I like cake. Cake is full of sugar. And sugar is niiiiiiice... But enough of my rambling, enjoy.
---------------
Shadow watched his monitors in disgust. Kefka had befriended Tails, thinking of him as a fan. Amy was sadistically torturing Sonic with vampire-human mating rituals, which wasn't really BAD for Shadow, per se. But he was expecting it to be more violent... And now, Tails and Amy were asleep, so there was nothing for him to do... But, Shadow just switched to MTV 2 and watched a Viva La Bam marathon (I wish...) until night, then he switched back to the monitors. Tails and Kefka were gone, and Sephiroth was tied up. Shadow cursed. Kefka had obviously waken Tails early so that they could find Amy. Shadow normally wouldn't care, but he needed Amy to be alive if he was going to successfully realise his ultimate goal. So, he grabbed his gun, and dashed off to the girls' wing. When he arrived, he was greeted by Kefka. "Kefka, your assignment was to eliminate Tails--the fox! Why would you not do this simple task?" Kefka looked at Shadow as though he had lost his mind, and replied, "Because, I have a fan. Which is one more than what I usually have. Now, if I kill my fan, I would have no fans. Again. And that would be taking on step forward, then two steps back." Kefka aimed his palm at Shadow, and started to mumble something, but Shadow quickly aimed and fired, blowing Kefka's entire hand off. Like Sephiroth, Kefka didn't bleed. Kefka rushed at Shadow, and knocked him down, causing his gun to fall out of his hand and slide waaaaay across the room. Just like them there moving picture shows I hear tale of so much. Then Shadow got back up. Then he and Kefka did thier little John Woo stand-off thing. Then Kefka got bored and beat the crap out of Shadow. Then Kefka grabbed his missing hand off of the floor.
"Wheres the glue?"
---------------
Tails looked at the piece of paper Kefka had given him. "Room 6,009,339,374,759, Ah, here it is, Room 6,009,339,374,760!" Tails said. He almost opened the door, but decided to put his ear to the door istead. Yay! Common sense! He stuck his ear closer to the door. He could make out Sonic's voice...
"YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME! GET BACK! I HAVE A POINTY PIECE OF SHRAPNEL AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO USE IT!"
Oh, yeah. It was definitely Sonic. But then, he heard another voice. Amy.
"Come on, You know you want to--"
"OH, I KNOW I DON'T WANT TO! NO! STAY BACK! I'LL POKE THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!"
There was a short silence, followed by a splatter noise. Then Amy giggled some.
"Sonic, who taught you anatomy? The heart is here, not next to the stomach."
"THAT WAS A PRACTICE, BACK OFF YOU CRAZY GIRL THING! OH DEAR GOD NO!"
There were some scraping noises. Then a high pitched, girly scream. Then a long, awkward silence...
"See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?"
"... I hate you."
"I know."
"No, really. Hate."
"Yes, yes, cry us all a river and such."
"... You aren't really Amy, are you?"
"What? Yes I am! I guess... I just never had any means to get what I wanted. And now, I do."
She giggled again. There was a sort of ripping noise, then Sonic screamed.
"AGH! MY FREAKIN' ARM!"
"Oh, relax. At least I only took the fake one."
"THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T HURT, YOU CRAZY! IT WAS GRAFTED TO MY SHOULDER!"
"Whiner."
Tails couldn't help it-he HAD to see this. He opened the door and ran inside. He gasped. There was a tape recorder playing on top of Amy's bed. And a note. Tails picked up the note. It said...
'Not that easy.'
Tails grit his teeth, and yelled out a few obscenities. Kefka entered through the doorway. "What? Is she here?"
"No."
"Well, that sucks."
"I hate her."
"What? Why?"
"Why not?"
"She... uh... hmm... My fans are smart..."
"Where did she go? Where could she have gone?"
"I keep tabs on everyone. She kept muttering on to that blue thing of hers that she had always wanted to visit Fiji..."
"...FIJI? THATS HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD!"
"She obviously doesn't want you near her."
"Crap... I don't know what I should do now..."
"You should go tell your clan leader about this turn of events."
Tails turned to face Kefka. He was reading a book, titled Vampire Knowledge for Complete and Total Morons With Nothing Better To Do With Thier Time.
"I think I will." And with that, they were off.
