Blood That Binds
Disclaimer: Vampire Game and all of the characters mentioned in this fic belong to to the talented Judal.
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'Brother…'
Whenever I say that word, it leaves such an interesting taste in my mouth. I don't dislike it, but…it's very new…and…it doesn't suit you.
I have to say that odd tasting word, although I may not like it. It's for…formalities. I have to say it for the people of my kingdom, the same people whom I've promised to protect with my very own hands, no matter how incompetent these delicate hands really are.
We are…siblings. We are only siblings by my father -rest his dark soul- but even though it is only through that single parent, that same blood is running through both our veins, no matter how much I hate to admit it.
'Ill…no…brother…'
That name which I have said so many times during the years that you have watched over me…I can't think of you as anything else.
You knew, didn't you? You knew that we were siblings, but you never said a word. You didn't try to stop my feelings for you as they grew.
Why?
If you were by my side to protect me, why wouldn't you stop me from falling in love with you!
You said that you would keep me safe from any harm. Just like father said he would.
You really are his son. You really are…my brother.
You can't you see my heart that's slowly chipping away every time I see you. Every time I have to call you 'brother'.
You contradict yourself too much…brother.
The day you first met me, the day you found me in that garden, you were as apathetic as you are today.
I remembering greeting you enthusiastically, thinking that you would automatically smile back at me just like everyone else would do at the castle. However, you just stared at me with those hauntingly blank, green eyes. You merely greeted me politely, Father clapping you on the shoulder, looking at me with a tender smile reserved only for myself, as he explained that this young, red-haired boy would protect me.
Did you know as far as back then that you were my brother?
You kept me safe from a distance, forever in the shadows as I ran around the gardens surrounding the castle. While I was in the sunlight, twirling around in circles as I screeched happily when I became too dizzy and fell to my knees onto the soft blades of grass, you kept in the shadows of the trees. You watched my every move, unbeknownst to myself in my naiveté.
Through my fits of laughter at my clumsiness, I could see you sit up slightly, your eyes narrowed ever so slightly at my actions, probably in fear that I would hurt myself.
Were you really concerned for me? Or because I was my father's daughter, the younger sister you were supposed to hate and…protect?
Although your worry may have been platonic because of my father's orders, the soft, gentle hand that was outstretched toward me, helping me up from the ground was a memory I could never forget.
The smile that was given to me in return of my overly enthusiastic hug…was it really all fake?
Somehow…as I grew older, my views of the world outside of the castle were stunted because of my overprotective and doting father. As a child of royal blood, I was completely naïve to the harsh world with all of it's tribulations that my innocent mind could not comprehend
The knowledge of life for others outside the castle, of the hardship of the villagers my father 'protected' was limited, but what I did learn that was apart from my dozens of private teachers were from the gossiping maids and…you.
Time didn't affect only me, but you also. It turned you from a skinny boy with blank eyes into a young man. You were not only the strongest swordsman in the kingdom, but one of the strongest spell casters of the history of the kingdom of Ci Xeneth.
As you grew, not only physically, but also in power, rather than being my personal private bodyguard, Father forced you onto the frontlines, fighting the 'bad guys' who obstructed his path of rule.
I remember waking up in the middle of the night, trembling as tears ran down my face onto my sweat-soaked blanket as my dream kept flashing in my mind's eye.
Your corpse...as pale as when you were alive…your blood red hair falling in waves around your ethereal face, those emerald green eyes that I adored looking into looked down at me as blankly as before. Your hand…your blood stained hand extended toward me; steady as the day you first met me.
I couldn't sleep peacefully that night, nor the days after it. It wasn't until you were calmly walking through the castle walls that I could feel the worry that had piled itself onto my shoulders finally fall onto the ground as a forgotten memory as I ran toward you, your figure blurry as tears obstructed my vision.
Yet…that red hair…as beautiful as the roses that I often picked in the garden for you and…as mournful as the blood I could vaguely remember in my dreams shown through those tears as I leapt into your arms. I remember that I wrapped my arms around your strong neck as if it was a lifeline. My head buried against your firm chest as I wept out the rest of the remaining tears that I had not cried all those other long, lonely nights.
It was my first taste of true sorrow…and relief.
'…Brother…you taught me so many new things…'
The so-called sorrow I felt when the dresses that my father bought for me did not look as half as good on me as it was supposed to did not compare to the sorrow I felt when I held onto you.
The strong arms that held onto me as I cried shielded me from the curious eyes of the servants, from my father whose face darkened, and the emerald eyes that I so feared that if I looked up at them, would be blank.
Hours later in my room, I sat in my room, my body worn from late nights tumbling and turning in my bed finally caught up to me, leaving me a drowsy doll on my bed. The soft knock on my door forced me from my half-asleep state, the door opening to reveal the same person I had been avoiding all night long after my…outburst.
I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep when in reality; I probably was on the verge of sleeping. To my sleepy surprise, I heard the door close, but instead of hearing footsteps retreating, I heard the soft footsteps come close to my bed.
That warm hand that had held mine was placed on my head, settled my rapidly beating heart as it settled the unruly strands of curly blonde hair away from my face, tucking them behind my ear.
That hand…
It wandered to my cheeks, knuckles brushing delicately over my cheeks as if I was made out of the most fragile glass.
Unexpectedly, they traveled even further, hesitantly stopping just shy of my lips. I could feel the warmth from that palm against my face, so close…so close to me.
Much to my dismay, that hand moved away and the sound of rapid footsteps moving away from my still form and out of my room.
You taught me another thing that Father kept away from me that night.
Desire.
It only grew from that night on. Although you acted completely the same from the days onward, I could, with every step that I took, the feel of that piercing stare that had been unknown to me before that night. In the dark of the night, I shivered beneath my warm covers, remembering the feel of your soft hands holding my slim figure against yours.
I can't do that anymore, or, I shouldn't.
My feelings for you that had been so pure in my eyes, in one night, had been turned into one of the most ghastly of sins.
My brother. The brother I never knew I had.
Father…oh Father…were you really trying to protect me or just…use me just as you Illsaide?
Ishtar says that the people should accept us. The bloodline is so inbred that cousins marrying are just like a half brother and sister marrying.
As much as I want to believe that, I can't. It doesn't make this relationship any more suitable, especially in the eyes of the people, my people.
It's not fair…it's not right…none of it.
Now, to my chagrin, I have to put the guise of the adoring younger sister and you the dutiful older brother.
We tread carefully around each other when we're in the same room together, that is, if we somehow manage to stumble in the same room.
You are avoiding me now.
I shouldn't be surprised. You are in love with me and I in you. 'Are' being the key word. How do, or…how can I forget this love that was not returned, but hidden from me for me?
I don't.
I whisper your name into the darkness, half-drowsy as I lay curled in your arms. Those slender, but deceptively strong arms that I've always admired tighten around my naked form, holding my flushed body closer to your own larger one.
I've called your name out so many times not only this night, but also many before it.
The one name I haven't been able to call is the name I'm supposed to say.
'Brother…'
No…not like that. Siblings never call out their siblings name like that.
'Illsaide!'
Then why…why do I keep doing it?
SS: Heh heh, I just wrote my second Vampire Game fanfic. Kewl. Oh, and I hope you enjoy it. Comments and criticisms is much appreciated. If you'd like to read my other VG fanfic, it's called "Nothing Like Him". It's a Duzzel and Ishtar fic by the way. Anyway, now that the pluggage is over, I wanna read some reviews to see if it stank or not. -laughs-