Chapter 11 - Show Me The Betta…
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Every day for three days, Sarah came to see her sister hoping she would soon find her way back to all that loved her. Yet, every day her concerns grew, knowing that if she didn't wake up soon she wasn't going to make it. Her body was in need of food and water…at the very least she needed water. With current medicine being what it was, she knew her sister was running out of time.
This was one of the few times since arriving in the past Sarah realized how frightened she was becoming. Nathan was doing all he could to take care of Rebecca, but there was only so much the man could do.
Her other big concern was Ezra.
Every day that she came to see her sister; she also came to see Ezra. Her concern for her new brother-n-law was becoming just as great. No longer was he the clean-cut, well-groomed man she was used to seeing. He was slowly falling apart.
Walking into his room, she paused at the door. She was shocked at his current appearance. He looked terrible and it only took three days for it to happen..
She stood for a moment, gathering her thoughts before saying, "You know, what you're doing to yourself isn't gonna change my sister's condition. She's still gonna be unconscious and blaming yourself is wrong. You had nothing to do with that man taking her. It could have just as easily been Mary, me or possibly even Inez. The man was looking for revenge against all seven of you. Unfortunately, he arrived in town during the wedding…so it was simple convenience that Rebecca was the one kidnapped."
Ezra stared at Sarah, his eyes tired and red-rimmed from lack of sleep, "I promised Rebecca I would never let anyone hurt her again after the incident with the cowboy. I allowed this to happen."
Exasperated, Sarah finally entered the room. "You can't possibly believe that! You had no control over Rebecca being kidnapped. You didn't even know the bastard was in town!" Walking around the bed to where Ezra sat, she sighed. "You know… maybe it's just as well she can't see you like this. I'm pretty sure she would be damned disappointed in you!"
"What? Why?" he replied.
"Because the man she loves, the man she married is a fighter. He wouldn't wallow around in a pool of self-pity. Besides, when she does wake up she's gonna be madder than a wet hen at you for letting yourself come to this sorry state."
Sarah stood at the foot of the bed looking at her sister. "Let me ask you this…do you honestly want her waking up to see a dirty, unshaved, ill-dressed man sitting next to her? If you love her, like you say you do, you will go clean yourself up. That way, she will see the loving, handsome man she married…and get yourself a meal while you're gone."
Ezra gazed at Rebecca's face, mulling over Sarah's advice. "Alright…perhaps you are correct. Getting up from his rocker, he went over to his dresser. "Will you stay with her until I return?"
Sitting down in his vacated rocker, Sarah smiled at her new brother-n-law, "It was my plan all along."
Ezra gathered the necessary bath, shaving tools, and fresh clothes. "Thank you, Sarah."
"No problem! That's what family is for. Now go and take care of yourself."
He offered a tired smile as he left the room for the bathhouse.
Sarah waited till she was sure Ezra was out of ear shot then took her sister's hand. "Rebecca...I know you can hear me. You need to wake up sister. Your husband is falling apart. I just had to kick his butt out of here to go get cleaned up." She brushed a stray lock of auburn hair out of sister's eyes, "Come on sis, I know you can hear me. He's blaming himself for your current situation. You and I both know what happened was an accident. He would never have willingly allowed anyone to hurt you. So please hear me Rebecca…come back to me, to Ezra. Please wake up!"
Squeezing her sister's hand she leaned back in the rocker waiting for the gambler to return.
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After taking a much-needed bath, the southerner sat down to have a meal, but found he had very little appetite. He pushed the food around on the plate eating very little of it. Finally giving up, he paid his bill and headed back to his room.
When he arrived back, Sarah nodded offering her approvable. "Now you look more like the man Rebecca married."
Sad green eyes focused on his new sister-n-law. "I have a question, Sarah? One that I feel only you could answer."
"Sure, what's on your mind?"
"If this had occurred in your time, would the doctors be able to bring Rebecca out of her current condition?"
Sarah sighed deeply, "It's hard to say. Medical science has made great advances over the years. Doctors can do some amazing things, but even in our time, head trauma is still somewhat of a mystery. Her problem is also loss of blood which added into everything else."
Sarah looked at her sister. "In our time…perhaps she could be helped, but the way the doctors would help is by hooking her up to all kinds of machines giving her life sustaining treatments. However I know how Rebecca feels about such things. She once told me if something like this ever happened to her, she wanted me to "pull the plug" so to speak. She couldn't live that way. It would be like a living death."
