogwarts; Lost and depressed. She walked into Potions casually and took her seat. Half the class was already seated. Snape wasn't in the room either. Draco was seated by a couple of Slytherins, but he was staring at Hermione. He walked over to her desk, and started to say, "Hermione, I know what you're thinking and you have every right to feel this way, but please just listen to me."

"Don't, Malfoy, you're only making it worse." She whispered quickly.

She couldn't believe he was doing this, in front of everyone, and he expected to make everything perfect again?

He took her in the corner of the room and started talking very fast, "You know last night was an accident, I love you, I've always loved you, please don't leave me. I need you, I love you, I know you hate me."

He was talking in gibberish, Hermione cried out, " I don't hate you, I love you, but without the mask where will you hide Draco? Your lost in your own lie."

A knife slit through her heart, to say those words to him. She saw the pain on his face, and her eyes were welling up with tears, "Please don't do this here, I don't think I can take it," Hermione whispered and turned away.

He turned her around, and kissed her passionately on the mouth Hermione shoved him off of her and ran out of the room. Tears streaming down her face. People gasped and yelled for her to come back.

'Why was I kidding myself? I shouldn't of went to class, I knew I couldn't take it, there's too much pain!' The words screamed in her head. She wanted it all to end. She needed it too end. She didn't think she could take it anymore if it didn't. Hermione locked herself in her room and listened to soft music.

Draco entered his premises and thought out a lot of things. He knew it could never be right again, because his father would never approve. Otherwise, he would have one of them, or both killed. He tried continually to get Hermione to come out of her room, but he finally gave up and went to bed.

Hermione awoke, and noticed that it was dark out. She must of fell asleep while listening to her music. She got up and looked in the mahogany mirror. Black streaks of mascara were caked under her eyes. She got a rag, and started to vigorously scrub with soap and water to make it come off.

She succeeded. While she was sleeping she had a very disturbing dream, but it seemed to make sense, because it was the only way to make everything right again. She was going to graduate, and have no worries that could haunt her.

Hermione stayed up half the night, thinking about her plan, and how to do it. She studied dozens of potion books, and ingredients.

At one point of stirring up her final resolution. She broke down and cried. It was too hard to go along with her plan. She loved him, but she didn't want to hurt anymore. It needed to work, and it had too.

It was dawn by now, and Hermione wasn't even tired. She sneaked into the Dungeon, to get her ingredients to make the potion.

What Hermione's plan was to make them selves forget about what happened. The potion she was about to create would make their memories dissolve, and there love for each other disappear.

All the moments they had together would be gone, even she would forget, because after she would give Draco the potion, she would also take hers. She would graduate and be happy, and things would go as planned.

She always knew Draco and her were never meant to be together. There lives were at stake so she decided to talk to Draco that same day and make it work. It would be painful, yet it was there final resolution….

Thanks to reviewers-

Goodybad- Thanks for everything! Lol, I love evenescense, I'm listening to tourniquet right now! Weird huh? But I hope you liked this chapter, and the final one, once I update it! Luv ya! Thx for hugs and chocalote.

Myheartyoursoul- Thank you so much for reviewing every chapter! I've only had a couple who've done that, but thanks a lot, and I'm happy that you like the story! I'm so happy! But sad, cuz the next chapter!

IndiaPyro- Thanks so much!

Dealnondraco- Thanks so much!

Iluvcharmed18- aww, I know, it's hard not too! Thanks so much, hope you liked this chapter!

A/n- this is going to be extremely hard for me to write the final chapter…It will be a lot of pain even for me. I just feel that them not being together rips my heart out. Because I feel like I'm in the whole entire situation just by writing it. I know a lot of you will be disappointed because of what's going to happen and there not going to be together, they'll just forget. But the chapter will be very good, and will be very emotional. I can't believe I'm doing this! The poem that was in the story, was mine, I wrote it about half a year ago…so yah But I feel my story will be complete, and I will be satisfied with it. I'm so glad that I could make a successful story! PLEASE review, and I'll try and get the last chapter up as soon as I can! I love you all very much! L8Ter!