Disclaimer: HP characters are not mine; "Behind Blue Eyes" was originally sung by The Who, Limp Bizkit has done a newer version, so that's not mine either.
A/N: Songfic challenge response for The Hideaway.
This is a darker fic than what I usually write, so be warned. Some of Lucius' words are rather rough, but they don't reflect my feelings. I was trying to get into his character.
I only write this in hopes that someday you will understand the reason I find myself rotting in this prison. I want the best for you and I hope that I have taught you well. While I cannot provide for you here, I trust that my legacy will live on through you. My blood flows through your veins and I know my values have become your values now.
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies
I dare say I have largely been misunderstood by the world. Money and power are great things, my son. However, you must know how to properly use both. I have been ruthless in my command of those assets. I want you to do the same. Remember that you will always have enemies. You will only gain more. Keep them close to you (as I have done with Snape) and pay for your friends if you must. You never know when you'll need their trust. Exercise your powers of manipulation as needed, but please, do remember that power and money can be taken from you if you are not careful. It is because of a bad decision that I find myself where I am now. I advise you against making the mistakes I made.
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
Don't worry my son. I have supplied for you continuing education and your future. You have all the tools necessary to be great. Will I be disappointed if you don't protect what I've given you and don't live up to your potential? I will. But I only tell you this because I've raised you to be much more than ordinary. Potter's fame was a fluke. Yours is fate. Slytherin to the core, I know you have the ability to command. You are a leader, just as I have been. But you must also learn which battles are worth fighting. Vengeance is best served cold. Don't be afraid to wait for the moment. Cunning is worth nothing if you have not patience. It is because of an impulse that I am here. In time, my moment to escape will come. Know I'll be back.
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do, I blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
Hate is a strong word, just like love. I do love you, my son, but I also hate you for what you are. Ungrateful, spoiled, and a brat. You must grow up or I have failed. It sounds as if you're becoming Snape, the traitor. He may have done the task for you, but it should not have come to that. You are supposed to be strong. You aren't. N son of mine is weak. That moment has come and gone. Now you must redeem yourself. The Dark Lord has expectations and I assure you, they are much greater than mine. If you think I am evil, you have not truly met him. Yes, I have protected you as much as I could, but the time has come for you to fend for yourself. Every father must let his son discover the world for himself. You must no make your own choices. I only hope they are the correct ones from now on.
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
One day I plan to break free of this prison. If Black can do it, so can I. One day I will come back to the rest of the world and they will not recognize the man they threw away. They will regret the choice, mark my words. Good and evil are mere ideas. Everyone is the same; some are just more likely to take action on their thoughts. When I am free, I will have no regard for anyone, and that includes you, my son. No one will be safe until I have regained all my power and made all those who defied me pay for their actions. Am I sane? Far from it. Was I ever sane? To some degree, no. I am a sadist, Draco. You are the son of a man who has little regard for life and a desire for world domination. Lord Voldemort may be considered the Hitler of our world, but I am much, much worse that that!
No one knows what it's like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies
You think by now that I have completely lost my mind in Azkaban. You would be correct. I have no remorse for my actions. He thinks I was unfaithful for all those years you were growing up. He was wrong. I always knew He would return. I planned on finding myself in a position of power when He came back. I regret nothing. I'd screw the world if I could. I am not defeated! I am not dead! Only when I no longer draw breath will I have lost! Yes, these are the words of a madman, a madman who was created by the world. My values reflect those of society; your values. You are my flesh and blood. Through you my plans will become complete. Forget he prophecy of Potter. The real power of our world comes from you. And as for Snape, the traitorous mud-blood, I will enjoy torturing him the most. I only ask you keep him for me, Draco. He is the real threat. I kept him close, make him trust me. I will destroy him! He will know defeat at my hands!
But my dreams that aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
Now that you know my plans, I will leave with you one final thought: what kind of world do we really live in? It is not a nice one. It's cruel and manipulative, everything I've taught you to be. And you will continue to be so. Why? Because you are my son, my flesh, my blood. Everything I am you will become. It is my legacy to you whether you want it or not. You cannot escape your destiny, Draco. Try as you might, it cannot be any other way. Talk to Potter if you must. He won't be around much longer though. Neither will you if you don't heed my advice. I may be a bad man, but I am your father and I know you better than you know yourself. Everything I said is true. You cannot escape destiny.
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
Signed, Lucius Malfoy
End