3
Julia was tired. She was so tired. Yet she knew she had slept for a long, long time. She felt a bit cold. Had she left the windows in her room open again? Or was it snowing in Deling? She forced herself to open her eyes and she was surprised to see that she was inside a cave. She opened and closed her eyes as they slowly adjusted to the light. Her back ached because she slept on the hard floor. She sat up, leaned on the wall and saw the remnants of fire and burnt sticks. She was confused more and more each second.
Suddenly images flashed back on her memory. She was on a train. She was walking on a snowy field. She was desperately looking for Laguna Loire. She felt dizzy and fell unconscious.
She knew the consequences of what she had done. And she knew that back then, she was not in her right frame of mind. Who could've rescued her? Who was crazier than her to do such thing? The answer to her question was sitting across her.
He was sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him. His back was on the wall and his head drooped, a sign that he was asleep. His sable hair was a bit messy and partly covered his eyes. She also saw that he had dried up blood on his left cheek. He obviously had a cut there. There was another cut in his lower lip, as they seemed chapped and dry. His hands were tucked around his waist, a clear sign that he was feeling cold.
He looked so tired and vulnerable.
She got up and moved to his side when she realized she was wearing an oversized coat. His coat. She quickly removed it and covered him with it. The moment the cloth touched him, his head quickly moved upward and his eyes were suddenly wide-awake.
"Oh, Richard, I'm so sorry I woke you up!" she said in apology as she replaced the cloak around him firmly this time.
"No… I wasn't asleep to begin with… I... Uh… guess I did doze off for a few minutes," he replied with a grin as he shyly looked at her.
So Richard was her rescuer. She hadn't expected that. It was weird… She had been asleep the whole time and didn't know of him rescuing her but she did dream that she was rescued by…
"You called me Richard," he said in a surprised tone, as if it were important news.
"Well… yeah… you are Richard. Right?" Julia replied half jokingly as she gave him a confused look.
"No, no, that's not what I meant. If you called me Richard then… you're probably feeling better now" he told her with a weak smile.
Feeling better? "Was I sick? I feel quite all right," she quirked an eyebrow at him, "why? What happened? I hope I didn't bother you much."
Richard shook his head, "no, you were not a bother at all. You were just a bit delirious that's all."
Delirious? All the while, she dreamt of being rescued by… Oh no…
"Why Richard, what have I been calling you?" she asked worriedly as she placed her hands firmly on his arm.
He didn't answer her for a while, and when she saw a passing look of sadness, bitterness and pain in his eyes, she instantly knew the answer.
"It doesn't matter. What matters is that you're all right," he said with yet another weak smile. "Are you hungry? I made some soup for you."
It wasn't a dream. She had unconsciously acted it out on her unsuspecting victim. She had painfully sliced his heart.
"Oh Richard… I'm…"
"You need to eat a lot to gain your strength. You've been asleep for quite a while. I think you got the early symptoms of extreme cold exposure. Good thing it didn't get worse." He deliberately cut her off and changed the topic. She knew that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. He had closed the book for the two of them.
He got up and the cloak fell on the floor. She picked it up and clutched it tightly to her chest; she whispered her apology to it, wishing that it would reach its owner.
She noticed that he limped slightly and there were several tears on the sleeve of his jacket. He got a can of soup and gave it to her before he turned away and looked for something to do.
"Richard? Are you all right? You're limping," she asked him worriedly. Could she have caused this?
"No, it's nothing. I just had… pins and needles," he replied with her back to her, "that's right. Pins and needles." There was uneasiness in his voice. She knew that he was feeling intense pain but decided to let him have his way for the moment. She knew that forcing him to admit he's feeling something wouldn't be too helpful anyway. He would just stubbornly brush her off and find his status insignificant. She quietly ate her soup as she watched him fix the contents of his knapsack. The awkward silence lasted for about 5 minutes, but for Julia, it felt like a decade.
Finally, she cleared her throat and asked, "So… how long have I been… delirious?" She nervously stirred the remaining contents of her soup as she waited for a reply.
"The whole day yesterday, I think," he curtly replied. She waited for a while to see if he'd say anything more. When he didn't she realized that maybe he was mad at her.
She placed the can down and crawled to him. She hugged him from behind and laid her head on his back – a gesture she normally did when they were younger. "Richard, I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me…"
She felt him stiffen in her embrace for a moment and then he craned his neck to look at her. "No, don't be sorry. I'm not mad at you. You did nothing wrong."
He sounded sincere yet she felt that he was being slightly cold to her, in a way. He was her childhood friend and he knew her from head to toe. Although they grew up and their feelings have changed, he was still the best friend she ever had. The fact that he risked his life to save hers was already a proof of that.
She had rejected his pledge of love a few days ago, and she unconsciously showed him how much she loved another man. Surely he was going through a lot of pain, caused by her, right now.