Ezra nodded trying to keep the pain from his voice, "Thanks, Sarah. I just needed to know."
Sarah rose from the rocker and put a hand on his shoulder, "There is something you can do for her that might help."
"What is that?" he asked.
"One of the things we knew in my time is that most unconscious people can hear everything that is going on around them. They have been known to respond to someone talking to them and in some cases even wake up. Talk to Rebecca….tell her how much you love her…tell her anything that's on your mind. Sing to her if you want to. Give it a try?"
Ezra was skeptical, but nodded his head. 'What could it hurt?' he wondered. He smiled at Sarah, "All right I'll talk to her."
She hugged Ezra. "Talk to her…talk to my sister with your heart Ezra. She'll hear you. I know she will."
Sarah left shutting the door quietly behind her.
Pulling the rocker right next to the bed before sitting down, gazing at Rebecca's face. Taking her hand in his, he softly traced the outline of a heart with his finger.
"Sarah said I should talk to you, darlin. Seems to think you will be able to hear me. I hope that's true cause I have an awful lot to say to you." he paused briefly before continuing, "I love you Rebecca. I can't imagine living the rest of my life without you. There are so many things we have ahead of us. We need to take our journey to New Orleans then return to begin work on 'The Standish Tavern'. We need to make it into the finest entertainment emporium in the west. You promised to help me with that remember? "
Kissing her hand, he said, "I remember the first night you and I were together darlin. You gave yourself to me with such trust. I've never known anyone like you. You love without reservation. Give of yourself without asking anything in return." He stroked her hair, "How is it that you and I found each other? In all the places in this world you could have ended up…how could you have arrived here. I have to believe there was a reason for it. So you see you can't leave me just yet."
Placing his face next to one of her still bruised cheeks, he whispered, "My darlin girl, you have to come back to me. My life without you can't go on. Please Becca, don't leave me!"
Resting his head next to hers on the bed, he put one of his arms gently across her waist. Exhausted, he finally fell into a fitful sleep.
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Ezra wasn't sure how long he had been asleep, but something made him stir from his slightly uncomfortable position. Lifting his head, he rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up. As he stared around the room he finally settled his eyes on his wife.
Staring back at him were Rebecca's light blue eyes.
"Rebecca darlin… are you truly with me? Squeeze my hand if you understand."
Feeling light pressure on his hand, a smile spread across his face, "I need to find Nathan darlin, but I don't want to leave you alone!"
A knock at the door made Ezra's head jerk in that direction. "Come in."
Josiah opened the door saying, "Just came by to see how Miss Rebecca's doing today?"
"I'm glad you're here Mr. Sanchez. Rebecca is awake! Could you please find Nathan for me?"
The big man's face exploded in a huge grin, "Glory be! My prayers have been answered. I'll find brother Nate and bring him here immediately!" He rushed from the room to find the healer.
Ezra turned his attention back to his wife. Tears of joy cascaded down his cheeks as he kissed Rebecca's forehead. "Darlin, I've been so worried about you. I was afraid I would never see those beautiful blue eyes of yours again."
It didn't take long for Nathan to arrive along with her sister and the rest of her friends. Trying to keep the room clear, only Sarah, and Ezra stay as he examined her.
Nathan sat on the edge of the bed tilting Rebecca's face toward him. Lifting her eyelids he examined her pupils then put two fingers against her neck to check her pulse. Quietly, he asked, "Can you understand me Miss Rebecca?"
A gentle smile formed on her lips blinking her eyes at Nathan. A collective sigh exploded from everyone crowded outside the small room.
Rebecca eyes settled on Ezra seemingly to bore into him. Running her tongue over her lips, she formed each word with deliberation as she mouthed …I…love…you!
Ezra closed his eyes letting a single tear run down his tired face. Stepping next to the bed, he leaned next to her, kissing her cheek.
"I love you too, Becca."
Nathan put his hand against Rebecca's forehead to check for fever. She felt cool to the touch. He started to lift her gown, but turned instead saying, "Um…everyone I need some privacy so I can examine Miss Rebecca. Would ya'll wait outside in the hall until I finish my examination…I need to check her healing wounds."
As the others waited for Nathan to finish, Ezra hugged his sister-n-law's slender shoulders, "Thank you Sarah. That was probably the best advice anyone has ever given me." He brushed his lips lightly over her cheek as Sarah beamed at him.
Hugging him back, she smiled, "I knew my sister was in there somewhere. It just took the love of her life to reach her."
