I told you I would try to have chapter 10 up today. And here it is.
A/N: Ok, Booth and Brennan may be a little OOC, but please forgive me. You see, this chapter has alot of thinking in it and not alot of talking. I'm not going to tell you anything more.
I really hope you enjoy.
Booth stood in a field of flowers breathing in the sweet fragrance that floated on the warm air. Booth knew this field. He had visited it many times in his dreams and he knew what was to come. Even in the deepest realm of sleep, somewhere his conscious mind was awake. And in that conscious part, Booth knew that this was the beginning of a nightmare. A nightmare that haunted him, and would eventually wake him up. Yet, until that point, he couldn't stop the dream. Sometimes he thought that he didn't want too. This field that he stood in was the perfect memory of a place where he use to picnic with his family when he was a child. He often woke up in a cold sweat, cursing God for taking such a good recollection and making it evil and dark.
Booth glanced up at the sun as it hung in the flawless blue sky. White fluffy clouds glided by in shapes of ice cream cones and bunny rabbits. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Yes, he thought. Until the nightmare starts I don't want to wake up. I enjoy being here. I take pleasure in reliving this part of my past. Suddenly the sound of water caught his attention. Ah, yes, there was a stream that we use to play in. He started off toward the sound. Still fully aware that at any moment the demons would shoe up. That the peaceful sky would become dark with storm clouds and thunder would clash and lighting would rip through the darkness.
Yet, right now all was calm, and Booth smiled. He made his way toward the small stream, and could feel the coolness of the water already on his skin. He let out a sigh as he remembered how much fun he had in that stream with his parents laying on a blanket watching. Yet he knew what was waiting for him when he made it to the brook now. Old enemies would emerge; the water dripping from them red as blood. Their eyes would be black and hollow and their only mission was to kill him. Booth shivered at the knowledge. This nightmare never changed. It was always the same and it always hung a gloom over him for days afterward. So why don't I wake myself up? he thought. If I know how it ends, why don't I demand myself to open my eyes. "Because in a way this is what you think you deserve," a voice answered. "To be tortured for what you did. To remember the things that you saw that you could not stop. This is your own prison that you created for yourself." No, he answered. Why would I do this to myself? Why would I make myself relive time and time again the things I so desperately want to forget? "Because," said the voice. "Because you feel guilty for what you've done. You seek forgiveness, yet you put yourself through the punishment that you think you deserve. You are afraid to let yourself receive God's pardon until you are satisfied that you deserve it." Booth thought about the words. Was that what he was doing? Asking for forgiveness, but proving that he wasn't ready to receive it? Did he feel that he didn't deserve it?
Booth neared the stream. A gentle flow of water that seemed to calm his soul and slow his heart. For a moment he let himself believe that this dream would go on. That the nightmare wouldn't come and that he would get some peace. A loud bang cause him to look up. The sky was already becoming dark, and a cold breeze swirled around him. His heart quickened its pace and Booth felt sweat form at his hairline. No, he silently called out. No, please, just let me have a night of restful sleep! He heart pounded against with ribcage as the water before him started to boil. He knew what was coming. Wake up, Seeley! Please, oh, please wake up! Booth began to back away from the water as the first of many enemies began to surface. Wake up, damn you!
A brush against his skin. Booth looked down at his arm. Something had brushed against him. But what? What other evils can be added? His head snapped up as the sound of the boiling water ceased. The stream had returned to its calm state. What's going on? He quickly looked at the sky, which had become blue again. All traces of the brewing storm gone. Around him the birds began to sing and the air again became warm.
Something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye, and he turned to his left. Someone was coming toward him. Booth prepared himself, and began to walk in the direction of the approaching figure. As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was a woman. Her hair was hanging loosely around her face, and butterflies were circling her with their magic. He continued to walk slowly until the woman's identity could be seen. Bones?
Brennan smiled at him as they came to a stop before each other. She was wearing a light blue sundress. Like the one I saw the other week, he thought. I remember thinking that she would look good in it. Not that she would ever wear something like it. But it would- does- bring out her eyes. Booth didn't know what else to do other than stare. Standing before him was Tempe Brennan- his colleague, his partner, and probably his best friend- wearing a beautiful sundress and smiling at him through long lashes. "You can't keep torturing yourself, Seeley," she said. "You have to start letting things go. You're making amends, but you won't forgive yourself." Booth blinked.
"I don't know how to forgive myself, Tempe," he said. "I don't know what to do." Brennan's smile became wider and she held out her hand.
"That's why I'm here. To help you in you quest." Booth looked down at the offered hands and then up to her eyes; which were soft and warm.
"You drove the evil away, didn't you?" he asked.
"No," she answered, shaking her head. "You did. I just help give you the strength. Will you take my hand?" Again Booth looked down at the offered hand. He knew that by taking it that he was accepting not only Brennan's help, but also the fact that she would always be part of him. He slowly returned her smile, and took the offered helping hand.
