I Don't Know You
A Connection
He felt hollow. Alone. All he knew was that he wasn't going to be able to look at her again for a long time.
This was all because of my stupid, daft idea to get to know her!
He deeply wished he could turn back time. In his heart, Draco knew that he would never think of Hermione in the same way again. He knew there were going to be awkward times ahead of him. Them.
It was nearing six o' clock. Dinnertime soon. He wasn't hungry.
He decided he would stay here and contemplate what had just happened. He couldn't risk showing himself in front of the other Slytherins.
Hermione then appeared from behind her bedroom door.
"Dinner," she said quietly, not looking at him.
Draco nodded, as his knees wobbled, threatening to give in completely. Luckily, she left through the portrait before that could happen.
He collapsed onto the couch and gazed into the fire, thinking of nothing. His mind went blank.
The week crawled along as Draco attempted to rid his thoughts of Hermione Granger. He was only just barely scraping grades, he was so distracted. He just could not figure out what had brought on these new emotions.
But as time went on, he slowly, surely, began to convince himself that nothing had happened. Their moment had been a figment of his imagination.
He had also spent the week avoiding Pansy discreetly. He dodged her in the hallways, and found himself constantly ducking into mysterious abandoned classrooms. For some reason, Pansy had been annoying him lately with her overly applied makeup and big kissy lips. Nothing about her was real, nothing.
He awoke up in the early hours of the morning, deeply thankful that it was a Saturday. No need face his friends if he didn't want to.
But what he didn't quite understand, was why he felt like he had betrayed everyone and everything he had ever known. It wasn't like we did anything! We just looked at each other!
But it felt good. I felt… He stopped himself. He was treading on dangerous grounds again. Grounds that he had tried time and time again to push to the back of his mind. But then the flow of thoughts beat his desire to conceal them, and, reluctantly, he allowed them to resurface.
He couldn't deny that there was something there. Something they were both too scared to say aloud or to even think about, but couldn't avoid. What was it?
Then he noticed he was curled up in a red blanket. Must have fallen asleep on the couch again. Wait. I don't remember putting that blanket on…
Hermione must have… Oh, God.
Four o' clock in the morning, according to his watch. Draco felt pretty awake, so he pried himself off of the couch, heading towards his bedroom door to dress for the day.
But then he stopped, while passing the door to Hermione's room. She's still asleep.
Without really thinking about the consequences, he pushed open the door, and what he saw struck him deeper than he could have imagined. There she was, sleeping peacefully. How could he ever have thought she was ugly? If anything she was…No. Don't think that.
Just seeing her confirmed the worst... or the best.
These feelings were not temporary. And they were not simple. They were complicated and confusing. Full of life, and anger, and sadness, and hate, and love. Happiness. He was filled to the brim with all of these strange new thoughts when he looked at Hermione. And though he did not want to admit it, it was good to feel this way. Watching her made him feel more real- like a human being. Like something on this earth existing right now. There is something bigger out there than me. There is more to life.
For the first time, Draco Malfoy understood the way things were. Perhaps better than most people. But the question was: Why did Hermione cause him to feel this way?
Zooming back to the present and pushing these new thoughts to the back of his mind, he whipped around and got out of there. He breathed a sigh of relief, glad for not being caught.
But immediately he missed the whirlwind of emotion that passed through him only moments before. He felt empty without it.
After a moment of consideration on what to do with himself, he decided to go for a walk on the grounds to clear his mind. He threw on a coat and stepped out into the dark hallways. It wasn't even light out yet.
A few minutes later Draco was outside in a miniature courtyard near the entrance to the school. He gazed around at his surroundings. The forbidden forest, the quidditch pitch, the garden beside Hagrid's hut, the lake, the way into Hogsmeade… And of course, the large castle that never failed to astound him. He could go anywhere.
But instead he chose to sit on a bench that was only a few feet away from him. So much for a walk.
He had planned to sit in solitude and contemplate what had happened when he noticed a figure sit down beside him. He didn't need to look up. He knew who it was.
"Draco…"
She had used his first name.
He brought his eyes to meet hers and the wonderful, new emotions came rushing back. He wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world.
"Hi," he replied, this time staring straight into her eyes, unafraid.
"Couldn't sleep?"
He nodded.
"Neither could I."
"Thanks for uhh… Putting the blanket on me."
She laughed a little, modestly. "Well, I didn't want you to be cold."
A long silence fell between them. But it wasn't awkward, or embarrassing. They both were content with the presence of the other, and needed nothing more.
She looked away. Why do you turn away? Look at me! Please, Hermione, I need to see your eyes. I need to know who you are. People say eyes are the windows to the soul. Prove it!
As if on cue, she turned her head back towards him.
Gods, she's beautiful. And there it was. This time, he didn't ignore the thought.
He gazed at her auburn hair that cascaded in delicate tendrils down past her shoulders. One lock floated in front of her eye, how he longed to brush it away for her.
"The sun is coming up," she lifted a finger to the sky, which had indeed begun to fill with orange, yellow and purple light.
Together they watched it, mesmerized. Never before had Draco appreciated it like he did then.
"It's beautiful," Hermione whispered.
You're beautiful.
She shifted her body to lean against his, and he placed his arm around her shoulder gingerly.
He didn't know how long they sat there. It could have been hours. Days, for all he cared.
Soon the castle began to show signs of life.
"Well, I guess we should go. It'll be breakfast soon."
Draco swallowed.
"Yeah," he choked out.
"I guess... I'll see you later."
She got up and walked away, disappearing behind the large doors.
(A/N: Thanks to those who review multiple times! Next one up soon..)