Nathan finally turned to Ezra and Sarah. "Everything looks good. Don't see any sign of fever and the wound in her side is healing nicely. All in all I'd say she is gonna be fine."
Rebecca looked at Ezra mouthing the words... the man who took me…what happened to him?
"Your kidnapper is dead darlin. He will never bother you again," Ezra replied.
She gave a slight nod acknowledging his statement. She then looked at her husband, mouthing the words…thirsty.
Sarah immediately poured her sister a glass handing it to Ezra. He helped Rebecca to sit up slightly, mindful of the stitches in her side. Holding the glass for her, she began to sip it slowly. Never had anything felt so good as the cool water slid down her parched throat.
Smiling her thanks, she slid down back under the under quilt. Gazing at Ezra's handsome face she croaked out two small words…"So sleepy." She closed her eyes again.
"Nathan?" the gambler asked in a panicked voice.
Putting his fingers against her neck, he said, "She's just sleeping this time Ezra. I reckon she's just tired. Beginning unconscious is an unnatural state from everything I hear. She's resting."
Nodding his head, the southerner reclaimed his rocker.
"Just keep an eye on her and if she develops a fever let me know. I'll check back in on ya'll in a couple of hours. She's gonna be mighty hungry next time she wakes. I'll see if can get the hotel to prepare some chicken broth."
"Thank you Mr. Jackson for everything you've done."
Nathan smiled briefly before leaving the room.
Sarah gave Ezra one more hug. "I told you she would hear you, Ezra."
He offered up a soft smile. "Indeed you did. I shall not doubt your advice again."
Sarah closed the door behind her leaving Ezra along with Rebecca. Settling back into his rocker, he watched as she slept. Soon his own eyes grew heavy, but this time he didn't fight it. It wasn't long before he drifted off to sleep…the first good one he had experienced in days.
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Rebecca opened her eyes feeling a little stronger then she had before. Turning her head to one side she recognized Ezra sleeping soundly in his rocking chair. He was a welcomed sight to her.
Clutching her grumbling stomach, she realized she needed to go to the WC very badly. Trying to sit up in the bed she had to stop as the first waves of pain hit her. The stitches in her side pulled unmercifully. Taking a deep breath, she turned onto her right side trying to avoid pulling them. Her need to relieve her bladder was stronger than the need to avoid any pain.
Wiggling to the edge of the bed, she sat up slowly. "Owww!" she mumbled, "that's gonna leave a mark." Trying to get up again she finally got her legs under her, but they felt like rubber. Collapsing back onto the bed, she whispered, "Damn!"
She stayed put a bit longer trying to catch her breath. After another minute or two, Rebecca tried once more to get to her feet. Turning to see if she had disturbed her sleeping husband she realized he was still sound asleep. 'Poor dear,' she thought, 'he must be so exhausted.'
Standing once more, she fought through the pain in her side. Clutching herself, hoping the support of her hand would help, she wobbled slowly toward the door.
"If I make it to the WC without a major accident, I'll be doing good."
Cracking the door open, she peeked into the hall, feeling somewhat exposed even with the gown she wore. Staggering to keep her balance, Rebecca finally made it to the WC slipping inside.
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Ezra pushed himself upright in the rocker sighing softly. Rubbing his eyes, he stretched out his back and legs. Yawning, he gazed toward the bed when his heart stopped.
Rebecca was no longer there.
Jumping to his feet he started toward the door when it opened slowly, admitting a shaky Rebecca.
"Lord darlin…where have you been?"
"I had to go," she replied with some embarrassment.
Her pale face stared back at him from the door. Leaning on the frame, her brief excursion had left her breathing heavily.
Frowning, he said, "Why didn't you wake me, darlin? I could have at least helped you."
He immediately came around the bed taking her gently into his arms. Carrying her he put her gently down pulling the covers over her.
Rebecca gazed up her husband. "I didn't want to wake you because you were sleeping so soundly. That chair can't be too comfortable, why don't you stretch out here next to me on the bed? There's plenty of room."
"I don't wish to crowd you, Becca. You need the room right now," he said as he fussed over the quilt.
"I want you to crowd me. Take off your clothes my love and join me under the quilt. Please?"
Smiling at her, he removed everything but his undergarments. Crawling under the blanket, he took her gently in his arms.
Snuggling against Ezra's chest, she soon slipped into a deep sleep, exhausted from her little excursion. As he lay on the bed holding her in his arms, he stroked her hair. Thank God her face was starting to regain some of its beauty. The bruises were slowly fading and her head and side were slowly healing.
