A/N: Welcome to the biggest crossover thingy of the century! Warning you now, it's complete crack.
You don't have to know the other animes or cartoons in order to follow, but it helps. In order, they are Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, Teen Titans, Naruto, Ouran Host Club, and Power Puff Girls. Have fun!
Oh, and look for Neko 4 to be up some time late this week or early next.
Raito's Annihilation of Animation Adversaries
BAM!
Ryuuk leapt up from his seat, startled, as Yagami Raito slammed his fists onto the desk with frustration.
WHACK!
The shinigami watched in astonishment as Raito began hurling heavy text books around the room, grunting with the effort it took to throw them.
CRASH!
Raito hurled a lamp at the wall, grinning maniacally with satisfaction as it shattered into millions of tiny pieces.
BANG!
A metal lamp followed the path of the ceramic one, clanging loudly before dropping to the floor as Raito stormed around.
Ryuuk looked back at his half-eaten apple, before turning back to Raito.
"Something wrong?" the shinigami asked, hesitant.
"OBVIOUSLY!" Raito snapped, blatantly irate. He chucked a calculus book at the death god, only to have it sail through him and right through a window with a loud crash.
Ryuuk sweatdropped. It was unlike Raito to be so irrational.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Ryuuk ventured timidly.
Raito paused to shoot him a venomous glare, before hurling his computer monitor to the ground with an inhuman yell, beating it with his fists as he screamed.
Ryuuk backed away from the human slowly. Being Kira had always made Raito's sanity somewhat doubtful, but now...
Raito seemed to have completely cracked.
Apparently through with his brief fit of insanity, Raito threw himself onto his bed, yelling and beating it with his fists.
"RYUUK!" Raito yelled. The shinigami warily moved closer to the unstable boy, cautious.
"What is it, Raito?" Ryuuk asked, curious.
"Nobody knows about Kira!" Raito yelled angrily. "How am I supposed to create a superior world if no one knows about Kira!"
"But Raito, everyone knows about Kira," Ryuuk said, confused. "All of Japan is terrified of being struck down by your wrath, and most of the world-"
"To HELL with the world!" Raito yelled, throwing his alarm clock at his closet, where it promptly crashed. "I want to be known everywhere! By everyone!"
"But how can you?" Ryuuk asked. "You can't really do much more. You've already killed criminals on live TV."
"Yeah, but only nerds and losers watch the news," Raito grumbled. "I want everyone to fear Kira so bad that the mere thought of Kira makes them shit their pants! That way, I will rule over the entire world, not just nerds and losers!"
"How do you plan on doing that?" Ryuuk asked, sinking back down onto his chair. Raito groaned.
"That's the problem," he grumbled. "I can't think of anything! What's something I could use to cause fear in millions of people world wide?"
"Well," Ryuuk ventured, biting into his apple, "is there anything else on that box besides the news that you could use?"
"Dunno," Raito muttered, rolling over.
"Many people watch that box," Ryuuk said, chewing. "You could at least look to see if something could be of any use."
"You're a pain when you're trying to be helpful, you know," Raito snapped, scowling at the shinigami, but snatching up the remote from his nightstand regardless. "I'll do whatever if it will shut you up."
Clicking the TV on, Raito idly flipped through the channels, ignoring Ryuuk's noisy munching on his apple, pausing on his favorite network.
InuYasha?
Nani? Ahhh, iya, baka-
Osuwari!
THUMP!
A wicked gleam flickered in Raito's eyes, and a familiar cold, calculating expression spread across his face, sending a shiver up Ryuuk's spine.
"Ryuuk," Raito said, his tone dark as he sneered at the mirror, his reflection smirking evilly back at him. "Go get Misa. We're going to have some fun."
"Uh, Raito? Ar you sure-"
"Go!"
Not needing to be told again, the shinigami flew off to fetch the second Kira. After all, Raito had said they were going to have fun, and Ryuuk knew from experience that when Raito said such things, he was usually right.
"Raito! Where are we going?"
Ryuuk cringed at the young model's high-pitched whine. He didn't know how people could stand her, though Raito seemed to be immune to it, or very good at not strangling people.
"We're going to make sure that everyone knows who Kira is," Raito announced, grabbing Misa's hand and trucking them through the mud.