Brennan shifted positions, causing her to brush up against an arm. Somewhere in her mind she was aware of the fact, but couldn't-or wouldn't-wake herself up. She was standing on an outcrop of rocks that over looked the ocean. Just like the picture 'Wander above a sea of fog', but without the fog, she thought. She took a deep breath and the smell of salt assaulted her nose. Above her sea gulls danced on the breeze. Brennan stood there and watched as the water crashed on the rocks, making a sound similar to thunder. This dream wasn't unfamiliar to her. She had had it many times in her life, but it was always that same. She would stand here, watching the ocean and wondering about problems in her life. She often stood thinking about how her life would be different if her parents hadn't disappeared. How would my life be better? she thought. She had come up with all kinds of answers to that question throughout her life, yet none of them gave her any comfort.
The sudden call of a sea gull pulled her attention upward. The bright full moon cast it's light down upon her, and thousands of stars spotted the mid-night blue sky. Each one a pinhole of light; some were even twinkling like they were dancing. She smiled as she remembered Booths words about twinkling stars being loved ones winking from beyond. Not that I believe that, she quickly told herself. But I can see why some people do. She dropped her gaze to the ocean and wonders for a brief moment about the hidden treasures that lay below the surface. Why the ocean? She had often wondered that. Not that she had anything against the sea, but it had never been one of her favorite places, yet she would dream about it frequently. Standing on rocks watching the ever-changing wave pattern.
A wind swirled around her, bringing with it a familiar smell. It wasn't the water or anything to do with the ocean or beach, but she knew it. But from where? Brennan turned the corners of her mouth down in a slight frown, before letting her thoughts wonder. Again, she thought about her parents, and the deep desire to know what happened to them. Why had they left? Where they alive? And again, how her life would have been better.
Brennan closed her eyes briefly as an odd feeling came over her. A feeling like someone had wrapped an arm around her, then the sound of a soft footstep caused her to turn. A man had stepped onto the rocks with her. The shadows over his face kept her from seeing who it was. "Who are you?" she asked, suddenly nervous about a new and strange figure being in her dream.
"Would your life be better if your parents had been there to raise you?" the man asked, and again Brennan caught a light whiff of the scent from earlier.
"Yes," she answered. "I would have turned out differently. Maybe even normal." The man continued to walk toward her, coming to a stop less than two feet from her. "Booth?" Quickly she placed the smell. It was his smell. "What are you doing here?" Booth smiled his smile at her, and she felt her knees become weak. Now that he was close, she noticed that he wear black pants and a white shirt. The perfect spilt of good and evil, she thought. If I believed in such things, she quickly added.
"And what's wrong with how you turned out?" Brennan watched him in silence for a moment before answering.
"I'm not like everybody else. I'm bitter, and angry, and just plain mad that they were taken away."
"All feelings you have a right to feel," he said, softly. "But if they had been there, you wouldn't be who you are today. Would you have had such an interest in science? Would you have become a forensic anthropologist? Would you be so dedicated to solving crimes? Finding out the truth?" Brennan thought about his questions.
"I would like to think so," she answered.
"Would you have had a need to?" She shook her head.
"I see what you're saying. That without the need to solve their disappearance, then I might have perused other options." Booth nodded his head.
"As painful as your life was after they were gone, it made you who you are today. You ask yourself 'how would my life have been better', but have you ever asked 'how would my life be worst?"
"Ok, other than the fact that I might not have been an anthropologist, how can my life be worst?" Booth raised an eyebrow.
"For starters, you wouldn't be friends with Angela." Brennan dropped her eyes.
"Ange is my best friend. I don't want to think of a world where I didn't know her."
"You wouldn't have been there as inspiration for Zack."
"He's a brilliant young man and I'm glad to be his teacher."
"Hodgins respects you more than you know," Booth continued. "He puts aside his conspiracy theories when you ask, making him an even better scientist."
"Yeah," Brennan started. "But Angela would have another best friend, Zack would have a different mentor and Hodgins would most likely still be Hodgins without me there."
"If you weren't who you are then we wouldn't be friends-partners." Brennan brought her eyes up to meet his. She swallowed hard. "It's okay to be angry about the hand that you've been dealt, Tempe, but don't think that your life would be better any other way. You want to know what happened, and that's fine. But would you really want to change the past?" They stood there, staring at each other. The nature playing them a melody.
"I guess that everything in our lives help make us who we are," she finally said softly.
"Indeed, and we both have things that we want to change and things that we want to forget," Booth told her. "But without all those things, we wouldn't be who we are."
"And if we weren't who we are, then we wouldn't be friends," Brennan finished and Booth nodded. He held out his hand.
"Will you take my hand, Bones?" he asked. "Will you help me along then same way I want to help you?" Brennan looked down at the out stretched hand and then up to his eyes. "You know that we can't do this without each other," he said. "It goes beyond friendship. It's deeper and it's something neither one of us can understand. But you know as well as I do, that we are in this together." Brennan closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them she looked up at the sky. A smile touched her lips when a shooting star arched across above her. That was her answer. She looked back at Booth, and reached out and took his hand.
Booth smiled in his sleep as his arm tightened around the warm mass next to him. He could hardly remember a slumber without nightmares or ever having slept so peaceful. The warmth to his side let out a soft sigh. Brennan couldn't help but to feel safe and tranquil. Feelings that she didn't have very often. She brought her hands to the arm that draped across her and gave it a tight squeeze. Never could she remember enjoying a dream so much.
Did you like it? If you haven't figured it out, the whole chapter, except the tiny bit at the end, takes place in a dream world. I love writing about dreams because anything can happen. Please R&R. Tell me what you think. And keep an out out for chapter 11!