Hopefully she would be well enough to travel soon. He was looking forward to New Orleans and having her all to himself for three weeks. Ezra felt his eyes getting heavy as he wrapped his arms around Rebecca soon joining her in a deep sleep.
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'Rebecca ran as hard as she could. She looked over her shoulder as the sound of pounding hoof beats approached her. No…this couldn't be happening…that bastard was dead…she was told he was dead. She froze as she heard the stranger's voice again, "I'm gonna mess you up missy…that bastard gambler ain't even gonna recognize you!
Nooo! You're dead! I know you're dead!" Rebecca whimpered like a trapped animal, "It's not possible! Please God help me!
Rebecca began to wail deep in her throat, NO! NO! NO!
Where you going, Missy? You and I ain't had our fun yet!
Rebecca felt a hand grab her shoulder as she screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOO!...
"Rebecca! Rebecca! It's Ezra! Wake up, Darlin! You're having a nightmare!"
Rebecca's eyes snapped open staring wildly around her trying to see who was speaking. Sweat covered her face as she tried to focus her eyes on the voice. Finally Ezra's face came into view.
He looked at her, concern filling his green eyes. Her rigid body finally sagged and she wrapped her arms around him sobbing against his chest.
"Oh God!" she cried, "I thought he had me again! He was coming for me!"
"SShhhh darlin you're safe," Ezra replied as he rocked his wife gently in his arms, "That bastard is dead, remember. He won't ever hurt you again."
Rebecca looked up with tear filled eyes, "He tried to rape me…he put his hands on me, but I fought him. I couldn't let him touch me."
"I know you did darlin." Ezra whispered. He pushed sweat soaked bangs off her face. "You're safe now…he's gone."
Pulling from his embrace she moved away from him slightly. "I…I really need to take a bath. Could you ask the hotel to bring a tub to the room?"
"Of course darlin. I'll arrange to have one delivered." Ezra glanced at Rebecca as he stood up getting dressed. She had closed her eyes and slumped back onto the bed.
"Will you be alright until I return?"
She gave the slightest nod of her head before clutching one of the bed pillows to her.
Ezra watched her for a minute knowing something was troubling her. At a loss as to what he could do, he went downstairs to request a tub be sent to his room. After that he purchased dinner for the two of them. Perhaps after a nice hot bath and a good meal Rebecca might feel better.
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After taking care of securing a bath and purchasing dinner, Ezra stopped outside their room softly knocking on the door, just in case she was preparing for her bath.
"Darlin, its Ezra, is it alright if I enter?"
"Yes, come on in."
Entering the room, he noticed Rebecca leaning over the tub, adding bath salts to the water. The wonderful smell of lavender filled the room.
Smiling, he placed their food on the dresser. "I took the opportunity while I was down stairs to purchase some dinner for us. You still haven't taken in any nourishment. So after a nice relaxing soak, I think it will be time for something to eat."
Rebecca nodded. She undid the front of her gown, but had trouble lifting her left arm. The stitches pulled whenever she raised it.
Grimacing at the pain she said, "Ezra could you help me with this. I can't pull it off by myself."
"Certainly, darlin."
Pulling the gown over her head, he tossed it on the bed. His eyes traveled over his wife's exposed body. The bruises were starting to fade, but the large covering on her side hurt him to see.
"Let me help you remove those bandages darlin. Once your bath is done, I'll help you wrap it back up."
"Thank you."
Carefully, trying not to pull anything, Ezra removed the old bandages from her side and the one from her head. It hurt him seeing everything that had been done to her. Taking her into his arms, he held her for moment kissing her lips softly.
Looking into his eyes, she at first responded to his gently touches, against her breasts, the soft skin of her back. Running one hand down her right side, he brushed against her right thigh, eliciting a soft sigh from her. He felt a fire beginning to burn inside him as he deepened the kiss.
Without warning, Rebecca pulled away mumbling, "I need to get in the water before it gets cold."
Ezra knew he probably had a hurt look on his face, but he brushed it aside quickly helping her into the tub. She sank slowly into its inviting warmth. Sighing quietly she let her injured body savor the feeling.
Returning to his rocker, he picked up the book he had been reading. "How would you feel about a selected passage from Shakespeare, darlin? I could read one of the Bard's poems?"
"That would be nice, Ezra."
"All right. I'll read from "The Passionate Pilgrim." Clearing his throat he began…
Live with me, and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove,
That hills and valleys, dales and fields,
And all the craggy mountains yields.