"About the fight we had the other day…"
"No, it's ok," he turned around to face her and solemnly took her hand in his. "It's all right. No hard feelings. I promise."
But she could see the pain behind his faint smile. They gazed at each other's eyes for a moment until Richard broke away. He zipped his bag and placed it slowly in front of him.
"I've estimated that we'd reach the boat I've brought with me in 5 hours, more or less. If the storm doesn't get worse or if we don't encounter too many fiends, I guess we'd get there about 2 hours earlier." He returned to his 'all-business' mode.
"I'm just wondering… how come you're on your own… I mean, shouldn't you be with a rescue team or something?" she asked curiously, deciding that she'd forget about everything since he kept changing the subject anyway.
"We're on our own. At least that's what the army told me," she could hear a tinge of bitterness in her voice.
She was shocked. He risked everything, just to save her. He rescued her on his own. And all she did was give him pain to repay his goodness.
"Richard…"
He stretched out his hand to her. "Ready to go? C'mon, hop on my back."
And he had carried her around. As if walking around on the muddy ground wasn't hard enough already.
"No, I can walk. I've burdened you too much already."
"Nonsense."
"No really, you don't have to worry about me," her eyes were cast down with guilt.
"All right, if you say so."
As the pair walked out the cave, she saw a blood trail, with about ten horns scattered about and a defeated hornless mesmerize lying on a corner. She had to close her eyes from the frightful scene. She ran hurriedly away from it for she knew that dead monsters usually disappear to thin air. This one hasn't so it's probably just badly injured.
"Hey, don't worry, it won't be able to hurt you anymore. It'll die in a few hours." He sounded so wicked yet his voice was laced with gentleness for her that Julia felt safe and sound.
She was very confused at that moment. She loved Laguna with all her heart but why was it that Richard made her heart beat faster? She had turned him down when he told her that he loved her a few days ago, even told him that they can be nothing more than friends but now that she's here and he's a few inches from her, trudging in the snow-like mud, her heart was telling her a different story.
Maybe she only felt thankful to him because he had saved her but… Richard was very dear to her. She spent the happiest days of her life with him, in their childhood while she only spent a night with Laguna…
After an hour of silent contemplation, she didn't know what to think anymore. She didn't know what to say. She didn't even know how she felt.
He suddenly fell down the cold ground and Julia ran to him as fast as she could. She knelt down beside him and held on to his shoulders to steady him. There were drops of blood on the ground and she saw that the wound on his cheek started bleeding again. He sucked air in short breaths and his eyelids were partly closed. He looked like he needed a day of sleep. She touched his cheek in an effort to stop the bleeding as her thick mittens absorbed the blood.
"Sorry…" he laughed a little, "I tripped."
She knew he felt worse than what he showed her and she got even more worried. "What if we stop for a while? You need to rest."
"We already wasted too much time, we need to get out of here before things get any worse." He struggled to get up and before Julia even had the chance to offer her help, he was already walking away from her.
They continued to walk in silence once more. Julia hugged herself as the wind blew harder and faster. She can't believe what she had gotten herself and Richard into. She then looked at her hand, where her mittens were and saw traces of Richard's blood. He was hurt because of her, as if hurting him herself was not enough. She tried to walk faster to be by his side. She had to talk to him whether he liked it or not, but the winds were too fast and the snow was high on her knees. They were already feeling a bit numb because she was not used to that kind of atmosphere. She finally got closer to him when he stopped and looked as if he was getting something from his knapsack.
"Richard? What's wrong?" she had to shout for him to hear. The winds were very furious.
He took out a small, rocket looking thing and held it firmly on his left hand. "I'm sending a flare signal"
She noticed his hands shaking and his lips were turning to a darker shade. She placed her hands over his gloved ones and she could still feel the coldness amidst all the cloth between them.
"…The… fiends… they … might leave… if I scare them… off… with … a signal," his voice quivered as he fought to say the words.
He then got her hand and gave her his gun. "…You… know… how to… use it… right?"
She was confused. Why was he giving her his gun? She knew how although she never used a gun before. Though she was confused, she took it anyway.
He looked into her eyes and she saw that his eyes looked dull. He looked so exhausted and helpless; she never saw him in this condition until now. As they got up, Julia held on to his hands tightly, making him understand that she had no plans of letting go. He held on to her hands as well and gave her a weak, reassuring smile.
"I promised that… I'd get… you out of …here. …Hold on… Just a... little…longer," she barely heard him say but it was like he needed the encouragement more than she did.
"I believe in you," she told him, with tears falling from her eyes. She never felt this much fear ever in her life. What's happening to Richard? What's going to happen to them?
After a while, the biggest miracle happened. Julia heard a chopper coming and surely enough; she saw it hovering above them. It slowly went down and more tears escaped from Julia's eyes. They were saved. The Galbadian army wasn't as cruel as she thought after all.
