I Don't Know You
Worth it
After hours of planning how he was going to tell Hermione the truth, Draco had fallen asleep in the chair with his list dangling loosely in hand.
He had not come up with the perfect way. He needed a time, a place, and a starting sentence… And he needed all this soon. He had to tell her before he fell apart. She had to know.
"Malfoy,"
Draco woke with a start to find her standing before him. His eyes lazily closed again. I must be dreaming.
"Malfoy!" she kicked him in the shin.
"Ouch!" Definitely not a dream.
"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded, showing no sympathy towards Draco for injuring him. At least she hadn't brought up their kiss. I want to delay that talk for at least another couple of days.
"Meaning of what?" he spat out, while tenderly nursing his leg.
"You know what I'm talking about," she said coldly as she thrust the list in his face.
Oh Fuck. What do I do?
"I… uhh…"
"'H' doesn't stand for 'Hermione', does it?"
"No, it stands for 'Harry'," he said sarcastically, trying to distract her from getting to the point.
"Tell me what?" she said, pointing to the sixth option.
"Nothing."
"Tell me WHAT?"
"I… I'm not saying." He tried to get up from the chair, but she grabbed his arm, persisting.
"Malfoy, if you don't tell me, I will find out on my own. I always get to the bottom of these things."
"Alright, but you'll never guess…"
"Dammit Malfoy!" she shouted, clearly frustrated. It was amusing that she could not figure out something that he thought should be incredibly obvious by now.
"Please, Granger, do me the courtesy of calling me by my first name."
He wasn't sure why he was playing coy with her now. It was just so satisfying to see her squirm.
"You do me the same courtesy then."
"Fine, Hermione."
"Draco."
He loved it when she said his name.
Then the determined expression on her face turned thoughtful.
"Who are you Draco Malfoy?"
He didn't offer a reply, confused at this question.
"I've seen too many versions of you in the past few weeks. There's the typical mean, rude Malfoy," she counted on her fingers, "There's the shy, awkward boy who always tries to say the right thing… And the sensitive Malfoy who sat with me and watched the sun rise."
At these words Draco's cheeks flushed, and he turned away, determinedly avoiding her gaze.
"Answer me, Mal- Draco. What are you trying to tell me?"
"I can't."
"Why not?" for the first time her tone was not accusatory. Concerned, almost.
"I just- I'm not ready. I don't know how to say it."
"But… It'll drive me insane if you don't!"
He actually laughed a little, a sensation he had not experienced in a long time. But it died down, and he returned to his solemn self. She sank onto the arm of the chair, beside him.
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked in a voice quite unlike his own.
"Not to me."
"Well, I'm sorry, I just can't do it."
She sighed. "Well, I won't leave you alone until you tell me or I find out, just a word of advice."
He was thrilled to find himself laughing again, and her as well. There was something so wonderful about her that he couldn't describe.
"Stop being cute."
"Nope, sorry. I will do anything to get you to say it."
"Even if I… tickle you?" he threatened.
"Don't be ridicu-" she screamed gleefully as he pulled her into his lap and ran his fingers along her stomach, causing her to giggle uncontrollably.
Here they were, seventeen years old, finally hitting maturity, and they were engaged in a tickling war.
But he didn't care, and apparently, neither did she.
Suddenly, he stopped. He held her delicate waist in his strong arms and flipped her over, their faces mere inches apart. Their eyes connected, and the blissful range of emotions flowed back into Draco. He lost control.
Their lips met in a sweet, sultry kiss. He loved the feeling of her moist, warm mouth on his. But then he pulled away, and spoke into her parted lips.
"I love you, Hermione," it was so quiet, almost too much so, but she had heard it. It had been what she had been dying to hear. He could feel it.
A few minutes passed before she replied.
"I'm scared," she whispered, maintaining the ever-tightening distance between them.
This was not the reply he had been expecting.
She wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight embrace, still facing him.
"What will they think…?"
"Who?" he said, running his hand through her thick, chestnut hair.
Then he noticed that an icy tear was rolling down her cheeks. It fell onto his neck, and he felt his body heat burn it away into the humid air between them.
"Everyone. The world. Harry. Ron. Krum."
There she goes again.
"What about them?" he worked hard to conceal his frustration.
"I'm afraid… that I'm falling for you." It looked as though it pained her greatly to speak these words.
"What's wrong with that? Just say what's on your mind. Just say it."
It broke his heart to see her so upset.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"It's okay. I'll be alright."
"Well… I want to be with you, I do. I know you've changed. I think I'm finally getting through to the real you, but…"
"Go on."
"If I decide to be with you, then I will lose everything else in my life- My friends, all that I stand for. They… They would never forgive me. And the question is, are you worth it?"
Draco hung his head, in attempt to hide the forming tears in his eyes. But then she cupped his chin in her hand, and lifted it, revealing his watering eyes for the world to see.
"I'm sorry, Draco. I'm so sorry."
"I know you can't give everything up. I'm sorry for asking you for that. I should have realized… Thank you… for explaining it to me."
She removed herself from his embrace.
"Goodbye," she said, looking him hard in the eye for what he thought was the final time, and left.
(A/N: This is not the end at all, just a bump in the road for our two heroes. Please R & R!)