There we will sit upon the rocks,
And see the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers, to whose falls,
Melodious birds sing madrigals.
There I will make thee a bed of roses,
With a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle,
Embroider'd all with leaves of myrtle.
A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs,
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Then live with me and be my love.
Rebecca suddenly spoke up as he was reading and said in a quiet voice,
Love's Answer
If that the world and love were young
And truth in every shepherd's tongue,
These pretty pleasures might me move,
To live with thee and be thy love.
Looking up from the passage, Rebecca's eyes had closed; a small smile covered her lips.
"I've always liked that particular poem," she whispered.
Smiling, he said, "I too have always had an affinity for that work. Shall I continue or would you prefer something else?"
"How about some Poe? Perhaps one of his poems or one of his stories."
"Do you have a favorite that you wish read?" Ezra asked paging through the book.
"How about Eldorado?"
"That is one I can get behind.
Soaping her hair, she rinsed it, glad it was finally feeling clean. As she began to wash the rest of her body, she noticed a large bruise from her kidnapper's hand visible on one of her arms. Rubbing at the spot she tried to rinse it away. When is continued to show, she doubled her efforts scrubbing it harder.
Ezra looked up from his reading because Rebecca had begun to mumble under her breath. He saw she was rubbing a place on her arm that was turning a bright red.
To his horror, he realized Rebecca's arm was bleeding. Jumping from the rocker Ezra grabbed her arm, "Rebecca! What are you doing!? Good God!? You're bleeding!"
"I have to clean my arm. Can't you see the dirt on it?" She jerked her arm from his grasp rubbing even harder. The water in the tub began to turn a bright red.
Horrified, Ezra grabbed his wife by the shoulders, "REBECCA! STOP! You are hurting yourself!"
Unfazed by his shout, Rebecca stared into his terrified face, her light blue eyes looking right through him. "I have to make myself clean. I can't let you see me dirty. That man put his hands on me…can't let you see me until I'm clean again." Her face took on a wild pleading expression as her voice began to rise. "Don't you understand Ezra? HE TOUCHED ME!"
Struggling to free herself from her husband's grasp, Rebecca screamed, "I'M DIRTY! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!" She bucked and thrashed, trying desperately to break his hold. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!"
"REBECCA!" Ezra shouted forcefully shaking her. "STOP IT!" Suddenly her eyes focused on his face, stopping her struggle. Taking a deep breath, she collapsed against him, weeping quietly.
Ezra lifted her from the cooling bath water feeling her body shake and shiver with the force of her emotions. Mindful of her injured arm, he carried her to the bed and wrapped her in the quilt. He then ripped apart one of the pillowcases and tied it around her bleeding arm. He knew he needed Nathan's help to repair whatever damage she had done, but she was frightening him and unsure if he should leave her.
Rebecca had closed her eyes seeming to be sleeping. Deciding to take a chance on leaving her briefly, Ezra went to find Nathan. He rose from the bed slipping out of the room as quietly as possible. Once out in the hall, he ran as fast as possible for the clinic.
Finding the healer sitting on the landing, he said, "Nathan, please I need your help with Rebecca. She has injured herself."
Nathan stood immediately, "What's wrong Ezra? What has she done?"
Following Nathan into the clinic as he retrieved his medical bag, Ezra said, "She was taking a bath, started screaming about being dirty. She was scrubbing this one spot so hard she made it raw and bleeding. I couldn't get her to stop and…" Ezra gave him a lost look as his words trailed off.
"Let's get over there." Nathan responded. He gave Ezra a comforting smile, trying to alleviate some of his pain.
As the two men made their way down the hall toward Ezra's room a scream split the air.
"GET OFF ME! DON'T TOUCH ME! YOU'RE DEAD!"
Bursting into their room, Rebecca was struggling to get out of the quilt in which he had wrapped her. Her eyes had that same wild, panicked look. Ezra grabbed her into his arms holding her to his chest.
"Darlin, it's alright. I'm here. I'm not going to allow him to hurt you!"
Awake and realizing she had been screaming again, her eyes met Ezra's finally stopping her struggle. "Oh God, I'm so sorry! I don't know what's wrong with me."
Sitting down on the other side of Rebecca, Nathan opened his bag. He gently held her injured arm removing the temporary dressing Ezra had applied. Her arm was indeed raw. It looked as if she had tried to scrub off the skin.