"Are we going to kill people?" Misa asked excitedly.
Raito shot her a scathing look, his lip curling.
"Obviously."
"Yay!" Misa said, clapping her hands. "Misa likes killing people for Raito!" She smiled. "So, who are we going to kill?"
"We are going to personally kill evil-doers and criminals on TV," Raito said, dragged her through tall grass. "This way, people will see Kira and know that he is not just a legend, making him all the more frightening."
Ryuuk blinked.
"Raito," he said cautiously, "haven't you already killed people on TV?"
Raito whirled around.
"So?" Raito snapped. "What's your point?"
"Then why are you doing this again if it's the exact same thing that you've already done?"
Raito smiled a thin, cold, cruel smile.
"Ah," he said. "But you see, it's not the same thing that we've already done. For this time, instead of killing normal, everyday murderers and rapists from the comfort of our homes, we will be killing-"
Misa and Ryuuk waited as Raito took a dramatic breath.
"Anime characters."
Misa gasped dramatically. Ryuuk stared.
"Anime characters?" he repeated incredulously. "You're going to frighten the world by killing off bad guys in anime?"
"Yes. Now hush. Our first victim is approaching," Raito commanded, tugging Misa behind a tree as a group of odd-looking people came into view.
Ryuuk stared. In the clearing in front of them, eight people seemed to be having some sort of showdown. There was a silver-haired guy dressed in red, a girl in a school uniform, a guy in purple, a girl in black, and a little kid in green. Across from them, there was a chick with a fan, a little girl dressed in white, and a really really big blue guy with big brown things coming out of him.
"Guess who the bad guy is?" Raito whispered to him.
"OMG!" Misa squealed excitedly. "This is Inuyasha! I so like totally love this anime! In fanfiction, I completely ship Sess/Kag and Kag/Kog! I hope Fluffy shows up! He is so like totally hott! But not Kikyo! She is SUCH a bitch!"
Ryuuk sweatdropped.
"What's she talking about?" he asked Raito.
"She's speaking fangirl," Raito shrugged. "It can't be anything important."
Ryuuk glanced back at Misa, who was now elaborating about the bitchiness of Kikyo. He shuddered. Fangirls were weird.
"Here's the plan," Raito said, his voice hushed. "When InuYasha (that's the guy in red, Ryuuk) takes out his sword, we charge in there, make some bold statements about standing for justice, kill Naraku (that's the bad guy, Ryuuk), and leave. Everyone watching this episode will see it and fear Kira, because everyone knows that Naraku's like the biggest, baddest guy ever."
"OMG we're going to kill Naraku EEEEE!" Misa squealed.
"Wait," Ryuuk said, confused. "If we go out there, everyone watching this will see that you're Kira."
"So?" Raito said, annoyed.
"So, if you go out there, won't L see you and know you're Kira?"
"Yeah right," Raito laughed, smirking. "L's the very definition of 'loser'. He'll be watching the news for news of Kira, not anime or cartoons. He'll never see me here."
Ryuuk raised an eyebrow.
"If you're sure."
"OMG Inu-chan has Tessaiga out Inu-tachi is taking on Naraku OMGWTF!" Misa exclaimed, watching the scene unfolding in the clearing with rapt attention.
"And that's my cue," Raito said, standing up, brushing himself off and striding into the clearing powerfully, Misa trotting behind him.
"Greetings, cast of InuYasha," Raito called out. "I, Kira, god of the new world, have come to speak to you."
Hearing a voice, the fighters turned to see a teenage kid striding into the obvious place a battle arrogantly, glanced at each other, before looking at him incredulously.
"Who the hell are you?" InuYasha demanded.
"OMG IT'S INU-CHAN!" Misa said happily.
"I am Kira, god of the new world," Raito announced. "I have come to kill Naraku."
The Inu-tachi glanced at each other.
"Do you think he's serious?" Kagome asked.
"I vote we kill him," InuYasha said, scowling.
"Killing him may be unnecessarily messy," Miroku commented. "An if he is a god, he might get angry."
"True," Sango remarked.
They turned back to face Raito.
"Kami, while it may very well be true that you are a god, we have never heard of the god 'Kira' before," Miroku said, bowing low. "If we might have a demonstration of your powers?"