Richard didn't look as excited as she was and she had to nudge him and grab his shoulders to shake him.
"Richard! They've come to rescue us!" she had shouted at him.
He merely looked up and smiled a bit as he let Julia drag him to where the chopper landed. Just then, a group of monsters came their way, thinking that a big prey just came in. She heard gunshots and monsters screaming in agony. Richard seemed to have one last surge of energy as he instinctively covered her in an attempt to shield her from harm. Because of the chaos and confusion around her, her feelings suddenly got all jumbled up inside. She felt fear, pain, guilt, sorrow, happiness, love and all sorts of emotions that after she let out a shrill scream, everything around her turned black.
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She woke up about 5 minutes later and she shouted Richard's name. It was barely heard however as the sound of machines and air blades working double time filled the air. She was inside the chopper and they were hurriedly making a quick getaway.
She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder and realized that it came from Richard. He was right beside her that she was almost leaning on him.
"We…made it," he said and Julia instantly threw her arms around him and sobbed in his chest. He placed a hand on her back and tried to soothe her. "It's …all right... now."
Another voice brought her back to reality.
"It's a good thing we found you, when we found you sir," A voice from behind Julia said. She wiped off her tears and looked around her. It was a soldier.
"Thanks men… if not for you…"
"President Deling dispatched us as soon as he heard what had happened. He said that he couldn't let his best soldier and … the most popular citizen of Galbadia to disappear just like that.
She heard Richard chuckle as the soldier continued, "But actually sir, even before the President gave orders, we were already planning to rescue you, even if we had to break protocols." Julia listened to them intently. General Caraway was respected and… loved by his men.
"How did you find us? When Richard… General Caraway didn't have a radar or a tracking device with him… since the army told him that he was in it alone."
"The flare signal ma'am."
So Richard's signal served a double purpose…
"We're sorry about how the monsters appeared out of nowhere. I made a mistake of hitting a 'nest.' I think it had scared you too much ma'am," The pilot said apologetically.
"Yeah good thing my guns were cocked and ready," the co-pilot admonished him a little.
"It's all right…" Julia breathed out in relief. She looked beside her again and saw Richard's head drooping to the side and partly leaning on the chopper's wall. She felt something tug in her heart and she was moved with sympathy. She gently pulled him to her and let his head fall on her shoulder as his body slowly leaned on hers. She placed her arms around him and shifted to a more comfortable position.
She didn't care much about the other people in the chopper (and they were preoccupied with other things anyway.) She just held him close in an attempt to make him feel safe, the other way around. She gently placed one hand on his head and gently brushed away the loose locks of hair from his forehead. She then unconsciously hummed a tune of a famous love song.
It's over and they won. They had survived. Richard kept his promise, till the very end.
But now that one thing's over, she is faced with another predicament. How is she supposed to deal with Richard now? She owed her life to him and she owed him a big apology because of all the pain she had caused him, both consciously and unconsciously. Should they go on with their lives and put everything behind them? Just like that? That's simply not possible.
But it would be wrong for her to suddenly love him out of gratitude… she would just fool him and herself. She would play a game of make pretend… or would she really? Richard's not a hard man to love especially since she had known him all her life. They were the best of friends. They only got separated 14 years ago when Richard had to leave for the army.
She somehow felt betrayed when he told her that he loved her back then when he promised to be 'the best' to her. They were supposed to be best friends, nothing more, nothing less. She was filled with shock at that moment and that might have caused her anger. She was wrong. She shouldn't have been angry with him. They were only human. Humans make mistakes; humans fall in love.
She gasped out aloud when Richard suddenly fell down limply on her lap. His skin felt cold to her palm and he looked clammy. She quickly got the attention of the soldier beside her.
He took out a small flashlight and opened one of the general's eyelids as Julia held on to the fallen man's hands and almost did not feel his weak yet speeding pulse.
"Dilated pupils," the soldier mumbled as he checked his pulse rate. He had a bluish pallor and he took in quick and shallow breaths. The soldier helped Julia stretch out Richard to a more comfortable position, with his head pillowed in her lap.
"Captain, this looks bad," she heard him say as she quickly loosened Richard's clothes.
"What's wrong lieutenant?" the co-pilot asked, worry evident in his voice.
"General Caraway is showing early signs of shock. Must've been caused by over exposure to the cold… wait." The soldier stopped after he saw patches of blood in the officer's shirt.
"Might be traumatic shock. I suggest we make an emergency landing at the nearest city."
They all sounded serious and it was enough for Julia to realize that Richard was in grave danger. He just might die.
She prayed. She prayed to all the gods and prayed all the prayers she knew. She'd give up anything just for him to be saved, for him to live. In the middle of all the confusion that's happening at that moment, she finally got one thing clear.
She can't live without him.