Pouring some water into the wash basin, he brought it back over sitting it next to the bed. "This might sting a bit Miss Rebecca, but I gotta clean your arm alright?"
Rebecca buried her face against Ezra's chest. Nodding that she understood, he began to clean her wound. Her body went rigid as the first wave of pain hit her. Biting her lip determined not to say anything; Nathan was quick and efficient as he cleaned her up.
"I know it looks bad, but your arm should heal fairly quickly." Nathan said as he stood.
Rebecca kept her head against Ezra, but nodded. Then in a small voice said, "Thank you Nathan."
I'm gonna go brew you up a special tea that'll help ya with the pain and should help you sleep. I'll be right back." Nathan motioned for Ezra to come outside the door.
Ezra lay Rebecca down on the bed. "I'll be right back darlin." He kissed her forehead before following Nathan into the hallway. Closing the door, he stepped away from it.
"What is happened with Rebecca, Nathan?"
"Well I didn't wanna say anything in front of her, but I think I might know whats causin her problem. I've seen this kind of behavior before."
Leaning against the wall, he got a far off look in his eyes. "During the war I saw men, strong men, break down like little babies over things they saw, or had been done to them. It showed itself in all kinds of odd ways. Some had terrible dreams, or hear 'em yelling in the middle of the night. Others developed odd ticks or did strange things."
Ezra ran a hand through his chestnut hair sighing. "Rebecca had a bad dream. She thinks the kidnapper is still alive and comin after her. When she was taking her bath, she thought he had left his mark on her…that it made her dirty. I couldn't convince her that mark was just a bruise. When she falls asleep then wakes up screaming, he's coming. It had taken me a minute or two to convince her she's safe…that she isn't dirty. That's how she injured her arm. What can be done to help her?"
Nathan shook his head, "I don't rightly know if there is anything that can be done. It may be as simple as time or maybe get her to talk about what happened."
Ezra frowned looking over his shoulder at the closed door. "I'll do whatever I need to do. I want my Rebecca back."
Nathan placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "You know I haven't said anything up till now, but I just wanted you to know somethin."
"And what is that Mr. Jackson?"
"You've grown a lot over the time we've known each other especially when Rebecca came into your life. I reckon she is the best thing every happened to you. You've changed in ways I wasn't sure was possible. I just wanted you to know that I'll do whatever I can for you and Rebecca." he paused a moment then said, "I also want you to know that I'm proud to call you my friend."
Ezra gave the tall Healer a smile extending his hand to him, "Thank you, Nathan. That means a lot to me. May I say that I also am proud to call you friend."
Nathan took Ezra's hand and they shook vigorously. Nathan smiled. I'm gonna go make that tea for Rebecca and I'll put somethin in it that will make her sleep deeply. Maybe that will help with the dreams."
"Thanks, Nathan."
He went off down the hall and Ezra slipped back inside the room. Rebecca had risen while he was outside with Nathan, drying herself and putting on a clean gown. She stood looking out the window, a forlorn look on her face.
Ezra approached her at the window, wrapping his arms gently around her. "What's wrong darlin? Is your arm hurting? Nathan will be back in a moment with your tea."
"No it's not that. My arm is okay at the moment." she sighed softly, her eyes staring out the window. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I'm causing you. Your life was probably a lot less complicated before I arrived."
Ezra turned her around, lifting her chin. He could see tears beginning to form in their light blue depths. "Darlin before you entered my life, I was a lonely man. Oh I put on the front of happiness and pretended that all I needed to get me through was a stiff drink of whiskey and a good card game with an unsuspecting rich opponent."
Ezra took her hands in his, "Then you blew into my life. That first day when you and I met is one I will never forget. You took my breath away from almost the first moment you spoke to me. Your gentle spirit is unlike anyone I've ever known and I thank God every day that we found each other. So don't say my life was better before I met you because darlin, it wasn't."
Rebecca let the tears she had been holding back fall in a steady stream down her face. She stood suddenly and threw herself onto Ezra, covering his mouth with hers as she kissed him. They collapsed back onto the bed.
His mouth opened and took her tongue inside. He savored the sweetness of her body against his and the feel of her mouth as she kissed him. Ezra ran his hand down her side and lifted her gown. He slipped his hand under it caressing her body making Rebecca moan with desire. Ezra felt his own desire building. He wanted to make love to Rebecca, let her know how much he loved her. He started to draw her gown off when a knock at the door startled both of them.
"Must be Nathan with your tea." Ezra whispered. Smiling at Rebecca he pulled her gown back into place as she sat up on the bed.