Raito nodded. "Misa?"
Misa stepped forward and wrote something a black notebook. Miroku raised an eyebrow.
"I thought we were to see a demonstration of your power," he said, confused.
"Oh, you will," Raito said, glancing at his watch. "Right about – now."
Miroku suddenly fell over, dead.
"Ahhhh Miroku!" Sango rushed over to his prostrate body, crying hysterically.
Raito laughed.
"Enough of this nonsense!" Naraku announced, fed up with being ignored for so long. "Prepare to die!"
"Misa, if you please?" Raito motioned for Misa to step forward, who obediently began writing in her notebook.
"Kukukukuku, a mere notebook cannot kill me!" Naraku laughed. "I, Naraku, born of Onigumo, have become the greatest demon throughout the land, and I will become a full-demon with the shards of the Shikon Jewel! You cannot stop me! You will-"
Naraku fell suddenly fell over, dead.
"That's awfully anticlimactic," Raito commented, taking the pen from Misa and capping it. "You fought him for so long and could never beat him, and now he's dead. And you didn't have a thing to do with it."
InuYasha snarled and raised a clawed hand, but Kagome held him back.
"Don't," she said quietly. "They have that notebook thing, remember? They can kill us too."
"A wise observation, miko," Raito said. "Remember, the power of Kira is absolute. Come, Misa. We have other criminals to kill."
The two strode off from the clearing into the forest toward another network, Ryuuk following, shaking his head behind them.
"You're going down, Sensui!"
Yusuke Urameshi and his friends stood in the middle of the street, facing down the rogue spirit detective, Shinobu Sensui, who was trying to open a portal to the demon world.
"Au contraire, Urameshi, do you really think you can stop me?"
Yusuke opened his mouth to retort, when a voice from a side street answered for him.
"He probably can't, but I can."
Yusuke gaped as a teenager a few years older than him strode out of the alleyway, his hands in his pockets, followed by a blonde girl holding a notebook and pen and a freaky-deaky looking apparition. He glanced around, taking in the scene, before smirking.
"So this is the set of Yu Yu Hakusho," he commented. "Nice. Though I expected a bit more color."
"OMG it's Kurama!" the girl squealed excitedly. "And Hiei! OMGOMGOMG!"
The apparition rolled its eyes.
Yusuke's eye's narrowed. "Who are you? And how exactly do you know our names?" he demanded. "And what are you doing here?"
"Yes, do tell," Sensui drawled. "I would hate to have to blast you into oblivion along with Urameshi simply because you showed up at the wrong time."
"I am Raito Yagami, also known as Kira, god of the new world," the boy announced. "And this is Misa, my assistant, and Ryuuk, a shinigami," he said, gesturing to the girl and apparition beside him in turn. "And we have come to kill Shinobu Sensui for committing crimes against the new world of Kira." The boy looked at them expectantly, as if waiting for them all to fall down and worship him with thanks.
Yusuke raised an eyebrow ironically.
"What the fuck?" Kuwabara asked stupidly.
The boy called Raito sighed.
"Apparently, these oafs are as idiotic as the show makes them out to be," he said. "Misa, a demonstration, if you will."
The girl stepped forward, opening the notebook. Raito handed her a pen.
"Start with Sensui," he commanded her. "We have no time to waste. And then Koenma. I never really liked him."
"Hey!" Koenma objected.
The girl began to write in her notebook.
"Have no fear, Koenma," Sensui said idly. "It's just the delusions of a terribly psychologically damaged couple from seeing such a terrifying apparition. After all, what could writing in a notebook possibly do to you-"
He stopped, choked, and fell over, dead.
"Oh, I don't know," Raito said, musing. "That, perhaps?"
Koenma's eyes widened, and he pointed a finger accusingly, opening his mouth to speak, before falling over, dead.
Yusuke gaped at them.
"You just killed Sensui and Koenma in less than a minute!" he exclaimed.
"Forty-two seconds, to be precise," Raito said, straightening his shirt and taking the pen from Misa.
"That's incredible!" Yusuke said, awed. "Do you think I'll ever be able to develop powers like that?"
"No," Raito said. "Now go away. Misa and I have other lives to claim."
"Raito?"
"What now, Ryuuk?" Raito said, annoyed, as Misa glomped onto his arm adoringly.