---------------
Sonic was on a plane, sitting next to Amy, again, he couldn't move most of his body. He glared at Amy. She was smiling innocently at him. He was wearing a red wool sweater to cover up his (once again) missing right arm. He, of course, hadn't put it on. The plane was taking off. Sonic muttered a few obscenities, then glanced out the window. He turned his attention back to Amy every few seconds to make sure she stayed right where she was. She just seemed to drift off into space, or deep thought, after a bit, so Sonic turned his full attention to the window. There didn't seem to be much activity. Sonic just sat there, looking out the window. He had a choice, but it wasn't much of a choice. Watch the Resident Evil lip-girl, or stare out the window. Eventually, some kid started running up and down the hallway, with her parents yelling and chasing her. He sighed and concentrated harder on the night sky, trying to make out the serial number on the wing when he heard the girl choking. He looked over. Amy had grabbed the girl by the throat, and Amy's retinas had turned a solid red. Amy pulled the girl close to her face, and bared her fangs at the child. The girl went silent. Amy whispered something into the girl's ear, and threw the girl down. The girl walked, silently, to her parents, and they sat down in thier seats. "That was mean." Sonic told Amy. Amy faced him. Sonic went pale. She got directly in front of his face. "Shut up." Sonic leaned away from Amy. She grabbed his right shoulder, and pulled him towards her. Sonic gulped. Amy didn't blink, and, from what Sonic could tell, wasn't even breathing. Thier eyes met. Sonic froze. Amy whispered to him, "You better hope this plane lands soon, Sonic." She let Sonic have a good view of her fangs. "I'm getting hungry, and you are seated closest to me." Sonic started to sweat. Was she for real, or was she just trying to scare him? He didn't know anymore. He started to ask, but, decided against it. Amy's eyes were serious enough. He believed her. He cleared his throat, glancing at the people that were starting to stare. Amy let go of Sonic, and turned her attention to the crowd. They all took a good look at her, then pretended to be reading magazines or watching the lip-girl. Sonic got an idea. A crazy idea, that might kill him, but an idea. He would try the same trick twice, since we all know where airplane toilets REALLY lead... "Amy...?" Sonic asked, trying to mask the hint of fear in his voice. She turned to him. "Can I use the bathroom?" He asked, trying not to studder. Amy glared at him for a little bit. "No." Sonic was about to ask her again, but decided against it. She had made it clear that he wasn't going anywhere for the rest of the six hour flight. Wow, fast plane...
---------------
Kefka was waiting outside his fan's "hive complex", casually speaking with the guard, who, surprisingly enough, seemed to enjoy the company. Kefka had been in the middle of a joke about a rabbi, a bundle of twigs, and a tonberry walking into a bar, when his fan re-emerged from the entrance, wearing a black jacket, and a pair of sunglasses. His fan removed the glasses, and turned to Kefka. "We should go to the airport. Got our tickets right here." He told Kefka, holding up two thin pieces of paper with some wierd language printed on them. They walked towards the airport, and made it halfway there before the sun started to rise, and they bought rooms in a hotel. Kefka decided to adjust his sleeping schedule to match his fans', since they would obviously be traveling together if he was going to help the small... cartoon... mammal... person... thing... ish. And so, on the second day of "Kefka's Adventure", copyright Kefka Entertainment, Inc., they reached the airport.
---------------
To be continued...
I thought today I would end the chapter with some reader reviews. Cue theme song.
READER REVIEWS! READER! REVIEWS! FOR PEOPLE TOO STUPID AND/OR LAZY TO CLICK ON THE REVIEW BUTTON! DOODOODOO!
Knuckles9048 reviews...
This is... quite the story. I will never... NEVER... look at life the same again.
And I thought I was the only guy with this kind of sense of humor.
WAFFLES!
Waffles! Yeah! Awesome! Right! Go away now, and remember-- stay away from the Quaker Oatmeal guy! He'll steal your soul and give it to the creepy Burger King Guy! Moving on to cats4fun, who reviews...
keep up the good work!
Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it, even though there isn't enough to make fun of the reviewer. Well, I'll just comment on the name. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
Finally, a review that if you, like me, are far too lazy to care that it is from a week ago, will enjoy this next one, from Sponge.
I would just like to point out that the entire first paragraph is in bold, which is hurting my eyes. I do suspect this is something caused when the file was transferred onto
The paragraph at the end is also quite bunched together; it wouldn't hurt to split it up into two or three paragraphs.
I think that it will really improve the readability and presentation of your fic.
I like bold. That is why the entire fic is written in bold. Wear glasses. It helps. Really. Also, could you please finish that sentence? Believe it or not, I really do want to know how it ends.
The next line is legitimately good advice, but, being the lazy turd that I am, I'm just going to leave it like it is.
I think so too. Which is exactly why I haven't changed a thing about any aspect or writing style in this fic.
Thank you for letting me do that, I feel even worse about myself now. But, anguish sustains me, so its okay. I'm off to the Waffle House. What? I'm visiting a cousin in Jacksonville, Florida. All they have is waffles. If you live there, go around town, randomly asking people "Are you Will Counter?" I'll say "No". Thats how you'll know its me. (Watches as a few idiots frolick off to do so)
Well, I've gone off and rambled an otherwise short chapter into a relatively (HOLY CRAP ITS BIG) long one.