Ezra opened the door and Nathan entered with the herbal tea he had promised, "Here Miss Rebecca, I want you to drink all of this. It will help you, I promise."
Rebecca took a sip and grimaced, "Ugghh Nathan, this is awful!" she glanced at the dark healer, "You know sometimes I think the cure is worse than the ailment."
Nathan chuckled, "That could be, but I want you to drink all of that. Trust me it will help."
Rebecca gave Nathan a skeptical stare as she finished the tea. She handed the cup back to him before saying, "Thanks again Nathan. I'm sorry to be such a bother."
"You're no bother Miss Rebecca. I'm just glad I can help."
Ezra smiled as she watched the interplay between Nathan and his wife. He closed his eyes briefly then sighed hoping that whatever demons are plaguing her would soon be gone. The next few days would be long ones if her problems continued.
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Ezra sat at one of the gaming tables shuffling and reshuffling the cards. He dealt cards to Buck, Vin and JD, but frowned slightly as he did so. It had been two weeks since he and Rebecca had moved their residence into the saloon. As the new owners he felt they should be closer to the business. Rebecca didn't seem to be any better and his concern for her continued to grow. The nightmares continued to plague his dear wife.
Buck gave Ezra a once over before saying, "Is Rebecca still having bad dreams, Ezra?"
"Unfortunately Mr. Wilmington, she is. She doesn't appear to be improving. Every day it seems we have to go through the same experience. She's totally convinced that bastard is still alive and he intends to hurt her all over again. I'm at a loss as to what I can do to help her."
Suddenly a terrified scream filled the air causing Ezra to bolt toward the stairs, taking them two at a time.
He threw open the door to their room seeing Rebecca sitting upright in the bed. He took her into his arms trying to calm her. Sobbing into his chest, Ezra rocked her feeling tears come to his own eyes. There had to be something he could do to help her get over this.
Buck looked toward the stairs and shook his head, "You know this has got to be murder on poor Ezra. I bet he hasn't slept good in over two weeks."
Vin took over dealing the cards around the table, "He hasn't. He told me yesterday that every time Rebecca falls asleep she has these nightmares."
The men looked up from their game as Ezra came back down the stairs. Massaging his temples his face looked incredible tired. It was drawn and pinched. The stress of the situation was obviously taking its toll on him.
Dropping heavily into his chair, he looked at his three friends, "She had another nightmare."
He ran his hands through his hair and sighed, "Gentlemen, I'm at an obvious loss as to what I should do. I'm willing to entertain any suggestions you might have."
"I'm not sure we can be of much help Ezra" Vin replied, "I'm like you Pard. This has me stumped."
Buck put a hand on Ezra's right shoulder, 'You know we'll do anything we can to help you. You look like you could use some sleep. Why don't you go grab some? I'll listen out for Rebecca."
Ezra gave Buck a grateful smile, "Thank you, Mr. Wilmington. I believe I will take you up on that particular offer." Ezra stood and started to go upstairs when Sarah entered the saloon.
She came over to Ezra and said, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course, Sarah."
"Let's step outside." Sarah pointed to the door.
The two walked out onto the plank sidewalk sitting down in the chairs in front of the saloon.
Sarah looked at Ezra's tired face. "Rebecca's not any better today is she?"
He shook his head. "The nightmares are driving both of us to distraction. She's not sleeping and neither am I. Every time she falls asleep she eventually has one. God Sarah…I just don't know what I can do to help her. It feels as if she's slipping away from me."
Sarah leaned toward her brother-n-law trying to comfort him. Sighing she said, "What Rebecca is experiencing is called PTSD…Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. That's the name the doctors in our time called it. People who are traumatized in some way go through this."
Ezra looked at Sarah, "So what can I do to help her?"
"For some, time is the only cure. Unfortunately some people never get over the trauma."
"Are you telling me she might never recover?" Ezra said, a shocked look on his face.
Sarah shook her head before saying; "No I'm not saying that. My sister is strong, but she just needs time to deal with what happened."
Sarah looked down at the porch for a moment before asking, "Can I ask you something personal?"
Ezra nodded.
Have you and my sister been intimate since her return?"
"What?" Ezra was taken aback by her question. "What does that have to do with her current situation?"
"Think about it, Ezra…my sister was kidnapped, threatened with rape, threatened with death then ended up killing the man responsible. Granted, he was deserving of what happened to him, but since being rescued the only memories she has to draw on currently is what that bastard did to her. Since she returned the man she loves, the man she married hasn't tried to touch her."