"I think I've managed to accept the fact that you're completely breaking all laws of constancy and science by traveling through television networks," Ryuuk said, looking around cautiously as they entered an old warehouse, "and I've managed to gather that you don't care about revealing your identity to people on TV-" he paused to shoot a dubious look at a rat scampering by "but Raito, please tell me, why are we now on the set of an American cartoon?"
"I want the world to fear Kira, Ryuuk, not just the Japanese," Raito said, still walking, not pausing to look back. "I thought I explained that. Why's it bother you so much, anyway?"
Ryuuk shuddered. "Americans are weird."
Raito shrugged. "Whatever. Anyway, Misa said she's seen some of this show before for a school project, so hopefully we'll be able to identify the bad guy and kill him even if we can't understand what they're saying."
"Misa likes this show!" Misa exclaimed happily. "There's one girl on here who dressed kind of like Misa, though the other one acts more like Misa does!"
"What's this show called, anyway?" Ryuuk asked.
"Teen Titans," Raito answered.
Pulling open a set of doors, loud bangs and clangs reached the ears of Raito and company, and Raito scowled.
"The fight must have already started," he said, frowning. "Come on. We haven't much time."
The three hurried down the hall and burst into the room at the end, where three teens were fighting a man dressed in silver and black with a half-brown mask in his face.
"Greetings!" Raito announced. "I am Kira, god of the new world, and I have come to save you all from this criminal by killing him!"
The teens paused in their onslaught to stare at the newcomers, before glancing at each other.
(This man is foreign, yes?) Starfire asked Robin, confused. (I think he's Japanese,) Robin said, puzzled. (But what'd he say? What's he doing here?)
"OMG BEAST BOY KAWAII!" Misa exclaimed, launching herself at the green changeling and promptly glomping onto his leg
(Ha ha, she likes me!) Beast bot exclaimed, grinning. (They can't be too bad!)
Raven frowned. (I think I recognize her from somewhere...) she remarked. (If only I could remember where...)
Raito scowled, upset at being ignored for so long.
"I am Kira!" he yelled. "God of the new world! Fear me!"
(What's he saying?) Cyborg asked.
(No idea,) Robin said. (Raven, you know a little Japanese, right?)
(Kira desu is 'I am Kira',) Raven said, thinking, (but 'Kami' is 'god', and that's definitely just a kid. I think he's on crack.)
(What is this 'crack' of which you speak?" Starfire asked, confused.
Ryuuk floated over to Raito, who was getting mad.
"You know, Raito," he said. "I don't think Americans generally speak Japanese."
Raven gasped.
(Ryuuk!) she yelled.
Ryuuk turned to see an odd girl dressed in blue and black floating towards him and grinned.
(Raven!) he said, in perfect English. (What are you doing here?)
(Fighting evil,) she said. (What about you? I thought you had a new gig with Ohba and Obata in Japan.)
(Raven, do you know this- thing?) Robin asked, astonished.
(Yeah,) Raven responded, smiling thinly. (He and my dad go way back.)
(I do,) Ryuuk said, sighing. (That's why I'm here. Raito decided the best way to make the world fear Kira was to kill bad guys in anime and cartoons, and he came to kill the bad guy in yours.)
(That's right,) Raven said, musing. (That guy must be Kira, then. What a riot. Okay, then.) She broke off and floated to the ceiling.
Raito looked at the strange girl Ryuuk had been talking to. Was she the bad guy? She must be, if she knew a death god.
"Misa," he said. "Prepare the death note."
"Chotto," the girl yelled to him. She pointed at the guy in black and silver. "Sore wa bad guy desu."
Raito blinked.
"Misa," he asked. "Is the guy with the mask the bad guy?"
"Mmhmm," she said, still hugging Beast Boy.
"Then kill him already!" he yelled.
"Okay okay!" Misa said, reluctantly letting the changeling go and taking out the notebook.
Raito turned to the bad guy and laughed an evil maniacal laugh.
"Prepare to die, uh, American-type bad-guy! Kira stands for no evil in his world!" he announced, laughing dramatically.
Slade raised an eyebrow. He had been patient enough when the two foreign kids had barged in with their demon-dog thing and started babbling, when he really should have been destroying the Teen Titans so he could get back to his secret lair in time for reruns of Ally McBeal, but no, he had decided to be nice, but then Raven had started talking to the demon-thing, and now the kid was laughing and pointing at him?
To hell with this. Raising his hands, Slade charged up a fireball.
Suddenly, his chest seizing up, Slade dropped to his knees, gasping, the fireball vanishing as he gasped for air.
A heart attack. How ironic, that the Jump City's worst villain would die in such a way, he mused. He supposed he should have listened to his doctor when he warned him about his cholesterol, as the world went black.
"I have here," Kakashi said, "two bells." He held them up. "The point of this exercise is to obtain the bells. If you do not, you do not get to eat."
"WHAT!"
"If you do not, I will tie you up over there," he gestured to the stumps, "and eat lunch in front of you."
"So that's why he didn't have us eat breakfast," Sakura said tiredly.
"This is such shit," Naruto moaned.
Sasuke scoffed at them both.
There was a loud bang from the side, and they all turned to look.
A dusty-haired teenager had appeared, with a clingy blonde at his side. Behind them was a demon. The three seemed to be perfectly calm, despite the fact they had magically appeared from seemingly nowhere.
"Where are we now?" Raito asked, looking around. "It looks like InuYasha again, but I've never seen this anime before."
"Naruto: In another world, ninja are the ultimate power–and in the village of Konohagakure live the stealthiest ninja in the world," Misa read aloud from a TV guide. "But twelve years ago Konohagakure was attacked by a fearsome threat–a nine-tailed fox demon which claimed the life of the Hokage, the village champion. Today, peace has returned, and a troublemaking orphan named Uzumaki Naruto is struggling to graduate from the Ninja Academy. His goal: to become the next Hokage. But unknown to Naruto and his classmates, within him is a terrifying force..."
"What the hell is this?" Naruto yelled. "How do you know my name?"
"So who do you think the bad guy is?" Raito asked Misa. "This Naruto guy? 'Terrifying forces within' don't sound like anything good."
"Excuse me, but who are you?" Kakashi asked pleasantly.
"Not now," Raito said, waving him off. Sakura and Sasuke stared.
"I think so," Misa said, examining the TV guide. "He certainly seems the most annoying, anyway, and this nine-tailed fox thing definitely sounds bad."
"I am sorry to interrupt you," Kakashi began again, "But I really must know who you-"
"Ah, you shut up," Raito said. "Misa?"
Misa stepped forward and wrote his name into the Death Note.
"What's that?" Kakashi asked, peering forward. "Hey, why's my name in it? And why- ahhh!"
He fell over on the floor, dead.
"Ahhhh! Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura yelled, running over to him.
Naruto and Sasuke just gaped at their teacher's fallen body, disbelieving.
"Now that the interruptions have stopped," Raito said, unfazed, "I am Kira, god of the new world, and I have come to kill Naruto, the bad guy of this anime."
Naruto looked up, blinking.
"Wait a minute," he said, confused. "I think you have it wrong. I'm the good guy. The show's named after me. I mean-"
"Do not question my judgement!" Raito snapped. "Kira knows all and sees all! Misa?"
Misa wrote Naruto's name into the Death Note.
"No, really," Naruto said, trying to reason with Raito. "I'm the hero of the show. You said you watched Inuyasha, right? It's like that. I'm the good guy."
"Oh," said Raito. "I see now. Too bad it's too late to do anything about it now."
Naruto fell over dead a moment later.
"Ahhhh! Naruto-kun!" Sakura cried, dashing over to him, crying.
Sasuke just stared at his comrade's fallen body.
"...what the fuck?" he asked aloud.
"Now then," Raito said, capping his pen. "Come along. We shall be going now."
As Raito, Misa, and Ryuuk walked off, leaving a crying Sakura, an astonished Sasuke, and the bodies of Naruto and Kakashi behind them, Zabuza, Haku, and Ochimaru watched on from the surrounding forest, glancing at each other, wondering exactly thwat the hell was going on.
"Haru-chan! Haru-chan!"
Haruhi looked down at Hunny, who was smiling up at her happily.
"Want to eat cake with me and Takashi?"
Haruhi smiled. Hunny was so adorable.
"Maybe later, Hunny."