"That's not true…we came close after she woke up. It was about the time the nightmares started." Ezra interjected.
"But have you tried since then?" Sarah asked.
Ezra shook his head, "Not since that day. I've been concerned with her health."
"Well Rebecca is probably feeling a sense of rejection…that perhaps you don't love her anymore because of what happened."
Ezra started to protest, but Sarah held up her hand, "I know that's not true, but think about it from her perspective. She's hurting, confused and the only reality is what she remembers."
Sarah paused then continued, "Now, I'm not saying that this will help or even cure her, but Ezra, give her something different to think and dream about. Give her what she needs right now, your love."
Ezra's face became thoughtful for a moment. "How did you become so wise at such a young age?"
Sarah gave Ezra a shy smile, "It's not wisdom really, it's just common sense…knowing how most women think."
Ezra hugged Sarah. "Thank you, Sarah. Vin is an absolutely luck man to have you. You have been the most incredible sister-n-law."
"That's what a good sister-n-law is for. Besides you are the best thing that has ever happened to my sister and I don't want her to lose you."
Giving her a big smile, he hurried through the saloon and up the stairs.
Entering their room, he noticed Rebecca was sitting in the rocker staring out the window. Coming over to her, he placed a hand gently on her shoulder, "How are you feeling darlin?"
Rebecca looked up at him. Her eyes were haunted and red rimmed. She had obviously been crying, "I'm so tired, but I'm frightened about falling asleep. I don't want to dream anymore."
Kneeling down beside the rocker, he took her hands into his. "I know you don't darlin."
Standing up, he pulled her into his arms. Caressing her cheek, he said, "I love you Becca and I want you."
Rebecca looked in his eyes. "You want me?"
Kissing her, he said, "Yes, I want you darlin. Remember I said the night of our wedding I wanted to make love to you over and over until we fell asleep in each other's arms? I want that still."
Capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss, he ran his hands down her back squeezing her rear, pushing his manhood into her.
Rebecca moaned feeling how hard he was becoming. "I want that too Ezra." Her blue eyes looking huge on her face.
Removing her gown in one swift motion, he moved his hands down her thighs. Picking her up, he carried her to the bed placing her down upon it.
Kneeling partially on the bed Ezra began to remove his gun belt, jacket, vest, and shirt as Rebecca worked on undoing his trousers. She quickly pushed them down as he shoved them the rest of the way off along his boots.
Rebecca pulled his body onto hers as Ezra let out a low satisfying moan. She grabbed his length stroking him up and down.
"Oh darlin…" he whispered. "You are incredible!"
Caressing her thighs, he slid between her legs and into her inviting warmth making her moan as loudly as Ezra did. He paused, not moving for a moment after entering her…just feeling the connection between their two bodies. Finally as he began to slowly thrust into her, they both gasped.
"Love me Ezra…fill me up with all you have." She whispered huskily.
Ezra's breathing became ragged with each push into her. Watching her face as they made love, Rebecca had closed her eyes, her body rising up to meet his. He captured her mouth, drinking in her sweetness. Tangling his hands in her hair she wrapped herself around his body, raining kisses on him making him moan with the ecstasy of it all.
Trailing a hand down Rebecca's left side, he touched the wound left by the kidnapper's knife. He ran his fingers lightly over the raised scar. "This no longer holds any power over you. It's simply a wound." He kissed it and then kissed her mouth again.
Their lovemaking intensified as Rebecca gave herself totally to Ezra as she never had before. When they at last lay exhausted in each other's embrace Rebecca smiled against his chest, "I never want to leave your arms. I want to remain like this forever."
"If we could stay this way, I would want it too darlin," Ezra replied softly, "This would indeed be heaven on earth."
"I've missed being with you."
"I'm sorry I've been so ignorant of your needs, darlin."
Rebecca sat up looking at her husband, "I'm not trying to get you to apologize for anything. I've put you through hell the last two weeks and you've been a saint."
Ezra sat up next to her. "I'm hardly a saint darlin and you haven't put me through anything." Reaching out, he caressed her face. "You are my love and as our marriage vows stated - 'for better or for worse ' - I would assume that this qualifies."
Rebecca leaned over kissing her husband. "Well I suppose we've had the worse to start our marriage, now let me show you the better." She smiled pushing Ezra back down onto the bed.
As Ezra began to caress her, he murmured, "Show me the betta, darlin."