Hunny pouted, before smiling brightly again.
"Okay! I'll go ask Renge-chan!" He danced off to go do just that.
Haruhi smiled about the host club, watching the twins bother Kyoya as Tamaki laughed. It may not be much, but she really did enjoy her time here.
BANG!
Haruhi gasped, whirling around, as an odd-looking boy, girl, and demon thing appeared in the middle of the music room.
"I am Raito, Kira, god of the new world," announced the boy, stepping forward. "I have come to kill the villain of this anime. Who here is the bad guy?"
Haruhi and the others exchanged dubious glances. This was a shojo anime. They didn't really have a bad guy.
"All our hosts here are honest, hard-working people," Tamaki announced, stepping forward grandly. "We exist only to serve the ladies, to grant them a few moments of time in their busy lives." He bent low and kissed the girl's hand, who blushed. Raito looked annoyed.
"Misa," he said. "Tell me: who's the bad guy here?"
The girl called Misa looked around, before pointing at Haruhi.
"That boy is dressed as a boy, but has a girl's name, and her lifespan is a girl's," Misa said. "If she's deceiveing people, that's bad, right?"
The host club gasped.
"No, no!" The Hitachin brothers rushed over to hug Haruhi protectively. "Haruhi is most definitely a boy!"
"She has them all convinced! What manipulation!" Raito said dramatically. "Write, Misa, write!"
Misa took out her Death Note and began to write.
"What's she doing with that notebook?" Kyoya asked, finally coming over, curious.
Haruhi fell over a moment later, dead.
"Oh," said Kyoya. He paused. "I guess I'll have to cancel her debt." He sounded disappointed.
"NO! Haruhi!" Tamaki launched himself at Haruhi, crying all over the place. "NO! Haruhi! Come back! I love you! Come back to Daddy! I need you here! I never got to see you in a dress or have you make me a bento box! Please, Haruhi, come back!"
"This is pathetic," Raito remarked. "Come Misa. Next stop."
"Oh no!"
"It's-"
"Not-"
"I am bad! I am evil! I am MOJO JOJO!"
The Powerpuff Girls hugged each other as the maniacal monkey laughed itself shitless atop its volcano hideout.
"Well, come on, girls," Blossom ventured, looking up at the creepy primate reluctantly. "We have to go stop him now."
"But Blossom, do we have to?" Bubbles whined. "I really hate Mojo Jojo! He keeps coming back, and he's so mean!"
"Yeah!" Buttercup agreed. "Can't we just kill him?"
"Now, Buttercup," Blossom said, her tone admonishing. "You know we're the good guys in the show. If we killed him, the nasty parent groups would get mad and we'd get taken off the air. We'll just have to keep on beating him."
Suddenly, there was a loud bang, as two teenagers, one male and one female, appeared out of thin air, along with a demon. The male began yelling something about being god at the monkey, before gesturing to the girl, who wrote something down. Moments later, Mojo Jojo had a heart attack, died, and fell into the volcano, and the three odd characters vanished, never to be seen again.
The three superpowered kindergarteners stared.
"...nevermind," said Blossom.
"L!"
L, who had been watching the news, turned in his chair to see Watari come rushing through the door, carrying a clipboard and wearing a worried expression.
"What is it, Watari?" L asked.
"Reports are coming in of Kira appearing TV and killing off the villains on anime and cartoon shows from all over the globe!" he exclaimed. "So far, the list of shows that have been hit includes Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, Naruto-"
"Watari," L interrupted.
"Yes, L?"
"I have been watching the news all day," L stated, biting his thumb. "Don't you think that if Kira were going to kill criminals on TV, he would choose to do it on a more refutable source than an anime network?"
"But L, the fact remains that-"
"Watari, it is impossible for a real person to travel on anime and cartoon shows and kill fictional characters! This is ridiculous, and is obviously a cheap publicity ploy the animation companies came up with to try and attract more viewers! Now, if you will excuse me, I will return to watching the news, where the facts on the Kira case are real!"
"Yes, sir." Watari slowly backed out of the room.
L sighed and before turning back to his TV. Honestly, what was wrong with every around him lately?
L reached down and took a bite out of his cookie. It was like they were all on crack or something, he decided. They were all on crack.
Reviews love! Please review!